Felicity: An American Girl ROMANCE
by felicityphoenix
Summary: 11 year old Felicity Merriman is just discovering the agonies of first love on the path to becoming a woman, with none other than her father's apprentice, Ben. And nothing simple is ever easy...
1. Chapter 1 Falling In Love

_**Felicity: An American Girl Romance Part One, Chapter One**_

I suppose there should be some kinda disclaimer for this here story, so here it is: I don't own any American Girl characters, I am only in love with the colonial couple of Felicity and Ben. So there!  
This is my first fanfic ever on the net, so the first chapter may be a little odd, but it will get better! Bear with me. The story takes place right after the mystery at King's Creek, and includes the character of Lady Templeton from the Felicity movie.

Felicity: An American Girl Romance Part One  
Chapter One

"I have to go, Lissie," Ben was saying. He was edging toward a door beyond which lay darkness and mist.

"No, You can't!" Felicity begged frantically, trying to run to him and stop him from going out into the blackness, but her legs were numb and wouldnt work. The best she could do was twitch.

"I must," he told her solemnly. "My time has come."

"Ben, NO! What about me? Don't leave me, don't!"

"Goodbye, Lissie. I won't forget you." And with that, he turned and vanished into the fog and darkness, far out of her reach.

Panic and despair welled up in her chest. She tried to call out for him but her voice wouldnt work, either._ Ben, no, come back, please! You'll be killed! You_-

Eleven-year old Felicity Merriman jerked herself awake with a gasp, prompting her mother to ask, "Why, Felicity! What on earth were you dreaming about just now?"

Felicity blinked, suddenly embarrassed. Across from her in the carriage, Mother was peering at her curiously, as was her younger sister Nan, who had been playing "finger-grab" with baby Polly in Mother's arms.

She swallowed, despite a suddenly dry throat. "I-I'm not sure."

Nan grinned teasingly, "Well, you were twitching like a cat about to pounce!"

Felicity blushed.

"'Tis best you woke, for we are almost home now," Mother told her, changing Polly from one arm crook to the other.

"We're back in Williamsburg?" Felicity asked hopefully.

"Aye. And soon we shall see your father."

Felicity nodded and rested back against her seat. Beside her, her little brother William dozed off and on, as she herself had done, lulled to sleep by the rocking carriage. She smiled at William, seeing his head nod, then turned to gaze out the window on her right. Familiar scenery rolled by, bright and green in the early summer sun. She spotted familiar homes and buildings. They would be home very soon and they'd be able to have supper with Father.  
And Ben.

The fear and despair she'd felt in the dream was still with her. She still felt shaken up inside and it was difficult to ease. It was not the first disturbing dream she'd had about Ben, her father's apprentice and her very good friend. In the night, she'd been woken by a dream where he'd been shot and was dying, and she hadnt been able to get back to sleep afterward.

They had left Grandfather's plantation early, because Mother wanted to be back in Williamsburg with Father, who was especially busy with the store, what with government officials bustling about town. Felicity was depressed about having to leave King's Creek so soon, as summer had just begun, but Mother promised they could return again before fall, which made leaving tolerable.  
She had been previously depressed about discovering her new friend, Mr. Haskall, was a British spy, and she'd had to turn him in for it. On top of that, at dinner yesterday evening, Mr. Tate, the plantation's overseer, went on about how the Continental Army was seriously lacking in uniforms, food, and supplies, which in turn reminded her that Ben would be leaving to join the army when he turned eighteen in September.

Of course she'd been worried about what would happen to him once he went to war, but he'd been on her mind a lot lately, for reasons she couldnt understand, and only when she caught herself smiling as she thought of him did she wonder what in tarnation was getting into her_.  
Was it a fancy? Was she beginning to fancy Ben Davidson_?

Felicity felt her face turn hot and quickly glanced at Nan and Mother. They were both too busy trying to get Polly to laugh, so they hadnt seen her blush.  
_Am I starting to fancy Ben_? she wondered, feeling dizzy_. Of course he's my friend and I care about him, but...what is this? If it was just a fancy, I'd be silly and stupid, like Annabelle Cole, and I am NOT like Bananabelle Cole!  
Do I...dare I even think it?...I'm only eleven!...but I am not a child. Could it be possible...that-that I LOVE him?_

_Love_? Felicity Merriman stared down at her hands in her lap, but she was seeing Benjamin Davidson's face in her mind. Ben, who was soon to leave to become a soldier, possibly be killed. Ben, who shared her secrets and taught her to whistle and fish and fly kites. Ben, who had chocolate brown hair, warm brown eyes and a grin so irresistable it made her feel like_-  
Whoosh_! Was it actually, humanly possible for one's heart to flip over within the confines of one's chest? Felicity absently smoothed the yellow fabric of her gown. 'Twas a miracle of God she could maintain the appearance of drowsiness while her insides were as jittery as rabbits!

But yet she couldn't find much happiness in such a giddy feeling. He was leaving soon. He might not come back. He was 17. She was 11. He wouldn't think of her as anything more than a sister. She wasn't even old enough to be courted.  
A wave of dizziness washed over her. Felicity squeezed her eyes shut and fisted her hands. What on earth was wrong with her? Was this what it felt like to love a boy? Nervous, exciting, and ... weakening?

"We're home!" Nan blurted loudly and suddenly, prompting Felicity to jump and snap her eyes open again.

"You're loud-mouthed, Nan," William grumbled sleepily, rubbing his eyes. He leaned against Felicity, who put an arm around his small shoulders and gave him a gentle squeeze.

"Well we are!" Nan protested. "Look, there's Ben!"  
Felicity looked.

The tall, slender, teenage Ben was coming to the gate as the carriage pulled up and came to a gentle halt. He was grinning as he peered in at them. Mrs. Merriman was the first out, with Polly in one arm and her hand taken by Ben so he could assist her down.

"Sorry your trip was so short, ma'am," he said to her. "But Mr. Merriman is very glad to have all of you home here in Williamsburg."

"As we are glad to be home with him!" Mrs. Merriman told him cheerfully. "He is still at the store, now, is he not?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Ah...then perhaps I have time to make a pie..."

Ben grinned with enthusiasm. "We would_ all_ like that, ma'am!"

Suddenly Nan rushed past them, eager to be stretching her legs, and behind her William came, calling, "Nan! Wait for me!" The two laughing children ran about the yard in circles, which was their newest game-making themselves dizzy then falling down. Mrs. Merriman smiled and shook her head.

"At least they'll be too dizzy to get into trouble. Ben, dear, will you help David with the trunk? Then you and Lissie come in for something refreshing to drink."

"Yes, ma'am."

The carriage's remaining occupant poked her red head out. Ben offered his hand to Felicity to help her down, and she took it gratefully, for she still felt swimmy-headed and unsteady. "Good afternoon, Ben," she said, forcing cheerfulness. Combined with her light-headedness, the sight of Ben made her nervous and giddy at the same time. The brief, warm grip of his hand made the butterflies in her gut go mad.

"Good afternoon, yourself!" said Ben, his grin widening. "'Tis good to have you back. I wanted to tell you that was a really brave thing you did, turning in that spy Mr. Haskall. You're a brave patriot girl, Felicity Merriman."

"Thank you, Ben," she replied tiredly. "I couldn't have done it without your help in convincing Father to come. But I'm just glad it's over."

David, the carriage driver, was beginning to unfasten the Merriman's trunk from it's platform at the rear, so Ben went to help. Also tethered to the rear of the carriage was Penny and Patriot, to whom Felicity went. The two horses, mother and foal, pushed their noses at their mistress.

"Looks like those two are glad to be home." Ben said, helping David lift the trunk down. "Wait a moment and I'll get Patriot."

Felicity smiled mildly, watching Ben and David carry the trunk into the house. Ben didn't look any different today than he usually did-everyday work clothes, brown hair back in it's queue-and yet he looked appealing to her in a way that made her feel tingly inside. Handsome, yes, but...a rush of heat swept over her that had nothing to do with it being summer.

"Hungry, Penny-girl?" she asked the beautiful copper-colored mare she was standing beside. "Bet you're tired from all the travelling, huh?" Felicity needed a distraction. She felt young Patriot's black nose tickeling her ponytail.

Then another wave hit her. One of dizziness again, making her utter a small sound of weariness and lean against Penny's strong neck.

"Okay there, Lissie?"

Felicity jumped. Ben had returned. He was staring at her curiously. He waved to David as the older man started the carriage away then took hold of Partiot's halter.

She waved too, and said to Ben," Oh, I'm fine. I just didn't get much sleep last night. 'Twas rather warm in the house."

"Oh." The two of them started walking toward the barn with the horses.

"So, how are things at the store?" she asked him pleasantly, doing her best to think about something other than having affections for Ben. As if it were even possible now.

Ben was rather talkative. "Busy! It seems like we just can't keep sugar and rum on the shelves. A few British soldiers come and go, more often than usual, but they get on well with your father."

"'Tis hard not to like Father!" Felicity said jovially.

"Aye," Ben agreed, grinning (the butterflies in Felicity's stomach took fit) "And it seems that Lady Templeton has had some of her family arrive from England for awhile-her sister and nephew, I believe-I hear her sister's husband passed away and her sister is quite distraught."

Felicity couldn't help but grin at Ben's gossip. "And from whom did you hear all this news?"

Ben laughed. "From Lady Templeton herself! She came into the store this week in desperate need of sugar and flour. She claimed the only consolation her sister Prudence will accept is sweets."

"Ah," Felicity sighed, as they entered the barn with the horses. "If only the woes of the world could be solved with sweets."

"Then soldiers would be too fat to fight!" Ben exclaimed with a chuckle. He grinned broadly at Felicity's un-ladylike laughter. Patriot eagerly followed his mama into the stall they shared, where it was cool and fresh hay awaited them.

Felicity latched the stall door securely then turned to Ben. "Speaking of soldiers, I suppose you're excited for September to come."

"Aye, I am indeed." He folded his arms across his chest and looked grave. "I'll finally be able to be a part of our fight for freedom."

"Then you're probably unable to think of anything but_-oh_!" A wave of dizziness so sudden and sharp took her by surprise so that she fell back against the stall door to brace herself.

"Lissie?" Ben stepped forward and grabbed her shoulders. "What is it, what's wrong?"

For a brief moment, her tongue felt numb and she couldnt form words. Ben's brown eyes were wide with fear and concern. Then she blurted out,"Fine...I'm fine." She swallowed uncertainly. "I told you, I didn't sleep well last night. My balance is off because of it. Why, I could fall asleep standing up!"

"I think you almost did!" Ben said worriedly. He gently released her shoulders. "Perhaps I should go fetch your mother..."

"No, Ben, there's no need." Felicity sighed, missing the grip of his hands upon her. "Mother knows I had a difficult night. It'll pass, 'tis nothing!" And then she felt uncomfortable under his scrutinizing gaze, so she moved from the stall door, nudged his arm as she went by. "Let's go get something to drink, I'm thirsty."

"Well..."

She glanced over her shoulder. "I can't wait to see Father! If you don't mind, I'd like to walk back to the store with you."

"Sure!" Ben hurried to catch up. "If you're sure you're okay."

"If I told you that I would enjoy a fishing lesson right now, would you believe me?"

A relieved grin crossed his face. "Aye, I believe you!"

But as they headed toward the house, Felicity could feel his eyes upon her, and she wasn't sure if she should feel nervous, glad, or self-conscious. Was loving Ben making her sick? Was she so worried about him being killed that it was affecting her own health? One night of very little sleep was turning her life upside down!

Felicity's walk to the store with Ben was pleasant and dizziness-free. The streets were full of people, on horse, foot, and in carriages. Some were familiar faces who nodded to them or wished them good day. It did not occur to either one of them that all who saw them thought that they made an attractive young couple.

As they approached the store, Ben had just finished telling her about a big, black muscular horse that a customer, Mr. Haverty, had purchased for farming, when they both saw a rather short young man slip on the steps to Father's store, and go down on his rump, swearing.

With Ben stifiling a chuckle, they rushed forward to help.

"All right there, sir?" Ben asked, reaching for one of the young man's flailed arms.

"Yes, yes, do release me, will you? There are too many steps to this blasted store!" He had an English accent, was clad in rather well-to-do grey velvet, and appeared to be of Ben's age, with already thinning hair pulled back in a very tidy queue.

Grinning, Ben let him go.

"This establishment doesn't even sell tea, for God's -" The man broke off, squinting up against the sun at the girl standing over him.

Though Felicity wore a sunhat, the light still illuminated her red hair from behind, casting an auburn glow about her. She smelled of lavender. Curious eyes the color of the finest emeralds peered down at him under dark lashes.  
She was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen in his life.

"Can you get up, sir?" Felicity asked him, grasping his other arm.

"Yes, I-you are-my goodness," he stammered, gawking at her. She held his arm as he scrambled to his feet, not blinking even once as he did so. "Th-Thank you, young miss, I-I am...obliged. I am... at your service, yes."

The young man's voice had a high pitch to it, a nervous sound, and he spoke fast. Ben noted that the heels of the man's shoes were high and elaborately embroidered, as was his rich clothing_. A Loyalist, no doubt_, Ben thought_. A Loyalist fop!_

Felicity smiled courteously and picked up something on the ground, but the man was not concerned with that. He was staring at Felicity as if he'd never seen a girl before.  
"Your hat, sir," she said.

"Pardon?" He was mesmerized by her eyes. So like emeralds...like _an angel's!_

_"Your hat."_ Felicity handed it to him gently. "Do take care, sir."

The young man's head and widened but beady hazel eyes followed Felicity as she followed Ben up the steps. He saw the boy with brown hair that had offered to help him up first turn and say something to the beautiful girl, who giggled, then the two disappeared into Merriman's store.

_He hadn't even asked her name!_ He continued gaping at the store enterance as if he expected the girl-no, the_ angel, _to re-emerge. So young, so angellically beautiful...

"Sir?" panted a tall, grey-haired gent. As well-dressed as the stunned young man to whom he was referring, the older man jogged up and wheezed. "I saw you fall and-"_gasp_"-and as I was attending your mother's parcels-"_wheeze_"-I could not come to your aid, sir, I do appol-"

The young man waved him silent, still staring at the entrance to the store. "Never mind that, Smedley. I am fine, as you can see."

The older man looked bewildered as he clutched at the stitch in his side. "But sir-"

"Be silent! Can't you see I'm contemplating, old man?"

Contemplating _what?_ The confused butler/footman/confidant stared at his young master as if trying to work a puzzle with a tired mind. "Do excuse me, sir, but your mother is quite tired and insisting on getting back. This heat does not do any of us well." Smedley withdrew a hankerchief from his coat pocket and dabbed at his high forhead. "She requires a foot-soak, my lord."

"Does she now," the young man murmured, his gaze still unbroken. "If mama is going to endure a lengthy visit here, she will have to adapt to this wretched weather like the rest of us." Finally, he turned to stare at his servant."There's something I must do."

Going up the steps of the store, Ben had whispered to Felicity under his breath, "That was Lady Templeton's nephew!"

Felicity giggled. "He's awfully short!"

"He reminds me of a turtle," Ben told her. "A Loyalist _fop-turtle!"_

Felicity snickered wickedly, much to Ben's amusement, as they entered the store. Their good-humor was short-lived, however, for an all-too familiar girl's voice squeaked loudly. "_Ben, there you are!"_

Every head in the store turned toward Annabelle Cole, rushing over to Ben, who sighed warily and stepped behind the counter, looking pained.

"I need your assistance in choosing some thread, " Annabelle told him, fluttering her eye lashes."Do show me your spools!"

"But you have seen all the spools Mr. Merriman has," Ben replied tiredly. "Numerous times this month."

Annabelle giggled airily, and began to go on about how a girl could never have too much thread. Felicity frowned... hard. Suddenly, she felt an intensely burning flame spring to life in her chest, and she wanted more than anything to very quickly shove Annabelle out the store and down the steps. The older girl had no intention of inspecting thread. Annabelle was here to inspect _Ben._

For quite some time, Annabelle had made a habit of coming into the store to flirt with Ben, using any little excuse to do so. Many times Felicity and Annabelle's younger sister Elizabeth had teased Annabelle about it, but _Bananabelle, _as the two girls called her, was determined not to be disuaded in her misssion to get Ben to court her.

_As if Ben would be interested_ _in such a snobby, self-centered priss-pot like her,_ Felicity thought seethingly. _And she's a Loyalist on top of that! No way would Ben ever...would he?_

Ben didn't look too happy as he plucked out spool after spool of thread for Annabelle to look at, but Annabellle wasn't looking at them. She was fixed on Ben and smiling flirtatiously, giggling and batting her eyelashes.  
Felicity wanted to wretch._If she even DARES think she'll ever win Ben's affections I'll take her by that mousy brown hair of hers and-_

"Oh Felicity!" Elizabeth exclaimed, interrupting Felicity's savage thoughts as she came to her friend's side, looking harassed. "I'm ever so relieved you're back! Do you know that Annabelle has dragged me in here every day for a week just to look at nick-nacks and annoy poor Ben? She doesn't even_ buy_ anything! I'm so embarassed I can't even look your father in the eye! But your father is truly kind-I think he knows why Bananabelle keeps coming in, and he always gives me a sympathetic look, but I hate that she does this-Lissie, are you all right? You look... like you could absolutely explode!"

Felicity herself hadn't realized just how hard she'd been glaring at Annabelle's back. Now she had a headache! She rubbed absently at her temples with both hands and said, "Oh, sorry, Elizabeth! I was just...thinking"

"Thinking about a way to tease Bananabelle, I hope!" Elizabeth said cheerfully in her delightful English accent. "She desperately needs to be put in her place!" She grasped Felicity's closest hand. "I know you and your family weren't gone very long to your grandfather's plantation, but Williamsburg is_ so_ lonely without you! I've been so bored that a jaunt to the privvy is the only excitement I get!"

This seemed to rouse Felicity from her ferocious stupor. She laughed, even snorted, despite her slightly pounding headache. She turned to Elizabeth and gave her dear friend a hug. "Oh Elizabeth, I missed you, too! I'm sorry she makes you come down here to stand and wait while she makes a fool of herself. Father is very understanding."

"Aye, he is. Now what shall we do about Bananabelle today?"

Felicity cast the elder Cole sister an irritated look, and a weariness washed over her. She sighed submissively. "Nothing, Elizabeth."

Elizabeth gaped. "_Nothing?_ Lissie... are you well?"

"I'm not sure," Felicity muttered softly. "I didn't get much sleep last night. But I think I've just realized something."

"What? Tell me!" Elizabeth grabbed her arm.

Felicity's tired green eyes met Elizabeth's concerned blue ones. "Teasing Annabelle just doesn't work. As many times as she ends up humiliated she just doesn't quit. Please don't hate me, Elizabeth, but I must say she just isn't worth the time and effort anymore."

Elizabeth searched her friend's face and found only resignation. "I know, Felicity," she said finally, gently, "I know. I'm afraid it will take something serious to make Annabellle see reason. And no, I don't hate you, Lissie. How could I? Especially when we share the same belief!"

"She is your sister," Felicity said.

"And she tends to be draining, does she not?" Elizabeth leaned her head against Felicity's. "Good God, Lissie, we are growing up."

Felicity smiled, leaned against her friend. "'Twas inevitable. Now whatever shall we do for entertainment?"

Elizabeth looked thoughtful. "I suppose there are always..._boys."_

"Elizabeth Cole!" exclaimed Felicity, snickering. "What a delightful suggestion!"

And then they heard Bananabelle purr, "I do plan on entering the beauty contest at the summer social coming up. Surely you'll come watch?"

Ben looked clearly uncomfortable. "Um, I plan to watch the wrestling match."  
Felicity smirked.

"Oh, but surely you'll have time to come by and cheer for me, won't you?" She pouted flirtatiously.

Ben cast Felicity an undeniably helpless, pleading look. Right. That did it. Felicity squared her shoulders and strode over behind the counter to Ben's side and took the rack of thread spools from him. "Father needs you to open the crates in the back room. _I'll_ take over here."

The look of relief that crossed Ben's youthfully handsome face was indescribable. Annabelle folded her arms over her chest tightly, and, glaring at Felicity, snapped, "_Ben_ was helping me just fine, thank you. Why don't you run along and play, little Felicity?"

"Because this is _my_ father's store, and now that I'm back I fully intend to be helping out alot around here," she snapped back. Her intense green eyes locked with Annabelle's blazing brown ones. "Go ahead, Ben_. Thread_ is more of a woman's area of expertise, anyway. It does _not_ take all day to figure out what color goes with..._whatever."_

Behind the fuming Annabelle, Elizabeth grinned.

Ben didn't need to be told twice. Passing Felicity's back he uttered a muffled, "Thanks," before hurrying off to Mr. Merriman's counting room.

Annabelle, who hadn't heard, opened her mouth to protest vehemently, but Elizabeth stepped forward and grabbed her sister's arm. "Let's _go_, Annabelle. I'm tired and getting hungry. I've practically memorized every item for sale in Mr. Merriman's store. Now, are you going to purchase thread or not?"

"Absolutely NOT!" Annabelle pouted angrily. "Not from your rude little friend, anyway. Let's DO go!"

Elizabeth and Felicity exchanged a grin. "See you tomorrow, Lissie," Elizabeth said quickly.

"Hopefully I'll see just you !" Felicity replied, watching them go. Smiling crookedly, she shook her head. No way was she going to let that snarky snob get her claws into Ben. Why, if it was the last thing she ever did-

"Ah, Felicity!" Mr. Merriman exclaimed, finally free of the talkative men he'd been assisting for some time. He came behind the counter and gave his eldest child a good strong hug. "My beautiful wild-child, tell me, how was the trip home?"

"Bumpy!" Felicity replied instantly. Though she didn't want to be called a child anymore, Father's warm smile and comforting presence made her feel at peace and secure as a child loved to feel. She yawned suddenly, clapped a hand over her mouth and tried without success to shake off the exhaustion that was threatening to overwhelm her. Again.

"What's this?" Mr. Merriman leaned back, studied her with playful, exaggerated expressions. "Not even evening yet, and my lively girl is _yawning?"_

_"Oh, Father,_ I'm not tired!" Felicity tried to explain sweetly, but she knew her tired eyes were betraying her. "I simply didn't sleep well last night. 'Twas warm!" And that was the truth, but it wasn't the whole truth. She wasn't quite prepared on any level to say 'I think I love Ben and I'm so scared of losing him that it's making me sick!'

But Mr. Merriman laughed and said, "Well, _there is _a cure for that, and that's to sneak out to the kitchen for a cup of cool cider!" He gave Felicity's shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "You'll sleep better tonight, for I believe we'll have a breeze. Your mother and sisters and brother well?"

"Aye! Mother wants to have a pie ready for supper-but I don't think I was supposed to tell you that..."

Mr. Merriman winked and grinned. "Then I shall act surprised. Especially if the pie is apple!"

A nervous face stuck itself out of the back room. Ben looked about the store for a moment, then emerged completely. He came over to Mr. Merriman and Felicity, who couldn't help but grin with amusement.

"There you are, Ben, " Mr. Merriman said pleasantly. "That fellow over there looks in need of assistence with the pipes. Be a good lad and help."

"Aye sir," Ben replied, with a measure of relief.

Mr. Merriman turned to Felicity. "And as for you, young miss, I'd like for you to go home and rest a bit."

" But Father, I'm fine, I want to stay at the store awhile, until you and-"

"Lissie, please." He took her gently by the shoulders and steered her out from behind the counter. "Tell your mother I'll be home directly, which I will, and that I gave you unbelievably strict orders to lie down awhile. I never did care for carriage rides, myself, either. They make me feel...wobbly."

Felicity giggled and gave in. As her father went to assist a woman at the fabric bolts, she cast Ben a 'See you later' look (he nodded back), and headed toward the as she was going out, a jittery young man was coming in. They bumped into one another, and Felicity immediately recognized him as the man who had fallen on his rump outside the store.

"Sorry, sir, I was unaware anyone was coming in!" It was _her!_

I-I-I'm sorry," he stammered, gawking at her. She was indeed a vision of angelic, youthful beauty. Eyes like the finest emeralds. Hair as red as a fiery sunset. Without a doubt, she'd be a glorious sight to behold as a woman, a time that was fast approaching. He gulped. "My manners are not what they should be, miss, so I pray you will-"

"Pardon," said a woman, the same woman Mr. Merriman had been helping moments earlier. She was carrying a load of parcels.

'Here, ma'am, let me get the door for you!" Felicity quickly stepped outside and held the door open for the woman.

"Oh, bless you, child, that's nice of you!"

The young man was left standing just inside the door, gawking and gaping at Felicity leaving. Just like that, she was gone. Just like a breeze, the girl_-the_ _angel_-was gone. Again. A knot of frustration was forming in the pit of his stomach. And he'd spent a considerable amount of time working up the nerve to come into the store to approach her and properly introduce himself!

But there was still something he could do. He looked about the store. Being close to dinner time, the flow of customers had ebbed considerably. The young man recognized the boy with the brown hair as the one the beauty had followed into the store. He snapped the fingers of one hand haughtily. "You there, boy!"

Ben looked up from his work at the counter... and frowned. It was the _fop-doodle_ again. Being called 'boy' like that was immensely irritating, especially when it came from a FOP who didn't seem to be a day older than himself. Strong annoyance settled in as the young man strode over to the counter.

"Who was that beautiful young girl who just left the store?"

Ben glared. "What do you mean? Mrs. Morrisey just left, but she's not-"

"The girl, _the girl!" _the young man interrupted fast and urgently. Didn't any of these absurd colonists have a brain? "That striking young red-haired girl that just left the store! _Who is she?"_

Then Ben knew who he was talking about. He was talking about _Felicity_. Ben felt a strong dislike for the fellow growing more intense every second. Whatever did this Loyalist fop want with Felicity?  
"She's the shopkeeper's daughter_...sir_," Ben replied hotly, brooding.

"I see," the young man snipped. "And would this_...shopkeeper's daughter_ have a name, boy?"

Ben's hands clenched the counter. "Felicity Merriman," he grumbled through clenched teeth.

"Felicity...Felicity Merriman..." The man murmured as though he was talking in his sleep. "Her name is Felicity. Such an endearing name for such a_...angelic young girl_." Mumbling to himself, he turned his back on Ben and seemed as though he were pondering one of the great mysteries of life.

"Felicity?" Mr. Merriman had finished with the last customer and strolled over to the counter where Ben was glaring so hard his forehead might crack. "Are you acquainted with my daughter, Mr...?"

"Forsythe." The young man spun around and thrust out his hand at Mr. Merriman. "Reginald Maxim Forsythe."

"Edward Merriman." The two men shook hands. Mr. Merriman glanced at the still brooding Ben before saying, "You're Lady Templeton's nephew, I understand."

"Yes, yes," Forsythe replied absently. "Mr. Merriman, I wonder if I could perhaps inquire about a meeting with your daughter_...Felicity_?"

Ben scowled. Mr. Merriman raised an eyebrow in mild surprise. "A meeting, Mr. Forsythe? I'm afraid you have me at a disadvantage, my young sir, but I don't think I quite get-"

"Mr Merriman," Forsythe began, stepping forward with his hands clasped behind his back, "putting it quite bluntly, I would like to inquire about the possible subject _of courting_ your daughter, Felicity."

Ben's mouth dropped open in absolute shock. Mr. Merriman, to the surprise of _both_ young men, chuckled softly and leaned casually against the counter. "Mr. Forsythe, have you any idea how old my daughter is?"

Forsythe looked indifferent. "Is _age _a problem, Mr. Merriman?"

Ben's eyes were going from his master to Mr. Forsythe like ping-pong balls.

"I'm afraid so, Mr. Forsythe. You see, my Felicity is only eleven years old. She is far too young to become involved in matters of courtship, even if she _were_ interested in doing so." He straightened, adding emphasis on his words. "I couldn't even discuss it further until she is sixteen."

"B-But, sir, in England, there are young ladies who even become _betrothed_ at such an age," Forsythe protested quckly. "Surely you and your family follow our customs?"

Mr. Merriman chuckled again. "Not all of them-very few, in fact. Here in Virginia we have made our own. Now...Mr. Forsythe, I truly appreciate your interest in my girl, but she is simply too young"

_There!_ Ben thought._ That ought to settle it!_

"Mr. Merriman," Forsythe began again, sounding frustrated and losing patience, "need I remind you that my family has a considerable amount of wealth and has a highly respected social standing both here _and_ abroad? I ask of you that you not take my inquiry lightly. sir."

Ben's eyes jumped to Mr. Merriman in a _'Can you believe this guy?' expression._

Mr. Merriman sighed irresolutely. "I'm not insulting you, Mr. Forsythe, I_ know_ about your family's fortune and standing. I have a great deal of respect and admiration for your aunt. I'm merely saying that my Felicity is too yong to be courted, nothing more."

Forsythe made an uncomfortable sound in his throat and said, "Then you should know I only have the most honorable intentions toward your daughter. If it is a letter of permission you require, I admit I cannot obtain one from my father, for he has passed on, but my Lord uncle Alexander Templeton will gladly be willing to present a formal inquiry-"

This time it was Mr. Merriman who interrupted. "There's no need, Mr. Forsythe. She is too_ young. _Please...the matter is closed."

"But you could allow me to visit," Forsythe pressed on. "I could come see her on the grounds of establishing a friendship."

"No, Mr. Forsythe," Mr. Merriman said, with a touch of authority in his voice. "The answer is still _no_."

"Your'e telling me 'no'?" Forsythe sputtered, and Ben looked utterly stunned. Forsythe's eyes jerked about as if he were looking for a hint as to what to do next, so he mumbled, "Perhaps, then... in time, you will change your mind?"

"Perhaps," Mr. Merriman replied (with no amount of assurance in his voice), "in about five years. We shall see."

Forsythe's mouth formed a firm, straight line. He stared at Mr. Merriman for a moment, then pursed his lips. "So we shall, won't we?" He nodded curtly. "Good day, Mr. Merriman. My best to your lovely daughter." He spun on his heel and strode out.

"Good day, Mr. Forsythe," Merriman chuckled again.

Ben felt as if he'd been holding his breath since Forsythe first addressed him. He came close to Mr. Merriman. "Could you _believe _him, asking after Felicity like that? I don't know about you, sir, but there is _definately _something about that _boy _I don't like!"

"I got the same impression, Ben," Mr. Merriman said, with a look upon his face that suggested he was in deep thought. "Do me a favor, Ben, and don't mention our little conversation with Mr. Forsythe to Lissie, will you? There's no need for her to be bothered with such a character."

"Aye, sir!" Ben replied promptly, in complete agreement. "Will you tell Mrs. Merriman?"

Mr. Merriman tapped his chin. "I believe I will, but later tonight, after dinner."

"Rude, wasn't he?" Ben glared in the direction in which Forsythe had gone. "As if Felicity would want _anything_ to do with a boy like that!"

With slightly raised eyebrows, Mr. Merriman gave Ben an amused smile. _Why young Ben,_ he thought, _is that a general observation, or could you perhaps have an interest in Felicity as well_? The idea was not strange or even shocking to Mr. Edward Merriman at all. He'd long known that his eldest daughter and his apprentice shared a special bond of sorts-brother and sister-ish, he'd believed, but they were not exactly kids anymore.

They certainly didn't look at each other like kids anymore.

Mr. Merriman merely smiled.

CHAPTER ONE FINISHED


	2. Chapter 2 Love Is Strange

Felicity: An American Girl Romance, Chapter 2

She was running in the darkness, blindly pushing through pine branches and tall grasses as she headed for the sounds of cannon fire and yelling men. "Ben!" she cried urgently, "I'm coming for you, wait! Stay where you are!" But even she didn't know where she was. It was so dark! The sounds of battle were always up ahead, yet she saw no light and didn't seem to be any closer to finding Ben than she was a moment before. Her breathing was fast and hard, and she was unbearably warm. The ground felt mushy beneath her feet, hindering her desperate progress.

"Ben where are you?" she screamed, and cold panic seized her. She was so scared that he was injured or worse that she couldn't think.

"Here..." his voice answered quietly, from up ahead. Or was his voice coming from inside her head? She stumbled forward numbly, trying not to cry, trying to will her increasingly heavy feet to move.

Then she stopped abruptly, desperately searching the shadows for the boy she loved. "Ben-where-?"

She saw him suddenly kneeling before her, looking down and clutching his chest. Slowly he looked up at her. With a blank face he said, "I've been shot."

"What? No, Ben, youre fine. There isn't any-" She looked at his chest where his hands were, and then she saw a dark wet spot spreading fast. Horrified, she screamed...

"Lissie! Lissie, wake up!" Nan pushed at her repeatedly. "Stop kicking me!"

Felicity moaned and woke, panting. She sat up, breathing hard and fast, and clutching her chest. She shoved away the covers and just sat there, shaking.

Nan rubbed her eyes and sat up, too. "Lissie," she groaned, "what kind of dream has possessed you?"

Felicity opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She felt too weak to make a sound. It was only when Nan nudged her urgently did she find her voice. "Nightmare," Felicity mumbled wearily.

Nan flopped back down, unwilling to fight her sleepiness. "Well, whatever was chasing you, Lissie, tell it to quit." And then she was gone, her breathing back to a slow, deep pace, leaving Felicity sitting up alone in the dark.

She gulped. The nightmare was still fresh and vivid in her mind. She clutched at her heart, which she was sure must've lept into her throat during the dream, but she was now feeling that it must've broken, for the shock of seeing Ben injured, even in a dream, was a sadness she wasn't prepared to handle.

She swung herself to the side of the bed, rose, and wobbled the few steps it took to get to the window. Her body felt heavy and weary, and she struggled not to cry. She couldn't remember a time when she felt so bad. Placing a hand against the window pane, she gazed out at the barn, where Ben was most likely sleeping away the night in his little room in the loft.

_Oh Ben_, _do you know what I'm feeling_? she thought pleadingly. _Don't you know how scared I am for you_? _Can't you see that I_-(her lower lip trembled with the effort it took not to cry)-_that I LOVE you_?  
And love him she did. There was no denying it, no wondering, no attempts to explain it away. It was what it was, and it was love. She did not fancy him, for a fancy was a giggly, flirty thing, and love-this love thing-was deep and turbulent and fiery in the depth of her soul. It was wonderfully overwhelming and burdensome at the same time.  
It was giving her nightmares!

She turned away, wobbled back to the bed and climbed in, not feeling at all well. Emotionally, her heart ached for the boy who was soon to become a soldier. Physically, she was drained and wearied. Something wasn't right about her, she knew, but it just wasn't enough for her to call attention to. She blamed her nerves.

_I am only eleven and I am having nerves_, _she thought_. She pulled the covers up and lay upon her back, staring at the ceiling. _I am too young for nerves! But I'm not a child anymore_. _I'm not! Like Elizabeth said_, _we are growing up_. _Which means I AM old enough for nerves_. _Ben_! _What have you done to me! _Again, there would be no sleep for the rest of the night.

-"Nan, sweet, where's your sister?" Mrs. Merriman asked as she carried in a heaping plate of hot biscuits to place upon the table. Everyone but Felicity had assembled for breakfast.

Nan plopped down in her seat. "Getting dressed. She's in a bit of a mood, probably because she was awake most of the night, having nightmares and all. She kicks in her sleep!"

Ben looked up from his plate. Mr Merriman looked up from the issue of The Virginia Gazette he was reading and said, "Did she kick you, Miss Nan?"

"Aye, Father! She's a fiesty sleeper! When she _does _sleep, that is."

Mr. Merriman was about to reply to this, when the topic of conversation ambled in herself, looking sleepy but sound. Everyone looked up at her, but she seemed unaware of it as she sat down by the head of the table, where Father sat, and Mother across from her. At the other end of the table, Ben watched her curiously and tried to look casual about it.

"All right this morning, my dear?" Mr. Merriman asked her pleasantly.

"Yes, Father, I'm fine," she replied, straightening her posture. "Better than yesterday, I believe." She added a forced smile for emphasis.

"Nan here says you woke her with nightmares, Lissie," Mrs. Merriman said, with a touch of concern in her voice. "Is something troubling you?"

_Oh Mother_, _if you only knew! If only I could tell you! _" Nothing more than concern for the men in our army," she said, trying to sound convincing. 'Twas only a half-truth. "I keep thinking about what Mr. Tate said about soldiers needing uniforms and supplies, men dying from the pox. I wish I could help somehow."

Soldier-talk always sparked Ben's spirit. He swallowed his bite of biscuit and said, "Soldiers are always in need of clothing. Shirts, boots, stockings and such. But even those in desperate need keep on fighting. Our freedom is too important to give up! Those redcoats will see that even with next to nothing we won't back down!"

"Easy, Ben," Mr. Merriman smiled. "Besides taking supplies to the commissary, men have been encouraging their wives to sew clothes for the troops..." He glanced at his wife with a warm smile. "Not that their wives need much encouraging."

"Aye," Mrs. Merriman replied gently, returning her husband's smile. To Felicity she said, "Lissie, do you think it would help ease your mind if I told you I think you are mature enough to join the ladies I'm sewing with? We're making shirts and stockings to send to Virginia's soldiers."

It was the first glimmer of the old Felicity anyone had seen since they'd come home."Oh, Mother, may I? I would love to! I-I know my sewing isn't perfect yet, but I'll do my best, I really will!"

Ben was grinning approvingly. Mrs. Merriman smiled and said, "Lissie, dear, your sewing needn't be perfect, and you have come a long way with your samplers. I believe this will be good for you."

"And the soldiers!" Ben added brightly.

Felicity flashed him an enthusiastic grin, and instantly felt her face grow hot. Her heart fluttered madly and she quickly looked away.

Before anyone else could speak, there was a knocking upon the door. Mr. Merriman looked surprised. "And who could be calling upon us this early?"He looked at his wife. "Whenever you and Rose make fresh biscuits and tarts we always get callers!"

"That's because all of Williamsburg knows Mother and Rose's tarts are the best anywhere!" Nan explained to them all. "People smell them and come a-running!"

Everyone laughed. Rose came in and said to Mr. Merriman, "It's Mr. Haverty to see you, sir. He says he's at his wits' end and must speak with you."

With raised eyebrows and an amused smile, Mr. Merriman rose and laid his paper down. "I suppose I should go see what has the old fellow riled up. Thank you, Rose."

Ben shrugged. "Probably that new horse of his."

Felicity remembered Ben was trying to tell her about it yesterday, just before that odd young man slipped on the steps to the store. "What is it like?"

"I'm not sure-I haven't seen it myself. But the last time Mr. Haverty was in the store he said it was a huge, black muscular thing that he bought for plowing his fields, but the big fella won't take the harness. He turns nasty when Mr. Haverty tries to put it on him."

"I would like to see that horse," Felicity stated, to no one's surprise. "I've never seen any of those really big ones that Grandfather used to talk about. You know, with hair on their hooves and the broad backs."

Nan crinkled her nose. " Big horses are probably mean."

William looked up from his breakfast. "Penny is a big horse and she's nice, Nan." He beamed around at everyone. "But her hoofs do not have hair!"

There was gentle laughter, and Ben said, "Penny is a thoroughbred, Will. Mr. Haverty's horse is another kind of horse."

Mr. Merriman came back in, and with him was a somewhat portly, kind-faced man of about fifty, holding his hat and looking curious. Mr. Haverty nodded to Mrs. Merriman. Mr. Merriman smiled and said to Felicity, "Lissie, Mr. Haverty here has a horse problem he would like to discuss with you." He gestured freely to Haverty, who stepped forward and cleared his throat.

"Good morning, Miss Merriman. I have heard, from a certain Mr. Jiggy Nye, that you have quite a way with independant-minded horses, and I have, as you may have heard, recently come into ownership of such an animal." Upon seeing the girl's bright grin, he smiled himself. "Miss, I am at my wits' end with the brute-which is his name, by the way. Brutus. Big Brutus. He is fine with a bit and saddle, but he absolutely will not let a harness touch him." He sighed with resignation. "Might I ask you... how can I put this? Look at Brutus, maybe...approach him in your own way? See if you can help him, perhaps?"

Felicity knew exactly what it was he was asking her to do. So, despite felling ill, she stood and smoothed her sky-blue skirts. "Mr. Haverty, I would be absolutely happy to assist you with Brutus!" Then hastily she looked at her parents. "With Father and Mother's permission, of course."

Mr. Merriman opened his mouth to speak, but before he could, Mr. Haverty blurted, "I would even give payment, Merriman." Like a child pleading his case, he rotated his hat in his hands and looked from Mr. to Mrs. and back. He seemed to be more eager for permisssion than Felicity.

Mrs. Merriman looked at her with concern and asked, "Lissie, do you feel up to this?"

"Aye, Mother, I do," she replied anxiously. "You know nothing occupies my mind like horses!"

"That is for certain!" Ben added with a grin.

Felicity blushed and was unable to hide it.

"Indeed!" exclaimed Mrs. Merriman. She looked at her husband. "Edward?"

Mr. Merriman smiled widely. "Very well, then! Mr. Haverty, payment isn't necessary. The joy my daughter recieves from her love of horses is more than payment enough."

"Bless you, Merriman," Haverty breathed (for he had been holding his breath all the while!), "I have long believed an animal responds better to a woman's touch than to a man's... but Ruth, my wife, will not go near Brutus, for fear that the huge beast will trample her dainty feet, and though he is no woman, that quivering lackwit of a son of mine keeps his skinny nose embedded in books..."

"Er," Mrs. Merriman said quickly, "Edgar attends William and Mary, does he not?"

"Aye, ma'am," Haverty replied. "Enjoys it he does. Wants to do office work. Bah! A man can have no more honest a living than working a farm!" He nodded to Felicity. "Shall I see you before noon?"

"That soon?" Felicity asked, happily surprised.

Mr. Haverty nodded vigorously. "Brutus won't help himself!"

"Then I shall see you at noon, Mr. Haverty," Felicity told him positively.

"Excellent, excellent." He turned to Mr. Merriman. "Thank you, Edward, I'm grateful."

Mr. Merriman walked him out. Nan started babbling about how proper gentlewomen do not work with horses (at which Felicity rolled her eyes), and even though Felicity knew her mother agreed, Mrs, Merriman did defend her eldest daughter by explaining to Nan that it was always a good thing to help out one's neighbors.

As she finished her breakfast Felicity thought about her dream. Another restless night. She would have to try harder to hide her wooziness, and didn't expect this night to be any different. And the thought of Ben being killed-her insides had taken to knotting up-put her already dizzy and troubled mind dangerously on the edge of real-life despair. Why did he have to go? Anyone with half their wits could see that chances of returning alive were slim!

_And he doesn't even know I_..._LOVE him! _She frowned. The fact and the feeling was still so new to her. _I thought love was supposed to make you so happy that you couldn't function properly! Instead I want to cry until I am all dried up like a piece of old fruit and_...

"Felicity," Mrs. Merriman said mildly, "you look as if your eggs have done something horrible to offend you. Are you sure you want to go to the Haverty's today?"

Nan and William giggled, but Felicity said quickly, "Absolutely! I'm just...thinking."

"Uh-oh," Ben said teasingly.

She gave him a wry smile and blushed again. _Look at you_, _Ben Davidson_, _all funny and handsome and knowing nothing about how I feel_, _how I am nearly at my wits end because of you_. _I do believe you will be the death of me!_

_-_Big Brutus was a strikingly big horse, all black and shiny from being well-groomed. As black as a night without a moon, he was thick and muscled, with impressive shoulders and a strong-looking back. Felicity's eyes went wide when she saw him. His mane and tail were both thick and long, and indeed tufts of coarse black hair grew out over his big black hooves. He was magnificent!

When Mr. Haverty left her alone with the 'big black bast-er, brute,' as he said, he left her with instructions to do "whatever you see fit to do," and that anything in his barn was at her disposal. Felicity told him that as with her beloved Penny, gaining Brutus's trust and easing fear of the harness would take time. Mr. Haverty merely replied that he didn't care how long it took as long as it could be done. They happily shook hands on the agreement.

She had come with an apple in hand. Inside the corral, the big horse watched her approach with bright black eyes and ears flicked forward. He stood perfectly still and seemed utterly gentle, as Felicity stroked his thick, muscular neck and marveleld at the feel of those hard muscles beneath his shiny black coat.

She watched him munch the apple calmly, amazed at how little chewing needed to be done by those thick jaws to devour it. "You are a marvel, Brutus," she told him admirably. "Ive never seen a horse like you before, and you've probably never seen a girl like me before. But trust me, Brutus, we'll be good friends. I'm going to help you see that harness isn't anything to be afraid of. Why, a big, brave bear like you has no reason to be afraid of anything at all! Let's go for a walk, okay?" The big horse did not object as Felicity took hold of his halter's rope and began to walk him around the large corral. She only did what instinct told her to do-move with the horse, talk to him, gain his trust, and go from there.

After a while she fetched the grooming brush from the barn and discovered that Brutus loved being brushed-his dark eyes closed halfway and his ears remained turned toward Felicity's voice as she told him about loving Ben and feeling as though she were getting sick all the time.  
Horses were good listeners.

It was getting on toward late afternoon, and Felicity had spent all day with Brutus. With the corral's aid she had climbed upon his broad back and rode him around the fields outside of Mr. Haverty's farm. Brutus didn't have legs like a thoroughbred, but Felicity was awed beyond words at the power of the rippling muscles beneath her, the sheer power of the creature. Penny was speed and air. Brutus was power and might. His big hooves pounded the ground, and Felicity felt like she was indestuctable, a lady-knight riding into battle, like Joan of Arc, and she longed to be wielding a weapon of some sort.  
So she whooped and hollored instead.

Brutus seemed to enjoy the exercise, and his new friend's enthusiasm. He tossed his magnificent black head and pawed at the ground (leaving rutted streaks in the dirt). He was easy to manage, quick to turn and eager to run. He was so strong that Felicity felt like she was a mere fly upon his back. For her, the day ended all too soon.

She was bringing Brutus back to the corral when she saw a familiar face peering at her over the fence. Ben!

"Felicity, hello!" he called cheerfully, and she guided the big fellow over to where Ben stood, looking awe-struck at her atop him. "Wow, Lissie...He's enormous!"

"Aye!" she exclaimed, leaning forward to briskly rub Brutus' neck. "But he's an amazing ride! He's not as fast as Penny, of course, but Ben, he's so powerful!"

"That I can see!" agreed Ben wholeheartedly.

Felicity studied him a moment, noting the light in his soft brown eyes, and felt the butterflies in her gut flutter around and around. "So what brings you by, Mr. Davidson?"

Ben grinned. "Your father sent me to collect you for supper, for one thing, and I just had to see this big fellow for myself for another. I never expected to see you riding him!"

Suddenly Felicity became a little self-conscious, aware that she was sitting astride the horse, and that loosened hair from her ponytail was wafting all about her face. She was flushed in the cheeks and breathing fast. She didn't know whether to be embarrassed or non-chalant.  
She had never cared before.

She was about to make a comment on Brutus' temperament, when a rather high English voice called out, "And how did such a young beauty tame such a gigantic beast?" Both Ben and Felicity looked around at the voice's source: a short young man dressed in dark purple approached them from the road, hands clasped behind his back, his thin mouth a straight line, hazel eyes locked on Felicity as though gazing at a work of fine art.

Ben glared irritably and Felicity looked confused. "'Tis only a horse," she said, smiling uncertainly. "And he's as gentle as a kitten."

Magnificent...animals even bow to such and angle's touch! Striding past the brooding Ben, who crossed his arms tightly, the young man came right up to the corral fence and thrust his hand out to Felicity."Lord Reginald Maxim Forsythe, at you service, my sweet young lady!"

_Lord _Reginald Forsythe? 'My sweet lady?' Ben's mouth came open and Felicity's eyebrows went up. But Felicity was polite and smiled, and extended her hand down to 'Lord' Forsythe, who, being short in stature, quickly stepped up on the bottom rung of the corral fence, clasped Felicity's hand, and placed a fast, hard kiss upon it. Ben twitched-instinct told him to slug the fop in the face, but he just gritted his teeth.

"You're an English Lord?" Felicity asked, stunned. That would explain his accent and fine, rich clothing, all right. "But you're so young!"

Forsythe reddened. His angel was impressed! He replied, "Ah, yes, dear one, I am indeed. My beloved Lord Father recently passed away and I inherited both his title and his wealth, the latter of which will be mine officially upon the arrival of my eighteenth birthday in May of the coming year." He still had a hold of Felicity's hand.

"Have you come to Williamsburg to live?" she asked casually, watching Ben glare.

"Not as of yet," Forsythe replied, beaming. "Mama and I have come for a stay with my dear Auntie Lucinda Templeton for a while, as Mama is in mourning...but perhaps I will find a convincing reason to stay." He gave Felicity's hand a squeeze.

Felicity gulped, and suddenly felt very uncomfortable. The young lord's stare was so intense she began to feel like the world was shrinking around her. It was utterly strange.

Ben was fixing to snap. He was struggling to keep still but failed. He reached forward and pulled Felicity's hand away, hastily stating, "'Tis time to get home, Lissie. Your parents are expecting us for dinner." He hoped adding emphasis on the word 'us' would give the fop cause to back off.

He didn't. He merely glanced at Ben, then said to Felicity. "May I assist you down, pretty miss?"

"Well thank you, but I-"

Ben interrupted in a harsh tone. "Felicity's fully capable of dismounting a horse by herself, Forsythe."

"I see. Then perhaps you would allow me the honor of escorting you home, dear Felicity?" He stared intensely at her.

"Well, actually, I-"

Ben interrupted her again. "I was sent by Mr. Merriman to see his daughter home, myself, Forsythe, so if you'll excuse us-"

"Its Lord Forsythe to you, lad..." Forsythe looked Ben up and down with a sneer. "You're Mr. Merriman's apprentice, are you not?" He said the word with distaste, as though to purposely rile Ben, who plainly couldn't be more so.

"Aye, Mr. Forsythe. Proudly, too, I might add."

There was a pause where Felicity wasn't sure what to make of the sudden and fierce tension between the two young men. Why was Ben being spiteful? Lord Forsythe was a stranger-surely Ben didn't think he was a British spy too? Forsythe shrugged, then turned his full attention back to Felicity. "You, pretty Miss, may call me Reggie-all my friends do. I also hope to speak with you again soon, perhaps join me for a cup of tea at my dear Auntie's estate?"

"The Merrimans don't drink tea," Ben answered for her, rudely. "They're patriots. As am I. I suppose you're familiar with the term?"

"Ben!" Felicity exclaimed, sliding gently off of Brutus and smoothing out her skirts. "There is no reason to argue. We'll go now, all right?" To Mr. Forsythe she again smiled and said, "It was nice to meet you officially, Mr. Forsy-er, Reggie, if you like. I'm sure we'll meet again another day."

"You may very well wager upon it, Miss Felicity," Forsythe told her, casting Ben a sly, superior sneer. He tilted his chin up. "Hopefully our next meeting will be without...annoyance."

_Bets? _thought Ben, glaring. He met Forsythe's cold beady eyes with his own blazing ones, confirming the mutual animosity, as Felicity hurried to exit the corral and get home. Forsythe spun away from Ben haughtily, clasping his hands behind his back and focusing on the angelic red haired girl coming towards them.

"Miss Felicity, you are indeed a vision of lovliness. I beg you to let me call upon you sometime!"

A young man wanted to call upon HER? She was only eleven! What on earth would Father say? She didn't even know this young man, and she certainly didn't think him very handsome at all. There was something odd about him...something tense amd strained and...creepy. And an English Lord? That was way beyond her naive perception of courtship possibilities. Besides, she had just discovered feelings for Ben, and she liked that just fine.

Ben quickly side-stepped around Forsythe and took Felicity by an elbow-she stared at him, bewildered-and growled, "She's only eleven. It would be in your best interest to remember that, Mr. Forsythe. Felicity, we are leaving."

"But Ben-"

"We'll be late if we stay any longer," Ben growled. He marched her away urgently.

"Um, good-day, Mr. Forsythe!" she called back, with a wave.

"Until we meet again, Miss Felicity!" Forsythe replied cheerfully. "For we most assuredly will!" Then he gave the back of Ben's head a nasty look. So, the apprentice wants to be a problem, does he? Forsythe considered this. 'Tis no matter. I will become better acquainted with the Angel, with no obstacle whatsoever. A shopkeeper's apprentice trying to get in MY way? How comical. Obviously the boy knows not who he's meddling with.

If looks could set things on fire, the trees and hedges around them would have been ablaze. Ben looked as though there was a thunderstorm brewing in his eyes. He had been silent since hauling Felicity away from the Haverty barn...and Forsythe.

"Ben, slow down, will you?"

Ben's mouth was a snarl. How dare that fop-doodle follow him from the store to Felicity! Just so he could set his ratty little eyes on her and-ugh!-kiss her hand and suggest that they have tea together and-

"Ben you're hurting me!"

What? Ben stopped, suddenly aware he was indeed gripping her arm too tight. He released her instantly. "Sorry," he mumbled.

Felicity was staring at him curiously. "You look like you could kill an entire British army single-handedly! What did Mr. Forsythe do to make you so angry?"

He gulped. He's trying to take liberties with a girl too young for courting, a girl who just happens to be my... His thoughts were in turmoil. His what? "I don't like the guy, Lissie. Something about him isn't right."

"Let me guess." Felicity began as if rehersing old song lines, "you think he's a spy-"

"No," he interrupted quickly, "he's too quirky to be a spy. He's a Loyalist, yes, but an arrogant, spoiled, creepy... purple _dandy_!"

Felicity burst out laughing. Hard.

"It's not funny, Lissie." "I know, I know, I'm sorry," she chuckled, holding her stomach. "You just looked so intense when you said purple dandy, I couldn't help it. But that's what I was thinking too, when I first saw him." She sighed, calming down. "But I feel sorry for him."

"You do?" Ben stared at her.

"He probably doesn't have any friends here in Williamsburg, and his father recently passed away. And even though he does seem to be, well...a bit odd, he is Lady Templeton's nephew, and she gets along well with our family. We should be courteous to hers."

"Courteous?" Ben shook his head. "Lissie, he's attempting to court you and you're not even sixteen. Not even fifteen!"

"I saw that," she explained gently. "And I know what age I'm _not_, thank you, but just because I'm merely eleven doesn't mean I'm a stupid child, Ben Davidson!"

He sighed, frustrated. What was he feeling? Jelousy? Over-protectiveness? Jelously? "I know you're not stupid, Lissie. You're the smartest girl I know. I just...I just don't like his intentions, that's all." Intentions? Where was he going with this?

Felicity looked at him directly. "No way would Father let a boy his age call upon me. Besides, I have no interset in him what so ever. I do, however, have some manners, and I believe in being polite."  
Slowly, they started home again.

"He was in the store before I came to get you, you know," Ben said casually. "He probably over heard your father tell me to go fetch you, and then he followed me."

Felicity frowned. "Why would he do that?"

"Because he fancies you." Ben looked away.

That made her feel strange. She'd never been fancied before. Especially by an older boy. But Mr. Forsythe was Ben's age, and she didn't care how old Ben was. She didn't think of Ben as very much older than herself at all. But to be fancied by someone who wasn't Ben? How strange all of this was! Should she be flattered or frightened?

"Oh, surely not," she suggested hopefully.

"Oh, certainly," Ben assured her gruffly. "I believe he came into the store looking for you only, now that he knows you're the shopowner's daughter. He'll probably be coming in all the time now, looking for you and pretending to be looking for something to buy."

Felicity gave him a twisted, sideways smile. "Sounds like someone else I know."

But Ben didn't pick up on it. He was busy brooding and looking extemely bothered. "Stay away from him, Lissie, okay?"

"Why, Ben-"

"Please," he interjected in such an urgent way that Felicity couldn't help but feel a rush of affection for him. "The fellow is bad news. I don't want him near you again. Your father wouldn't like it, either."

Felicty looked understanding and patient. "Okay, Ben, I'll try to. But it was he who came looking for me."

"I know," Ben breathed irritably. "And it's going to stop, I'll see to it."

Felicity grinned. He did care about her! Well, of course he does, he was her friend! But he didn't have to make this his business...he didn't have to pay attention to some boy who fancied his master's daughter if he didn't... oh, could he? Could it be possible that Ben loves me too? She glanced at him, saw the brooding look upon his youthfully handsome face, and felt her butterflies stirring agin. He really didn't like Lord Forsythe. But would he be so hot-headed if he wasn't, maybe, a bit jelous? Was it even possible?

"Are you going to tell Father?"she asked casually.

"Aye, absolutely," he told her quickly. _He already knows_, _Lissie_-_he knows what the fop wants_, _but I promised him I wouldn't tell you_, _and I won't_. _For your own good_..._how he's already approached your father about courting you_.

"Okay, then."

No argument? He glanced at her. She walked close beside him, and now and then their hands or arms would brush the other's. Ben found that instinct told him to just take her hand (she just seemed to trust him so unquestionably all of a sudden, it was immensely flattering), and he twitched, but didn't.

She was just eleven, he reminded himself. _But yet she's growing up so fast and changing so fast that it's almost like_..._like watching a rose blooming_! He bit his bottom lip, thinking. _I can't think about things like this right now! I'll be leaving soon!_  
_And then_ EVERY _young man in Williamsburg will be trying to court her! _A bell was going off in young Ben Davidson's mind. He clenched his fists in frustration. What in blazes was this he was feeling now?

Later that evening, when everyone was preparing to retire for the night, Ben stepped outside with Mr. Merriman.

"Something's obviously on your mind, lad. What is it?" Mr. Merriman asked curiously, before taking a long pull on his pipe.

"It's that Forsythe fellow, sir." Ben said, lowering his voice as if there were others around. "He followed me from the store today when I went to get Felicity, and not only did he formerly introduce himself to her, he kissed her hand."

"He kissed her hand?" Merriman's eyebrows went up.

"Aye, sir, and he offered to help her down from the horse, Brutus, and walk her home, and asked if she would join him for tea sometime!" He felt like a rotten little tattle-tail...and he was revelling in it.

"He did all of that, did he?"

"Aye, sir! And I believe if you confronted him about it he wouldn't deny any of it!" Ben was very eager to hear what his master's plan of action was.

Mr. Merriman looked thoughtful, one hand in his vest pocket, the other holding the pipe. After one much too-long minute, he asked, "And how did Felicity respond to his behavior?"

"Surprised," Ben replied promptly. "But she's a bright girl, sir, she understood he wishes to court her-and she has no interest in him what so ever." Ben sounded very pleased.

Mr. Merriman nodded. "Well she shouldn't be. She is only eleven. However, she will not be eleven long." He took another long pull on the pipe. "I swear, Ben, sometimes she seems to be wise beyond her years."

"Aye, sir, she sure does." He grinned. "But officially, she is still eleven." Merriman could tell Ben was still waiting to hear what was to be done about Forsythe. He sighed. "Ben, this Forsythe fellow may or may not present himself to be a pest. In the time remaining before your leave, could you, possibly-"

"Keep an eye out for that dandy?" Ben interrupted quickly and eagerly. "Yes sir!"

Mr. Merriman grinned. If not for their father-son relationship, a hot-headed apprentice's interrupting his master would be greatly frowned upon, but seeing Ben's face redden in response to his blurting out like that, the master could not help but feel warm affection for the lad.

"It seems we're thinking alike, Ben," Mr. Merriman told him agreeably. "Thank you for being such a good friend to Felicity." He clapped a hand on Ben's shoulder as he headed back inside. "She's very lucky to have you." He yawned.

Ben gulped. It was an ego-lifting complement, for he felt his spirits rise considerably. There were times when he felt lucky to have Felicity in his life-when he first came to live with her family and didn't have a single friend at all here in Williamsburg, when she shared her secret about Penny with him, when she came to his rescue in the woods after he had run away-aye, he was the lucky one.

As he headed for his room in the loft, all kinds of thoughts rolled around in his head. In his mind's eye he saw red hair and sparkling green eyes, an image that made him feel warm and goofy inside. He felt something he couldn't give a name to, and when he thought of Forsythe, he wanted to hit something for threatening that warm feeling.

Where in tarnation was this intense, burning need to keep that fop-doodle away from Felicity coming from? For the longest time, his attention had been the only boy's attention she'd ever had. And now another boy wanted her attentions. Ben Davidson did not like it. Not one bit.

-Templeton Manor was quiet and dark, all except for one room on the second floor. Flickering firelight danced upon the walls of a richly detailed green and white room. A solitary figure paced back and forth before the wide fireplace, taking sips of a dark red liquor off and on as it did so. Reggie Forsythe was in his private chamber within his dear Auntie's house, contemplating the painting that hung above the mantle of that impressive fireplace. The painting that he had taken great pains to secure on his and his mother's voyage over from Bristol. It was his favorite painting, he'd had it since he had been old enough to speak. Given to him by his beloved governess, whom he considered to be his first love, at only five years of age. Mother had been too busy with her headaches to give him the attention he desired. But Miss Lucille hadn't.

She had taught him to love angels.

He had no clue as to who had done the painting, no clue whatsoever. To him, it didn't matter. It was the portrait itself that he loved and admired, It was a huge picture, in a fine gilded frame-he'd always seen to its care and preservation. He stoped pacing long enough to gaze at it whilst standing still, cocking his head to admire it from every angle possible, as he so often did.  
Every day.

The portrait was of an angel, no doubt, clothed in rippling robes of red and gold, surrounded by children, and animals small and large, like deer and rabbits and horses, and birds of every color flew about the trees and hedges. The Angel of Nature, he believed it was called. But the thing he'd always loved the most about it, the thing that kept him riveted to it since he'd been a child, was the blazing beauty of the angel herself.

The angel was a heavenly vision, with wind stirring her vibrant red hair in a mass of crimson glory. Her stunning green eyes pierced the gaze of the admirer like she was gazing into the depths of the human mortal soul itself. She looked as though she could step right out of the painting and into the real world if she so chose. Angels couold do that. Miss Lucille had told him so.

The painting wasn't just all he had left of Miss Lucille, who had died at such a young and energetic age of twenty. He had memories of all that she had taught him, all about angels and how they were the personification of love, heralds of great and wonderful things. How he, Reggie Forsythe himself,would always have a guardian angel watching over him all the time.

In the last two days however, he had made a startling discovery. The angel in the picture, the very angel he so loved and admired, really existed. She was real!  
Her name was Felicity Merriman. And she was real!

He had made it a habit of collecting angellic things.

Now, things would no longer do. Angels existed. His angel existed. It meant something. This Felicity Merriman was the living version of his beloved painting. 'Twas as if she had indeed stepped out of the painting and come to life. Oh, she was a few years younger than the angel in the painting, but what did that matter? An angel was an angel. She was his angel. He swallowed the last of the wine and stared at his painting. Felicity, he thought deliriously, she is so named... There would be no doubt. If an angel indeed, he would have to have her.

CHAPTER 2 FINISHED


	3. Chapter 3 Hearts On Fire

_**Felicity: An American Girl Romance, Part one, Chapter 3**_

Her screaming brought both running, candles in hand, to the room she shared with Nan, who was sitting up with her hands clamped over her ears as she winced, hollering, "Lissie, shut up!" She pushed at her older sister with a knee.

"Felicity!" Mr. Merriman exclaimed, rushing to his eldest daughter's side, "Lissie! Wake up, you're having a nightmare!" He shook her shoulders gently. Mrs. Merriman stood behind him, looking worried.

Felicity shuddered and woke. Strands of red hair were stuck about her face with sweat and she breathed as though she'd been running for her life. But it had been Ben's life she'd been running for. Again. Her eyes were open, but she still saw the nightmare scenario she'd been woken abruptly from playing out before her. A British soldier about to plunge a bayonete into Ben's back, then doing it. Blood. Death. Insanity.

Mr. Merriman sat down beside her, facing her, as he pulled the shaking girl into his arms in a comforting hug. He held her firmly until her rapid breathing slowed, and then looked at her. "Now, my troubled girl, will you tell us please what that horrible dream was about?"

Felicity looked tired and weary. As much as she wanted to tell them, she felt she couldn't. She didn't feel up to outing her feelings for Ben right then and there, so she merely mumbled, "Somebody was being killed by a British soldier."

Both parents exchanged a startled look. Nan yawned and laid back down, unable to cope with nightmare-talk. Mrs. Merriman plucked the strands of damp hair off Felicity's face and brushed them back. "Who was it, dear?" she asked softly.

Felicity sighed. _Please, Mother, not now!_ She shook her head. "It was dark..." Which was true, it _was_ dark in the dream. But she had seen Ben clearly.

"Perhaps all the talk you've heard concerning the battles to the north has frightened you," Mr. Merriman suggested as he held her hands. "I know I can't shield you children from war-talk and such, but you mustn't think of those things before you fall asleep."

"But I didn't," Felicity protested drowsily. "I was thinking about seeing Brutus tomorrow." _And Ben stopping by to see me WITH big Brutus!_

"News of the war has everyone nervous," her father said gently. "I hate to think of it troubling you in your sleep, my young girl. But do remember 'tis only a dream. A bad one, aye, but just a dream nontheless. You will wake up unharmed." He looked thoughtful as he considered Felicity's sad eyes. "And remember always that your mother and I are here to protect all of you chidren, and if you should want to talk to us about anything..." He smiled warmly.

"I know, Father," Felicity said assuringly. "I'm sorry I woke everyone."

Nan grunted.

"Not everyone," Mrs. Merriman said softly. "Polly and William are still asleep. Sometimes they sleep like rocks!"

"Lucky are they," Nan mumbled.

Mrs. Merriman cast Nan an amused smile. "Sssh, Nan, go back to sleep." To Felicity, "Think of the summer social next week. The Mitchums always have such fine tables of food for everyone, and there will be music and reels, brightly lit torches, and even a beauty contest-Mrs. Mitchum will give a beautiful new hat to the winner!"

Felicity half-smiled (she knew Mother was desperately trying to make her feel better). "Beauty contests are silly, Mother. You know I've always thought so." But so her mother wouldn't feel at a loss, "I quite prefer the pie-eating contest, myself."

"As do I!" Mr. Merriman added gleefully.

"Well then, there you are!" Mrs. Merriman beamed. "Think of how much fun the pie-eating contest is! I myself will be donating four of my best cherry pies-

"My dear," Father interrupted gently and urgently, for pies were in danger, "are you sure you want to donate _four_ pies? After all, those contests are awfully messy, and there's always chunks of wasted pie lying around, and you know how the children and I love your pies..."

"_Oh, Edward!"_ Mrs. Merriman giggled. "I have the most _pie-loving_ family in Williamsburg!"

"Tarts..." mumbled Nan. "We love tarts, too..."

Felicity rolled her eyes.

"Feeling better, Miss Lissie?" Father asked affectionately. "Think you can sleep well now?"

She nodded slowly, lying back. _No, _she thought glumly. _Not as long as Ben insists on leaving us-me._

_"_Good night, both of you," Mother said, then they left the room together, taking with them the soft flicker of the candles Mrs. Merriman had picked up off the nightstand. Father closed the door, but not completely.

Out in the hall. turned to his wife. "I think I might know the reason behind Felicity's nightmares."

"Oh?" Mrs. Merriman nudged his arm as they went back to their bedchamber. "Tell me, Edward..."

Felicity did not feel well, not at all. Not only had she gone yet another night with very little sleep, but she was beginning to alternate between bouts of dizziness and weakness, but she said nothing to no one, no one but her journal, the one bound in leather that her grandfather gave her just before he died. She forced a smile when she knew a smile was expected, and pretended to follow the conversations at breakfast with her usual curiosity. In reality, however, she wanted to go back to bed and fall into a deep sleep for a week.

Around noon, Elizabeth came by to walk with her to Mr. Haverty's barn, but insisted they walk down one of the town's side streets first. As they chatted lightly, Felicity noticed something odd about her friend's behavior. Elizabeth kept looking around them, as if she were looking for someone or something. They came to an abrupt halt in front of a store in a white building called Pratt's, a new jewelry shop.

"...and he even asked me to join him for tea sometime, can you believe that?" Felicity had been telling her.

"Mmm-hmm," Elizabeth replied absently, looking at people strolling by them.

Felicity leaned toward her and said, "And then he asked me to marry him!"

"Ah, I see..." Elizabeth peered past Felicity with avid, wide blue eyes. Then those eyes suddenly stopped searching and snapped back to her friend's grinning face. "He _what_?"

"Ha!" Felicity exclaimed. "Got you!"

Elizabeth reddened quickly. "Oh, Lissie, I'm truly sorry! I really _was _listening to you, about this Lord Forsythe fellow and how he wants to court you, I just...got distracted." She looked embarrassed.

Felicity giggled. "I _believe _you, Elizabeth, but once we got down here, you were lost! Whatever has your attention, Miss Cole?"

"Well, it's this store, you see..."

Felicity looked behind them, confused. "Pratt's? The new jewelry shop?"

"Aye!" replied Elizabeth eagerly. Then in a lower tone, "I've been working up the nerve to go in there!"

"Why?" Felicity was at a loss for a clue, but she was amused anyhow. "Is there a certain piece of jewelry you're smitten with? Perhaps a new brooch you fancy?"

To Felicity's surprise, Elizabeth had turned a shade of red closer to her own hair!

"No, no, 'tis not jewelry!" Elizabeth looked about them wildly. "Oh, let's go! I have no nerve now! I thought if you were with me-oh, I can't, I just can't! Not today! Let's go, Lissie!" Before Felicity could speak, Elizabeth was hauling the both of them away from the front of Pratt's jewelry shop.

"Elizabeth! What in the world-"

"So tell me more about this Mr. Forsythe," Elizabeth said hastily. "You said he's odd, short, has beady eyes and Ben doesn't like him."

"Erm, that's right," Felicity replied hesitantly. They did not slow down until they were back on the road to Mr. Haverty's.

"I would _love _to tell Annabelle!" Elizabeth told her quickly. She was finally calming down. "She's already jelous of you, you know."

Felicity gaped, forgetting about her friend's odd behavior. "Jelous-of _me_? 'Your rude little patriot friend'? Whyever would Annabelle be jelous of me?"

Elizabeth gave her a sly look. "Because Ben lives with your family and _you _get to see and talk to him everyday."

"Oh." Felicity shook her head and felt quite a spark of annoyance at Annabelle.

Elizabeth continued, "_And _if she knew an _English Lord her _age was wanting to court you, she'd absolutely blow up!" She cackled wickedly.

Felicity's smile was crooked. "Then there would be banana-mush all over your mother's nice parlor!"

The two girls hee-heed and haw-hawed until they were red-faced. Elizabeth, Felicity had noticed quite some time ago, loved to cut up when they were alone together. It was like she was temporarily free somehow, to snicker and be funny and express her thoughts, ideas, and opinions. The two of them did indeed speak openly of anything and everything...

...which was why Felicity did not feel at all embarrassed when Elizabeth suddenly asked, "Lissie, what does it feel like, knowing an older boy wishes to court you?"

"Utterly strange!" Felicity replied, with raised eyebrows. "I'm not even of age to be courted, and I never expected to be thinking about it until I was older! I wasn't even flattered, Elizabeth. Mr. Forsythe is so...strange that he made me very nervous. As I told Ben, I was polite to him because his family _is _suffering a loss, and he is dear Lady Templeton's nephew, but I have absolutely _no _interest in him at all. In fact, he strikes me more of being _Annabelle's _type!"

Elizabeth nodded vigorusly, grinning. "Perhaps we should get them introduced-and soon, for I do believe Ben's poor nerves cannot take much more of my sister!"

"Aye," agreed Felicity. "Forsythe seems to be in Lord Harry's position, sort of-deceased father, inherited title and wealth. But unlike Harry Mr. Forsythe is not _handsome_." She snorted quite a startling laugh. "Ben called him a dandy and a fop, and doesn't want me anywhere near him!"

Elizabeth looked humorously surprised. "A fop-dandy? Goodness! We used to see them all over town before we left England. Mama wanted to know why _Father_ would'nt wear the fashions, and Father said something about a cold day in hell..."

They laughed enthusiastically.

"But that's awfully kind of Ben to be protective of you," she continued. "He is indeed a good friend to you."

Felicity felt her heart jump. "Aye," she murmured, almost dreamily.

Elizabeth noticed. "Lissie, I know you're going to miss him terribly when he leaves to go to war." She hesitated, biting her bottom lip.

Felicity suddenly knew the question that was coming.

"Is it possible...you have feelings for him?"

A wave of tingly heat wahed over her, and she could not keep herself from reddening. She quickly looked away and said, trying to sound indifferent, "Feelings? Whatever do you mean? He's a dear friend. I am too young to have _feelings _for anyone."

"No you're not," Elizabeth told her softly. "We are neither of us children anymore, Lissie. If you fancy Ben, you could tell me, you know. I wouldn't tell a soul. All joking aside, you're my very best friend and I...I wouldn't joke, and I would most definately understand."

Felicity stared at the ground as they walked, her thoughts whirling maddeningly about. Oh she longed to tell Elizabeth-and her mother and her father, Nan, Rose, William, the world-her feelings for Ben, but the severe sense of warning in her head said _no_.

"Ben is... my very good friend," she said at length (though Elizabeth was not convinced). "I shouldn't be thinking of him being anything more." The amount of sadness with which she said it told Elizabeth all she needed to know.

Felicity loved Ben. It was obvious. It was written all over Felicity's face.

Elizabeth opened her mouth to speak, but Mr. Haverty's voice called out, "Hello, Miss Merriman! Hello to you too, Miss Cole!"

He tipped his tri-corned hat to the girls as they approached the corral, and then Elizabeth's eyes caught sight of Big Brutus and grew wide. "Oh my! That horse is _huge_!"

Felicity grinned proudly. "Aye! But he's as sweet as a kitten-when he's not around the harness." She boldly entered the corral and went right up to the big fellow, and gave his thick, muscular neck several strokes. "Yesterday I rode him around the fields and we had a good time...didn't we, my big sweetie?" She leaned affectionately against him.

"You _rode _him?" Elizabeth was stunned and impressed. "What was it like?"

"Magnificent! Want to pet him?"

Feeding off her friend's bravery, Elizabeth reached over the fence and up to stroke the ebony nose. Brutus gazed at her with gentle, dark eyes, and she beamed. "What a gentle giant!"

Mr. Haverty snorted and handed Felicity the halter's rope. "Oh, he's a charmer with the ladies, all right. But he's a devil with me and the harness."

"We'll remedy that, won't we, big guy?" Felicity said to the horse, scratching between his ears, standing on tip-toe to do so. Her instincts told her Brutus's fear of the harness probably came from some bad interaction with one before Mr. Haverty came to own him. Penny had been hesitant with the saddle before Felicity's patience and kindness won the mare over. She was determined to do the same with Brutus.

She and Elizabeth bid each other good day, and Mr. Haverty went to his gardens, leaving Felicity alone with her charge. She withdrew an apple from the concealed pocket in her petticoat and smiled delightfully as Brutus took it. Then began Felicity's routine of choice: grooming, walking, riding, all the while talking to him softly and kindly.

During a trot through the fields, however, a strong dizzy spell came upon her, and she found herself falling forward over Brutus's neck. She grasped handfuls of his coarse mane and maintained her balance, slowing him until he stopped. It would not do to go sliding off the big horse, for such a fall would surely knock her out!

_It will pass, surely it will pass. I'm fine. I WILL be fine. Whatever this is will pass. I WILL NOT be ill with Ben leaving so soon!  
_Somehow, she wasn't reassured.

Ben came by to collect her at almost the exact same time as he did the day before, and today he was continually looking over his shoulder. _Looking for Mr. Forsythe, no doubt,_ Felicity thought, amused, as she tied Brutus to his post. She met Ben at the corrall gate, feeling the butterflies teem in her stomach as he looked at her with his soft brown eyes and smiled.

"No Forsythe today!" he announced, with what Felicity believed was a superior sneer.

"Did he come into the store?" she asked curiously as they started home.

"Nay, he did not! And its a good thing, too, because your father would have had a few choice words for him!"

Felicity grinned.

"How did it go with Brutus today?" Ben asked her pleasantly.

"Very well! He hasn't been a brute to me at all, but then I haven't brought him to the harness yet."

Ben looked interested (which set her heart a-racing, of course). "What do you plan to do with him?"

Felicity shrugged lightly. "What I did with Penny. Get him to trust me, then introduce him to the harness-piece by piece if I have to. Mr. Haverty and I agreed it does not matter how long it takes."

"'Tis a good plan," Ben said, and Felicity was doing a mad jig of joy within her tired insides over this approval from him."You have good horse-sense, Lissie."

She beamed. "Well I listened to everything you've ever told me about horses," she replied, sounding as if this was an obvious, simple fact, "and Grandfather told me all _he _knew about horses, so..."

"Now you're an expert!" Ben finished for her happily, and they both laughed.

Something was making Felicity's nostrils tingle, and it took her a full moment to realize what it was: smoke. She wasn't the only one who noticed. She and Ben exchanged a startled look, then they both began walking faster toward what they thought was the source: around the curve ahead on their left. Suddenly the smell of smoke was strong and a grey haze was drifting through the air.  
Felicity gasped as they came around the bend into treeless space. It was a barn fire! Flames of yellow and orange were quickly consuming the big building, and it appeared as though no one was home to see it. It was the Bagwell farm, owned by a family the Merrimans were aquainted with. The family's home, fortunately, was untouched nearby, but if something wasn't done fast...

"Ben!" Felicity said quickly, heart-struck. "Do you hear that? There are _animals _in there!"

"Aye!" Ben answered, his pulse racing, "Horses and a cow, I think!"

She turned to him, her voice level. "What do we do?"

"_You _go get help-surely others are seeing the smoke by now. I'm going to see if I can get the livestock out!"

"No, Ben!" Panic, so recently experienced in her nightmares, threatened to show itself. "You can't do it alone, I'm going with you!"

"Absolutely not, Lissie, I won't have you getting hurt! Now hurry!" And with that, he took off up the path towards the barn, removing his coat as he went.

Felicity grimaced, clenching her fists. _You wo__n't let me get hurt, Ben Davidson, and you think I would or should let YOU? Blast! _But she did as he told her. She whirled and ran for the nearest occupied house, all the while her thoughts and fears mingled with flashes of scenes from her agonizing dreams. So far, Ben hadn't been killed by fire in her nightmares...but that was no consolation, especially when it could very well happen in reality.

It took her five minutes to reach the nearest house. She hollered and shouted until two men emerged, alarmed. They could smell the smoke and see it as well, over the trees in the direction Felicity had come from. "The Bagwell's barn is on fire and no one is home!" she shouted. "There are animals inside!"

"Aye, Miss, we're coming!" the eldest of the men said. He turned to the younger man beside him. "We need more men! Hurry!"

Felicity had already started back toward the Bagwell farm, running as fast as she could. She could hear her own rushing heartbeat in her ears, and the now familiar dizziness threatened to come upon her. _No, no, not now! Ben may be hurt! I have to get to him!_

Two cows and a goat were standing in the pasture, away from the barn, when Felicity tore up the path. Ben was nowhere to be seen, but the whinny of a horse from within the crackling, burning structure told her he was most likely still inside there, trying to get the animal out. She did not stop. She did not hesitate. The heat of the fire and the heat of early summer mixed and nearly took her breath away, but she plunged into the thick, black smoke without so much as a gasp.

"Ben!" she shouted. There was so much smoke! "Ben, where are you?"

Flames were rapidly consuming the roof. Chunks of it fell even as they burned. Everything to her right seemed to be ablaze and the heat was deleriously intense, so much that she threw up her arms to sheild her face from it. Her left hand frantically waved smoke away from her eyes.

"BEN!"

"_Lissie_?" His voice came from ahead of her through the smoke. "Get out of here!"

"Not without _you!_"she hollered back over the sounds of crackling, popping and snapping. With all the love in her eleven year old heart, she plunged forward into the smoke, coughing and fanning.

Something brilliantly aflame fell directly in front of her from above and she squeaked, jumping back. The roof, or what was left of it, was going to crash down on them any moment!

She ran around the fiery length of wood and then she saw Ben, just barely, upon his knees near the stall door of a frantically pacing brown horse, who reared, whinnied, and struck out at its door repeatedly. One hand was clamped over his nose and mouth, and he kept striking out with his other, reaching through the flames that were between him and the stall door, vainly trying to unlatch it, but the metal latch itself was too hot. He was gasping and wheezing, choking on the thick black smoke.

"Ben, stop, you can't do it that way!" Coughing loudly, Felicity dropped to her knees beside him. She grasped her apron hem and tore it into a strip, wrapped the strip rapidly around her right hand and without thinking, plunged her hand through the thin flames and grasped the hot metal latch. Her hand fumbled and she began to feel the heat seeping through, but she managed to lift it. As she quickly withdrew her hand and shook off the wrap, as it had caught fire, Ben managed to find enough strength to grab her shoulders and pull the two of them aside and to the floor as the brown horse burst out of the flaming door and out the barn entrance.

And the moment it exited, a major part of the roof fell, flaming, blocking the two kids' only means of escape.

Ben caughed weakly (how much of the horrible smoke had he inhaled? Felicity wondered) and wheezed "You got to get out, Liss...roof's gonna fall!"

"It's already falling!" she yelled back at him. She clenched her teeth and said, "And I'm not leaving without you, Ben Davidson!" With that, she grabbed the collar of his shirt and hauled him up with all her might. They staggered back away from the flaming, sparking heap of roof wood that lay between them and the door. The heat was untolerable. Felicity was dimly aware of men's voices hollering outside. Did they know she and Ben were still inside?

It didn't matter. How could anyone get to them? They were trapped between a heap of fiery timber and the barn's rear wall, which was quickly going up in flames. Ben was losing strength, near to passing out. _Lord, what do I do? We're going to burn together!_

Instinct took over. She released Ben's arm from about her shoulders and grabbed the nearest thing she saw to them that wan't yet aflame-a shovel. But _blast_! as she grabbed it, the metal handle was god-awful hot and stinging, bringing tears to her itchy eyes. With the last semi-deep breath she could summon, she swung at the wall, hoping the fire had weakened it enough to where it would crumble.

It had.

But it took two more swings and more breath than Felicity had bargained on, and as she cast the hot shovel aside and reached for Ben, she felt ready to drop. But together she and Ben managed to stumble out of the hole she'd made, ducking and coughing. Ben fell to his knees right away, but Felicity pulled him up, yelling, "No, Ben, not yet, come on!"

The remainder of the roof had crashed in, right where they had been just moments before, and a gush of fire and black smoke bellowed out as the wall Felicity had broke through went down. Only when they were many feet away did she let Ben drop to the ground.

"There's the girl!" a man shouted. "There's a boy with her! See if they are all right!"

Someone was running over to them as Felicity sat down beside Ben, who was laying on his back, chest heaving as they both coughed and faught the smoke they'd inhaled.

"Miss," the man asked, "are you burnt? Are either of you injured?"

"N-No," Felicity sputtered. "But my friend needs water." She looked down at Ben and noticed then that there was a nasty-looking gash above his left eyebrow. She tore at what was left of her apron and quickly began dabbing at the blood that was running from it. Ben coughed, groaned, and tried to sit up, but Felictiy gently pushed him back down.

"Easy, lad," the man said as he knelt next to Ben, inspecting his cut. "Doesn't look too bad, now, does it?" he said to Felicity. To Ben, "You just lie there and rest, son. Let your young lady tend to you. I'll fetch you both some water."

As the man straightened, he asked them, "'Twas the two of you that saved my livestock, wasn't it?"

Felicity offered Mr. Bagwell a meager smile. "Actually, sir, Ben Davidson here did all the work."

"Well, you two are quite a pair, I must say." He scratched the back of his head. "I thank you both. Can't figure how that fire got started...Rest now. I'll be back in a few minutes."

Felicity turned back to Ben and dabbed sweat from his brow, and placed gentle pressure upon his cut to stop the bleeding, as Grandfather once told her to do when giving aid to a wound. With her free hand she unbuttoned his vest and shirt halfway.

He coughed and caught her wrist. "Lissie, what are you doing?"

"Be quiet, will you?" She pushed his hand back down. "It's dreadfully hot, and you need to regain your strength. Just rest a bit. Mr. Bagwell will be back with water." She licked her dry lips and brushed sweat-soaked strands of hair away from his hot face. His breathing was beginning to finally slow.

"You-You saved my life, Lissie," he mumbled, blinking up at her. His beautiful brown eyes were still watered.

"And apparently, you saved some lives yourself!" she replied, nodding toward the cows and goat nearby.

"But you-you-" He coughed hard. As he lifted his head, Felicity used a hand to help hold it up. He swollowed with a little difficulty and said, "You were so brave, Lissie."

Her heart swooned but her expression remained tired. "Perhaps. I have a dear friend who's a patriot. About to become a soldier, you know. He taught me all about being brave."

Despite the heavy feeling in his chest, he grinned. "I thought it was the other way around! This friend of yours is very lucky to have you."

Now _she _was blushing. "Aye, well...you can't go off and be a soldier if you get burnt up in a barn fire."

Slowly he sat up. "Makes twice you've saved my life, Felicity Merriman."

"Twice? What do you mean?"

He gave her a sly smile with his sidelong glance. "Today, and when I ran away and you had to come and find me in the woods."

"Oh! Well..."

"You know it's true! I don't know what I'd do without you, Lissie." To her surprise, he reached for her hand, only she winced when he took it, for a sharp pain shot through it. Burning pain.

"What is it?" Ben looked at her hand as she tried to snatch it away.

"Nothing, I just-"

"Lissie!" he exclaimed, eyes widening. "You're burnt! 'Tis as red as a beet!"

She put on her best devil-may-care expression (which she'd been practicing a lot lately), and looked at her palm with fake interest. In reality, it prickled and stung very much. "I must've burnt it when I grabbed that shovel. Ah well, better a hand than a whole body!"

She quickly looked away, for Mr. Bagwell was indeed returning with a bucket and a ladle, and she believed if she continued staring at Ben's intense eyes a moment longer she'd cry. It was emotional enough knowing those eyes were still upon her as she watched Mr. Bagwell approach.

"Here you two, take this. It's not that cool, but it will help-"

"Felicity! Ben!" It was Father!

Mr. Merriman jogged up to them, out of breath and looking very relieved as he knelt beside Mr. Bagwell and gave both Felicity and Ben a good looking over, noting Ben's cut and the way Felicity held her burnt hand close to herself. "Are you both all right? I was on my way home when I saw the smoke. A fellow told me a young red-haired lass alerted him and his father to a fire here when I arrived, and I knew right away who he was talking about!" He laid a gentle hand upon Ben's back as Ben drank from the ladle Mr. Bagwell had brought. "All right there, Ben?"

"Yessir," Ben gulped.

Felicity spoke quickly. "Ben was very brave, Father! He saved Mr. Bagwell's livestock!"

"And Felicity saved _me_!" Ben added just as quickly, giving her a sentimental look (which made Felicity's heart flip-flop around her ribs). "Her hand was burnt."

Mr. Merriman gingerly took her stinging hand into his own two and inspected it closely. He sighed softly. "'Tis not too bad, Lissie. Your mother makes an excellent salve that will cool this and heal it no time!"

"Aye! Grandfather taught her, no doubt." There was a happy spark in her eyes. "He knew more about herbs and medicine than any healer!"

Mr. Merriman grinned. "That he did, Miss Lissie." To Ben, he asked, "How's the cut?"

Ben touched it carefully and winced. "Hurts a little. I don't know how it happened, but it's not bad."

Mr. Bagwell smiled gratefully and looked at Mr. Merriman. "I owe these two quite a debt of gratitiude, Edward. A barn can be rebuilt. My animals...not so easily replaced. I just had gone into town for my pipe tobacco, and..." He shook his head. "Can't figure out what happened. But these two are quite a pair."

Mr. Merriman grinned wide. "They most certainly are, Peter. They most certainly are."

Felicity and Ben exchanged shy smiles.

The barn burned completely to the ground, but was at least kept from spreading by the line of men with buckets coming from the Bagwell's water trough. Mrs. Bagwell, who had returned from town with her two daughters, was saddened by the loss of their barn, but brightened quickly when Felicity reminded her that barn raisings were always excellent opportunities for people to come together and bring food and drink (and tools, Ben added), and to make a whole new barn.

Once Felicity and Ben cleaned up and came for supper, Nan, William, Rose and Mother wanted to hear all about the fire. Mrs. Merriman had put an interesting salve of green-looking goo on Felicity's palm and wrapped it securely in a wide strip of clean linen. It still stung. but not as bad as before. It was tolerable.

Ben told about freeing the goat and cows, but when he came to the part about "Lissie ran in boldly just as I was about to go unconscious," Nan clapped triumphantly. William gasped.

"Felicity Naomi Merriman!" Mother exclaimed in shock. "You could've burnt yourself to a crisp!"

"And Ben could've been as well!" Felicity reminded her.

Mr. Merriman patted his wife's hand. "All worked out well, my dear. Neither one were seriously hurt, no animals perished, and the Bagwells are planning a barn-raising in the near future...and we all know what that means!" He winked at the children.

Mrs. Merriman cast them all an amused look and said, "The first one of you lot to say _'tarts'_ gets another heaping of carrots!"

Groans sounded around the table.

Outside the Merriman home a lone figure stood, staring at the house as if fascinated by its structure. But Reginald Forsythe was not fascinated with the house itself, no, not at all. He was fascinated with the girl within, the eldest of the Merriman children. He had seen the fire and how she had rescued Ben from the burning barn. His dislike of the apprentice was reaching an all-time high. Too bad the lackwit didn't burn up in the barn, for he was beginning to become an obstruction Forsythe would not tolerate much longer.

CHAPTER 3 FINISHED


	4. Chapter 4 Bewitched

_**Felicity: An American Girl Romance Part 1 Chapter 4: Bewitched**_

"Lissie," he panted,clasping her hand. "You won't forget me, will you?"

"No, no, Ben, of course not," Felicity sobbed wretchedly as she knelt next to him on the ground where he lay. Fire burned threateningly somewhere close by. The heat of it was stifling. Orange flickering flames illuminated Ben's sweaty face and the blood that streamed from the deep dark gash on his forehead. Shouting and gunshots echoed from the darkness that lay just beyond the firelight.

"Ben, don't die, don't leave me alone," she begged, holding his hot hand to her cheek. "Don't you know that I love you?"

He was closing his eyes even as he spoke. "You must be strong, Lissie. Be a strong patriot girl..."

"Ben! NO!" Panic like mindless madness dwelt within her. She was losing him for real this time! His hand went limp in hers, and she began to shake so violently she couldn't hold on to her senses. A groan began in her chest, shaking her ribs, vibrating in her throat, barrelling up and from her mouth into a scream that rang in her ears and pierced the darkness...

"NOOOO!" And she screamed her horror into the night...

A dog was barking. Someone was grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking her, The smell of the outdooers filled her nostrils, and suddenly her screaming stopped. Her eyes fluttered open as she gasped audibly, wavering where she stood.

Outside the house.

"Lissie...Lissie, focus. Look at me." Father's voice, gentle but firm. It was he who had a grip on her shoulders, his face her blurred eyes began to recognize. His hand stroking her long loose hair back away from her face. Another soft, gentle hand upon her other shoulder was Mother's. As her vision fixed, she saw Rose beyond Father's left shoulder, holding her candle and looking worried. Standing to the right was Ben, looking equally frightened. They were all in their nightclothes.

What was going on? Why were they all outside? Why was _she _outside?

"Lissie, honey," Father said slowly and carefully to her, "are you awake now?"

She gulped and found her throat dry. "Ye-yes," she mumbled uncertainly. "Father, what happened?"

Mr. Merriman exchanged a look with his wife, who was standing behind Felicity. He looked at Felicity and said, "Do you remember coming downstairs and out the door, dearest?"

"No..." she said worriedly. Though she wasn't looking at him, she could feel Ben's gaze upon her, and, having quickly woken now, she felt embarrassed. "But...I was having another nightmare, wasn't I?"

"Aye," Father breathed, "and it seems you were..._sleepwalking, _Lissie."

"Oh no," she whispered, seeing the fear in her father's eyes. "No, how could I...down the stairs and...and out into the yard? Father, _how_?"

Mr. Merriman pulled her into his arms and hugged her hard. "I don't know, Lissie. But it happens...'tis not uncommon. Sometimes people dream, and they are so focused within their dream that...that they're just not aware..." He didn't know what else to say. Here was his eldest child, needing an answer, looking to him for help, and he couldn't provide it.

Mrs. Merriman stroked her hair soothingly. "Let us just be thankful that you did not fall or get hurt." She swallowed nervously. "the danger has passed. Let's all be calm now."

"I...I'm sorry, everyone," Felicity said to them all. Her eyes met Ben's. He was staring at her with deep concern. "Did I wake you, Ben?"

"Aye," he said, but there was no trace of anger or irritability in his voice. Only worry. "I thought something horrible had happened. When I came out of the barn I saw you standing there with your eyes closed, holding yourself and screaming. Then your mother, father, and Rose came out, and..." He trailed off. "What a horrible nightmare it must've been, Lissie."

Her father was hugging her again. She laid her cheek upon his shoulder but she was looking at Ben, thinking, _Good God, ben Davidson, if you only knew! 'Twas about you, always about you. _

Ben's expression was sympathetic. Did he feel sorry for her? she wondered. She hoped not. She wished she could tell him all that she felt, all of her worries for him, but it was probably best that she not. _He wouold think me only as a child, with a crush on him at best...no, I cannot bear to have him dismiss all that I feel for him._

Father rose, putting an arm around her shoulders. He sighed heavily. "Let's all just go back to bed now. I think-I believe, the worst is over. Like Martha said. Shall we?"

Mrs. Merriman nodded, and Father led Felicity up the porch steps following Mother. She glanced back over her shoulder and saw Ben looking at her over his as he went back to the barn.

"Mother, is Felicity bewitched?" Nan asked softly, She had been standing at the front door, watching and listening with wide eyes.

"Oh, of course not, Nan," Mrs. Merriman told her, trying not to be too amused by the serious fascination of the girl's question. She ushered Nan inside. "Your sister had a very bad dream that took her out of bed. Sometimes it happens. No one knows why, exactly, but it does. Be glad she wasn't hurt."

Nan yawned. "Well, at least she didn't kick me this time."

Once upstairs, Father turned to Felicity out in the hall. "Lissie, would you rest easier if you slept with your mother tonight? I can sleep on the sofa."

"No, Father," Felicity said quickly. "I mean, thank you, but I will be fine now. It won't happen again!" She wanted to say _I promise_, but she wasn't too sure of it herself. The thought of sleepwalking and not being aware of it was God-awful frightening.

She wasn't a child, she scolded herself mentally. She _had _to get control over these nightmares before she drove everyone crazy. And herself.

"Please, Father, I'm all right. I'm so afraid of sleepwalking that I won't want it to happen again. I'll-I'll try harder!"

"Lissie," Mr. Merriman pressed on gently, "'tis not something a body has control over. But if you were to sleep next to your mother, maybe your sleep would be undisturbed."

"Well..." Felicity sighed. She didn't want ot be treated like a child! But her mind and body were exhausted and weak, and she honestly didn't want to argue. It was late, and the thought of a sound sleep was awfully tempting. "Just for tonight, Father, okay?"

"Okay, then." Mr. Merriman nodded, satisfied. He gave her arm a gentle tug. "Lissie...is there something on your mind, something you want to talk about?" Upon seeing Felicity's confused expression, he added, "I mean, is there something worrying you so much that you feel you can't speak of it? Lissie, we love you so very much. Your mother and I will listen to anything you have to say, anytime. Please, if there's anything you want to talk to us about..."

Felicity gulped, looked nervous, and shifted her weight. "I-I'll, um, I will...think about it, Father. I really will." She gave her father the hardest hug that she could, for someone who was just shocked awake from a sleepwalking incident just minutes ago.

Mr. Merriman knew it was the best he could hope for under the circumstances. He hugged her hard, released her, and said, "Well good then. Sleep well, my sweet girl. You may even sleep in late if you feel you need to, okay?"

"Okay. Thank you, Father." Dutifully, she turned and went to her mother, who was waiting by her parents' bedchamber door with candle in hand. Nan had been put back to bed, and Polly and William were indeed sleeping like rocks. Mrs. Merriman exchanged a nod with her husband that went unnoticed by Felicity, who was too weary to notice much of anything.

In Mother and Father's bed, Felicity felt cozy and safe, but wary of the return of nightmares. Especially the kind that would make her get up and move about the house without her realizing it. _I could've fallen downstairs! _she kept repeating over and oner on her mind. _I could've done anything! Good God, what next? What is becoming of me?_ She shuddered.

As Mrs. Merriman blew out the candle and settled in next to her eldest, she aked gently, "All right, my dear?"

"I think so," Felicity replied sleepily. She absently fingered the linen wrap around the burn on her hand.

"Lissie," Mrs. Merriman began carefully, "Do you suppose being in the fire today is giving you nightmares? You were very brave, you know. Sometimes a person allows themselves to feel afraid _after_ the situation."

Felicity nodded understandingly. "I know." After a few moments she asked, "Mother,_ am_ I bewitched?"

An emotional alarm went off within Mrs. Merriman, who believed her daughter to be on the verge of opening up, but she remained calm and patient. "Of course not, Lissie. Don't let Nan bother you. Whyever should you think so?"

"Well.." No, she couldn't open up about her Ben-feelings yet. It was much too soon. Too awkward. "I'm either bewitched, or I let things _get to me, _I guess." It was the best she could do without breaking down. As much as she wanted to, she just didn't feel up to another emotion-charged situation right then.

"What kind of things, Lissie?" Mrs. Merriman faked a yawn, to appear non-pushy.

"The war, mostly. Hearing about good men dying and all." She swallowed nervously. "Many a young lady losing their fellow to war and the pox..."

Mrs. Merriman's heart skipped a beat. _Edward was right! _she thought. _But I must not push. I must not force the issue._ Softly she said, "I know you feel for the soldiers, dear, and that's noble and patriotic_._ But you _are_ still so young. It might help if you prayed for the soldiers, all right?"

Felicity nodded.

The rest of the night went without incident, although Felicity felt haunted by her worry for Ben's life. She did not sleep in, as Father told her she could, but instead rose at her usual time and took Penny for a ride, stopping for a while to let her beloved mare graze while she wrote in her journal about her sleepwalking. It helped her cope, writing. It was as though by writing she was clearing the slate for the _next _bout of agony.

She didn't expect to see Ben in the barn when she returned, but there he was, feeding Patriot and preparing to give the young colt a grooming. When he saw Felcity he smiled warmly. "Okay this morning, Lissie?" His eyes were full of concern,

_Blast! _she thought angrily. _He pities me. I cannot let him do that! 'Tis not what I want at all!_

"Just fine, thank you, Ben," she replied casually, sitting her basket down and trying to appear chipper and unaffected as she began to remove Penny's saddle.

Ben hurried over and took the saddle buckle into his own hands. "Here, let me. You go sit-"

"Ben, don't." She gripped his arm firmly and looked him square in the eye. He stopped, gulped, and looked at her. "Don't be like this. You know I'm fully capable of taking care of Penny _and_ Patriot. I had a bad night, that's all. I'm not disabled. And stop looking at me like I'm going to break like a piece of looking-glass." Then, so as to not offend him she added kindly, "I appreciate your concern, Ben, I really do, but I'm fine now. Please...let me finish with Penny." She smiled brightly for emphasis.

Eying her uncertainly, Ben straightened and Felicity resumed unfastening Penny's saddle. He watched her for a moment, then said, "I've never known anyone who sleepwalked before."

She forced a grin as she pulled the saddle off Penny's back and took it to it's stand near the stables. "Me either! 'Twas bizarre, was it not?"

He smiled sheepishly. "Aye, it was. But...what were you dreaming about that was so awful?"

She'd been prepared for that. "War," was all she said, simply. Again, it was only a half-truth.

Ben nodded understandingly. But before he could speak again, Felicity said, "But I'm determined to not let it get to me, in my sleep again, anyway. I will pray for our soldiers and do whatever I can to help." She was breathless-usually, handling Penny's saddle didn't affect her. She blamed it on lack of sleep. "Whatever that may be."

Ben strolled forward, holding Penny's reins for her. "Lissie," he began carefully, "will you be praying for me?"

_Whoosh! _Her heart jumped! But she remained calm and casual on the outside. "Of course I will, Ben," she told him (as if it were no big deal, when it actually was). "I will pray for your safety _and _your safe return. You know I will!"

He smiled at her, reached out, and picked away a strand of wayward red hair that had come down between her eyes. She felt a liitle embarrassed-whenever she went riding, her hair flew out of its pinings like it had a mind of its own. She guessed she looked rather wind-raggled all over. In fact, she was quite certain her mobcap was askew. She smiled back, dazed.  
"You're a good patriot," he told her, "for a bit of a girl."

Her shy feeling quickly turned to burning frustration. "Ben Davidson, don't you dare call me a 'bit of a girl', not now, not ever again!" She snatched the reins from his hand and took Penny to her stall to start removing the bit and bridle. Oh he sure knew how to ruin a moment, that Ben! She gritted her teeth in frustration.

Ben was clearly taken aback. He followed her to Penny's stall. "Lissie...what's wrong?"

Good Lord, he didn't even know? She spun on him, tears glistening in her eyes. "You _still _insist on treating me like a stupid little girl, don't you! Well, I'm not! At least Reginald _Forsythe _doesn't see me that way!" She strode past him boldly, bridle in hand on its way back to its hook on the wall.

It had the effect on him she was hoping for. Irritably, Ben muttered, "_Forsythe _probably sees you as old as he is!"

"But at least he knows I'm growing up, which is more than I can say for _you!" _She guided Penny into her stall and closed the door a little harder than she meant to. Poor little Patriot jumped.  
Felicity sighed. "And for a nearly eighteen year old, a lot of times you behave no older than William!" He opened his mouth, probably to protest, Felicity guessed and said quickly, "So if you ever call me a bit-of-a-girl again, so help me Ben, I'll-"

"_I'm sorry!"_ he blurted, gesturing desperately. "I'm _sorry,_ Lissie, I mean it! I _know_ you're not stupid, and you're right, you're not a little girl. I didn't think-you know how I am sometimes. I just don't think."She glared uncertainly at him, so he hastilly added, "Okay, a _lot_ of times. Please, don't be mad at me anymore."

She pursed her lips and studied him, his pleading expression. The ire he'd provoked within her had set her to breathing faster and brought a flush to her cheeks. On top of all that, she wasn't feeling too good at all right now.

"Lissie, please?"  
If she had been a boy, she would've swore. She sure felt like it. But instead she rolled her eyes and sighed again. "Oh, all right. But please, Ben, stop treating me like a child. I don't like it anymore."

He straightened, smiling. Having Felicity Merriman mad at you was _not_ bearable at all! "I promise you I will not treat you like a child anymore. And I will never, _ever_ call you a bit-of-a-girl again. I swear on my beliefs as a Patriot!"

Felicity's smile went crooked. "I guess I _have_ to believe you then, don't I?"

"Aye, you do!" He grinned broadly. "Shall we go to breakfast now?"

"Yes, I'm _starving_." They statred for the house together.

A quiet moment passed, then Ben said, "I'm really sorry, Lissie."

She nodded. "I believe you. Now let's forget about it."

"Verily!"

And just like that, the awkward feeling was gone. There was peaceful friendship between them again. But glancing at him as they went into the house, Felicity could tell he was contemplating something-he had that deep-thinking look upon his face again.

If only she could know what it was about.

-Mrs Merriman changed the bandage on Felicity's burnt hand again, and examined Ben's cut before he left for the store, and reported that both were looking much better. Everyone who came into the store wanted to hear about the fire, and the kids who saved the livestock. Ben replied he'd 'helped' the animals get out, but it was Felicity Merriman who rescued _him_. He said so with pride.

Ben had just finished relaying the story for the fifth time, and stooped to retrieve a new ink pot from beneath the counter, when he heard a now agonizingly familiar, high-pitched voice say, "Get up here, boy, I'm in need of assistence!"

_Forsythe! _Ben grimaced. Looking extremely irate, he slowly rose, working at keeping his temper in check. It required quite the effort. A quick glance around the store showed him Mr. Merriman was with a customer and chatting avidly. He heaved a stressful sigh, looked Forsythe in the beady hazel eye, and muttered, "What do you want."

The amused young man, today clad in velvety burgandy, cocked an eyebrow. "And is _that _how a shoopkeeper teaches his apprentice to greet paying customers?"

Ben glared. "You mean you're going to actually _buy _something and not wait around for Felicity to appear?"

"Well if she _did_ appear it would certainly brighten _my_ day," Forsythe snapped quickly, looking Ben up and down with sneering disapproval. He slapped his money down on the counter. "Mama wants ground cinnamon. Get it."

Ben was all too glad to get away from the bothersome fop. With his back turned several feet away, he mockingly mouthed _'Mama wants ground cinnamon"_ off and on as he reached for the big cinnamon canister. However, he was not too far from the counter to hear Mr. Merriman's amiable but not too joyful "Good day, Mr. Forsythe. What brings you by today?"

In his mind, Ben answered _Mama wants ground cinnamon and I want the girl with cinnamon-colored hair!_

_"_Mama requires cinnamon for her recipe," Forsythe replied in his English drawl. "A servant boy could've sufficed, but 'tis rather a pleasant day for being out, wouldn't you agree?"

"Oh, I do indeed, Mr. Forsythe," replied Edward Merriman, clasping his hands behind his back and smiling pleasantly.

Forsythe raised his chin. "I don't supose you have reconsidered my offer of courtship of Miss Felicity?"

Ben nearly dropped the canister as he returned to the counter. He stared in disbelief, mouth open.

"No, Mr. Forsythe," Mr. Merriman said, as if it was no big deal, "I stand firm by my word."

_Both _of Forsythe's thin black eyebrows went up. "Indeed. So tell me, Mr. Merriman, about this 'summer social' coming up. I've heard these Mitchums throw quite a bash. From what is said, sounds more like a miniatue fair!"

Mr. Merriman chuckled, nodded at Ben to go ahead and pour out Forsythe's requested can of spice, and said, "Well, it didn't start out that way. The Mitchums began by inviting all their friends and relatives to a beginning-of-summer-party in the open meadow behind their home, but being the most friendly sort, they've accumulated quite a townful of friends and acquaintances over the years, and thus what began as an innocent summer social has bloosomed into, as you put it, quite a bash, where the entire town is invited. 'Tis an informal affair, so no one has to bother with dressing up and primping. Due to the increasing amount of party-goers each year, the Mitchum family has added a wrestling match for the men, and a beauty contest for the young ladies, and-"

"_Beauty_ contest?" interrupted Forsythe with a measure of delight. He grinned, showing yellowish teeth. "Then you must be entering Miss Felicity! No doubt she'd win with _no_ problem!"

Ben was frowning furiosly.

"Well thank you for saying so," Mr. Merriman said, smiling with patience again, "but my Felicity has no interest in such things. She sees them as silly and demeaning and I rather agree."

Ben was nodding along with his master word for word. He wanted to blurt out, "She would never allow herself to be put on display like a showhorse," but managed to bite his tongue, albeit just barely.

"I see," Forsythe said simply."Most unfortunate. She is a stunning young beauty, and that will most certainly not go unnoticed. Has she an escort to this..._festivity_?"

Ben grimaced, opened his mouth to say something, but Mr. Merriman said, "No, Mr. Forsythe, an escort is unnecessary, for she will be accompanied by myself, her family, and young Ben here."

Ben smiled gloatingly and folded his arms over his chest, a gesture that all but screamed, _"Ha! So there!"_

But Forsythe took no notice of Ben or the mention of his name. He instead sighed irritably and said, "Very well, then. As my Auntie is looking forward to attending this informal gathering, with the intentions of coaxing mama out of doors, I can tell you I will, as a matter of fact, see you there."

"We shall look forward to seeing you _and _your aunt and mother," Mr. Merriman said, sounding anything rather than anticipating. The store's bell rang out. "Now if you'll excuse me, I've a customer. Good day, Mr. Forsythe." He gave a curt nod and left the two young men at the counter.

"Good day," Forsythe muttered. His eyes snapped to Ben. "Well, have you my can?"

"There." Ben jerked his head toward the door-end of the counter. As Forsythe moved to snatch it up, Ben added, "And it would be in your best interest not to bother Mr. Merriman's daughter at this social." He _had_ to say something-his nature as a hot-head insisted upon it!

"Is that so?" Forsythe hesitated, smiled crookedly. "And who are _you_, a shoopkeeper's apprentice, to give such an order? Her father? Her brother, perhaps? You're certainly not a suitor!" He laughed whimsically at such an absurd notion. His laugh was interspersed with nasal snorts. "Good Lord, what a laugh! As if a boy the likes of _you_ could gain the admiration of such an angel. You are, I dare say, most fortunate to share a home with the girl, but you obviously lack the few wits it requires to see the tremendous beauty dwelling right under your nose." He hesitated, mostly for effect, for Ben was red hot with anger and breathing fast (hidden by the counter, his fists were clenched white), then foppish Forsythe added, with a softness that was anything but heart-felt, "I almost feel sorry for you, boy. Almost...but not quite."

Smirking, Lord Forsythe left.

Despite a curious customer coming in, Ben quickly strode to the back room, kicked open the back door, and stepped out on the little porch, panting. He braced himself on the wooden railing with both hands, gripping it as if it were Forsythe's skinny neck. His thoughts were a furious jumble.

He didn't know what made him _more_ angrier-Forsythe insulting his status as an apprentice, insulting his intelligence, or...or insulting him by suggesting that he wasn't...wasn't good enough for _Felicity_.

_Not good enough for Felicity._

And why the hell in God's country _wasn't_ he good enough for Felicity Merriman? Who knew her better? Who shared her deepest secrets and dwelt with her family and knew each and every one of her quirks and habits? Right, he was as shopkeeper's apprentice, because his father and Mr. Merriman were friends, and his father set up the arrangement. He came from a wealthy family, a fact that Ben Davidson _never_ wanted to flaunt, because he wanted to be admired for being himself, or work that he did, for being a staunch Patriot, never because his family had money. _Felicity_ knew he came from a wealthy family, and she didn't care. She wouldn't care if he had come from a family of dirt famers. He knew that they'd be friends no matter what.

_Not good enough for Felicity._

_"_Ben?" Mr. Merriman stepped out on the porch, peering curiously at his stewing apprentice, who straightened immediately.

"I'm sorry, sir, I just needed a moment, I...I'm sorry," he babbled with a flush.

Mr. Merriman wasn't the least bit angry. He put a hand on Ben's shoulder. "Forsythe make you mad?"

"Aye, sir," Ben sighed, relieved. "And you've always told me to never handle a customer with anger, no matter how hot-headed _they_ are. 'Tis better to step away."

"That's right, Ben. You did well. Marcus is handling things at the moment...so tell me, what did Forsythe say to rile you?" _As if I had to ask, _Mr. Merriman thought, smiling patiently yet again.

How could he put it? Ben looked frustrated, shaking his head. "He-He's _obsessed_ with Felicity, sir," he grumbled. "The way he thinks he's superior to everybody else, and that no matter how many times you tell him _no,_ he keeps pushing. I don't think anyone in his family has ever told him 'no!'

Mr. Merriman nodded. "It seems that way, doesn't it? But I believe he'll leave Lissie alone once he gets used to the notion that she is unavailable to him." He rubbed the back of his neck tiredly. "I suppose I'll have my hands full of eager lads once she _does_ turn sixteen. But, look at me, I'm a doting father-of course I'd say that."

Ben smiled.

"All the same, don't let him get to you, Ben. Just watch out for him like you have been, okay?"

"Yes, sir." Ben's resolve became firmer than ever. As he followed Mr. Merriman back into the store, the phrase _eager_ _lads_ bothered him however. There would probably be _many_ hopeful suitors vying for Felicity's attention by then. Forsythe was already attempting to. Something within Ben Davidson burned with..._jelousy?_ Jelous of young men who would dare try to court Felicity?

Jealous of Forsythe?

It seemed so. The burning anger had a name now, and it was _jealously._ It was very consuming, too. For the rest of the day he would dwell upon it and Forsythe's taunting words. He would attempt to sort out the persistent, roiling emotions that plagued him wherever Felicity was concerned. When he went to fetch her at Mr. Haverty's, he was unusually quiet as she went on about riding Brutus and how she intended to start introducing the big horse to parts of the harness tomorrow.

But he heard none of it, really. He was too busy mulling things over in his head.

_Not good enough for Felicity._

He brooded angrily. Like hell he wasn't.

CHAPTER FINISHED


	5. Chapter 5 Being 'Social'

_**Felicity: An American Girl Romance Part 1, Chapter 5: Being Social**_

The next few days went by without incident, but Felicity still endured dreams that made her jump awake just before they could get to the point where she would've been screaming herself awake, or worse. She still felt ill off and on, and the dizzy spells lasted a bit longer than before, but she continued to keep quiet about it, confiding only in her journal.

With the summer social only a day away, she spent a lot of time helping her mother and Rose bake pies for the pie-eating contest ("Such a sad, sad sacrifice," bewailed Father!), and kept up the illusion that all was well and sound with her. Oh, she hated to lie! Her dreams, though not disturbing anyone else but herself, were no better and she had less and less energy each day. Brutus, God bless him, pushed at her with his nose one day previous, when she felt so bad that she had to sit down on the ground just to get the world to stop spinning. The big horse had developed quite an attachment to his little red-haired friend, so that he was in tune to whatever was wrong with her.

The Mitchums' 'summer social' began at one in the afternoon, and would likely go on until one in the morning, if they continued to follow tradition. It was a beautiful Saturday, cloudless and hot, but not too hot to keep away most of Williamsburg, including some of the delegates, who had tired of business in the capitol and were drawn by the result of word-of-mouth excitement.  
The Mitchums aimed to please: food was everywhere, rum flowed happily, and everyone was looking forward to sundown, when the torches would be lit and the dancing would begin. Out behind the big white Mitchum home many long tables were set up, near to overflowing with food, punch and lemonades, cakes, pies and cookies. Cheerful fiddle and fife music mingled with the sounds of laughter from children playing games and the buzz of constant voices of the adults. On the right side of the pasture, a wooden dais had been set up for the beauty contestants, and on the left side, the cleared circle for the wrestlers. Men were already gathering to make bets, much to the annoyance of their wives, and the women had gathered to start the gossiping, much to the amusement of their husbands.

The plump, jubilant Mrs. Mitchum sat at a table by the ribbon-and-flower-festooned dais, fanning herself with a great pink, lacey fan, stopping only long enough to jot down the name of a young lady who wanted to enter, or to scratch at the nape of her enormous, pink-tinted wig. Her equally ecstatic husband was taking the bets by the circle. The MItchums' grown children, which consisted of four women and two men, all with families of their own, were in charge of the food layout, rum distribution, decorations and general setup. It was a magnificent family affair!

Two girls were making their way through the gathering crowds, the eldest looking irate and harassed, trying to adjust her sun hat while pulling the younger girl along behind her. They bobbed and weaved among the people as they tried to get to Mrs. Mitchum's table.

"Come _along_, Bitsy!" Annabelle Cole urged moodily. "All participants _must _be signed up by two o'clock or they cannot enter!"

"But _Annabelle_," Elizabeth protested wearily, "you have _plenty _of time! 'Tis only one thirty! Why can't we go get something to drink first?"

"Because!" the elder Cole sister snapped back absently as they hurried. Annabelle's eyes were darting around in their sockets. "And _do _look about for Ben, will you? He must be here, somewhere! I did not wear my brightest green dress for nothing! He'll ne able to spot me easily-oh, look at all these people! Why must they group together like this? Is it not warm enough already? Why do they carry on so? What could they _possibly _have to say to one another that they haven't already said to each other _yesterday_? My word!"

Elizabeth rolled her eyes and sighed as Annabelle rattled on. No, she would not help look for Ben. Elizabeth was most certain that Ben was _not_ looking for Annabelle. And besides, Elizabeth Cole had her own friends to look for-Felicity, and..._another _certain someone.

As Annabelle panted and pushed her way up to Mrs. Mitchum's table, Elizabeth freed herself from her sister's steely grip and turned to look toward the refreshment tables. Aha! There was Felicity, in her familiar white dress with the little pink flowers all over it. Felicity was helping her mother set down pies they'd brought for the pie-eating contest. Baby Polly was in Mrs. Merriman's other arm, gurgling and clapping her chubby little hands together. Elizabeth grinned.

"Well, Annabelle, I'm off! Good luck to you," Elizabeth called over her shoulder as she started away, but Annabelle was by no means paying attention: she was too busy spelling out her name, rather loudly, so that Mrs. Mitchum would write it down correctly.

"Felicity!" Elizabeth called gleefully. Her crimson-haired friend looked around and grinned as she skipped up to the tables. "Wow! What beautiful cherry pies!"

"Thanks," Felicity laughed. "I helped Mother and Rose make them. _Father _has entered the contest so he'll feel they won't have gone to waste!"

Elizabeth giggled. "My goodness! That will be fun to watch!"

Mrs. Merriman shook her head and smiled-with a blush in her cheeks, the girls noticed. "I swear, the way to that man's heart is through his stomach!" Tickled giggles came from the two girls. "I suppose you two want to stroll about and look for your friends?"

"Yes ma'am!" Felicity and Elizabeth said together.

"Well, go on then, but don't wander too far away!"

The two girls began a leisurely walk about the pasture, looking around to see who they could recognize. "Where is the rest of your family and Ben?" Elizabeth asked.

"Father, William, and Ben are with the men at the wrestling circle, and Nan wanted to stay indoors with the other children and play with dolls in the Mitchums' parlor." Felicity hesitated, then asked, "I assume Annabelle is signing up for the beauty contest?"

"Yes," Elizabeth replied tiredly. "It's been all she has tallked about for _days-_ that and Ben coming to cheer for her." Seeing Felicity scowl, she quickly changed the subject. "Oh, look, there's Ms. Manderly!"

The girls waved to their teacher, and Felicity noticed Elizabeth looking around anxiously, the same way she did the day they went by Pratt's Jewlry Shop. "Elizabeth Cole, you simply _must _tell me who you're looking for!" Felicity grinned. "If you tell me, maybe I can help you!"

"Oh, Felicity!" Elizabeth exclaimed with a mix of frustration and excitement. "If I tell you, will you promise not to laugh?"

"Sure, Elizabeth, I-"

"I mean you must swear on your _life _you will not laugh!" Elizabeth blurted.

"Okay, Elizabeth, I-"

"Swear upon our friendship, Felicity!" Elizabeth nearly whimpered. "You must swear it!"

Felicity saw the nervousness in her friend's blue eyes, and her smile faded. Whatever this secret was, it was an awfully big one by Elizabeth's standards. Felicity grew serious and took her friend's arm in the crook of her own. "Upon our friendship, Elizabeth, I swear it. You know I will keep my word. You can tell me anything, like always."

Relieved, but not completely assured they were safe from nearby ears, Elizabeth pulled Felicity to the edge of the pasture by the trunk of a large tree and cast the party a suspicious look. Then she glanced about in the woods on their other side.

"Nobody's in there, Elizabeth," Felicity soothed gently, patting the girl's arm. "Now please tell me."

"Well...okay." Elizabeth swallowed hard and looked Felicity in the eayes. Felicity Merriman's serious, attentive expression gave her the last bit of bravery she needed to dispel her secret. "It happened while you were away at your Grandfather's plantation. A new family moved into town, from England-the Pratts-they settled in, and of course, everyone's excited to have a new jewelry shop in town..."

Felicity nodded.

"Well, Mama heard that Mrs. Pratt had taken a sore throat, so she sent me with fresh flowers and hot broth, you know, to be neighborly and all, and ask if we could be of assistence. So I was on my way into the shop-its also their home, you see-and I was going in, well..." She hesitated, uncertain.

"Do go on," Felicity encouraged gently.

"Well...Mr. Pratt's son...his _son_, you see..." She gulped, took a deep breath, and said again, "Well, his son...his son was coming out of the store, and, well, we..." She hesitated again.

"Ran into each other?" Felicity asked, mystified.

"Aye! We ran into each other!" Elizabeth exhaled deeply. "And I spilled my basket of flowers."

"_And_ your broth for Mrs. Pratt?"

Elizabeth shook her head quickly. "Nay, nay, not my broth! Just the flower basket. But Mr. Pratt's son-Ar-Ar-Arthur," she stammered nervously, "he helped me pick them up. Then we just stood there, looking at each other..."

And then it hit Felicity, like a joyous slap in the face. Like a ray of sunshine emerging from behind a dark cloud. _Elizabeth has found a boy to fancy! The jeweler's son!_ As a wide, beaming smile crossed Felicity's face Elizabeth blushed profusely and poked at a tree root with the toe of her lavender shoe. But Felicity did not laugh. Nor did she have anything funny to say. She had suddenly thought of Ben, and the joy that sprung to life in her heart when she realized that she loved him. Was that what her friend was experiencing now for Arthur Pratt?

Elizabeth glanced at Felicity, and was surprised to see tears glistening in the redhead's eyes. "Lissie," she began in awe, "why are you-do you know...do you know what it is I'm trying to tell you?"

"Aye," Felicity sniffed, smiling sentimentally at her. She clasped Elizabeth's hands happily. "So tell me, what is this _Arthur Pratt _like?"

Elizabeth breathed a sigh of relief. Then she smiled blissfully and her blue eyes sparkled. "Oh, Lissie, he is a most _handsome _boy! His eyes are blue like mine, and his hair is a deep gold, and wavy, too-oh, I have never _seen _such hair! He has freckles and very nice teeth, and he's of excellent stature, well-mannered and shy, and he called me _Miss Elizabeth! _Imagine that, Lissie! A boy, calling _me _Miss Elizabeth!"

"Well, 'tis your name!" Felicity exclaimed, grinning.

"Ah, yes, but 'tis like I've never heard it spoken until _he _said it!" Elizabeth sighed dreamily.

"What happened when he helped you pick up your flower basket?" Felicity wanted to know.

"Well," Elizabeth began, more confidently now that the initial shock was over, "he began appologizing all over himself and stuttering, and I was nervous too, and we kept raching for the same flower stems and touching hands, and I told him I was Elizabeth Cole, daughter of Simon Cole from London, and he said he was from Surrey, and we both just started babbling like ninnies! I told him I was sent by my mama, and he was _ecstatic! _I do believe he did a little jump of joy!"

Felicity tried to imagine such a boy doing such a thing, and found that she couldn't without lapsing into hysterical laughter, so out of respect for her friend's newfound happiness, she forced a sweet smile and replied, "Does he like you as well?"

"Oh, Lissie, I hope so! He is polite and amiable, and he has _such _wit and humor! He invited me in to his father's shop that day and showed me all the womderful, beautiful things his father makes! He is his father's own apprentice, and he's proud of it-but he wants to attend Willioam and Mary, so that he can learn all that his brain can hold-that's what he said, Lissie, he said 'I want to learn as much as my brain can hold.' And then he introduced me to his mama, who said that I was as pretty as a spring daffodil and even nicer than one, and I turned red, and Arthur Pratt turned red, and so there we all were in Mrs. Pratt's sitting room, the three of us, with yellow hair and red faces!" She gasped for breath, her steady stream of babble had nearly taken it all.

Felicity was grinning from ear to ear, as she watched Elizabeth pant, and asked, "Arthur Pratt's mother has blond hair, too?"

"Aye!" Elizabeth answered promptly. "They are all so devastatingly blonde and fair-skinned! Mrs. Pratt showed me the painting in her sitting room of her three daughters, all of whom are older than Arthur, but they are very much blonde, blonde like sunflowers, and their names are Lillie, Millie, and Hilie-with Millie being short for Millicent, Hillie being short for Hillary, but Lillie isn't short for anything-" (Felicity was giggling uncontrollably as a flushed Elizabeth excitedly carried on) "-unless Mrs. Pratt forgot to mention it, for she was ever so thrilled to have a caller-"

"Elizabeth!" Felicity interrupted, laughing. "Do take a breath, won't you?"

Elizabeth's blue eyes were simply dancing. She inhaled deeply, exhaled slowly, as Felicity watched encouragingly, and asked, "I'm going on like a ninny, aren't I?"

"No! No, of course not!" Felicity took hold of her friend's shoulders, smiling. "I am _so _thrilled that you're happy-that you've met such a fine boy and his mama and that they like you so! But why did you become so shy in front of the Pratt's store that day you took me?"

Elizabeth leaned forward, glancing toward Mrs. Mitchum's table by the dais, and replied in a serious voice, "Because I do _not _want to be like Annabelle. You know? Going into a shop to pretend to be looking for things to buy just to see a boy, becoming giggly and silly-like. I don't want to become that!"

Felicity nodded vigorously, understanding completely. "But if he likes you, then there's no harm in going in just to say hello and ask about his mother's health."

"I've done that," Elizabeth confessed happily. "And I haven't seen Arthur since." Then she frowned. "I do not want to make a nuisance of myself the way Annabelle does with Ben. And even if I _did _have the nerve to pretend to be shopping for something. 'Tis a jewelry shop! What need have I for any of that? I wouldn't want Arthur to think of me as a nincompoop." She shook her head.

"You are _no _nincompoop!" Felicity stated firmly, "And you are _not _Annabelle! In your honest, heart-felt opinion, Elizabeth, does this Arthur Pratt really seem to like you?"

Elizabeth gulped again, looking uncertain. "Um...I-I-I think so-I mean, I don't want to be vain or presumptuous-" (_like Bananabelle,_ Felicity thought) "-but I think I should say I hope so." She nodded quickly. "Aye, I hope so!"

"Then let's find out!" Felicity decided. When Elizabeth looked awe-struck, Felicity said bravely, "If he's here, you can introduce me to him, and I'll say I wanted to welcome him and his family to Williamsburg. Which would be the kindly thing to do, anyway, would it not?"

Elizabeth brightened and grinned. "Why, of course! 'Tis the proper thing to do, being nieghborly and all!"

Felicity beamed, and the two girls linked arms. "Now, Miss Cole, do you see our Mr. Pratt about anywhere?"

"Not as yet." Elizabeth squinted fixedly in the bright afternoon sun at the crowds of people before them. She looked for golden wavy hair and a fresh freckly-face, and..."There! There he is, Lissie! At the lemonade table!"

"Then shall we, Miss Cole?"

"Let's, Miss Merriman!"

Arm-in-arm, the two giggling girls started toward the lemonade table with confidence in their strides. With Felicity by her side, Elizabeth felt like the bravest, most cheerful girl in Williamsburg. Her heart was all a-thump in her chest, and despite the summer heat, she had chills of excitement running through her.

Standing alone at the lemonade stand was a tall, skinny boy with a head of gold wavy hair pulled back in a nice, neat queue. He wore all brown and held his tricorn hat in one hand, tin cup of lemonade in the other. He smiled and nodded to any manner of lady that strolled by, young or old, as he slowly, absently rocked upon his heels with the joyful fife music. He too seemed to be..._looking for someone._

As they approached, Felicity judged he was older than she and Elizabeth, but younger than Ben-fourteen or fifteen, perhaps. He had a skinny nose and a pleasant face, rounded cheeks-the kind of cheeks accustomed to much smiling and laughter, Felicity assumed-and though he wasn't strikingly handsome _( like Ben!)_ his air of friendliness made him a nice-looking fellow.

Elizabeth's wide smile and even wider eyes told Felicity that her dear friend thought that Arthur Pratt was the most beautiful boy in the world.

As Arthur Pratt raised his cup for a drink, Felicity cleared her throat quite loudly, surprising the poor lad so much that he jumped, sloshing his lemonade about so that some of it splattered upon the ground. His eyebrows jumped up above his startled blue eyes.

"Miss Elizabeth!" he exclaimed in a voice that gave Felicity the instant impression that this was a fellow that rarely, if ever, got cross or did much yelling. He was at once likeable, with his sudden blush, gushing grin, and sparkling blue eyes that locked onto Elizabeth with great enthusiasm.

Elizabeth chuckled softly. "Good-day, Arthur."

"G-Good-day, Miss Elizabeth!" Arthur Pratt sputtered happily. "What brings you here?"

Elizabeth smiled shyly. "Well, being that it's a social..."

"Oh yes! Of course!" He blushed deeply. "This _is_ a social, isn't it?" His English accent was crisp and cheerful. They both laughed nervously, and Arthur said, "And here we are, Miss Elizabeth, being social!"

Felicity's eyes had been going from Elizabeth to Arthur and back. It was all too clear that there were sparks of fancy between them-in their voices, their expressions, their shy, nervous behavior. Felicity's heart leapt for joy for Elizabeth. Grinning approvingly, she cleared her throat again, this time gently.

Both Elizabeth and Arthur jumped and looked at Felicity. "Oh! Oh my," Elizabeth said, embarrassed. "Arthur, this is my very best friend, Felicity Merriman, the girl I told you and your mother about. Felicity, this is Arthur Pratt, the son of Mr. Pratt, who owns the jewelry shop."

"'Tis nice to meet you!" Felicity exclaimed as she and Arthur shook hands.

"And 'tis nice to meet _you_ as_ well,_ Miss Felicity Merriman!" Arthur beamed happliy. "Do tell me, Miss Felicity, are you as merry as your name suggests?"

"I am indeed!" Felicity replied but thought, _though not of late._

Arthur's grin showed good teeth. "Then we shall be the best of friends as well! Any friend of Miss Elizabeth shall be a good friend of mine!"

The girls were delighted.

"Felicity's father owns Merriman's store," Elizabeth continued, looking for something to talk about rather than just stand there blushing uncontrollably. "'Tis the best goods store in all of Williamsburg!"

"Oh Elizabeth," Felicity snickered bashfully. "But you are indeed correct!"

"Felicity's father is a Patriot and her dear grandfather was a Loyalist," Elizabeth continued hyperactively."Her family is good friends with my family and always will be!"

"I say!" declared Arthur, looking impressed at the girls. "If ever there existed such a bond of friendship betwixt two fine families, then perhaps _my _family should get in on this as well!"

Felicity cackled. Elizabeth giggled.

"My family is neither Patriot or Loyalist," he told them. "After such a long journey oversea, and then setting up our home here, I must confess that the only party we are cleaving to is that of the Exhausted!"

Both girls laughed with much gusto, much to Arthur's enjoyment. "Forgive my manners, ladies," he said. "May I procure you each an ade of lemon?"

Felicity and Elizabeth exchanged a startled, amused look.

"'Tis the most _delicious _drink I've ever had!" He smacked his lips after a sip from his tin cup. "Absolutely _divine_!"

"Um, you've never had lemonade before, Arthur?" Felicity asked.

"Nay, I have not!" He looked bewildered. "Does that make me odd?"

Elizabeth boldly patted his arm. "Of course not, Arthur! We-We're just delighted that you've discovered how tasty it is!"

Arthur's head wobbled in relief. "Oh, goodness, that's a relief! I would not wish for you to think me daft, Miss Elizabeth, for 'twas my determination upon arriving here in this fine town that I would not begin life anew as a witless ass!"

The girls errupted in uncontrollable giggles and Arthur Pratt laughed along with them. It seemed to Felicity that the boy was a kindred spirit in wit and humor. He would definately make a good match for Elizabeth, she thought. The dear boy couldn't take his eyes off of her!

"Miss Elizabeth," Arthur began timidly, "'tis my understanding that there is to be dancing later this evening, after the other amusements are finished. Might I, perhaps, maybe, ask you to, um, _join me_? Well, actually, I am not above begging-"

"Yes!" Elizabeth blurted happily.

"Yes?" Arthur repeated just as happily, shifting his weight about in his nervous excitement. "Oh yes! Yes, that wouold be lovely! Excellent!" He drank from his cup, became strangled while trying to smile at the same time, and proceeded to cough and hack uncontrollably.

"All right there, Arthur?" Felicity grinned as both she and Elizabeth thumped him on the back. They exchanged giddy grins, Elizabeth turning red and Felicity nodding her approval. Elizabeth was glad.

"Felicity!" a voice called out, and suddenly Ben was there. With him was Walter Wheaton, an apprentice friend of Ben's Felicity had met earlier in the spring. Ben was giving Arthur a befuddled look, as Arthur had not yet quit hacking.

"Your father wanted me to check on you," Ben told her, as he watched Arthur gasp for breath. "All right there, um...?"

"Ar-Ar-Arthur P-Pratt," Arthur coughed, extending a free hand, which Ben could not quite catch for Arthur's flailing hacks. Eventually Ben grabbed it and gave it a firm shake. Beside Ben, Walter grinned.

"Yes, this is Arthur Pratt," Felicity said to Ben and Walter. "He's a new friend of Elizabeth's. His father is the owner of Pratt's Jewelry Shop on Queen Street."

Arthur finally calmed down. "Forgive me," he croaked. "It would seem that being in the company of such lovely ladies has rendered me unable to function properly!" But he was looking at Elizabeth when he said it.

Elizabeth smiled shyly.

"Arthur, this is Ben Davidson, my father's apprentice, and this is his friend, Walter Wheaton," Felicity said.

"Ever so nice to meet you both," Arthur said cheerfully, shaking Walter's hand. And upon seeing what solid, handsome young men Ben and Walter were, Athur straightened himself promptly, hoping he too would seem older and smarter (to impress the pretty blond girl from London!)

Felicity turned to Ben. "What do you mean, father sent you to check on me? He needn't have! I'm perfectly fine, as you can see!"

Ben took her closest arm and pulled her aside. "I know you are, Lissie, it's just that there may or may not be a certain _someone_ lurking around that you father doesn't approve of!"

As Walter, Arthur, and Elizabeth chatted on, Felicity lowered her voice. "You mean Forsythe, don't you? Is he here?" Her eyes darted around nervously.

"No, not that we could see," Ben replied warningly, "but he will be, I'm sure of it, and when he does get here he will no doubt be looking for _you_!" He looked at her closely. "Are you okay, Lissie? You look a little..._off_."

_Off? _He had no idea! The light-headedness was coming back. Felicity shrugged, put on her best _whatever do you mean? _air and said, "Why, I'm fine! In fact, if Forsythe does arrive, I shall be perfectly fine and safe with Elizabeth and Arthur. There's no need for you to have to watch over me when you should be off having fun on your own! 'Tis a party!"

Ben frowned. "Lissie, first of all, I do whatever your father tells me to do, and second of all, I don't like the guy's intentions, myself."

Felicity sighed hopelessly.

Ben still stared at her. "_Are _you feeling well?"

" _Yes_, already!" Felicity lied. "Ever since the night I was sleepwalking you've-"

"Sleepwalking?" Elizabeth interrupted with wide eyes. She stepped past Arthur and took hold of Felicity's arm. "There was a night that you walked in your sleep? Lissie, why didn't you tell me?"

Felicity went red. "It only happened once, and I didn't want to call attention to it."

"_I _knew a chappie who slept-walked once," Arthur told them all. "Back in Surrey. He dreamed he was on his way to the privvy, but when he woke he found himself out in the barn yard, ankle-deep in piggy poo-"

"_Ben_!" shouted a girl's voice. As Elizabeth shook her head, a gang of people parted ways to make room for the bustling Annabelle Cole, who was headed straight for Ben, who gulped and looked somewhat embarrassed as she strode right up to him and squeaked, "There you are! I _knew _you'd come to cheer me on! The contest starts in just a few minutes, so I have to go take my place in line, But you can stand right over there where you can see me quite easily. Do hurry!" And with that, she trotted off, back toward the dais.

Ben was as red as a beet and utterly dazed. Walter was snickering and snorting. Arthur was looking confused but amused, and Elizabeth had her head down shaking it. Felicity was glaring daggers at Annabelle's back.

"Well, Ben," Walter began with mock advice, "best be getting on over there to cheer on your girl!" He clapped Ben on the shoulder. "Wouldn't want to make her mad, now would you?"

As Felicity folded her arms and turned away, Ben jerked free from Walter and muttered, "Annabelle Cole is _not _my girl."

Arthur turned to Elizabeth. "That was your Annabelle?"

"Aye," Elizabeth muttered in her embarrassment. "I'll explain later, Arthur."

"You'd better go, Ben," Felicity said darkly. "Annabelle is going to need all the support she can get." She looked at Arthur and forced a kind smile. "So nice to meet you, Arthur, I hope you will bring Elizabeth over to my mother's table, I know Mother would like to meet you, too. And you as well, Walter."

"Sure! Thanks, Felicity!" Walter told her, as the suddenly moody redhead spun and walked away. Ben stared after her, confused and still embarrassed at being approached by Elizabeth's strange sister.

"Hey!" Walter exclaimed. "There are the guys who are going to wrestle! It's about time for them to start, too." He glanced at Ben. "Are you coming, or are you going to go watch sweet Annabelle?"

"Oh shut up," Ben growled, still staring after Felicity. Then he shrugged. "What do _you _want to do, watch the wrestlers or the girls?"

Walter grinned. "I'd like to watch the girls, but I've placed a bet on Big Samuel Higgins, that black-haired fellow from Richmond."

"Me too!" Ben said, finally grinning. "Let's get over there, then." He nodded at Arthur and Elizabeth. "Nice to meet you Arthur." But as the two boys started off, Ben kept looking back over his shoulder at Felicity, feeling he'd offended her somehow and couldn't figure it out.

Arthur had dipped Elizabeth a cup of lemonade from the big bowl and handed it to her. "Nice young fellows, are they not?"

Elizabeth nodded, but her face expressed concern for her troubled friend.

"So tell me, Miss Elizabeth-who _does _young Ben Davidson fancy? Your sister or your dear Felicity?"

"Not Annabelle," Elizabeth replied, looking for Felicity at the refreshment tables. "But I don't know if he fancies Felicity, either. It would be absolutely wonderful if he did." She smiled, thinking how Arthur had called Ben 'young Ben' when Arthur himself was just a few years younger than the apprentice. In all the conversing, she'd forgotten her shyness, also. She felt she had Felicity to thank for that.

"Would _you_ like to watch the wrestling as well?" she asked him pleasantly. "Or the _girls_?"

Arthur smiled happily. "Well, I am not much for the sport of wrestling, and I _do _believe the prettiest girl is, as a matter of fact, _not _among those in the contest, so-" He offered Elizabeth his arm "-might we take a stroll, Miss Cole? Oh, did you hear that? A rhyme!"

Blushing, gushing, and giggling, Elizabeth took his arm and said, "Why, Mr. Pratt, I'd be delighted!"

CHAPTER 5 FINISHED


	6. Chapter 6 Everyone Dances

_**Felicity: An American Girl Romance, Pt.1, CHAPTER 6: Everyone Dances**_  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is a work of pure fiction, purely for the enjoyment of fans and myself. No profit is made!

Felicity was fuming. As she sat at the table for the pie-eating contest, holding baby Polly in her arms, she was hating Annabelle Cole for having the gall to go right up to Ben and speak to him that way. She watched the beauty contest from where she sat, watched each of the fifteen lovely young ladies come up on the dais and turn about, showing off their beautiful gowns before prancing back down. The girl who recieved the most cheers and claps would be the winner.

Hardly a soul cheered for Annabelle. Felicity smirked.

The winner was a young lady whom Felicity recognized as being Maria Kay, who wore a striking deep purple gown with white lace trimmings. Miss Kay graciously accepted the beautiful new hat from Mrs. Mitchum and the crowd clapped approvingly. Annabelle stood off to the side, arms folded over her chest tightly, looking murderous.

"If you ask me," drawled a high voice from behind Felicity, "the wrong girl won."

Felicity jumped in her seat, whipped her head around, and saw Reginald Forsythe standing there. He was clad in royal blue from head to foot, and peering down his nose at her with his small hazel eyes.

"Uh, Mr. Forsythe, you startled me!" She adjusted little Polly upon her lap.

"My, what a beautiful baby," Forsythe murmured, kneeling down by her seat. Felictity felt uncomfortable, but remained where she was as the young man held out a finger for Polly to grasp. He smiled crookedly.

"This is my baby sister, Polly," Felicity said, for lack of anything else to say.

"Oh, indeed, Miss Felicity. She has the same mesmerizing eyes as you. She will no doubt grow to be a stunning beauty as yourself as well." His eyes met Felicity's and he rose, unblinking. "How is it you've come to be sitting here all by yourself?"

Felicity gulped, feeling nervous for reasons she couldn't figure out, and said, "Oh, I'm not alone, Mr. Forsythe! My mother is but a couple of tables away there-see? She's the one speaking to Mrs. Tutley-"

"Mmm, yes, so I see." Glancing around, he also saw that _Mr._ Merriman and his annoying apprentice were not too far away, either, at the wrestling circle. He'd have to wait for now. He looked down at Felicity. "'Tis my understanding that there will be dancing later?"

"Um...yes. There will be. Nothing fancy, of course, just jigs and reels and the like."

Forsythe cocked an eyebrow. "Jigs and reels? How quaint." He kneeled beside her again, paused to listen to Polly's senseless babble, then asked, "I beg you, my dear Miss Felcity, will you allow me a dance before this night is over?"

Felicity's mouth dropped open, but she couldn't speak. She found that her mouth had gone quite dry. Forsythe continued to stare at her, waiting for a reply, his eyes unblinking, which made her squirm uneasily. Even little Polly had gone suddenly quiet. Felicity blinked uncertainly, not knowing what to say. _'Twould be impolite to refuse!_ she thought hastily. _But what can I do? He IS Lady Templeton's nephew-'tis not as if he were a bully or a brute. Oh, dear..._

"I'll agree to that," Felicity finally answered with forced cheerfulness, smiling a little.

"Do I have your promise, Miss Felicity?"

"Well, I-uh, I-yes, I promise." Right then she would've said anything to get him to stop staring at her so! Did he ever blink?

"Excellent!" Forsythe exclaimed, rising once more. "Nothing would make me a happier lad. Later then, my dear?"

_'My dear?'_ Felicity felt a tremor of nervousness run through her, but she gave a curt nod and replied, "Well, later then indeed."

Forsythe paused to caress Polly's soft little cheek, smiled his crooked smile, and said in a near-whisper "Most excellent, Felicity." He moved away, albeit slowly, and Felicity could still feel his eyes upon her. It completely gave her the creeps. Why on Earth would the boy-lord be interested in _her_? Couldn't he find anyone his _own_ age?

_But_ _Ben is his age, and I wouldn't want Ben to find someone his own age to be interested in-or any other girl of any age, either! Why can't Ben be interested in me the way Forsythe is?_ Felicity sighed helplessly and looked down at Polly. "Why are boys so much trouble?"

"_Gaaaaahhh!" _said Polly, clapping her hands.

"You couldn't have said it any better, Polly," Felicity agreed.

During the rest of the afternoon, games were played with both children and adults. The elder folk sat around in the shades of trees and talked about the war and of 'old times.' Mr. and Mrs. Merriman enjoyed meeting the gleeful Arthur Pratt, who thoroughly enjoyed meeting everyone, and kept Elizabeth by his side. Felicity had never seen Elizabeth smile so continuously. When he asked to hold Polly and Mrs. Merriman consented happily, Polly spit up on his shoulder, and the humorous young man merely grinned and exclaimed, "Alas, here is one young lady resistant to my charms!" Mrs. Merriman cleaned him up and Arthur wasn't the least bit bothered by it at all.

Ben came and went, with and without Walter, but never far from the eyes of Annabelle Cole, who must've seen that the best way to gain his attention was to stay near the Merriman's table, where he came to drink and eat off and on. She didn't seem to be the least bit disuaded by the fact that he didn't come to cheer for her at the beauty contest. It seemed to Felicity that she was busy thinking up a new plan instead.

Felicity herself was never out of the sights of Reginald Forsythe, who lingered nearby with his Aunt Lady Templeton and his morbidly oblivious mama, who remained seated, fanning herself and looking lost and forlorn. She was a skinny, bony woman, probably having become that way after the death of her husband, and Felicity felt bad for her, wanted to go offer some words of comfort and sympathy, but the fact that Forsythe was _always _staring at her each and every time she glanced over kept her from doing so.

At seven o'clock sharp, the torches were lit and the dancing began, with the music of fifes, fiddles, guitars and mouth-organs. Felicity was burdonsomely reminded that she had promised Forsythe a dance later, or whenever, and she had _not _told anyone about it. Not Elizabeth, Mother, or Ben. Ben kept looking at her, expecting her to say something, but she didn't. She was still miffed at him for allowing Annabelle to flirt with him.

Ben Davidson was standing at the Merriman's table with Felicity, Arthur and Elizabeth, trying to get to ask Felicity why she'd gone so quiet (Elizabeth and that new fellow of hers _did_ chatter on constantly!), when Annabelle was there, tugging at Ben's arm with a merriment that seemed more aggressive than merry, saying quite aloud, "Come along, Ben, will you not enjoy this dance with me?"  
"Well, I, um, I don't dance-"

"Oh, la, everyone dances! Come _on_!" And she hauled him, stumbling and stuttering, into the midst of the dancing circle, leaving an astonished Elizabeth standing with a confused Arthur, and an enraged Felicity.

Elizabeth immediately turned to her friend. "Oh Lissie, I'm so sorry! I can't believe Annabelle just did that! And where she learned to do a jig or a reel I'll never know! She's always going on about how a proper lady should behave, and then she goes and does something rude like that! I'm _ever_ so sorry, Lissie!"

"Don't be," Felicity growled through clenched teeth. "'Tis not your fault, Elizabeth." She forced a thin smile. "Why don't the two of you go and enjoy the music."

Athur looked at Elizabeth enthusiastically. "Shall we, Miss Cole?"

Elizabeth hesitated, looking at Felicity uncertainly. Felicity was nodding urgently, so she took Arthur's offered arm and said "Okay, then, we shall." To Felicity, she said, "But we'll be right back, Lissie."

"No need to hurry on my account. You two should be enjoying yourselves. 'Tis a party!" As they went to join the dancing, Felicity wondered how many more times she'd have to say that this evening. She instantly felt alone and forgotten, seeing her mother and father dancing, as Mother's friend Mrs. Tutley held baby Polly and stood beside William, who watched the swishing skirts and lively steps with great fascination. Felicity caught sight of Annabelle leading an embarrassed-looking Ben in the dance, and turned away.

_He could break away from her...if he wanted to, _she thought bitterly. She put a hand to her forehead and sighed against the great weariness gnawing at her body as she began strolling away alone, away from the table...and right smack into someone who had obviously been standing close.

"Why, Felicity!" declared Reginald Forsythe, as she jumped in surprise, "here you are again, all by your lonesome! Are you feeling well?'"

"Oh yes, I'm well, I was just-"

" Excellent, then let us walk." Forsythe took her closest arm.

"But I-"  
"A stroll will do you good," Forsythe continued, tucking her hand companionably and firmly under his arm, leading her away from the crowd. "And we can chat and become better acquainted, as we should have already been! Now, my dear, tell me-have you any other lads seeking your father's approval for courtship?"

"N-No, I haven't. I'm only eleven." She looked back over her shoulder. No one seemed to have noticed who she was with and that she was being led away, to the outer edge of the pasture.

"Ah yes, so you are! But for a girl so young you seem most mature!"

"I-I _do_?" Felicity was shocked.

"Why, yes!" Forsythe had a firm grip on her hand. "In these trying times children are having to grow up ever so fast and take on grown up responsibilities before they've even reached the age of fifteen! I myself am just shy of eighteen and I am already having to get used to being addressed as 'your Lordship' and 'Lord'." He sighed, as if this last statement was some magnificent burden. He was hoping to impress his angel. "You are no child, Miss Merriman. You are, I dare say, a most incredible young woman."

Oddly, Felicity's nervousness was replaced by a sense of bonding, on the subject of her maturity as she saw it, and she replied, "I am _definately not a_ child, Mr. Forsythe, thank you for saying...but yet I am not old enough to be courted."

"Do you _wish_ to be courted?"

It was an unexpected question, and Felicity felt thrust into an awkward position. She felt small instantly and humble under Forsythe's intense, penetrating stare. Yet again, he was expecting an answer. Her mind said '_No, I do not,'_ and her heart screamed '_Yes! But only by ben Davidson!'_ But so as to not offend the seemingly sensitive Forsythe she finally said aloud "Not as of yet."  
Forsythe smiled and gave her captured hand a squeeze. "Perhaps you soon will. Now, Miss Felicity, what think you of _angels_?"

"Angels?" Felicity was puzzled, not just because of the unexpected switch in topics, but because of the topic itself. "What do you mean?"

"Oh, you know. _Angels_, as in from heaven!" He sounded most enthusiastic. "So you believe that they exist?"

"Oh, sure," Felicity replied casually. "I read about them in the Good Book, so I believe they do exist. Maybe not where we can see them, or not recognize them as such, though. Why do you ask?"

Forsythe smiled wide, and his small hazel eyes glittered. "Because I am _fascinated_ by them, Felicity. I believe they help guide us toward our destinations in life. Do you not believe so as well?"

"Um...I suppose so..."

"Of couse they do. When I was a child, my governess, Miss Lucille, taught me all about them. Some of us human beings are destined to _become_ angels. My Miss Lucille was like an angel herself, with her eyes like fine emeralds and her hair as red as a fiery sunset-like _your_ hair, Miss Felicity. She was my constant companion and my very best friend. I was quite distrought at her passing."

Felicity's curiosity was finally piqued. "What happened to her, if I may ask?"

"You certainly may ask of me anything. It was quite horrible, really." He paused. "She fell-downstairs. At my home in Bristol. Her neck snapped."

"Oh my goodness!" Felicity exclaimed. "How horrible! How old were you then?"

Forsythe was tickled that his angel was taking interest! "I was a mere lad of seven. I had already become depressed that she was leaving us to marry some chap from London, but to witness her death in such a violent manner..." He shook his head. "'Twas like an angel falling from heaven."

Felicity felt a rush of sympathy for the odd young lord. "I'm ever so sorry, Mr. Forsythe." She bit her bottom lip. "How come her to fall?"

"'Twas sad, Miss Felicity, truly sad. She had been crying, for it was her very last day with us. She emerged from her quarters in tears with her bag and hat, and she was in a hurry. I ran from my bed chamber to beg her to stay, and the next thing I knew, she was at the top of the stairs, turning toward me, her eyes blurred with tears, and..."

"She fell," Felicity finished for him, and he nodded somberly. "How horrible indeed! You must've been absolutely devastated, Reggie!"

She had used his short name without realizing it!

Applying fierce control to conceal his excitement, he replied, "I was indeed, sweet Felicity. I had lost my best friend, my guardian, my-"

"_Angel_," Felicity finished for him again. So that's why the fixation!

"Truly," he agreed. Then he sighed longingly. "Oh, ever since then I've imagined her in heaven, where All Good Things dwell, and there is no pain and hardship, watching over me."

Felicity smiled. "That's nice."

"I'm touched you think so." He stopped strolling, stopping Felicity as well, and turned to her. He clasped the hand of hers that he had kept under his arm. "Dear, beautiful Felicity, I've a wonderous painting at my auntie's estate that I've brought over from Bristol. 'Tis alive with color and imagination and such beauty that it takes my breath from me every time I look upon it. 'Tis such a striking work of art that it near brings me to tears! I would love for you to come pay it a visit! I would love to have your thoughts on it and your impressions. Pray, would you?"

The thought of a painting so alluring that it could bring a person to tears intrigued Felicity Merriman very much. She had never had much exposure to art, other than drawing lessons with Ms. Manderly, and some portraits in Grandfather's library at the plantation. She was sorely tempted to see this painting, if for no other reason than to experience a real work of art. And the painting _was _at Lady Templeton's fine home...what could be the harm in it?

She gave Reginald Forsythe the first genuine smile since they had first met. "Aye, I would like that very much, but my father-"

"FORSYTHE!" an angry male voice hollored, making the two jump. It was Ben, striding toward them with his face a mask of fury, clenched teeth, and upon reaching them, snatched Felicity's hand away from the boy-lord and said loudly, "I told you days ago to leave her alone!"

"Oh look, dear Felicity," Forsythe drawled, "'tis your father's apprentice, come to rescue you from my evil clutches. I do believe I would cower in fear if I were not about to howl with laughter." He sneered.

Ben pulled Felicity away, leaned toward Forsythe and said gruffly, "You are _not _to get near her any more, understand? Her father forbids it, and I will _see to it_!"

"He wasn't doing anything wrong, Ben," Felicity said quietly. "We were just talking."

But Ben didn't seem to hear her. he was pulling her away from Forsythe, back into full veiw of the torches, where Elizabeth and Arthur had been watching by the refreshment tables. With them was a curious Walter Wheaton.

"Felicity, did he try anything with you?" Ben asked fiercely, turning her around to face him.

Irritably, she yanked her arm free from his grip and said intensely, "NO! All we were doing was _talking_!"

"That's more than enough!" Ben shot back. "Neither your father or I trust him alone with you!"

"Why?" she demanded challengingly, oblivious to the onlookers near by. "Are you afraid he might talk me to death, or, God forbid, treat me like a mature young lady? You know, the way you refuse to?"

Ben's face went red (whether from anger, jelously, or both, Felicity couldn't tell). "He's older than you, and his intentions are entirely wrong for-for-for-"

"For who, a '_bit of a girl?' _Is that what you're wanting to say? Isn't it?" She snapped in her outrage, whirled about, spied Walter watching them with fascination, and grabbed his closest hand. "Come on, Walter, let's go have some fun!" As Ben gaped, she snarled hotly, "Go find Annabelle, why don't you? _'Everyone dances,' _you know!" With that, she stormed off towing Walter, who cast Ben a happy-go-lucky grin and shrugged.

Feeling awkward and embarrassed, Arthur Pratt gulped and turned to Elizabeth. "Well, Miss Elizabeth, shall we, um-"

"Aye! Let's!" Elizabeth answered hastily, taking Arthur's arm and leading him quickly back to the dance circle, leaving Bem Davidson alone with his roiling emotions and burning thoughts...and an anguished stare.

From nearby, Reginald Forsythe was smirking.

As it turned out, Walter Wheaton was an excellent dancing partner, though not forgetting her anger at Ben, Felicity did manage to have a good time and enjoy the dance, and the one after, and the one after that. When the cheerful fiddle finally slowed to a calmer tone, Walter took Felicity aside and offered to go get the two of them a drink, to which Felicity heartily consented, having danced up quite a thirst.

But Walter wasn't even gone a minute before Felicity found herself swept into the arms of young Lord Forsythe, who whisked her out into the swirls of skirts and dancers as smooth and skillfully as if it had been a formal event.

Her mouth came open, but she was too shocked to say a word. Forsythe said nothing, either, just stared at her with his ever intense hazel eyes as if she were the only living thing present. As if, Felicity realized with utter alarm, with those small eyes he was peeling back the layers of her mind and delving into her innermost secrets and fears, staring right down into the depths of her soul with force and intensity.

And once again, Felicity was unnerved. Frightened, actually.

Obviously he was an expert formal dancer-he was quick and smooth, his grip about her waist firm and leading. She just gaped at him, her green eyes riveted to his by shock. She wasn't even aware of her movements, just her own dumbfounded surprise.

At length, Forsythe remarked, "You _did_ promise, remember?"

"Uh-huh," she squeaked, almost as if hypnotized.

And suddenly Ben was there, roughly asserting himself between her and Forsythe bodily. He whipped his arm around Felicity's waist, pulled her tight against him and said in a low, deadly whisper right into the young lord's face, "Touch her again and I'll make you sorry." With that, he took her away, out of the circle of dancers, past befuddled Walter Wheaton, who had just returned with two cups of apple-punch in his hands, past watchful Arthur and Elizabeth, past the refreshment tables to the edge of the pasture near the trees.

Only then did he release her, and looked her in the eyes. "Are you all right, Lissie?" His voice was firm but gentle.

She hadn't realized just how hard she'd been breathing. _And _she was shaking. She could still see Forsythe's face, so intense, unblinking, as if he had silently demanded to know everything about her, all that she had inside her heart. She jumped when Ben took hold of her shoulders.

"Felicity?"

"Oh! I'm fine, Ben. Really! I just...I'm just out of breath." And she really was!

Ben spoke softer. "He didn't hurt you, did he?"

"N-No, No! He surprised me, that's all."

They were quiet then. Felicity hugged herself, feeling a cold chill despite a warm evening. She looked up at the sky, feeling her shock slowly start to fade, and concentrated on the stars just beginning to appear.

"Look, Lissie," Ben began, inhaling deep as if he'd been thinking about what he was about to say. "I didn't like Annabelle Cole dragging me off like that. It was very embarassing. I told her I didn't like dancing, and it would be better for her if she found a dancing partner that was better suited for her, then I left her as politely as I could. I swear she must've had some rum-it's the only explanation I could think of as to why she wanted to pick on _me_!

Felicity sighed and shook her head. _Ah, Ben, you still don't understand._

"Then I went looking for you," he continued. "And when I saw Forsythe holding on to you, away from the crowd...it's like I was set on fire!"

"We were only talking," Felicity said yet again. "And as he was telling me about his past, he didn't seem so strange then." She hesitated. "He had spproached me earlier and made me promise to save him a dance."

"He _what_?" Ben's face expressed absolute shock. Felicity didn't feel like repeating it again, obviously. "He _made_ you promise?"

She nodded slowly. "I don't think he would have left me alone if I hadn't."

Ben felt a sharp pang of guilt. "I'm sorry, Lissie. If I had kept an eye out for you like I promised to, he wouldn't have bothered you at all."

"It's okay, Ben. I heard you tell him you had told him to stay away from me. And he simply will not take no for an answer, will he?"

Ben scowled. "No, he won't."

There was brief silence. Then Felicity said softly, "I hate it when we argue, Ben."

"Me too," he told her right away. He noticed she was still looking up at the stars, being quiet, being serious. "Lissie, you _are_ a mature young lady, I'm aware of that. But something about Forsythe and the way he looks at you...being as old as he is..."

Felicity's voice was sad. "Why should it matter how old he is? More than anything, its his _boldness_ that bothers me. His...intensity. If I fancied a boy, I wouldn't care about his age."

"Intensity...that's definately the word for it."

So they were agreed upon that, then. But neither one of them could shake the feeling that there was something unspoken of that hung over them and was, at this point, too new and awkward to be approached. A calmness had settled in with the setting of the sun, and the strained tension between them was gone. Dissolved, like sugar in water.

"Ben?" she asked ever so softly.

"Yes?"

"Will you come with me?" Her eyes scanned the sky. "There's something I would like to show you."

"Um...okay. Where are we going?" With Felicity, one never knew what she had in mind! But Ben Davidson couldn't help but feel flattered that it was _he_ she was asking, not Forsythe. As if he would permit it.

He didn't object in the least when she began leading him away from the festivity, where the pie eating contest was just getting underway, and away from the Mitchum home itself. He looked at Felicity curiously, attempting to figure out where it was she was leading him, but her sweet young face was unreadable in the near-darkness.

After a few minutes, he saw that they were headed home, back to the Merriman house. But he still didn't question what it was she wanted to show him, that is, not until she pulled him over to the side of the house nearest the barn. She was still looking up.

"What is it?" he asked, utterly stumped.

Then she turned to him, grinning brilliantly. "Follow me!" And she started climbing up the trellis along side of the house, skillfully minding the ivy as she did so, knowing exactly where to put her small feet and where to grip for support.

Ben Davidson just gaped for a moment. What in the world was Felicity up to?

CHAPTER 6 FINISHED


	7. Chapter 7 Bonding

_**Felicity: An American Girl Romance Part 1, CHAPTER 7:Bonding**_

Ben was awe-struck, but then it occured to him that she was _used_ to doing this. Since he'd come to live with the Merrimans, he couldn't recall the number of times Mrs. Merriman had to bawl Felicity out for being on the roof. It made him grin, her boldness. She definately wasn't like any other girl he'd ever known! It was considered improper for girls to do any kind of climbing whatsoever, but he had long learned that when Felicity Merriman set her mind to something, propriety be damned.

"Don't just stand there," Felicity called down to him as she climbed, "come on!"

"Aye, I'm coming! _You_ just be careful!" As he started climbing, he called up, "What is it you wanted to show me up there?"

"I'll show you when you get up here! You be careful, too!" She had reached the roof already and was sitting down. _This would not be a good time to get dizzy,_ she thought nervously. _I really must be careful!_ She had done this so many times she could do it with her eyes closed, night or day, but with her body now feeling less than strong, she was beginning to doubt whether this had been a good idea after all. There was still a matter of getting back down!

When Ben was close to scrambling onto the roof, Felicity scooted sideways, to her left, toward the chimney on the other end of the roof. "Where are you going?" Ben asked, more stumped than ever.

"Over here by the chimney. 'Tis a little more secure." Once there, she watched and waited as Ben followed slowly. He wasn't crazy about heights, but he could handle if well. With the chimney on her left and Ben sitting himself down upon her right, she didn't feel as nervous.

"Well, we're up here," Ben declared hopefully. "Now what?"

Felicity smiled warmly. "Look!"

"At what?"

She pointed upward with a finger, and Ben's head followed. It was completely dark now, and the night sky was alive with stars. Like a heaping handful of sugar scattered across a vast coat of black velvet, the stars twinkled in many different colors; red, yellow, orange, blue, violet. There were a couple of 'stars' that didn't blink but shone brilliantly. The moon, a thick crescent, had risen in the west. With hardly any light coming from the homes below, the stars seemed to be greatly magnified. To their left and not far away, there was a yellow glow above the trees where the festivities were going on. from where ben and Felicity sat, a faint trace of music could be heard.

"Isn't it beautiful, Ben? The sky? Sometimes I come up here, just to look at the stars and the moon, to think about things. And its quiet and peaceful and I feel like the whole night sky belongs just to me." When Ben looked at her, he could see stars reflected in her eyes, which were dark in the shadow of night, and she murmured, "It makes a person feel awfully small, doesn't it?"

"Aye," he agreed softly, looking up. "Sometimes I wonder what's out there...you know, in all that blackness..."

Felicity shrugged absently. "That's where Heaven is, I suppose." She pointed northwards. "Father says that's the North star, the ones ships use to navigate by."

"'Tis indeed." They were quiet for a bit, each engrossed in their own wonderous thoughts. Then Ben looked at Felicity again, as she stared at the stars with her sweet young face turned up and the slight breeze stirring the loose tendrils of hair around it.

She was a very pretty girl, that Felicity Merriman.

Ben shifted awkwardly, but Felicity took no notice (that he was aware of, anyway). He cleared his throat discomfortingly, for he suddenly had something on his mind that gnawed at him. He just _had _to ask...  
So he did. "Lissie...why did you bring me up here?"

He expected her to get annoyed with him, but she didn't. Without breaking her stare, she spoke as if from somewhere very far away. "Father told me that when men go to war, they see things they wish they hadn't. Things they wish they could forget and can't, because war is ugly and death is always a possibility." She looked at him finally. Her expression was tired but soft. "I wanted to show you something that was beautiful and good, so that when you've seen death and killing, you'll remember that there are still wonderful things despite all of that. Do you mind?"

_Oh Lissie, _he thought with a rush of affection, _sweet, sweet Felicity Merriman, I lo- _Whoa! He inhaled sharply, and despite his swirling thoughts of tenderness, smiled happily. "No, Lissie, I don't mind at all. 'Tis one of the kindest things anyone's ever done for me." And he meant it. "I will remember this while I'm away, I promise." _But even more so, YOU, pretty Lissie..._

In a move that surprised both of them, Ben put his arm around her shoulders and gave her a gentle squeeze. Bells and whistles were going off in Felicity's being and she wanted ever so much to grin and giggle and snuggle close, but all she did was give a slight smile and leaned against him calmly in a returned gesture.

Suddenly the stars seemed to be even brighter, twinkling even more!

Having his arm around her (in a friendly way, trying not to seem emotional, which was a sheer struggle), gave him a thrill he'd never felt before. Her slender frame leaning against him made him feel quite manly, and more protective of her than ever. And to think the reason why she'd brought him up here was because she was thinking of _him_! He was immensely flattered. It was a dear, heartfelt thing for her to do. She'd been having nightmares about the war, he knew, so intense that they brought her down the stairs and outside her home, and here he was, about to _become_ a soldier himself in three months' time.

Would she have nightmares about him, too?

He was about to bring up the subject of dreams, when they both heard laughter in the distance. Felicity knew that laughter-her family was coming home! She looked up at Ben. "We better get down quick! If Mother and Father catch me..."

Ben understood right away. He began scrambling for the other end of the roof. "You mean catch _us_," he corrected, grinning. "I'd get in trouble for _letting_ you come up here!"

Felicity followed him as fast as she could, considering she was on a _roof_. Being a boy, Ben was much more agile and lithe with his long limbs. He was off the roof and climbing down the trellis in no time.

As Felicity reached the roof's edge, she heard Ben jump down with a soft thump and say urgently, "Careful, Lissie! But be quick!"

"I _know_, Ben, I've done this before!" The trellis shook a bit as she started down, and she began to feel wobbly. _Oh no! I can't get dizzy now! LordLordLord don't let me fall!_ She gulped in her panic. _Halfway down...I'm halfway there! Just a few more steps down and then I can just-_

She slipped, emitting a high-pitched "eeep!" as she fell back and down...only to have Ben catch her under her arms and stagger back with her so they both didn't drop to the ground. He helped her stand upright, and she whirled around, panting.

"Oh, Ben, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to fall like that-I was trying to hurry!"

"'Tis alright!" he breathed quickly. "Now let's get to the barn so- you know, it won't look like we...um, were up to no good. You know what I mean."

Felicity nodded vigorously and followed him at once to the barn. The sounds of laughter and lively chatter were louder and closer. After they slipped into the barn, Ben hastily lit a lamp that was hanging on a nail on a post, and Felicity went to Penny and Patriot, who were watching their human friends with curious interest.

"I'm sorry, Ben," Felicity repeated insistently. "I could've crushed you!"

"Are you joking?" Ben stood at Old Bess's stall door, grinning at her. "Little ol' you? Why, you weigh no more than a kitten!"

Felicity's laugh was nervous, and she spluttered to stifle it as the barn doors swung open and Mr. Merriman strolled in.

"Ah, there you both are!" he exclaimed jubilantly. Red cherry pie juice had put dreadful stains on the white towel that he had crammed into his shirt collar for the pie-eating contest. "Ms. Manderly said she saw you both headed for home."

"Yes, Father," Felicity replied innocently. Why did she feel like she and Ben had been doing something naughty? "I was in the mood to come home, so I made Ben bring me."

"Aye, sir," Ben agreed. "Now we're checking the horses."

"Well thank you, lad." Mr. Merriman grinned pleasantly.

Felicity quickly took note of her father's sloppy towel. "Did you win the pie-eating contest?" she asked hopefully.

"Alas, dear one, I did not!" Mr. Merriman declared, clutching at his heart with pretend woe. "But I did have the utmost pleasure in devouring most of your mother's cherry pies. I do believe I have ate my weight in pie, and am now in need of a long rest!" Then, to Ben and Felicity's surprise, he burped heartily. "Pardon," he grinned sheepishly.

Mrs. Merriman appeared at her husband's side, smiling happily. "Ah, there you two are!" she exclaimed. "You two missed a _most _enthusiastic pie-eating contest. Felicity, are you all right?"

"Yes, Mother, of course I am!" Felicity piped. "I'm with Ben!"

Ben smiled and blushed.

Mrs. Merriman looked at her husband. "Come along, my pie-drunk darling, let's get you cleaned up. Don't be long, Lissie."

"Yes, Mother."

After they'd gone, Felicity and Ben exchanged a relieved look and a sigh. "Guess I'd better go in," Felicity said, feeling suddenly on-the-spot. Her legs felt weak and she wanted to sit down, but she didn't dare let on. The evening had ended on a rather nice note and she wanted to keep it that way. "Thanks for coming along with me, Ben."

He grinned pleasantly. "You're welcome."

His eyes were still on her as she headed for the barn doors, where she hesitated, looked back at him and added, "And thanks for...for getting me away from Forsythe. He's not a _bad _fellow, but I feel very uncomfortable around him."

Ben nodded reassuringly. "I'm not about to let him take liberties with you. Not while _I'm _here."

And then the question hung over them, unspoken but obvious, and sadly unanswered: What about when you're gone?

They looked at each other, eyes locked, faces uncertain. But it was Felicity who turned away first, with a gentle whisper, "Goodnight, Ben."

"Goodnight, Lissie."  
He was still staring at the doors after she'd gone, thinking. There were times when the two of them shared a thought or a feeling so strong that all they needed to do was look at each other and _know _it. These were times that had bonded them, like two peices of driftwood bolted together. He'd never had that kind of connection with a girl before. But then he'd never had _any_ kind of relationship with a girl.  
What would be done about Forsythe while he was away? Surely Mr. Merriman would settle it once and for all?

-"I want to see Ben Davidson!" Felicity demanded to the British soldier. "He has a right to have visitors!"

The dark-haired Loyalist soldier? lieutenant? captain? simply sneered down at her. "No, he has not! The spy will be hanged at sundown!"

_Hanged? Ben? NO! _The soldier laughed at her as she backed away numbly, shaking her head in horror. She wanted to scream but her voice was gone. It was as if a cold, cruel hand had a grip on her throat! She blinked, trying to clear her vision of burning tears, and when she did, she saw the British soldier was none other than Reginald Forsythe!

_"NO!" _she gasped in horror, which made the young man laugh all the more, and wickedly as well...

"Lissie? Lissie, wake up, why are you crying? Please stop crying."

Nan was shaking her urgently, and for the first time since her older sister's nightmares began, she sounded concerned rather than irritated.

Felicity awoke, sniffing and wiping at her eyes. When she had calmed down enough to think clearly, she saw Nan sitting up beside her in the darkness, looking timid. She felt a rush of guilt, for she would rather have little Nan irked than frightened.

"I'm sorry, Nan! I should'nt have scared you like that."

"Well now that you're awake, 'tis all right." Nan began to look a little relieved. "I guess you couldn't help it."

Felicity sniffed miserably. "I try, Nan, I really do..."

"Was it still about the war?"

"Yes," Felicity replied, but thought, _In a manner of speaking... 'Tis war-related._

"Poor Lissie," Nan said, and laid back down beside her sister, then took hold of Felicity's closest arm. "Here-I'll hold on to you so you won't get up and roam about in your sleep again, okay?"

Felicity was genuinely touched by the gesture. "Okay, Nan. Thank you, that would help."

Little did Felicity know how spooked Nan had been by the sleepwalking incident-the small girl had been more disturbed by it than she'd let on, and she sure didn't want to see it happen again. She and Felicity might have differing opinions as to what a proper 'lady' should and should not do, but they loved each other, and that ever-close bond of sisterhood made all the trivial rubbish just fade away.

As Felicity gradually fell back to sleep, albeit fitfully, Nan did not. Something about the way Felcity was breathing bothered her. Almost raspy...not normal...not well. Nan Merriman was very worried.

Felicity and Elizabeth went for a stroll after their lessons with Ms. Manderly. Felicity didn't have to work with Big Brutus on the days she had lessons, but she wanted to go by and say hello to him and slip him an apple anyway, and this time she let Elizabeth give it to him. Then they went walking by Miller's Pond and talked about boys, with Elizabeth chatting mirthfully about 'dear Arthur'. Ultimately, they wound up at Elizabeth's house, out back in the Cole's flower gardens with scones and lemonade between them as they sat upon a blanket under an elm tree.

They each had their chapbooks, practicing their drawing as Ms. Manderly had instructed. Felicity found drawing a sheer fascination, and even more so, something she was really good at. Sometimes she would draw in her diary the things she truly enjoyed, like birds and horses, and lately she'd started on people. She found curves and angles and textures intruiging to try to capture and put on paper the way she saw them before her.

Elizabeth had been hard at work on her blue bird. Drawing was _not _her area of expertise, as sewing was. Every now and then she would lean over toward Felicity to see how her friend's bird was coming along compared to hers.

"Oh, Lissie, your cardinal looks like it could fly right off the page! How life-like!"

"Thank you," Felicity replied softly. She was having a hard time concentrating, for she was having a dizzy spell right then. "How is your blue bird coming along?"

Elizabeth looked down at her book. Her mouth was twisted in a frustrated crinkle. "It doesn't look very much like a bird. 'Tis more like a thumb."

Felicity chuckled.

"So Annabelle simply thinks Ben was too shy to dance with her," Elizabeth said, apparently resuming a conversation that they'd been having. "She thinks he was embarrassed that he didn't know how to dance, and now she wants to give him lessons!"

"Annabelle can want all she wants, but that's _never _going to happen," Felicity grumbled. Her head had now begun to ache. "Ben doesn't think much of dancing."

Elizabeth grinned at her. "That friend of his sure does! What's his name-Walter? He was awfully impressed that you lead him to dance. I think he likes you!"

Felicity wasn't paying attention.

"And that Forsythe fellow! My goodness!" Elizabeth shook her head in wonder. "I did not meet him, but from what Arthur and I saw of him, he _is _quite odd! I didn't like the way he was staring at you, Lissie, 'twas awfully creepy! We were glad when Ben escorted you home-you're always safe with him! You must tell me what happened on the roof after you two got up there!"

There was no reply.

"Lissie?" Elizabeth looked up from her thumb-bird...and gasped.

Felicity was not paying attention because she was slumped back against the tree trunk, arms limp at her sides, face turned away, unconscious.

"Lissie!" Elizabeth yelped, heedlessly allowing her pen and chapbook to tumble from her lap as she slid over to Felicity and urgently shook her friend's shoulders. "Lissie, what's wrong, what's the matter? Wake up! What's happened with you?"

No reply, no movement. Elizabeth's head whipped about, looking for someone, anyone, any of the Cole house servants. Mrs. Cole and Annabelle were gone visiting friends. She and Felicity were utterly alone out here in the gardens.

Elizabeth gulped and gripped Felicity's shoulders. "I shall go for help, Lissie, and I'll hurry-"

Felicity groaned, and slowly raised her head, raised a hand to her forehead. Her eyelids fluttered. Suddenly she inhaled sharply and sat up, eye going wide open. She looked at Elizabeth's panic-stricken face and whispered, "What happened?"

_She didn't know? _Elizabeth looked even more worried than ever as she said slowly, "I'm not sure, Lissie...I think you fainted!"

"Fainted?" Puzzled, Felicity rubbed her forehead. She felt overwhelmingly dizzy and light-headed all right. 'Twas very likely she'd done just that, for quite some time now she'd always felt like fainting but had just barely managed to keep from doing so. She knew something wasn't right with her health, but she had figured it would pass.

Apparently not.

"Aye, you fainted," Elizabeth said again, staring with concerned blue eyes. "You should just sit here while I go fetch someone!"

"No!" Felicity blurted louder than she meant to. "I mean, there's no need to now. I'm fine. I'm better...I'm just tired. All the work I've been doing with Brutus, and not getting much sleep-it's just made me tired, that's all. And it _is_ rather hot today, don't you think?"

Elizabeth looked hesitant, doubtful, and it was evident in her voice. "I don't know, Felicity...you look awfully pale."

Felicity forced a humorous smile. "Well, isn't a pale face the fashion?"

"Aye, but you're more like-" She wanted to say _sickly pale_, but thinking that too blunt, settled for "-_questionably _pale."

"Oh Elizabeth, don't worry so!" Felicity patted the blanket beside her. "Do sit back down and finish your bird, okay?"

"Well..."

Felicity picked up Elizabeth's chapbook and found the page with the supposedly blue bird on it. "Why, it doesn't look like a thumb at all!" she lied. "'Tis more like a-like a-"

Thumb.

"Now Lissie," Elizabeth scolded lightly, "if you cannot think of something nice to say so as to not hurt my feelings, then you're _really _ill!" Then she grinned as Felicity blushed deeply. "Really, Lissie, wouldn't you prefer I go get someone? You gave me quite a fright!"

"I'm very sorry, Elizabeth, truly I am," Felicity told her gently, pleadingly. "But I'll be fine. I'll get more rest tonight and I'll be much better in the morning! You-you won't tell anyone will you?"

_Uh-oh, _Elizabeth thought worriedly. _If she was fine she woudn't care if I said anything to anyone. Not that I would since she asked me not to, but there _is _something wrong indeed! _"I shant say anything, Lissie, but if you faint on me again and scare me out of my wits, I _will_!"

How could she argue with that? Felicity nodded in agreement. "'Tis settled, then." When Elizabeth sat down beside her agin, Felicity asked, "So what does your mother think of Mr. Arthur Pratt?"

The sparkle of excitement was back in Elizabeth's eyes. "She likes him! Poor Arthur was so eager for mama to like him that he kept spilling his tea and appologizing all over the place! But Mama has allowed him to visit often and to escort me about town when I have need, and his father is so kind! Mr. Pratt is absolutely _thrilled _that his son has, as he said, met such a _lovely _young friend! He called me _lovely_!"

"Well you _are_ lovely!"

Elizabeth reddened, then added coyly, "Annabelle won't speak to Arthur. Mama says she's just jelous that I, her younger sister, has made a _special _male acquaintence before _she_ has. But 'tis not as if I were being courted! After all, I am eleven and Arthur is thirteen."

Felicity smiled encouragingly, despite feeling weak. "But I'm sure the idea is brewing in your mother's and Mr. Pratt's minds!"

After a shy hesitation, Elizabeth said softly, "I think it would appear so. Mama has written to father about him."

"Oh, I'm so happy for you, Elizabeth! Arthur is a fine fellow! So funny and so sweet-tempered. He will make an excellent suitor!"

Elizabeth put a hand to her heart and sighed gladly. Her face was quite flushed! "Lissie...when did this happen? 'Twas like I just woke up one day, went about my business, and then _whoosh_! Arthur Pratt appeared and my heart never beat so fast!" She giggled a bit uncontrollably. "And I am only eleven!"

Felicity knew the feeeling very well, for Ben was now constantly on her mind and in her heart, in her dreams and nightmares, in the very air she breathed. "Girls become engaged very quickly these days," she said remindfully, and many parents allow a marriage _before _the age of sixteen. If you think about it, there really isn't anything strange about fancying a boy at our age. 'Tis all so new and exciting."

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. "Speak you from experience, Felicity Merriman?"

Now 'twas Felicity who reddened. "No! Um, no, I was just...no, Elizabeth, I do not _fancy_ anyone!"

"Oh, I see." Elizabeth smiled cryptically. She knew better. True, Felicity did not _fancy_ Ben Davidson, like Annabelle did. Felicity was in _love_. Deeply. It was all over Felicity's _questionably_ pale face, swimming in her sad eyes.

But Elizabeth said nothing. Felicity would confide in her in her own time. Love, it seemed, was becoming a burden to her patriot friend, perhaps so much that it was making her ill, for brave, dear Felicity Merriman was not a swooner by habit, and not the type who fainted easily. No, something was wrong, something Lissie didn't want attention brought to. There was actually _fear_ in the girl's eyes.

And if Felicity Merriman was afraid for some reason, it would have to be a damn good one!

-Ben Davidson's brain was a whirl of thought. Between anticipating his brithday's arrival in September and therefore his leave to become a soldier, he was thinking about Felicity. A lot. He would catch himself smiling when he did so, and then he would feel warm and happy inside.

He didn't quite know what name to give it.

Everytime he thought of what his life would be like in the army, he began thinking of Felicity, here at home in Williamsburg, missing him. Would she truly miss him? Would she worry about his safety and write to him while he was gone? Would she be proud of him for fighting for their freedom? He'd found himself hoping so! In his secret thoughts and wishes he found himself wanting to be important to her, wanted to impress her by being the brave, daring soldier he himself wanted and dreamed of being.

As he went about his work in the store, a couple of sweet-looking young girls a little younger than Felicity giggled and gave him shy smiles as he passed them with a polite nod. They giggled rambunctiously after he passed. He smiled a bit. They were cute, but they were younger than he, and it occured to him that since he had come to live with the Merrimans a couple of years ago, he had not fancied a single girl at all.

Not that Williamsburg was lacking in lovely young ladies, for there were plently. Not that being an apprentice left him little time to pursue courting, for many times Mr. Merriman gave him time to go about as he pleased. He thought about it-Felicity Merriman was the first girl who'd ever reached out to him upon his arrival here. 'Twas she who had reached out to him first, having sensed his lonliness, and he had been utterly too shy and quiet to reach out to anyone.

But Felicity Merriman had changed all that. She had entrusted him with her secret about Penny wholeheartedly. He rememberred thinking of her as a mischeivious pixie, a sort of woodland faerie princess, like the tales of fantasy his mother told him about when he was small. Felicity loved the outdoors. She loved animals and growing things, her garden and traipsing through the woods in rain or shine. No ordinary girl was she! Ben smiled (unaware of it) as he recalled his first sight of her: small, with flying fiery red hair, green eyes ablaze with energy too intense to be confined indoors, a radient grin a person couldn't help but feel softened by...

Aye, she had been the only girl in his life. He found himself not wanting that to change. They were as close as friends as a boy and girl could be, but to think of her as a sister? It had never happened. With Felicity on his mind more and more often these days, he also found that thinking of her as _more _than a friend was becoming important.

So what did that make her _now_?

-It was a day that Big Brutus had wanted to run all over the place, so Felicity had allowed him, giving him free rein to take her wherever he pleased, as fast as he wanted to go. His big hairy hooves pounded the ground with mighty force, and his magnificent mane billowed back in the wind and in Felicity's face, tickling her nose.

It had been a good ride. The afternoon was not too hot, for early July, the air not yet unbearably humid, and both girl and horse enjoyed the exercise. In the coming days Felicity planned to show Brutus what blinkers were, and that they wouldn't harm him. Felicity was quite confident that the big horse would be plow-worthy by the end of the month.

They were on their way back to the Haverty farm when Felicity's otherwise decent day took a turn downhill. Brutus was cooling down at an easy walk upon the shade dotted road coming from the fields, and Felicity sat astride him, simply watching the birds and the clouds, thinking about making Ben a chocolate cake for his birthday, when it happened.

She hadn't even felt it coming on. She was looking up at the trees when her body went weak, a chill came over, and her eyes just rolled back under fluttering lashes. She was unconscious even as she slid bonelessly off Brutus and dropped to the ground with a solid thump. Brutus came to an abrupt halt, turned his head and looked at her curiously as he stopped moving.

As it just happened, someone _else _saw her lying there as well.

Reginald Forsythe had been headed toward the Haverty barn also, in hopes of catching his angel before the bothersome apprentice showed up to take her home. And there she'd been, mounted atop that splendid black beast about fifty feet away ahead of him, when he saw her limply go sliding off.

"Felicity!" he cried, and jumped into a frenzied run. He was not accustomed to running, even so much as that fifty feet. Servants usually did his running _for _him. But his angel had fallen and apparently he was meant to go to her! He was at her side in a flash, panting as if he'd run a foot race.

"Felicity! Dearest Felicity, open your eyes!" He did more than just kneel beside her. As Brutus watched curiously, Forsythe scooped her upper half into his arms and stroked away the wispy strands of scarlet hair. "Please, my angel, answer me! 'Tis your Reggie, my sweet! Oh, Felicity, love, _do _open your eyes at once!"

He caressed a warm, soft, snow white cheek and gripped her tight. Fate had indeed delivered her to him, right into his very arms! Perhaps she had taken ill and was in need of a physician-yes! He would take her home to Templeton Manor, lay her abed in one of his Auntie's many lavish spare bedchambers, and call for his mama's personal doctor. And she would recover there, under his very roof, where he could see her constantly, sit up with her all night, and-the thrill of it!-her father would be so grateful that he would allow him to officially court her!

'Twas a splendid plan! How fast it had formed! But...how was he to get her home? It wasn't like he was accustomed to lifting any manner of weight. Despairing, he stared down at the angel in his arms. How fair she was, how serene! So perfectly, angelically beautiful!

"Felicity, my angel, let me take you home!" _Let me add you to my collection! _He bent his face down over hers... and pressed his thin lips to her forehead.

She groaned, her lungs expanding with air as she began to come to. Forsythe's pulse began to speed up as her lovely auburn eyelashes fluttered and her rosy, youthful lips parted. On impulse, he moistened his own lips and lowered his face again.

"FORSYTHE!" Ben roared. He had rounded the corner and found the limp Felicity Merriman being crushed in the arms of the arrogant fop, and damned if it didn't look like the whoreson was about to _kiss her on the mouth! _He saw red. Rage took hold of him like fire upon dry wood and with clenched teeth, jaw and fists was sprinting toward them.

"I told you if you _ever _laid a hand on her again, I'd-"

"Ben, no!" Felicity shouted, sitting up quickly and holding her hand up, for Ben's fist was pulled back, ready to launch itself into Forsythe's nose and horrified face. "Ben, stop-I fell off of Brutus and Mr. Forsythe found me! He hasn't hurt me!"

Ben's eyes were full of fury. "Oh no? Didn't look that way from where _I _was!"

Felicity scrambled to her feet, using Brutus's big, muscular shoulder to aid herself. "Ben, please..." She reached over and gently but firmly pushed his hardened fist back down.

Relieved, Forsythe got to his feet amd brushed the dust from his velvety brown breeches.

Ben quickly looked Felicity up and down for signs of abuse, for he did not put it past Forsythe to take advantage of her in any way, then gently took her arm to steady the shaking girl. In a much softer voice he asked, "What happened, Lissie? As I was running it looked like you had fainted."

Felicity looked uncertain. "I-I don't know, Ben. I was just riding Brutus home, and then...'twas like I fell asleep and obviously I fell off of him, and Mr. Forsythe saw me and came to see if I was all right-"

"And _he _didn't hurt you?" Ben glared menacingly at the sneering fop.

"No, of course not."

Forsythe's chin raised, and he clasped his hands behind his back. "You see, Mr. Davidson, the dear girl testifies on my behalf. Why, I'm no more a threat to her than a subservient watchdog! If I had not happened along God only knows _who _would have found her!"

Ben stepped forward, bristling with anger. "And how is it that _you _just 'happened' along, Forsythe? Huh? Simply out taking a walk, which just 'happened' to take you to the place where Mr. Merriman's daughter 'happened' to be?" He looked at Felicity. "Does that sound like a coincedence to you, Lissie?"

No, it didn't. But she didn't want Ben to get into trouble with Forsythe for having been in a fight or making Forsythe mad enough to demand a punishment. Father apparently didn't like Forsythe much, but being a rich young lord, Reginald Forsythe could make serious trouble for Ben, and Felicity didn't want that!

Before she could reply, Forsythe did, with narrowed hazel eyes. "So what if I did want to see her? Who are you to prevent _friends_ from seeing one another?" His head snapped to Felicity. "And we _are_ friends are we not?"

"Well, I, um, er-"

She didn't have to answer _that_ one, either. "No, you're not," Ben interrupted fiercely. "You may be used to getting your way where you come from, but _not here_, understand? Mr. Merriman forbids it. Next time I _will_ thrash you to a pulp!"

"Did you hear that, Miss Felicity?" Forsythe exclaimed. "He threatens _me_ with physical harm right after accusing me of attempting to harm you! If anyone should be under suspicion of abuse, it should be _this_ idiot!"

"Why, you-"

"Ben!" Felicity said sharply, taking hold of his rising fist again. "Let's just get Brutus home, okay? I'm absolutey _starving_! If I did indeed faint, 'twas because I haven't had a bite since breakfast. Come on." She gathered Brutus' reins in one hand and took hold of Ben's arm with the other, and began trudging towars Mr. Haverty's barn. "Thank you, Mr. Forsythe, for coming to my aid. I will be fine now. Good day!"

Forsythe and Ben exchanged spiteful glances.

"Good day, Felicity! Be well!" _Damn and blast!_ Forsythe raged inwardly as he watched them go. _Ruined my whole entire plan, that damned apprentice! I WILL find a way to win the heart of Felicity Merriman and NO ONE will stop me again. And the damned apprentice will pay dearly!_

Between Big Brutus and brooding Ben Davidson, Felicity felt a little more secure, strength-wise. Her head was very light and swimmy and her limbs were weak. As if by some silent communication, Ben took Brutus' reins into one hand, moving between the horse and the girl, and put the other around Felicity's shoulders. Not a word was spoken during the brief walk to Mr. Haverty's barn.

CHAPTER 7 FINISHED


	8. Chapter 8 For The Love of Lissie

_**Felicity An American Girl Romance, CH.8: For The Love of Lissie**_

Ben was the one who put Brutus in his stall, while Felicity stood against the corral fence, looking nervous. When he emerged from the barn, he took Felicity's arm supportively and they began to walk home. After a few minutes of awkward silence, Ben spoke uncertainly.

"What's happening to you, Lissie?"

Lord, she didin't know where to begin! Or how. She sighed deeply, troubled-like (Ben could sense the stress coming off of her like rays from the sun). When she answered, her tone was weary. "I don't know, Ben. It seems to be so many things-bad dreams, mostly, yet I-I can't..." _I can't tell you Ben!_ "It will pass, I'm sure."

"Well I'm _not_ so sure, Lissie," Ben said quietly. "Something is wrong with you and you need to tell your parents."

Felicity gave him an uncomfortable look. "And if I don't, you will?"

"Aye," he breathed reluctantly. "They need to know. When I told your father about Forsythe harassing you at the social he did look angry, and I cannot tell him about finding you unconscious with Forsythe ahold of you without explaining why you were unconscious in the first place."

"So don't tell him."

Ben stopped them and made her face him. "Don't you see I _have_ to, Lissie? Forsythe is not going to leave you alone, so something has to be done. And if you're ill, he's going to try to take advantage of that. Maybe your father will go to Lady Templeton herself and talk to her about him."

"I'm _not _ill!" Felicity snapped, more concerned with having attention put on her health than being pestered by the ever-so-strange Lord Forsythe. "Can't you just tell Father you caught him _following_ me?"

"No, Lissie, because he did more than that! When I first saw him, it looked like he was going to-going to _kiss_ you!" Ben's brown eyes were full of loathing.

But Felicity believed him. It sent such creeping shudders down her spine, thinking about how she saw Forsythe's thin face looming so close over hers that it was blurred when her eyes had snapped open. She thought quickly. "Well, how about this then: you can tell Father everything after I've told him and Mother that I ...that I haven't been feeling myself lately. I will tell them tomorrow."

Ben looked hesitant. "Why tomorrow? Why not tonight?"

She looked at him with tired, pleading eyes. "Because I want to get a good night's rest. There's absolutely no way I can if I know Mother and Father are worried about me. Please, Ben? Just wait another day, okay? Then you and I _both_ will them about Forsythe's hounding-I will tell Father how nervous it makes me!"

This seemed to agree with Ben at last. He nodded his consent. "Very well, then. But you _will_ tell your parents that you fainted?"

Felicity sighed submissively. The concern in those warm brown eyes touched her heart completely. "Aye, Ben, I will tell them." But then as they started walking again, she added stiffly, "But I won't like it. I insist that I'm _not _ill! Believe it or not, Ben Davidson, I don't always like being the center of attention!"

"Is that so?" He smiled a little. "In this case, though, 'tis for your own good." At that point he sounded more like an overprotective older brother than a friend. But then he asked, "Forsythe didn't kiss you, did he?"

"No, Ben, he didn't." _Not that I know of anyway!_

_"_Good," Ben stated firmly. "You're too young to be kissed."

_What?_ Hotly annoyed, Felicity turned on him. "Benjamin Davidson, how dare you say such a thing! I do _not_ wish for Reginald Forsythe to kiss me, but if a boy I fancied wanted to, then I would absolutely _let_ _him_ _kiss_ _me_ !" She yanked her arm free from his hold and folded both over her chest. Oh why did he have to go and be so insensitive _now_, when she she was so tired and weak and miserable!

"So you _do_ fancy a boy?" Ben asked, taken quickly aback. He most certainly wasn't expecting _that_!

"I never said that I did," she retorted angrily.

"Well who is it?" His face was red with renewed ire.

_Hmmm...if he wants to think I fancy someone, then I'll just let him! Serves him right! _She held her chin up. "I refuse to discuss the matter any further, especially since once again you're treating me like a child after you promised not to!"

Ben was quiet, obviously deep in thought and brooding again. He shouldn't have said that, _you're to young to be kissed. _What the hell was wrong with him? _Forsythe, that's what! _He was angry at Forsythe for nearly kissing Felicity _on the mouth _when she was unawares. _Forsythe _clearly didn't think her too young to be kissed, but then the overconfident fop probably thought she wasn't too young for a _lot _of things! Ben grew even angrier.

"Look," he sighed at length, seeing Felicity looking tired and desolate, "I'm sorry about trying to treat you like a child again. Sometimes I just don't think, remember? I'm mad because I caught that Forsythe trying to take liberties with you while you were unconscious and-and-and it was _wrong_!"

She looked at him worriedly. "He really _was _trying to kiss me, Ben?"

"Aye!"

It made them _both _feel uncomfortable. Without looking over at him, Felicity said softly, "I'm glad you stopped him, Ben."

"So am I." He glanced at her. "Your father's not going to like it one bit when we tell him."

"I cannot imagine how he'll react," Felicity mumbled. "But Father usually thinks before he acts and speaks. He'll know exactly what to do."

Ben nodded. "Aye. No hothead is he! Unlike myself. I was ready to pulp the bast-er, _jackass_."

Felicity chuckled lightly.

That night Ben Davidson went to bed bothered by the idea that Felicity Merriman _fancied _someone. A boy. She had neither confirmed or denied it, but it was the impression he got in the midst of his sulking. Nay, it wasn't Forsythe she fancied, no, not at all. So who was it? He found himself mentally fixating on 'possible candidates,' discarding them, and getting even more agitated.  
_Who was it? _And why was it plaguing him so? She might actually not fancy anyone at all! Nay-she probably did. After all, she'd been insisting for some time now that she wasn't a child any more, and nay, she was not, and if a boy as old as Forsythe was taking amorous interest in her, other boys could be as well!  
But _who_?

He thumped his mattress in frustration. He _would _find out. If there was a boy she had her eye on, he would find out who it was and what his intentions were! And the thing that bothered him most, was that it really didn't matter _who _the boy was-when he was gone to join the army, there would be _swarms _of boys coming to call on her.  
And there wouldn't be a thing he could do about it.

Felicity woke the next morning feeling worse than ever could barely keep her eyes open and it was hard to take a deep breath. She had to will herself out of bed and into her clothes as if she were being a harsh governess to herself. Her body felt numb, weak and heavy all at once, the room swam before her eyes, and the thought of breakfast turned her stomach. Her nerves were shot. This evening she and Ben would have to tell her parents about Forsythe's behavior yesterday, and Ben expected her to confess to her fainting.  
But how was she going to get through the day?

_Something's wrong, something's wrong, something's wrong, I can't go on like this. I AM ill. It will NOT pass. Something's dreadfully wrong with me!_ She went downstairs with Nan, who was looking at her curiously, and forced a smile for everyone as she sat down at the table in her place. It was going to require most of her failing strength to act like nothing was wrong.  
And she really didn't _want_ to pretend anymore.

Father had read in the paper something about British spies being caught and brought in from the west to be temporarily jailed in Williamsburg, which sparked a lively conversation among those already at the table. Which meant in turn that attention was elsewhere other than on Felicity, who forced herself to eat and forced herself to pretend to be listening to the banter about soldiers and imprisonments. One hot biscuit was all she could manage, for she felt as though her stomach was pea-sized and hard as a rock.

She had even pinched her own pale cheeks to give herself the illusion of having a healthy glow, but she was certain her miserable expression, when she wasn't guarding herself, would eventually give her away. So she hid her biscuit in her concealed pocket, and, with forced cheerfulness, exclaimed that she was off to take Penny for a morning ride. She left the table as quick as she could.  
As soon as she was gone, Nan turned to her mother and said, "Something is wrong with Lissie!" She spoke fast, lest her unpredicitable sister return unexpectdly. "She never sleeps much anymore and she breathes different."

"Aye!" agreed Ben, much to Nan's surprise. "I don't think she wants anyone to know."

"Shall I fetch her back, Mother?" Nan looked ready to jump up and run.

Mrs. Merriman exchanged a worried look with her husband. Mr. Merriman smiled gently and carefully, and then said, "No, Nan, just finish your breakfast. Felicity would not want to feel like we are all ganging up on her all of a sudden-like. Your mother and I know something is amiss with your sister, and we will address it today, I promise."  
Nan nodded submissively, and Ben looked surprised.

"Edward," Mrs. Merriman said in a low voice to her husband, "If she's taken ill she needs to be inside at once!"

"I know, dearest, but you know how much she hates that. I intend to go find her in a minute and get her to come in without making it seem like we are all scared for her." He touched Martha's hand. "Even if she starts kicking and screaming. If we need to fetch Dr. Galt, you can prepare for that."

Martha Merriman nodded gravely.

As it turned out, Edward Merriman wasn't able to find Felicity in the barn after all. Penny was indeed gone, but without saddle and bridle. And pressing upon him was the fact that members of the Committee of Safety were stopping by the store today. He'd have to go on to the store and send Ben to find her. He wasn't too worried yet-but whatever was ailing his dear Felicity, it was beginning to worry the whole family.

Felicity did not want to go home after her ride on Penny. In fact, she wanted to go straight to her father at the store and collapse into his comforting arms. She thought the ride would make her feel better. Oh, how she hated being ill! She hated to have such attention put on her with Ben leaving so soon! Wasn't anyone other than herself worried for _him_?  
She hadn't felt like putting Penny's saddle on, nor the bridle, either, A rope-rein tied to the halter would suffice, and Penny probably was relieved to not have a bit in her mouth for once. Usually, the wind blowing in her face, and Penny's reassuring strength were enough to make her feel better, but not today. After circling the field and trying some of the other pastures she was free to use, she felt even worse. She just couldn't stall any longer. Evening seemed to be a long time away. She needed her father _now_!

She steered Penny towards the store, with her basket of fresh flowers for her mother she'd picked hanging from one arm. Absolutely nothing was making her feel any better-riding, walking, sitting, writing in her diary-was helping. Oh, yes, it was time to tell Father.

She tied Penny to the hitching post outside the store and used both hands to steady herself as she went up the steps to the store. Her very knees threatened to give way! She felt very close to fainting again. She pushed the door open, and the _brrrring _of the bell made her wince sharply as she stumbled inside...and froze.

Annabelle Cole was standing beside Ben, babbling away as she linked her arm around his closest one. Ben was smiling awkwardly, strangely, as if he was being forced to. He mumbled something Felicity couldn't catch, for she wasn't close enough, and disengaged himself from Annabelle's grip, quickly disappearing into the back room. Felicity's father was standing at the back of the store talking quietly with some important-looking men. and her heart sank even further, for she knew not to disturb her father when he was with men like that.

Elizabeth saw her, and blinked in surprise, as if caught off-guard by the sight of her friend's condition. It did not occur to Felicity that she looked like a ghost.

Annabelle was obviously giddy about something, for she bounced up and down on the balls of her feet. She gripped Elizabeth's arm tightly and squealed, "How perfect, Bitsy! Ben is going to escort me home!"

Elizabeth managed to break away her gaze from Felicity and said most irritably,"Only because he's headed that way anyway to deliver flour to Mama, Annabelle. And _I _am with you, so 'tis not like as if it were a courtship walk!"

"Oh, but it could be if you were to go over to Queen Street and see that little Pratt boy!" Annabelle gave her younger sister a little push.

Felicity couldn't stand it anymore. She glared at Annabelle Cole and hissed, "You are a _fool_, Annabelle."

Elizabeth gasped.

"I beg your pardon?" Annabelle squeaked, noticing Felicity standing just inside the door for the first time.

"Surely you couldn't be as stupid as you look," Felicity continued, her body beginning to shake uncontrollably. "But apparently you really are. You just don't understand, do you?"

Annabelle's balled fists went to her hips. "Understand _what_, you rude little-"

"That Ben doesn't give a whit about you! That he doesn't even LIKE you!" One of Felicity's knees gave out, as Elizabeth gaped, and Felicity grabbed hold of the carved coat rack standing beside her for support. "You insist on coming in here, pretending to shop for God only knows what, just so you can annoy poor Ben to death and make a blasted fool out of yourself! _Everybody knows why, Bananabelle Cole, _you're not fooling anyone!"

Tears had welled up in Annabelle's angry eyes. Elizabeth stepped forward and began, "Felicity, I don't think that you-"

"Oh, _really_, Elizabeth!" Felicity said. She was not aware that her teeth had begun to chatter. "How many times has Bananabelle embarrassed you with her pointless, idiotic behavior? Why, the whole town knows she's a nincompoop!"

"How-How _dare you, _you-" Annabelle was near to bawling.

"'How _dare _I?" Felicity laughed bitterly, wickedly. "If I don't tell you, who will? Or perhaps you're waiting for _Ben _to tell you off himself? Is that it, Bananabelle? _He doesn't LIKE you, understand? _You're _nothing _to him! _You never have been and you never, ever will be, you stupid, stupid, IDIOT!"_

"FELICITY!" Elizabeth shrieked as Annabelle burst out into great sobs and flew from the store in a crazed sprint. A hush had fallen over the store, momentarily, and Felicity saw her father start towrd her, but one of the important-looking men he'd been discussing something serious with took hold of his arm and gestured as if he'd been waiting for Mr. Merriman to give an answer. Hesitantly, Mr. Merriman stopped and turned back to the man.

_Oh, Father, I need you! I need help! Where's Ben! _Panic-striken and chilled to the bone, Felicity uttered an anguished groan and pushed herself out the door. She had not dared to look at Elizabeth again, for fear of seeing the shock and anger in her friend's eyes. She just felt she had to get out of there now, away, because something was happening to her and fear had numbed her reasoning.  
She managed to get down the steps without falling. She grabbed at Penny's halter-rope, pulled herself up onto the mare's back, and urged the horse intop a run as she clung to the starled animal's neck in despair. "Run, Penny, run," she whispered, and Penny did. She did not see Elizabeth come running out of the store calling after her.

She saw nothing but flashes of white light behind her eyelids as she held tightly to Penny as much as her failing body would allow.

Ben Davidson was worried. Scared, actually.

After prying himself loose from that wierd Annabelle Cole, he'd gone to the back of the store to collect the bag of flour he was to deliver to the Cole house, when he heard a commotion out front. By the time he got there he only saw Elizabeth standing in the doorway, calling for Felicity.

According to Mr. Merriman, Felicity had been in there, and an argument had sparked between her and Annabelle Cole, who had left bawling, and then Felicity had left. Mr. Merriman had not been able to get to her because of the urgent business with some men from the Committee of Safety, but he said Felicity looked absolutely wretched and hardly able to stand. In a mad rush of words Ben had relayed the tale of what had happened with Forsythe yesterday, but Mr. Merriman said none of that mattered now, that the most important thing was to find Felicity and get her home _now_.

Forsaking the Coles' delivery, he'd sent Ben to find her, and _that _was the problem first and foremost. She'd been riding Penny. She could be anywhere!

He checked all the fields and meadows he knew she liked to take Penny to a second time. Still no sign of her. He went to the Haverty place to see if she'd gone to see Big Brutus, and Mr. Haverty reported having seen no sign of her all day and bade her good luck. He went by places he knew she liked to window shop and browze in, which were mostly places that sold books. Nothing. He even stopped by Pratts' jewelry shop on a whim, and though he was greeted by an enthusiastic, hand-shaking Arthur, the joyful lad had not seen her either.

Maybe, just maybe, she'd gone home!

By the time he got there it was late afternoon, and he'd begun to have a sickening, panicky feeling in his gut. He was very much out of breath, and a new thought had seized him frightfully...  
_What if Forsythe had her?_

_God, no. Oh, no. Surely not! _Exhausted, Ben Davidson bent over, clutching at the stitich in his side and breathing hard. If he had to grab Old Bess and ride out to Templeton Manor and bang the blasted door down, then by God's will, he'd do it, he'd-

He heard a whinny. Raising up straight, he saw Penny standing just outside the barn, still with her rope-halter about her head and neck. _Oh thank God,_ he thought with much relief. _She just got here, then..._

But as he neared Penny, the beautiful mare tossed her head and quickly moved away from him, out from in front of the barn doors.

"Hey Lissie, are you in there?" Ben called. No reply. He turned to Penny, who pawed the ground and stepped toward the road. He came toward her, reached for her rope, but she tossed her head again and backed closer toward the road. Her ears were alert and twitchy.

"Easy, Penny. What's the matter? Where's Felicity, huh?" Sensing that Lissie was _not _here after all, he began to feel an even bigger sense of dread than before.

Penny pawed the ground more urgently and snorted. Again as Ben approached her she backed away toward the road, and Ben began to get the feeling that Penny wanted him to follow her. Yes! That made sense-Penny was the smartest horse he'd ever had the pleasure of knowing, and if she was trying to get him to follow her to where Felicity was, then she'd just become the smartest horse he'd ever known, _period_!

"All right, Penny," Ben said encouragingly, gently, holding up his hands in a patient gesture, "I'll come with you, okay? We'll go to where your mistress is, okay?" Then Penny stood still long enough for him to take her rope and swing up onto her back.

As he was doing so, little Nan came running out of the house toward him. "Ben!" she yelled. "Have you seen Felicity? Mother is ever so worried about her!"

"No, Nan, I haven't," he replied, sensing Penny's urgency to get going. "But tell your mother that Penny came home without her, and now I've taken Penny to see if she'll lead me to where Lissie is."

"I will!" Breathless, Nan ran back to the house as fast as her little legs could go. Ben gave Penny's sides a nudge with his heels and held the rope extrememly light, so as to give the mare the freedom to take him wherever she intended. She was not at full speed, but she was quick enough.

_Please, Lissie, don't be with Forsythe! _He was imagining all sorts of things, imagining himself pounding Forsythe into an unrecognizeable pulp, something he'd had a mind to do, anyway. He looked around him, trying to spot her, either standing or, God forbid, lying upon the grass. She'd been wearing a blue everyday dress.

She looked so pretty in blue.

Eventually he realized Penny was taking him to one of the meadows he'd checked earlier. He'd been running, and not up on a horse where extra height would've helped him see better. He called out her name, stretching himself as upright as possible,and looked around frantically.

And then he saw her.

She was lying on the ground on her side, obviously unconscious, an arm stretched out toward her basket, which was overturned and its contents strewn. Ben cried out "_NO!" _and jumped down from Penny's back even before the mare could come to a halt, bolted to her side and was down on his knees in an instant, his heart racing like mad and panic clogging his throat.

"Lissie! Lissie, it's me, Ben!" He shook her urgently. Then he moved her onto her back and brushed the feather soft strands of hair away from her face, and said loudly, "Felicity! Open your eyes and look at me! _Please_! Can you hear me?"

Clearly she couldn't. Instinct told him to check for a heartbeat-Marcus had shown him how to once-so he did just that, placing two fingers against the soft spot along her neck under her jaw.  
Nothing.

"Lissie..." He tried again on the other side of her neck in the same place. There! Weak and slow as it was, it was still a living heartbeat, which gave some measure of hope, but not much: he still had to get her home somehow!

He looked around frantically, and saw no one, not even the rooftop of a nearby house or barn. Blast! Penny stood to the side, watching him with wide, staring eyes. He couldn't possibly lift her onto Penny's back securely._ Good Lord, what do I do! I HAVE to to help her NOW!_ If he ran to get someone-no, he couldn't leave her, it was too risky!

He had only one option. Ben wormed his arms underneath her and lifted her as he rose, finding her more lightweight than he expected, but he would still have trouble getting her on Penny if he tried. So he gripped her close and said to Penny, "I'm sorry I have to leave you here, girl, but I know you understand. I'll come back for you as soon as I can, okay? Watch over Felicity's things." And he strode off as fast as he could, with the limp Felicity in his arms like a boneless doll.

All the way back to the Merriman's house he was heartsick, for she made no noise and no movement on her own. Her face was a ghastly pale. Only a terrible illness could make a person look like that, he knew. He had seen that kind of whiteness on the face of his mother, just before she had died when he had been seven years old. He could never forget it.  
With grim determination he carried her the entire three miles back to the house, never once faltering or slowing his had been sitting on the steps outside, head in her hands, nervously waiting for something, anything to happen, when movement out of the corner of her eye caught her attention, and she uttered a yelp of alarm as she saw Ben Davidson come panting into the yard with her unconscious sister in his arms.

"_Mother!" _she screamed loudly. "MOTHER COME QUICK! HUREEEE!"

Mrs. Merriman burst out of the door, followed by Rose holding Polly. She went straight to Ben, who halted at once but did not let go of Felicity. Mrs. Merriman quickly felt of her daughter's forehead and cheeks and reported in a shaky but firm voice, "She's absolutely burning up with fever! Ben, can you get her upstairs and into her bedchamber?"

"Yes, ma'am!" Ben replied at once, with renewed vigor.

As Mrs. Merriman led the way, she said to Nan, "Nan, watch your brother!" To Rose she said, "Rose, please put Polly down and fetch Mr. Merriman!"

Ben stomped upstairs after Mrs. Merriman, careful not to bang Felicity's head into the wall on his left or get her legs tangled in the stair rail on his right.

He could've carried her forever if he had to.

At least that's how he felt. In Felicity and Nan's room, Mrs. Merriman whipped down the bedsheets and Ben quickly but gently laid her down in the middle of the bed and slipped his arms out from under her. Right away he missed the weight of her in them, missed holding her close to him like that. He swallowed uneasily, watching Mrs. Merriman's fast hands remove the girl's shoes and stockings.  
Without looking up, Mrs. Merriman said quickly, "Ben, in the trunk over there is a clean linen sheet. Please get it out and start ripping it into long strips. I'll need them for making cold compresses."

"Yes, ma'am."

As he did so, he kept his back turned, as Mrs. Merriman was removing mobcap, dress and petticoats from Felicity, who had yet to move or speak. He was deeply frightened for her, for himself and the way he would feel if she were to-_NO! _He mustn't think it! She was NOT going to die. Fevers were capable of passing. _Everyone _got the fevers now and then, and usually they passed in a few days' time.

Sometimes not.

"When you're done over there, Ben-" Mrs. Merriman paused to catch her breath "-could you then _please_ get Dr. Galt?"

"Yes, ma'am, I'm on my way." He didn't look over at Felicity on his way out, for he knew already how ashen she was, how grim the situation had become, and a hard, cold lump of fear had built up in his chest making breathing calmly very difficult. Once outside he was on his way to Dr. Galt's as fast as he could go, glad to be running again, hoping he could run his fear away.

Dr. Galt had not been available, but his apprentice told him where to find Dr. Joseph Sutton, an acquaintance of Galt's, on Nicholson Street, and once again Ben was off in a panic. Dr. Sutton, a pleasant-mannered, black-haired gent of about Mr. Merriman's age, was indeed available, and hurried back to the house with him. By the time they arrived, Rose had returned with Mr. Merriman, who had flown upstairs to see Felicity and his wife, and had left Marcus to close the store.

As Ben dropped into a chair to collect himself, he saw Nan sitting on the floor with William, watching all the adults as they had hurried about. Her eyes were brimming with worry. Little William was oblivious, playing with his blocks. Nan slid over to Ben and looked him in the eye.

"Is it bad, Ben?"

"What do you mean, Nan?" He hoped she wasn't about to ask him what he thought she was going to.

She did. "Is Lissie going to die?" She glanced at William to make sure he hadn't heard her ask.

"N-No, Nan, I don't think so," Ben replied, trying to sound positive and knowing he failed. "But you know Felicity-she isn't one to lie around and feel bad for long!"

Nan looked doubtful. "If she's bad ill then she cannot help it."

She had him there.

Ben had learned that Nan Merriman was quickly becoming the sort to be directly to the point, and the way she looked at a person with those expecting, scrutinizing blue eyes made him feel quite uncomfortable. She could spot a lie if ever a person could, and she knew good and well when someone was only guessing.

Then suddenly he remembered Penny! Quite thankful for something to do other than sit there and feel uncomfortable with Nan and wait for Dr. Sutton's prognosis, he quickly rose and said to Nan, "I left Penny in the field where I found Lissie. If anyone asks for me, please tell them I've gone to fetch her, all right?"

"All right," she sighed.

On the way out, he glanced at the stairway as if he expected someone to come running down with news, but no such luck. No news was good news, right? Somehow that notion didn't give him much comfort, and he left feeling cold and anxious. That hard lump of fear in his chest only seemed to be getting worse.

Penny was, to Ben's relief, exactly where he'd left her. She was grazing upon the grass not too far from Felicity's overturned basket of flowers. Penny went to him, seemingly glad to see him, and he scratched her between the ears. "She'll be okay, Penny," he told her. "She _has _to be."

Without thinking, he picked up the basket and began gathering its strewn contents. It was the least he could do, he thought, even gathering up the wildflowers Felicity had picked, _for her mother, no doubt. _He smiled absently. He saw her diary and ink pot, and as he reached for them, the breeze stirred the pages of the journal and a single word caught his eye: _Ben._

He hesitated, mid-reach. His name was in her journal. _Well, of course it is! I live with her family, we are friends, and we do things together! _His eye wandered, and he saw his name here and there all over the page. In fact, as the breeze stirred other pages, he saw his name dotted elsewhere upon each one!

_No! 'Tis wrong to read a person's private journal! 'Tis disrespectful. I will leave it alone. _A moment passed. _But 'tis my name. She has written concerning _me. _I should perhaps know why!  
What could it hurt?_

He stuffed the journal into his coat pocket hastily, and took hold of Penny's halter-rope. The basket he hung over one arm. During the walk back he was ever so tempted to pull out the journal and read it, wherever he saw his name, but he managed to at least refrain from doing so at that time. Maybe he would change his mind completely and just place the book in the basket in Felicity's room. That _would _be the proper thing to do, after all.

Then again, maybe not.

Downstairs in the Merriman hosehold, an awkward, tense silence was draped like heavy cloth over the evening, as the only person to have emerged from Felicity's bedchamber was Mr. Merriman, who sat in a chair nearest the stairs looking numb and lost in his worry. William had fallen asleep on the sofa and Nan was trying to keep herself occupied with some spare thread and cloth scraps that Rose had given her to try her sewing with. No one felt like eating.

It was late that evening when Dr. Sutton slowly came downstairs, looking tired but hopeful. Both Ben and Mr. Merriman rose from their seats at the same time, with anxious expressions on their faces.  
"Edward..." the doctor began in a non-foretelling tone, "may I speak with you?"

He had meant privately, of course. It didn't give Ben any reassurance to see Sutton put a hand on Mr. Merriman's shoulder and speak words that could not be overheard from where Ben was standing. He saw Mr. Merriman nod as the doctor spoke...but neither man's expression turned grim or pained, so that had to be hopefull.

Didn't it?

When Dr. Sutton left, Ben couldn't keep quiet any longer. He went directly to Mr. Merriman. "How is she, sir?"

Edward Merriman rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. "Not good, Ben."

Ben's heart sank. It showed on his face.

"She has a raging fever, and..." Merriman sighed again, as if trying to cope with the news himself. "And apparently, she has been ill for some time now, no one knows how long. Dr. Sutton claims it is a virus..."

"But he knows how to help her, doesn't he?" Ben looked scared, impatient, his fists clenched in frustration. "I mean, he knows what to do, doesn't he, sir?"

Mr. Merriman couldn't help but be touched by his eager young apprentice's concern. He smiled a little, trying to offer hope when he himself felt frightened. "He's going to try, Ben. He's left Martha with some herbs to mix and the instructions on how to do it. He says there are some books he must consult, and he will get with Dr. Galt on what else they can do-"

"That's _it_?" Ben looked horrified. "That-That's all? Forgive me, sir, but I can't-I cannot believe..." He inhaled sharply, not knowing just how to express his frustration. Breathing deep and fast, he turned away, gaping. Then he felt Mr. Merriman's hand on his shoulder.

"Believe me, Ben, I know how you feel. But I am certain Dr. Sutton knows what he's doing. We attended William and Mary together, you see, and Joseph has always had a head for medicine-he's studied in Boston and abroad. London, I believe..."

Ben wasn't impressed by that. _Where_ a doctor studied was of no matter to him. What he could do to help Felicity _was all that did_.

"We must have hope, Ben. Can you do that? Can you have hope for her, Ben?" Mr. Merriman's blue eyes were pleading.

Ben swallowed with difficulty. "Aye, sir, I can. I _will_."

And then Edward Merriman hugged him, something he'd never done before, but the gesture meant a lot. A father hugging a son. "Now go get some rest, Ben. All you've done today is run about, and I will not have you falling ill as well." He turned away, hiding teary eyes.

"Aye, sir, but I doubt I can sleep. Again Ben glanced at the stairs, expecting someone, something. "But if you need me, sir..."

Mr. Merriman nodded. "I know. Go on."

Ben hesitated, then left for his room in the loft. It seemed to him strange that he was going to the barn when Felicity was inside the house, desperately ill. Glancing up at her bedchamber window he could only see a faint glow of light, for the curtain had been drawn almost completely. What would things be like in the morning? Surely they wouldn't be any worse.

He remembered Felicity's journal in his coat pocket and decided to give in to his curiosity and face the consequences (if there were any) later on. Once in his nightshirt and settled as much as he could be on his cot, he sat the lantern close by and held the journal in his hands as if it held the answers to the secrets of the universe.

_Tis only a journal..._

Aye, Felicity Merriman's journal. The private recordings of a young girl on the doorstep of womanhood. _I shouldn't be doing this, _he thought nervously. _'Tis wrong...But I saw my name. I have to know!_

CHAPTER 8 FINISHED!


	9. Chapter 9 Felicity's Journal

Felicity: An American Girl Romance, Part 1, Chapter 9: Felicity;s Journal

Once again, it's disclaimer time! I own nothing, this is not for profit. Only good (?) old-fashioned romance!

With a deep breath Ben Davidson opened the cover of Felicity Merriman's journal. A dried flower, a wild violet, was pressed between two pages, which made him smile a bit. The first page with words upon it said The Personal Diary of Felicity Naomi Merriman, as begun June 1,1775. He told himself he wasn't going to read each and every page-just the ones that had his name upon them. As if that would be the polite thing to do! His eye skimmed over sentences, looking for his name. Ah, here was something...

It was the entry about when he ran away last summer: _'...and there I found Ben_, _looking wretched and injured_, _with his poor leg bleeding_, _and I wanted to hug him as much as I wanted to scold him for running away_, _the latter of which I did indeed_, _much to my satisfaction!' _And indeed she had! He smiled again. His eyes skimmed on down the page. _'I do not want Ben to leave_. _I fear he will be killed and I will never see him again_. _My life would never be the same_. _In such a short time he has come to mean so much to me_. _He is as dear to me as a friend could ever be_...' He was dear to her! And she did worry about him! His heart jumped. He glanced over her writings about Penny and Elizabeth, her grandfather, the sweet, girlish things about flowers and birds, the birth of Patriot and how happy she had been to share the foal's birth with him. Lessons with Ms. Manderly, the sorrow over losing her grandfather. Off and on he was mentioned in these, but not in the context he was looking for.

There was an entry about Mr. Haskall that caught his eye as well: _'...he is a handsome young man_, _in his twenties I believe_, _which is much older than I_, _but he is nice to know and fascinating to talk to_. _I hope to see him again tomorrow!' _Ben felt a hot spark of jelousy, then read the following entry about her immense disappointment at finding out that Haskall was a spy. _'...and it saddens me to know he would've handed over his map of King's Creek as well! I am heart sick and angry_, _and if I ever set eyes upon him again I will not be able to keep from showing it_! _Ha! _Ben thought victoriously. _Take that_, _Haskall! _Anxiously, he turned pages. There were entries about how annoying Bananbelle Cole was (he laughed out loud), her frustrations with sewing, and the beginning of her feeling sick. There he hesitated. And there he read the entry that would change his life forever:

_'...and perhaps it wouldn't be so bad if I didn't feel this way. I cannot deny it or ignore it. I love Ben. I love Ben Davidson. With all my heart and soul I do. I love him so much it hurts, right down deep in the heart of me, where a body keeps its deepest secrets. I love him, and he is going to leave and be a soldier and be killed. He will be taken from me and never, never know how much I cared for him, how much my heart ached for him. He will never know how I am tormented into madness by nightmares of his death, each and every night. I dread the coming of night, for that means yet another violent situation where my brave, wonderful Ben is killed right in front of my eyes and I am forced to watch as if it is my punishment for loving a soldier. But I cannot stop loving him, even if I wished it and I do not! 'Tis not a fancy! I am NOT like Annabelle Cole, who makes a fool of herself in her tiresome quest to get Ben to notice her so she can snatch him for herself. She fancies him. I do not. Love when it is real is both a bliss and an agony, as it has been for me since the moment I realized I loved him. Will Annabelle miss and pine for him whilst he is gone? Nay, she will not! Will Annabelle pray to Almighty God for his safe return and endure many a sleepless night as I have already done? Nay, she will not! I have cried for ben, prayed for him, offered my life in exchange for his and he hasn't even left! I am so frightened for him! Even if he never knew my feelings for him I would trade that for his safe return. 'I do not assume Ben could love me back. I am not quite so bold as to believe he would. I am gangly and improper, I am unpretty and unladylike, my sewing is attrocious, and my baking is shameful. Nay, Ben would not have me even if I were closer his age. So I must bite my tongue and hold my peace and love him from inside myself. If I do not die from a broken heart then I shall die of grief if he is killed. Oh Ben, if you only knew how much I love you! 'But still, even if Ben knew I loved him, and even if he didn't mind, I know my love would not be enough to keep him safe here, with me.' Staring, Ben Davidson slowly lowered the book. His breathing had gotten rapid as he'd absorbed every word._

She loved him. Felicity Merriman loved him. Not as a brother. More than a friend. She loved him. And he had been the source of her horrible nightmares. Her worry for him, her concern for his very life while he would be away...he was why she sleepwalked. She was so afraid of losing him.  
He was utterly, completely humbled. His heart went out to her, ached for her.

And she loved him.

It was more than he'd expected to find, but in that place she had written about-down deep inside where a body keeps its deepest secrets-it was exactly what he wnted to know.

He didn't read any more that night. He blew out the lantern and laid down in the dark, even though his eyes were still wide open with wonder. _She loves me_! And that thought did not seem strange or forbidden at all. He felt warm and happy with it. _But she is so very ill now...a virus...she was so white_, _she hadn't woke at all...a raging fever_. _Please_, _God_, _don't take her away_..._let her live! I just found out she loves me_..._I must give her my response! _It was quite some time before he fell asleep.

When Ben woke the next morning, he felt like all of yesterday had just been a dream. No one had come to rouse him from sleep, and Felicity's journal still lay next to him on his bed where he'd left it. Even before his eyes were fully open he was reaching for it, to read where she had wrote 'I love Ben Davidson'. He had to make sure he'd really seen that, that his eyes had not decieved him.

_Felicity loves me! She loves_ ME_!_

But the brief flare of joy and wonder that fact gave him was immediately smothered by the fact that Felicity Merriman, the girl who loved him, was very ill and unconscious in the house at this moment. So he dressed quickly in his daily clothes, stuffed the journal into his inner coat pocket, and hurried to the house. Surely there would be news!

But there wasn't. Nan and William were seated at the table in the mini-kitchen, eating day-old biscuits and boiled eggs. William looked sleepy and Nan was quiet and worried. Rose offered him a tired smile as she handed him a plate of warm bacon and boiled eggs when he sat down across from the kids.

"How is she this morning, Rose?" he asked slowly, with anxious eyes.

Rose sighed heavily as she sat down beside William and Nan with a cup of coffee. "Bad, Ben. She's bad off. Fever hasn't broken. She won't wake up. I took turns with Mr. and Mrs. Merriman all night, watchin' her...she just won't wake up. She's as still as a china doll..." Rose shook her scarved head, and there were tears in her dark eyes.

Suddenly, Ben didn't feel like eating.

Nan's pink mouth twisted in her effort to keep from crying. "Why won't she wake up, Rose?"

"I don' know, child. Sometimes when a body gets very ill, it just needs to stay still and sleep awhile..." She sipped her coffee thoughtfully.

"Well Lissie hasn't slept well in a long time...because of her nightmares," Nan said (and Ben felt a sharp pang of guilt). "Do you think she's just needing to sleep?"

"I believe so, little one," Rose told her, and Ben could see that Nan believed her, for Rose held nothing back in her voice or expression. Why should she? Nan would've picked up on it easily if she had.

A weary-looking figure ambled into the mini-kitchen. Mr. Merriman looked deeply troubled and tired from lack of sleep as he poured himself a cup of coffee. He was still clad in yesterday's rumpled clothes. He rubbed the back of his neck and drank his coffee quietly.

"Sir?" Ben wasn't sure if his master felt like talking to anyone or not, especially after such an apparently long stressful night, but Ben was all but squirming for news. "How is she-Felicity-um, is she-"

"The same," Edward Merriman replied softly. He turned to Ben with a drained expression but a kind smile. "Thank you for asking, Ben. I don't suppose you and Marcus could handle the store by yourselves for a while this morning?"

Ben straightened immediately, all business. "Of course, sir. All day if you need us to, so that you could stay here, sir."

Mr. Merriman had poured another cup to take to his wife. As he passed Ben on the way out of the room he said gently, "You are a good lad, Ben Davidson. I just may need you to do that, at least until Dr. Sutton has returned."

Ben stared after him for a moment, wishing he could go see Felicity as well. Would they even let him see her? And what could he say or do to help her if they did? There was quiet in the little room now, aside from the dull thumps William made as he absently kicked the table leg.

"I best be gettin' back up there," Rose sighed, rising slowly. "Nan, be a good gentlewoman for your momma and keep watch over William, will you?" "I will, Rose," Nan said somberly.

Ben stared at his plate. How could he eat when so much worry and fear was pressing down on them all? The silence was awful. The depressing stillness downstairs was unbearable. He decided quickly to go open the store and get busy, for waiting any longer for news was maddening. He felt the gentle weight of Felicity's journal in his inner pocket as he rose from his seat and felt a sense of encouragement with it. He was carrying around her thoughts and feelings, and she loved him.

Felicity Merriman loved him.

He was feeling really good about knowing that, and hopeful that she would indeed wake up and recover, when he stopped just short of the entryway-Mr. Merriman and Mrs. Merriman were standing there at the foot of the stairs, holding one another, embracing tightly.

Ben gulped and stepped back, eyes wide.

"Oh Edward," Mrs. Merriman sried softly, her voice hardly audible from her husband's shoulder. "She's so pale! How can I give her the herbs when she will not wake up? Edward...we are losing her!"

NO! No, no, no!

Martha Merriman's soft sobs came anew, Mr. Merriman stroked her back and murmered something Ben couldn't catch, even strained to hear everything as he was. His mouth went dry with panic. His pulse had quickened considerably. They were believing Felicity was dying! No, surely not! She couldn't be! He clenched his fists at his sides. Felicity Merriman was a strong girl! She loved life and living! She would never give up without a fight!

"We must be strong, darling," Mr. Merriman said with an affectinate firmness. "As long as there is life in her..."

_Exactly! _Ben exclaimed in his thoughts. Fear had gripped him again and he faught to focus on hope. Felicity always had hope for others-could they not do the same for her?

There was a rapid knocking on the door. Mr. Merriman gave his wife's shoulders a squeeze, and with a deep breath, turned to answer it, as Martha quietly picked up her steaming cup of coffee and wearily headed back upstairs, not willing to face whoever had come.

"Morning, Edward," Dr. Sutton said quickly as he entered the house, removing his tricorn hat. With him was Dr. Galt. "Has she woken yet?"

"No," Mr. Merriman told them, shaking his head dismally. "Nor has the fever broken."

"Then we must see her right away," said Dr. Galt, tucking his hat under an arm. "Joseph and I have been consulting the books and we have decided on a course of action that we hope will..." His voice had become faded as the three men started upstairs, their shoes clomping on the steps, further preventing the eavesdropping apprentice from comprehending any more.

_The doctors will help her_. _They _have _to_, _'tis their job! _Ben slowly emerged from around the wall, gazing up at the stairs as if expecting to see someone, but there was no one there. Muted voices and footsteps could be heard in Felicity's bedchamber above. What was going on up there now? They had to be helping her. They had to!

Ben sighed. He needed to go open the store and do his job. 'Twas expected of him. Lingering here any longer would not speed up the arrival of news. He could worry just as well at the store as he could here at the house. At the door he paused, looking at the ceiling where Felicity's bedchamber would be upstairs. Don't die, Lissie, he thought fearfully. Please wake up and...and tell me you love me. With a heavy heart, he left.

Ben found himself being a bit on the absent-minded side this morning, having measured out salt instead of sugar for one customer, and wrapping ribbons instead of tobacco for another. Even his quiet appologies were absent mumbles. It wasn't his usual absent-mindedness, though. He was gravely worried about Felicity, and now being away from the house was bearing heavily upon his nerves. At least at the house he could be near her.

Nearer to the girl that loved him.

As soon as the store was temporarily empty of customers, he took Felicity's journal out of his inner coat pocket and flipped through it, there at the counter. He was looking for where he'd left off, but instead got distracted by yet another entry that had his name dotted across the page:

_'...so Elizabeth and I went walking out by Miller's Pond. There, much to our surprise and delight, were a gang of young boys, all jumping into the water and swimming and having great fun, splashing about. Oh how I wish we girls could go swimming on a day such as this! The boys looked like they were having a great time of it! Ben was among them, as was Walter Wheaton and three other lads I did not recognize, and they were all clad in nothing but their breeches. Elizabeth hid her eyes and went on about how improper it was to spy upon naked young men during their swim, but she was giggling quite a bit as she said as such, and I do believe there was a crack between her fingers for her to peep through! Besides, the boys were not naked, as they were in breeches, as I've said afore, and we were quite concealed in the shrubery, so we were unnoticed by the lads._  
_'But 'twas not the other boys my eyes were inclined to watch. My eyes are only for Ben, for he is the most handsome of boys, and his form is the finest! His arms are strong, and from lifting so many sacks of flour and oats at the store, no doubt! His shoulders are strong, too, and for such a skinny lad his musculature is like a fine sculpture! He will be a most fitting soldier! So tall, with such arms! He was completely soaked from head to foot from his swim with his long brown hair wet upon his shoulders, and I could not catch my breath, for he stood in the knee-high water laughing at someone with his hands upon his lean hips, seeming to me like a dahing, bare-chested young pirate! All he lacked was a long shiny sword at his side. How magnificent a lad my soldier-Ben is! Such a young Adonis! And I cannot help but feel unworthy, for I am still little, gangly, improper, unpretty Felicity Merriman, with awful red hair that will not stay put, who rides astride a horse and would rather be fishing than sewing. No wonder my Ben will never love me! He might actually start to like Bananabelle Cole, for though she is a snob, she is still pretty and I am not._  
_'And if Ben decides to court Annabelle Cole, then I shall jump into Miller's pond and drownd myself'_

_Wow!_ thought Ben wildly. _She was there at the swimming hole watching us that day! And she thinks I'm handsome! Ohwowohwowohwow! Oh Lissie_! _Felicity Merriman_, _you sneaky little faerie! You sweet_, _wonderful_, _patriot girl! You beautiful_-

"Hey Ben!" a cheerful voice called out, causing Ben to jump where he stood and nearly drop the journal. It was Walter, grinning most amusedly at him. "That must be some book you're reading, there, old man! What is it, one of those French naughty novels?" He wiggled his fingers mischieviously. "One of those adventure books about ladies of leisure? Lemme see it!"

"NO!" Ben blurted, hastily snatching Felicity's diary away from Walter's reach. He quickly stuffed it under a bolt of fabric under the counter. "It was just a-it's just a-it's my, um, journal."

Walter raised his eyebrows, his good-natured but goofy grin widening. "Oh, I see," he taunted lightly, not believing a word the stammering apprentice just said. "Why, you just looked so absolutely enthralled, I must assume you were re-reading your latest entry about the enchanting Annabelle Cole-"

"Will you shut up?" Ben growled, looking hotly annoyed. "It's none of your business what I was reading! What brings you by, anyway?"

"Oh, I was just out running errands for Mr. Ramsey." Walter's bright smile faded. "I wanted to know...you know, if it was true...that Felicity was bad ill?"

Ben stiffened and looked extremely worried. "Aye," he affirmed quietly. With a hint of suspicion, he asked, "How did you know?"

"Mother was in Galt's apothecary this morning when his apprentice said Galt was unavailable, something about having to assist Dr. Sutton with the Merriman girl, and, well, I knew she hadn't been feeling well-"

Ben stared at him, surprised. "You knew Felicity wasn't feeling well?"

"I figured that out at the social." Walter looked at Ben curiously. "You didn't know?"

"I suspected..." Ben heaved a troubled sigh. "But I didn't know she was this ill."

"That bad, huh?"

Ben nodded grimly.

"Well, now that Mother knows, all of Williamsburg will know by this evening, you know how she is. She'll be telling everyone to pray for Edward Merriman's pretty Felicity."

Ben felt a flash of stinging jelousy at Walter, a brief flare-up of annoyance. Walter Wheaton was a good friend, on the patriot side and very likeable, but his sudden interest in Felicity was beginning to irritate Ben very much. Once again, Ben thought of Felicity's written words, 'I love Ben Davidson', and couldn't help but feel smugly superior. If only Walter knew!

"Look, Ben," Walter began, stuffing his hands into his coat pockets awkwardly, "if you see Felicity later-if, maybe, you get the chance...will you tell her that my family is praying for her, and that...that I wish her well?"

Ben didn't realize just how hard he was glaring. "I don't know if I'll be seeing her or not. Mr. and Mrs. Merriman and their house servant are busy going in and out, tending to her."

Walter bit his bottom lip. "But if you do get a chance you will tell her, right?"

_Blast it all_, _Walter! The girl's sick! And she's not interested in_ you_, anyway_. _She loves ME! She said so in her diary_! But Ben (reluctantly) sighed and mumbled, "Sure, Walt, I'll tell her if I can."

Walter grinned. "Thanks, Ben. I hope it will make her feel better, knowing that I'm thinking about her. See you later, then."

Ben frowned. As Walter left, he felt another knot of frustration and jelousy weighing like a rock in his chest. Why, he wouldn't say a word to Felicity about Walter's message if he got to see her! Why give her a chance to contemplate another boy's interest in her when she loved her soldier-Ben!

He was eagerly reaching for the journal again, to read more about her feelings for him, when the door's bell rang out loudly, and he had to control his disappointment and frustrations to assist the elderly fellow that had come in. But even as the old gent was going on about carved pipes, Ben's mind was wandering to where Felicity had commented about being impressed with his fine bare-chested physical appearance. He was ususally shy, but knowing all of this that came from the mind of Felicity Merriman had him smiling quite uncontrollably and feeling like quite the man, when his elderly customer interrupted his strutting thoughts to point out that Ben was showing him a lady's comb instead of the pipes he'd requested.

Ben Davidson did not get another chance to open Felicity's diary (though he did put it back into his inner coat pocket securely), for around noon, Mr. Merriman sauntered in, looking more forlorn than ever. Without a word, Mr. Merriman went straight back into his office and closed the door halfway. Ben and Marcus exchanged nervous looks, and Ben gathered up his courage to go to the door and gently knock.

"Sir?" When there was no reply, a cold streak of fear swept through him and despite a dry throat, he gulped. "Sir, may I come in?"

"Aye, Ben," came the glum reply. "Come in."

When Ben slowly pushed the door open, he saw his master sitting at his desk, hands rubbing his face as if trying to work circulation back into his cheeks. Ben had never seen him look more stressed or, much to Ben's alarm, frightened. And Edward Merriman rarely, if ever, showed signs of fear-one of the many things the young apprentice had always admired about his master. 'Twas Mr. Merriman, no doubt, that Felicity got her bravery from Ben had decided a while back.

"Is...is there any news, sir?"

Edward Merriman leaned back in his chair, hands dropping to his lap in exhaustion. He contemplated his apprentice's anxious, worried face, and for one, brief moment felt genuinely touched by the lad's pressing concern. But the reality of his eldest daughter's failing health came over his face like a pale shadow and he sighed with resignation.

"She will not wake up to take the herbs. She's weak and..." He swallowed with difficulty. "And getting weaker every few hours. Dr. Galt refuses to bleed her-it would...be the end of her." He rose and turned toward the window, rubbing his face again, but to conceal his sudden tear-filled eyes. A deadly silence filled the room, and Ben stared at the wooden floor as if the air had been knocked out of him.

"It-it just happened so fast, Ben," Mr. Merriman continued, his back still turned. "Joseph and Dr. Galt do not know what it is she has. Apparently, there are many kinds of fevers..." He cleared his throat in an effort to get a grip on his emotions. "But she's getting worse. We're losing her, Ben."

"No! She can't-but she-" Ben looked around, helpless, shocked. Horrified. "No, sir, Felicity can't die! She can't!"

Mr. Merriman breathed deeply. After a horrible moment of tense silence, he turned around. Tears glistened in his sad blue eyes. "Felicity wouldn't be the first child Martha and I have lost to an illness," he said, in as flat a tone as he could manage. Seeing Ben's utterly shocked face, he dropped back into his chair.

"Sir?" Ben gulped.

"Before Lissie, Martha and I had a son. Martha was very excited to have given me a son as our first child-she insisted that we name him after me. Edward Martin Merriman, Jr." He smiled a little, recalling his wife's enthusiasm. "And I, too, was so excited that I indulged her." He hesitated, looking lost in memory. "But he was only with us six months before...before fever took him from us."

Ben's mouth was moving, but it took him a moment to find his voice. "I-I'm sorry, sir."

Mr. Merriman nodded absently. "He's buried in the family cemetary at King's Creek. None of the other children know about him."

"N-Not even Felicity?" Ben asked in a hushed tone.

"No, not even Lissie. For Martha and myself, it used to be too painful to speak of, so we kept it just between us...and now you."

"But sir...why tell me?"

Mr. Merriman sighed again, as if all the weariness in the world had settled upon his shoulders. "I don't know, Ben...to speak of it, of little Edward now, with Lissie so close to death...We're told that not all of our children were meant to survive to be adults, that its just a part of life and the world we live in...but even when you've experienced the loss of a child, you're never really prepared for the loss of another." And with that he dropped his head into a hand and shook it mournfully.

Ben was reeling mentally. He, too, was struggling with his own fearful emotions. "I'm so sorry, sir, for your loss...but Felicity won't die. She won't leave us! She can't!" He whirled, fighting his raging sorrow, and strode out quickly. He heard the door bell ring out and was immediately grateful to have a customer to tend to. He wiped at his eyes and forced himself to be calm.

In a little while, Mr. Merriman emerged from his office looking no better, no worse, but announced the store would be closing early to the few surprised customers that were in there. Due to his eldest daughter's serious illness, he could not give his customers the attention they deserved, so he would be closing temporarily until further notice. The women in the store were kind and offered him their prayers, and left in hushed whispers. The men were understanding and left looking sympathetic.

When the store was empty Mr. Merriman turned to Ben and Marcus standing behind the counter, the both of them looking forlorn. "Let's go home now."

Neither Ben nor Mr. Merriman said anything on the walk home, and Marcus knew not what to say at all. The summer sun beat down upon them in the early afternoon, but none of them felt it. The grimness of Felicity's situation made tham feel cold and detatched from the rest of the world. They passed a small group of Virginia Continental soldiers, and Ben didn't even notice.

To make matters worse, upon arriving at the Merriman house, they noticed right away a familiar and bothersome figure standing at the front door talking to a greatly bothered-looking Rose, who being a colored house servant, could not express her irritation outright. She glanced up and saw Ben, Marcus and Mr. Merriman approaching and gave them a pleading look.

Mr. Merriman's expression turned hard. As he glared at Reginald Forsythe, he said kindly to Rose, "Rose, you look like you could use a good rest, so why don't you and Marcus go ahead and look after yourselves for awhile, and I'll handle our visitor."

"Thank you Mr. Merriman!" Rose exclaimed with an undeniable, irrepressible relief. She immediately turned from the door frame and followed Marcus into the house.

Reginald Forsythe raised his chin and stared at the heavily glaring Mr. Merriman and his brooding apprentice. He ddn't seem to be the slightest bit intimidated by their cold, unfriendly stares. Ben's breathing had become rapid with anger and Mr. Merriman had set his jaw.

"What do you want, Forsythe?" Mr. Merriman made a point of sounding intolerant and impatient. "Do bear in mind that I have no time or generosity for you anymore."

"You might when you hear what I have to say, Mr. Merriman," Forsythe replied in his quick, quirky manner. He tucked his tricorn hat under his left arm. "Upon hearing the news of your Felicity's illness, I have come fully prepared to offer you the services of Mama's personal physician and apothecary, Dr. Brunswick. He is the best in his area of study and has been attending Mama for years now." His thin lips spread in a smug smile. "He is the best."

"Oh really?" challenged Ben menacingly. "And just what do you expect in return, Forsythe, her hand in marrige?"

The young lord's chin came up a little more. "Say what you will, Mr. Davidson, but-" he looked directly at Mr. Merriman and drawled, "I assure you I have only Miss Felicity's best interest at heart."

"Sure you do." Ben folded his arms. "I'll wager anything you think you're gonna-"

"Ben," Mr. Merriman interjected stiffly, "will you please go on in and see how Felicity is doing?" When Ben hesitated uncertanly, glaring at Forsythe with eyes full of loathing, Mr. Merriman gave him a nudge. "Go on, Ben. 'Tis all right. I have the matter in hand." As Ben reluctantly passed, narrowed brown eyes locked with small glittering hazel ones. Forsythe smirked. Ben stepped inside, cursing to himself. But as he was closing the door, he hesitated and left it open the tiniest of cracks and put his ear to it.

"Mr. Forsythe," Mr. Merriman was saying sternly, "I've been made aware of your behavior at the summer social and your actions with my daughter when she collapsed yesterday."

Forsythe raised an eyebrow. "An honest account from your apprentice, no doubt," he muttered tightly.

One of Ben's fists clenched instinctively.

"My apprentice would not fabricate stories about such a thing. The point is that you've made yourself not only a nuisance to my daughter, but to the rest of us as well, and you refuse to let Felicity alone when I, her father, have specifically given you word to. I mean to appeal to your Aunt Lucinda, and the Committee of Safety if need be, to put a stop to your harassment, and believe me, Mr. Forsythe, the Committee does not look very kindly upon Loyalists!"

Forsythe blanched, but stood his ground. "Mr. Merriman, I have come here to offer my help and my services, wishing only to save Felicity's life by any means necessary, and I would think that, being her father, you would accept any and all resources available to you. Felicity is-she is important to me. She is among the few curteous souls I have encountered here since my arrival, and I am grateful for her kindness and friendship. Will you not accept my help?"

Mr. Merriman edged between Forsythe and the door, laying a hand upon the doorknob (Ben backed away some, but continued to strain to listen). "No, Forsythe, I won't. I cannot. You've proven yourself too untrustworthy. I don't trust your motives. And now, whether or not you will excuse me, I have a gravely ill daughter who may or may not already be dead!"

Ben bolted upstairs like an antsy squirrell as Mr. Merriman hastilly pushed in, then shut the door loudly. At the top of the stairs Ben panted, collected himself, then went to Felicity's bedchamber door. It was ajar, and there was silence within. That awful silence! His anger at Forsythe was quickly replaced by trembling fear for what he would see if he pushed the door on open. _Don't be dead_, _Lissie_. _Please_, _please_, _please don't be dead! We need you_. _I need you_! _I need to hear you say you love me and_ I _need to tell you that I-that I...oh Lissie!_

He was peeping through the space in the door. There she was, lying in the middle of her bed, with a cold cloth upon her forehead. He couldn't see much of her closed eyelids, but what he could see of her face was as white as chalk. His heart fell heavily. Her crimson hair was fanned out upon the pillow, contrasting sharply with the white of the bedsheets and her skin. Her arms were motionless at her sides, and she was uncovered, being only in her thin shift. Her pale lips were parted, and he could hear her disturbing, raspy breathing.

But she was still breathing! Indeed, her chest rose and fell, but it was ever so slow. She lay there like a limp doll, as Rose had described her. It was an unsettling sight, rattling Ben Davidson from head to foot. Martha Merriman sat in a chair on the further side of the bed, eyes rimmed red from tears, face pale with worry for her daughter's life.

A heavy hand on Ben's right shoulder made him jump and gasp. It was Mr. Merriman, sans coat and hat. He peered past Ben into the room.

"She's still alive, sir," Ben breathed softly. "There is still hope!"

"But for how much longer, Ben?" Mr. Merriman's gaze went to his wearied wife. "Forsythe's gone. Nan and William are napping, and Rose has Polly. Go get something to eat, Ben. I need to be with Martha awhile." He moved past Ben into the room, further opening the door.

Mrs. Merriman rose and flew into her husband's arms. They hugged quietly, and Ben decided it best to let them alone. He spared Felicity a sad, wishful look and turned away.

Leaving the Merriman house, Lord Reggie Forsythe's brain was a mad whirl of questions, all about the best way to gain access to his angel. She was gravely ill. His help, which he had already concluded would've been he best available in these God-forsaken colonies, had been unexpectedly rejected by the girl's father, and he was thoroughly insulted. But he was not, by any means, willing to give up. He'd get to her somehow! If only he could get Mr. Merriman to see that he and Felicity got on well, that they were a perfect match! He had a good mind to send his Dr. Brunswick to Felicity anyway, and then they would see how deeply concerned he was for her!

Do not go and die, Felicity, he thought desperately. I need you to live, I need you to live for ME! We are destined... This he was sure of.

Dr. Sutton returned that evening alone, and Ben watched him climb the stairs after the wearied Mr. Merriman and his wife. Nan lowered her stitching a moment as she, too, listened to the hushed voices of the grown-ups as they headed upstairs. She exchanged a grim look with Ben. On the floor at Nan's feet, William was marching his wooden animals up their wooded plank and into the toy ark, totally oblivious.  
A few minutes later, Mr. Merriman was back down, his face blank as he went for the mini-kitchen. Ben faught the instant urge to jump up and go after him, to ask about Felicity. The last thing he wanted was to become a pest, so he settled for knowing that if the worst had happened, everyone in the house would've known it by now. He slumped back into the chair, folded his arms, and stared at the floor unhappily.

How strange the Merriman household had become in the past twenty-four hours. Without Felicity's presence downstairs, the usual cheer and vibrancy seemed to have been sucked right out of the air. There was only silence and the blanket of fear weighing heavily upon everyone, threatening to suffocate them all. It was a cruel, mocking glimpse into how unbearable life would be without Felicity. It would be like all joy, all hope, all light would be snuffed out like a delicate candle's flame in a cold gust of wind. It would be a sadness none of them would be able to bear.

As Mr. Merriman came through the room with yet another cup of coffee, he met Dr. Sutton coming downstairs. The doctor looked quite uncomfortable. Ben just couldn't stay put-he rose immediately and stared at the doctor. His seventeen year old heart plummeted when he saw Sutton put a hand on Mr. Merriman's shoulder. "We've known each other a long time, Edward," Sutton sighed stressfuly. "So you know that I would never be anything but honest with you."

Mr. Merriman nodded slowly, knowing this indeed to be true. Ben held his breath.

"Your daughter's fever does not show any signs of breaking. The next twenty-four to forty-eight hours will be critical. If she does not wake within that time..." He trailed off, leaving the obvious unspoken but well understood. He inhaled deeply. "I think you should... prepare yourselves."

Ben gaped, looking very much like he'd just been shot in the gut with a pistol. Nan burst into quiet tears, and William stopped playing to stare at her. Mr. Merriman swallowed hard and nodded again, even slower. When he spoke, his voice was thick and clogged with emotion. "I see. Thank you, Joe."

Dr. Sutton looked sympathetic. "I will be back tomorrow."

Ben strode to the bottom of the stairs and stared up. No one was there, which for a moment startled him, but he clenched his fists at his sides and said, "Felicity is not going to die! She's not!"

"Ben..." Mr. Merriman began softly, but Ben didn't want to hear it. He clomped upstairs determinedly. He had to see Felicity! Mrs. Merriman had to let him. He was her friend, surely they wouldn't object! But he had to see her, he had to let her know he was there and that he wanted her to live and that.

That he loved her.

It was important, now more than ever. Nothing else mattered. Not the war, not age, not anyone else's opinion. Not Forsythe and not Walter Wheaton. Only Felicity.

CHAPTER 9 DONE!


	10. Chapter 10 Ben's Plea

_**Felicity: An American Girl Romance Part 1, CH 10: Ben's Plea**_  
Disclaimer thingie: I own nothing. I know nothing. I can prove both.

Outside Felicity's bedchamber door, Mrs. Merriman was crying softly upon Rose's shoulder and Rose was patting her with the care and affection of a sister. Ben swallowed his own throat-lump of emotion and asked boldly, "Mrs. Merriman, may I please see Felicity? Please, you have to let me-"

"Yes, Ben, yes," Mrs. Merriman sniffed miserably. "For a few minutes."

Ben wasn't about to waste any time. Without another word he stepped past the two women and into Felicity's bedchamber, gently closed the door nearly completely together. Tight-chested panic swelled inside him as he looked at her lying there helplessly in her bed, unmoving except for the slow, slight rise and fall of her chest. The only solid proof that she yet lived. The room's frightful silence was taunting.

He moved to the side of her bed nearest her window and stared down at her, with nervousness and fear etched upon his face and plain in his young brown eyes. "Lissie," he whispered urgently, and his fingers nudged her soft, limp hand laying at her side. "Lissie, it's me, Ben. You have to hear me-I need you to hear me. Please..." His lips were dry. He moistened them quickly. "Please hear me."

She did not move. There was no inclination that she could hear him at all. Almost concealed by the damp cloth on her forehead, her eyelids were still.

He had heard of people being unconscious and still able to hear things and people around them. For whatever reason, they just were not able to respond. Like being asleep and yet awake. Ben could not imagine what it must be like to be in such a state of existence, but he had to hope that she could hear him. He _had _to. Nothing else mattered.

"Don't die, Lissie," he told her desperately, feeling that forlorn lump of emotion clog up his throat. "Don't-don't leave me! I know-I know 'tis not fair to ask that of you when I'm about to leave you and your family for the war, but I _will _come back to you, Lissie. I swear it! But I need you to be here. I need you! You-you're my very best friend, my-my-" Tears had sprung to his eyes. He couldn't control it.

He clasped her hand in both of his. It was so limp, so soft and warm, and like it contained no bones at all and was made of velvet. He squeezed it with urgency. "_Hear me, Lissie! _You can't die! You have to be brave and fight the fever-you have to fight like a patriot soldier and not give up! You're a fighter-you know how you tell me you wish you could go with me and fight the British? Well, use that fight in you to get better, Lissie! Because so many people love you and need you!" He gulped. "_I _need you! _I love you!"_

There, it was out! And it felt good to say it, too. He fully expected her to react, to respond, to give an indication of some sort to acknowledge she'd heard his declaration. But there was no response at all. Not so much as even a twitch.

"Did you hear me? I said I love you, Felicity Merriman! I need to know you understand that. I need you to wake up and tell me that you love _me_. Please? I need to hear you say it! Now fight this, Lissie. Fight for _me_!"

Minutes passed.

With no response forthcoming, he leaned down over her and kissed her white cheek. He let his warm lips linger as long as he dared before straighening. At that moment, her bedchamber door opened and Rose beckoned to him urgently. He looked down at Felicity with sad, pleading eyes, then slowly moved away, lowering her small hand back to its place at her side.

Rose beckoned again, and Ben went to her. "Ben, that dreadful Forsythe fellow has sent his momma's doctor to our door and Mr. Merriman is down there trying to tell him he aint needed, and lil' William just wont stop cryin'!"

Ben hadn't heard anyone knock on the door, but then he'd been very busy concentrating on Felicity. He _did_, however, hear William yowling quite clearly now.

"Mrs. Merriman just _had _to lay down awhile, and I got my hands full with watchin' after Miss Polly and Miss Lissie, so could you please-"

"Yes! Yes, of course, say no more," Ben interjected willingly. He looked over his shoulder once more at the silent, still Felicity, then quickly followed Rose out of the room._ Damn that Forsythe! _he thought angrily. _I ought to teach him the meaning of the word NO in a way he cannot misunderstand..._

In the eerie stillness of Felicity Merriman's bedchamber, a soft groan sounded from the motionless young girl lying in the middle of the bed. And then, in barely an audible whisper, " _Ben_?"

-The next morning brought no change, for the better or the worse. Ben had dressed quickly and gone into the house, only to find it nearly empty: Mrs. Merriman was tending to Felicity, Rose had Polly, William, and Nan out in the big kitchen, and according to Rose, Mr. Merriman had gone to see Dr. Sutton early because he couldn't sleep or stay still. Ben understood completely.  
He brushed, fed and led the horses out to graze in the Merriman's adjoining little meadow, and was about to clean the stables when he met Elizabeth at the gate. She was carrying a covered silver pot with two handles. She looked almost afraid to speak.

"Elizabeth?" Ben asked uncertainly, for the girl's eyes had smears of purple underneath-an obvious sign of sleeplessness that Ben was getting to know well. 'Twas present on Mr. and Mrs. Merriman, Felicity while she'd been getting sicker, and this morning upon Ben Davidson himself, for he'd been reading Felicity's diary all night.

Elizabeth bit her bottom lip, blinked nervously, and said in a near-whisper, "Is-is she-?"

"No," Ben said softly. "'Tis like she's just...lingering. She gets weaker, but...she's still holding on." The amount of emotional strain in his voice made Elizabeth's eyes fill with tears. Ben looked down at her silver pot.  
She seemed to have forgotten it, that she was holding on to it tightly. "Oh! I-I brought Felicity some bread pudding. I made it myself-with Mama's help, of course. But...she likes bread pudding..."

Ben nodded.

"I heard it's a fever," Elizabeth continued awkwardly. "A-a virus-fever."

"Aye." They stood there, neither one of them wanting to delve into the prospect of losing their best friend. The thought taunted them wretchedly. Ben cleared his throat uncomfortably. "You can take that to the kitchen around back and give it to Rose if you like. I know Felicity would-" He choked back the lump of emotion rising in his windpipe. "She would appreciate it very much, Elizabeth."

Elizabeth nodded and started past him. Ben was ready to go to the barn, but something he'd been meaning to find out about popped into his head, and he turned around to ask, "Elizabeth, may I ask you something?"

"Aye," she replied, looking back at hm worriedly.

"A few days ago, before Felicity collapsed...there was an argument in the store between your sister and Lissie. What happened?"

Elizabeth sighed drearily. "Lissie simply had all of Annabelle she could take. I agree that Annabelle needs to be put in her place, but I didn't want it to happen like that, in public, you know...and for a moment I was angry at Felicity for telling her off like that. But I could see Lissie was in such a horrible state-oh Ben, she looked like a spirit! I couldn't be mad at her then, I just couldn't! I should have stopped her from leaving the store. I'm sorry!"

"'Tis not your fault, Elizabeth," Ben told her somberly. "She was, _is_, very sick. She would have collapsed right there in the store I believe. She probably wasn't even aware of her own actions."

"Aye," Elizabeth agreed sadly. "Mayhaps not, Ben."

They went seperate ways then, each engaged in their own troubled beliefs about what they couldv'e done to have helped Felicity. In the end there was only frustration and fear. Though they were young, Ben and Elizabeth were both familiar with the devestations of sickness that could not be helped or avoided, nor understood. With Ben Davidson haunted by the passing of his mother and Elizabeth Cole recalling the startling horror of how fast one of her mother's sisters helplessly succombed to 'the fevers' not long before the Coles left England, it was little consolation to think that maybe this time would be different. If it was God's will, there was nothing either one of them could do to keep from losing this girl they both loved so very much.

With her mother's permission, Elizabeth stayed to sit with Felicity, change her forehead cloths and attempt to rouse her. This in turn gave Mrs. Merriman a much-needed break. Ben was here and there, fetching well-water, chopping wood, weeding the garden-whatever he could think of to keep busy since the store was not open today.

With word of Felicity's illness having spread like a wildfire all over Williamsburg, the concerned well-wishers came, one right after the other, mostly women bearing pots of soup or cakes thick with icing. Mr. Merriman's most loyal customers, men from the Committee of Safety, Mr. Haverty and Mr. Bagwell were included, with their wives bringing pots. It was all a bit overwhelming, and at the same time endearing to know so many people cared about Felicity.

Around three in the afternoon there was yet another knock on the Merriman's front door. Mr. Merriman looked at the exasperated Rose and muttered outright, "If that's another pot of chicken soup I swear I'll-"

"_I'll _see to it, sir!" Ben jumped up from the table in the mini-kitchen where he, Rose, and Mr. Merriman were gathered, with Rose watching over Polly sleeping in her cradle, Mr. Merriman downing more coffee, and Ben trying to eat a plate of green beans without much success, since it seemed even food had lost its allure with Felicity so sick. Elizabeth, Nan and Mrs. Merriman were upstairs with her now, and Ben couldn't help but wonder if Felicity had heard any of the things he'd said to her yesterday afternoon.

It would be wonderful if she had.

"Hello...Arthur Pratt," Ben said when he opened the front door and saw the beaming, twinkly-eyed young man standing there. Arthur had a handful of purple flowers tied together with a blue ribbon in one hand, and the other hand held tightly to his side (what else?) a white pot.

"Greetings, young Benjamin!" Arthur exclaimed. "Elizabeth had enlightened me as to the severe condition of our friend Felicity, so I have come armed to the hilt with a pot of my Mama's very finest-"

"Chicken soup," finished Ben, with a sigh and a thin smile.

"Why, how did you know?" Arthur's blond eyebrows went up in mild surprise.

"I, uh, could, uh, smell it." Ben didn't want to offend the happy young man and his generosity. He stepped back. "Come in, Arthur."

When Arthur stepped in, he inhaled fully. "My goodness-gosh! My soup smells stronger inside than out!"

Ben was trying to figure out how to reply to this when Elizabeth appeared at the top of the stairs. "Arthur!" she yelped, her worried face turning softly happy. "I thought I heard your voice!"

"Aye, 'tis I!" His lively blue eyes lit up as she came down the stairs. Without breaking his gaze at her, he unthinkingly (and quite comically) thrust the pot at Ben's gut and held his bunch of purple flowers out to her. "These are for you!"

"Oh, Arthur, how dear of you!" She accepted them gratefully. "Hyacinths, too. Thank you."

Arthur was beyond pleased. "Dear Elizabeth, do give us a report on the condition of our friend!"

Ben, too, looked at Elizabeth.

Elizabeth looked forlorn again. "She won't open her eyes, Arthur, and her fever will not break." She glanced at Ben, then addded, "Sometimes it seems like she's on the verge of waking up or saying something, but then she doesn't. We...we must not give up."

"Nay, we will not!" Arthur affirmed. "For I have a simply _delicious _idea for a joke that the three of us must put our heads together on, and it would require all of us to be well!"  
Elizabeth chuckled. "Felicity would be delighted."

For a moment, Ben Davidson felt a pang of regret for his wanting to join the army. Here was Elizabeth, Arthur, and Felicity becoming such a close-knit trio of comedians right before his very eyes, and he felt unincluded, left out. But he had no one to blame but himself, for 'twas of his own free will that he was opting to leave. Still, he envied their closeness.

He swallowed with effort. "Elizabeth, we have a vase if you would like to put your flowers in water, and Arthur, if you would like to have some cake, we got more than enough..."

"Oh yes! A right-thinking fellow never turns down cake!" He offered his arm to Elizabeth and they followed Ben, who, as he lead them back into the mini-kitchen, couldn't help but smile despite the depression upon him. Damned if that Arthur Pratt wasn't the most likeable fellow he'd ever met!

When Ben brought them into the room, Arthur's jaw dropped open when he saw all of the pots amassed from well-wishers sitting on tables. On top of the pots were more pots. Arthur cleared his throat. "'Twould seem you are well stocked with soup already!"

"The cakes are out in the big kitchen," Ben told him. "I will fetch you some."

"I'll go with you," Rose sighed, making sure Polly was still asleep before she went out. "William has already put his face into two of 'em."

"At least he's occupied," Mr. Merriman mumbled.

"Shall I clean him up for you?" Elizabeth offered brightly. Never having had a little brother, Elizabeth found William a dear little imp.

Rose smiled gently. "If'n you want to, Miss Elizabeth, but Miss Nan's already offered to lick the icing off his chubby little cheeks if need be."

Rubbing his forehead, Mr. Merriman smiled the slightest bit.

Seeing the strained faces about him, and nearly being overwhelmed by fear of the worst hanging over the house, Arthur Pratt clasped his hands behind his back and stepped over to Mr. Merriman. "Mr. Merriman, sir, if I may be so bold as to ask, may I entertain your young Mr. William and Miss Nan? 'Tis roumored within my family that I am most excellent with the children, being not far from having been one myself..."

Mr. Merriman was up on his feet, pumping Arthur's hand heartily. "Aye, Arthur, you certainly may! That means a lot, lad, thank you!"

Arthur's smile couldn't possibly be any more broader. He looked at the girl beside him who was beaming proudly. "And would you accompany us as well, Miss Elizabeth? Unless, of course, you'd rather remain at Felicity's side, then I completely and wholeheartedly understand..."

Elizabeth looked at Mr. Merriman. "Sir, if I could be of any more use...?"

Mr. Merriman gave her the warmest smile he could muster under the family's circumstances. "Go along with Arthur, Elizabeth. I am going back upstairs to relieve my wife. I will send Nan down to you. Thank you."

Ben returned with a slab of vanilla cake for Arthur (who wasted no time in putting it away and had it gone by the time Nan sauntered downstairs), and Rose gave Elizabeth a pretty glass vase to put her purple flowers in. "I'll put them in Felicity's room," Nan told them all. "Maybe their beautiful scent will waken her." Arthur most happily agreed to that.

When they had gone strolling with William and Nan, a gloomy Ben decided to check on the horses, what with the summer heat being quite bothersome. They would probably be a lot cooler back in their stalls. On his way down the front porch steps, however, he was surprised to see yet another well-wisher arriving, this one in the form of Walter Wheaton.

Walter didn't have a pot with him, but he did have an immense bushel of pink peonies with him. Ben's mouth came open as he abruptly stopped in front of his friend.

"Good day, Ben," Walter said nervously. "How is Felicity today?"

"No change," replied Ben, with an unexpected touch of irritation in his voice. If Walter noticed it, he didn't let on. Ben nodded at the bunch of peonies. "What are those for?"  
As if he didn't know.

"Huh? Oh-these are for Lissie!" Walter grinned confidently. "Mother wanted me to bring chicken soup, but _everyone _brings chicken soup when a person gets ill!"

Ben rolled his eyes. "You don't say."

Walter shifted his weight nervously. "Um, Ben, could I ask you a question?"

Pressure that felt to Ben Davidson like a fist in his chest threatening to punch it's way out made him visibly uncomfortable. "I don't know, Walter, I have a lot to do..." Which was pure bull, of course. Ben's instincts told him he was _not _going to like being asked this something.

"Aw, c'mon, Ben," Walter pleaded anxiously. "I have to know-has Felicity begun courting anyone yet?"

_Blast! _Ben gritted his teeth.

"I know she's just eleven, but Mother says that's the perfect age for a young lady to begin contemplating her courtship possibilities." Walter's chest puffed out proudly. "And _I _want to be a possibility!"

It took effort, but Ben restrained himself. Walter was _not _Lord Forsythe. Walter was his friend...but what kind of 'friend' went after another guy's girl? _He doesn't know Felicity loves ME, _he thought sourly. _And to tell him so would probably let him down cruely. He's a good fellow...'tis not my place to tell him!_

"So...is she?"

Ben glared. "Walter, Lissie's very sick. _Very. _This is _not _the proper time to be asking such a thing."

Walter shifted again. "I _know_, Ben! But she's going to get well, isn't she? I mean, with everyone praying for her and the fact that she's a strong girl who doesn't give up easily-she'll be well in no time, Ben! I know she will! I want to be here for her when she does."

"Why?" Dumb question, but Ben was so angry right now he didn't care. He absently kicked the dirt.

Walter made an exasperated, impatient sound. "Because she's a terrific, beautiful girl! I would think you stupid to live here with her family and not see that for yourself, but I know she's like a sister to you-your master's daughter and all, and sure, you're protective of her. But to the rest of us, she's 'pretty Felicity Merriman-soon-to-be-old-enough-to-court', see?"

An extremely hot, consuming flame roared to life in Ben's chest. "_'The rest of us'? _What does _that _mean?"

Walter looked amused at his friend's dumbfoundedness. "Oh, you know. The guys! We've _all _noticed how she's getting prettier every day-even that Forsythe twit. Even young Dickie Darvish!

"Dickie Darvish is blind, Walter."

_"So?" _Walter shrugged indifferently, grinning. "He's still a male, isn't he? Felicity always talks to him at church, and I guess he's heard enough about her from the rest of us fellows to be interested in her himself!"

He leaned toward the stewing Ben, real secret-like. "And for a chap who can't see, he's quite a personable lad!"

Ben had had drew in his breath sharply. _"_GImmie those and I'll take them in." He snatched the peonies from Walter a bit too roughly as he brooded. Walter just grinned.

"_When _Felicity wakes up, tell her they're from me!" he called as Ben stormed back into the Merriman house and shut the door a little too firmly. Walter just chuckled and shook his head. _What a character, that Ben! _he thought. _A person would think he was jelous or something!_

Ben Davidson, his face a moody mask, strode right into the mini-kitchen, over to the rubbish box, and slapped the peonies right down on top of the discarded potato peelings. 'Twas a good thing Walter _wasn't _carrying a soup-pot! Ben imagined himself dumping the entire contents of it over the boy's head.

_The horses, _he reminded himself sternly. _They would be cooler in the barn. Mayhaps I would be as well! _As he strode towards the front door, he paused, halfway out of it. He looked back up the stairs, as if expecting to see someone, Felicity perhaps, standing there smiling at him, wearing her pretty blue dress. The beautiful gown she'd worn to her dancing lessons at the governor's palace.  
_Palace, _he thought imaginatively. _For a faerie princess to attend a dance lesson. Pretty Felicity Merriman..._

But no one stood there at the top of the stairs, least of all Feicity. _Why _was he always expecting to see her there? Because he knew she hated to be abed when there were friends to see, Penny to ride, her garden to tend to? Because he believed she had heard his declaration of love and wanted to tell him so?

He rubbed his eyes. _Felicity IS a strong girl, Walter is right. She will fight the fever. She WILL get better. And she will tell me she loves ME! _He frowned. _And I will leave to go fight in the war. _Heaving a melancholy sigh, he closed the door behind him, quietly, as he stepped out.

CHAPTER 10 FINISHED! A shorter chappie, no doubt, but maybe that's for the better?


	11. Chapter 11 Dream or Reality?

_**Felicity: An American Girl Romance, Part 1, CH. 11: Dream Or Reality?**_

Disclaimer thing: I own nothing, no characters, no song lyrics, nothing. It's all for the love of Felicity Merriman and Ben Davidson.

CHAPTER 11

Life, where the few may not ever find a heaven  
I could be with you  
Out in a world where nights, they don't ever end  
We got each other my love, my life, my friend

(You all over me, all over)  
You're the light  
I AM THE LOVE, DON'T LET ME DIE AWAY  
I am forever, we are born to make  
Promises to love me (Promises to love me)  
Promises to love me

-excerpt from the song 'Promises' by Barbara Streisand and Barry Gibb

It was very humid in the morning. Ben wiped his damp forehead with the back of his arm and stepped over to the basin full of water beside the door of his little room in the loft. After splashing cool water on his face he looked at his reflection in the piece of looking-glass hanging from a nail in the wall by a cord.

The stupid mirror was dirty. He couldn't see himself clearly.

Just as well, he mused sourly. _Who feels like primping when Lissie's so ill? _It was time to go to the house and see how things were looking this morning, and try to eat something if it was possible. Despite the heat and humidity, he buttoned up his waistcoat and climbed down the ladder.

Oddly, Penny and Patriot were most quiet this morning.

The air was still and heavy, and the sky was greatly overcast. _Good, _Ben thought._ A nice summer storm is just what we need! Mayhaps the thunder and the lightning will wake Lissie up, if she hasn't woken already. Please, God! _He opened the front door of the Merriman house.

Instantly, he was met with silence. He sighed, leaning against the door as it closed. He smelled fresh biscuits, but as good as they smelled, he just wasn't hungry enough. He heard the low rumbling of thunder not too far off, and went to look out the parlor windows. _Ah, yes! _A summer storm was well on it's way. Then the creak of wood on the stairs grabbed his attention and he went back to their foot and looked up curiously.

And she was there.

"Lissie..." he breathed, a grin spreading across his handsome young face as he drank in the sight of her.

She was extremely pale, of course, but her smile was wide and beautiful. Her hair was back in a ponytail and she held in the crook of her right arm the fashion doll given to her for Christmas before the dance lesson at the Governor's palace. The doll that wore the smaller version of the beautiful blue silk gown that Felicity Merriman, no longer lying ill in bed, was wearing now. She beamed down at him happily.

"Lissie, it's so wonderful to see you well again!" he told her, his eyes mesmerized as she began descending the stairs, slowly and carefully. "How do you feel?"

"Good, Ben, I feel good." She sounded weak but positive. Her ever-familiar, sweet, clear voice was like music to Ben's ears. She stood before him, and they smiled at each other warmly. Then she laid a hand upon his shoulder-he could barely feel it he was so giddy!- and said in a tender tone, "Ben, I want to-"

"Miss Felicity!" exclaimed a high-pitched voice, and Lord Reggie Forsythe came strolling out from the mini-kitchen, followed by none other than Walter Wheaton, and some young dark-haired fellow that Ben did not recognize. "How splendid to see you up and about! We had all come in hopes of cheering you up, but-"

"_BUT!" _interrupted Ben angrily, glaring at Forsythe. "You can see it is no longer necessary, Forsythe. What in God's name are you doing in the Merriman's house, anyway?"

Forsythe smirked cleverly. "Mr. Merriman is not here. He has gone to speak with Dr. Sutton, according to the house servant."

Where _was _Rose, anyway? And Mrs. Merriman? He heard the creak of wood upstairs, overhead, and wondered why no one was coming downstairs to kick this ass-fop out of here before Ben himself set into him with fists flying. He'd had it with _'Lord' _Forsythe!

"Ben," Felicity said softly, tugging on his arm so that he could barely feel it, "come with me." He turned his attention back to Felicity as she took hold of his hand. He held hers firmly, for it felt light and cool and ever-so-soft, and she led him past the trio of boys, toward Mr. Merriman's study. At the door of her father's study, she turned back to Forsythe, Walter, and the lad Ben didn't know but apparently Felicity did. She looked at them with kind, happy eyes. She cocked her head sentimentally, and when she spoke, her voice was clear and mild.

"Thank you all for coming to see me. I appreciate your prayers and concern, and I am.. ._thankful _for the friendship each of you have shown me. I know the _other _reason the three of you are here, and I am touched, but-" Her sparkling emerald eyes looked at each of them in turn "-I love Ben. I always have. I always will. My heart could only ever belong to him and no other."

As astonished, striken faces stared back at Ben Davidson, he lifted his chin triumphantly, smirking most righteously. He felt as if his heart had grown wings and was whipping around in his chest like a bat gone mad.

"Again, I thank you all for coming. I trust that you three will find a lucky young lady who will return your love as you deserve. Please, though, do not forget me. Goodbye." She looked at Ben and smiled enthusiastically. "Come with me."

Ben grinned as Felicity led the way into her father's study and discreetly closed the door. He laid his hands upon her elegant young shoulders and pulled her close. She allowed him without any hesitation or resistance. With her free hand, she touched his cheek, and Ben felt as if he was spinning, flying, and bursting with joy all whilst standing still! Her touch was light, so gentle and sweet!

He gulped excitedly. "Lissie, are you all right?"

"Aye, Ben, I am better than all right." Her face was pale but yet it seemed as if light was glowing softly from within her skin and eyes. "But, I want you to know-"

He couldn't help it. He burst. "You love me! I know you love me! I know you do!" He bit his bottom lip, catching himself. "That's what you told _them_! That's what you wanted to tell _me _personally, right?"

She laughed softly. "Aye, Ben Davidson, 'tis indeed what I wanted to tell you." Her eyes searched his deeply.

He grinned helplessly. Oh, he couldn't stand it any more! He clutched her to him and kissed her good and hard on her sweet, soft, young lips. As hard as he could, for his enthusiasm and excitement could no longer endure restraint. She was his! And she kissed him, a dear, innocent kiss against his warm lips. Then she hugged him, channeling all the love in her eleven year-old heart into his, hoping he could feel in his patriotic soul all that she felt for him, all the love she had been holding for him, all that she was.

"Oh Ben, I do love you so! Never doubt that!"

"I won't! I love you too, Felicity Merriman!" He gazed into her clear green eyes with more joy than he'd ever known. "Don't _you _ever doubt _that_!"

They grinned at each other. There was another, louder rumble of thunder, and Felicity gazed past him at the windows. Her smile faltered, and she looked down at the fashion doll in her other hand. "Here, Ben," she said, inhaling deeply. "I want you to have this."

"Your doll?" His bright brown eyes inspected her face in confusion. "Why would you want me to have your doll?"

She smiled then, what seemed to Ben to be the saddest of smiles he'd ever seen, befuddling him even more. "To remeber me by," she told him in a voice near to a whisper. The fingers she touched his warm cheek with were so soft and cool. He could barely feel them.

"Remember you?" Oh. Then he understood. To remember her by while he was gone to the war. "Lissie, I could _never _forget you! Not for a moment, ever. You're a part of me forever. I promise I'll write to you every chance I get, I will!"

"Oh Ben," she sighed, the look in her green eyes serious with a knowledge of something far beyond him. She could see he still didn't understand. But she leaned up a bit and brushed his lips with her own, and with another roll of thunder sounding outside, whispered "Will you please open the window for me?"

"Sure." He gave her silky red hair one last stroke, gave her a warm smile, and laid her doll down on Mr. Merriman's desk. He turned to the nearest window, noticing that a breeze had picked up. As he unlatched the window, he heard Felicity's voice, sad but full of raw affection, behind him.

"I love you, Benjamin Davidson."

"I love you, too, Felicity Merriman," he told her happily as he raised the window. He felt the breeze instantly...strange, though. It seemed to come from _behind _him rather than from outside before him. He inhaled deeply, fully, his heart pounding like mad as he said suddenly, "I'm going to ask your father for permission to court you. Before and after I go to be a soldier."

There was no reply.

"Lissie? What do you think-" He turned around. There was no one there. "Lissie? Where'd you go?" Where-?" He looked around, utterly dumbstruck. He was the only one in the room! "Felicity?"

Suddenly he felt as though ice cold water had been poured over him, freezing him through and through, right to the bone. Panic gripped him. In two strides with his long legs he was at the door of the study, flinging it wide open and stepping out. Forsythe, Walter, and that other boy that Ben didn't know were still standing there at the foot of the stairs. They stared at him in surprise.

"Where's Lissie?" he demanded. "Where did she go?"

"What do you mean?" Walter asked, looking confused. "She went in there with _you._ No one's come out _but _you."

Ben's eyes flicked around faster than his head could move. "Lissie?" he shouted urgently. "Where did you go?"

Forsythe gaped at him. "What on earth happened in there, Davidson?"

"Lissie!" Ben shouted again, ignoring Forsythe as he strode into the parlor, his head whipping about. "Where are you?"

The three startled young men at the foot of the stairs exchanged uneasy looks, and then the front door opened. An anguished, devastated Edward Merriman entered, eyes puffy from much crying. He stared at the three young men, not expecting them to have been there, then turned and saw Ben. He sniffed miserably.

"Sir?" Ben strode over to him, feeling cold and empty. Dread rose higher and higher inside him each second that Felicity remained unlocated. "Did you see Felicity outside? Did she go to the barn? She was just here-"

"Ben, how could you ask...don't you know?" Mr. Merriman gripped the front door handle with white knuckles while fresh tears filled his eyes. "You-you were still asleep when it happened...in the night. No, I guess nobody told you."

"Told me what?" And suddenly Ben looked horrified. His heart sank like dead weight within his body.

Mr. Merriman's voice wavered. "She's gone, Ben."

Walter stepped forward. "No, sir, that's impossible! She was just here! She went with Ben into your study..." But he couldn't finish, for he had no further explanation.

"Oh my God...oh my God," murmured the dark-haired fellow that Ben didn't know.

Ben was a hair away from sheer hysteria. "No, sir, that can't be! She was here-she was just _here_! She came downstairs and spoke to all of us. She took me into your study and we talked and...and..." He began to breathe rapidly. "I just turned around for a moment to open a window, and when I looked back...she wasn't there, and...No! No, it just can't be!"

"Ben," Mr. Merriman whispered sadly, "she's gone. She slipped away in the night in her sleep."

"NO!"

"You have to know," he continued wretchedly, "Martha and I saw her, too, in our bedchamber in the night, just before we knew she had..." He drew in breath shakily. "Died."

"NO!" With tear-filled eyes, Ben turned to the stairs. "She's not dead! She's here! Lissie, please! Please come back in here! Where are you?"

"Ben, please..." Mr. Merriman began, barely able to control his own heartbreak. "She is gone-we had to take her to the undertaker's this morning. That's where everyone is right now. Even Elizabeth said she saw Felicity in her bedroom this morning, and then when she got here and saw..." He couldn't finish. He dropped his head into a hand and wept.

But Ben was nearing insanity. He went from room to room as quickly as he could, calling for his girl. Ultimately he ran out the front door, into the yard, tears nearly blinding him as he cried "NO! Felicity, no! Come back to me! LISSIE!"

With a dull thud Ben Davidson hit the floor and woke immediately, tangled up in his bed sheet. He was covered in a heavy sweat and breathing hard. His heart was banging in his chest and his eyes were very wide. Cursing himself, he freed his body from the sheet and sprang to his feet, scrambling for the door.

_Something had happened. _He knew it. He felt it. He _had _to get into the house! _Please don't be dead Lissie! Please, please, let it have been a dream..._

As he ran past them, he noticed how quiet Penny and Patriot were. The air was very humid, the sky dark with clouds. Thunder rumbled slowly as he sprinted across the yard and up the front steps. He could hear his own heartbeat pounding in his ears. He burst through the front door and immediately hollored, loudly and clearly, "FELICITY!"

"Ben?" This came from Mr. Merriman, who was sitting on the sofa in the parlor beside Rose, who was sobbing softly with her head in her hands as she rocked back and forth. On the other side of her sat Marcus, who had a hand consolingly laying upon Rose's back. The three of them looked up, looking soul-weary, and Mr. Merriman's eyes were puffy from crying.

Ben's mouth came open.

"Come here, lad," Mr. Merriman sniffed. "I want to tell you-"

"NO!" Ben shouted, heartsick. His nightmare had come true! As Mr. Merriman was about to speak again, Ben stormed upstairs, his long legs enabling him to skip steps. "Lissie!" he shouted frantically, feeling his heart about to burst from horror. "Lissie, please!"

He was at her bedchamber door in a flash, bursting through it, his rapid breathing suddenly suspended...and he saw the bed empty, sheets unmade, quilt bunched up at the foot. She wasn't there! His strength failing quickly, he grabbed hold of the doorknob in desperation.

_She was gone!_

"Felicity!" he cried helplessly. "Lissie, NO!"

He fell to his knees.

"Ben?" Across the hallway, the door of Mr. and Mrs. Merriman's bedchamber came open, and Elizabeth Cole stepped out looking surprised. "Ben Davidson, why on earth are you carrying on so?"

"Lissie!" he cried, sinking down on to one hand. "She-she's-"

Elizabeth shook her head...and grinned. She bent over and poked Ben between the shoulder blades. "Here! Get up, Ben Davidson, and see for yourself!"

"Wh-what?" He scrambled to his feet in a fast frenzy, stumbled past Elizabeth (who burst into a fit of giggles) and into Mr. and Mrs. Merriman's bedchamber, where he gasped, mouth open.

She was very pale and weak-looking, but she was, indeed, alive! She was sitting on Mrs. Merriman's window seat against a couple of pillows, clad in her shift and her long blue robe over it. Her long red hair fell down her back and over her shoulders, framing a tired-looking, pixie-princess face that had turned sleepy green eyes upon him. She gave him a heart-warming, sentimental smile.

"Lissie..." he breathed, mesmerized.

Nan was sitting with her, holding a plate of biscuit, eggs and bacon. Apparently, Nan was feeding her breakfast. "Eat, Lissie," she urged impatiently. "Your biscuit's getting cold."

Mrs. Merriman had been brushing Felicity's hair. She laid the brush down on her vanity and crossed over to Ben, who was still gaping in astonishment, and laid a hand upon his shoulder. "The fever broke about sometime after midnight," Martha Merriman told him happily. "And about an hour ago, she actually felt like getting up and moving around-but I don't think she strong enough for the stairs yet. Edward will get Dr. Sutton before noon and he'll advise us on what to do." She smiled, a little mystified. "Ben, are you all right?"

"I thought she-that is, when I came in-I saw Mr. Merriman...and Rose was crying..." He had to force his eyes away from Felicity's stunning green ones to look at Mrs. Merriman.

Martha chuckled gently. "Rose was crying because she is relieved! She's had to be strong for all of us, and I insisted that she take the day to take care of herself." She sighed most relievedly. "My own darling Edward has been so strong for us as well...he is ever so drained now! He was on his way out to tell you the good news, but I guess he needed a moment..."

"Aye," Ben breathed, returning his bright gaze to Felicity.

Nan made an impatient sound. "Lissie, will you please eat? You'll never get your strength back if you don't eat!"

But Felicity wasn't paying attention to her sister. She had reached her arm out, her hand, toward Ben, and he could easily see that this gesture required quite a bit of effort. But she reached for him, and he immediately stepped forward and clasped her frail white hand in both of his stronger ones. She was trembling.

"Thank you, Ben," she said breathlessly. It was an obvious trying effort for her just to talk above a whisper!

Confused but elated, Ben replied with a shy smile, "For what?"

"For saving my life. You carried me-" She had to pause to inhale with a rasp. "-all the way from the field. Thank you."

Turning red, he gave her hand a firm but gentle squeeze. He wished he could give her all of his strength, let it flow out of him and into her weakened frame. Suddenly he was aware of Elizabeth and Mrs. Merriman's grins upon him and he felt very on-the-spot. But Felicity, sweet, loving, humble Felicity, continued to gaze at him with her tired green eyes and heart-piercing smile, and then he cared for nothing else.  
_She was alive!_

He cleared his throat. "You're very welcome, Lissie." He released her hand gently. "Nan's right, you should eat...try to get your strength back, okay?"

She nodded, lowereing her hand to her lap, and promptly Nan slid a forkfull of egg into her mouth.

Ben grinned at her, starry-eyed.

Mrs. Merriman put her arm around his shoulders and gave him a motherly squeeze. "Yes, thank you, Ben, for all of your help. If you had not found her in the field that day..." She took a deep breath. "Anyway, we are blessed to have you with us."

Even though Nan had another bite of egg hovering threateningly near Felicity's mouth, Felicity glanced warily at it, then at her mother and said, "I think I should go lay down again, Mother. I'm getting tired."  
Nan put the fork down in the plate with an annoyed _clink_.

"All right, dear, but you must finish your breakfast before you can lay completely down." Mrs. Merriman took hold of Felicity's arm. "Slowly now, Lissie."

With a weary sigh, Felicity rose slowly, and Elizabeth came close to her other side, ready to grasp her other arm. Mrs. Merriman studied Felicity carefully, thinking... "Ben, could you help?"

He knew right away. "Yes, ma'am!" he replied a little too eagerly, but Mrs. Merriman only beamed as she stepped back away from her eldest daughter, and Ben took her place at Felicity's side, putting one strong arm around Felicity's small waist and holding her close to his body for support. He gripped her closest arm with his other hand. Doing his damndest to keep from grinning, he began walking her back to her bedchamber, slowly and protectively.

Elizabeth and Mrs. Merriman exchanged grins.

"Easy, Lissie," Ben instructed as she wobbled uncertainly in his grip. He was _revelling _in having her back in his arms...sort of. He was _supposed _to be helping her back to her room. She felt small and warm pressed close to him like that, and he couldn't help but feel quite confident and manly in assisting her in her time of need. He remembered what she'd wrote in her diary about liking his physique when she'd espied him at Miller's pond, and (he just _couldn't _help it!) he swelled with pride that he was using that physique she admired so much to help her.

His mind was reeling with all kinds of giddy thoughts. None of them were in the least bit wondering why Mrs. Merriman had asked him to assist, but then it wouldn't have occured to him odd at all if he did.

At her bedside, he released her (with immense reluctance) as she slowly sat down. Mrs. Merriman, who had followed right behind, put Felicity's legs up onto the bed as Elizabeth held the sheet back. Then the covers were pulled up about her and Nan sat the plate in her lap.

"Eat," ordered Nan.

Felicity glanced at Ben, who shook his head encouragingly. So she took up the fork with a weary sigh and began putting in bacon and eggs. Nan beamed approvingly, and Mrs. Merriman draped an arm about Elizabeth's shoulders. 'Twas like the entire room let out a relieved breath that had been long suspended.

"Aha!" exclaimed Edward Merriman, appearing in the doorway. "I thought I heard giggling!" He wiped over his face with a hand, but there were still tears in his eyes-tears of joy,no doubt-and he smiled uncontrollably. "Lord God, how I've missed that sound! How are you feeling, Miss Lissie?"

"Schleepy," replied Felicity with a mouthful of bacon.

"Lissie, do not speak with your mouth full!" Nan scolded lightly, then dabbed at Felicity's mouth with a cloth napkin. "'Tis unlady-like."

"Don't be too annoyed, darling," Mrs. Merriman said to the sighing red-head they all loved so much. "Nan has taken very good care of William and her dolls, and watched you while you slept. Now that you're awake she wants to tend to _you_. 'Tis dear of her!"

Felicity had to admit, yes it was.

Mr. Merriman crossed over to Ben. "I will see Dr. Sutton this morning and he'll come and see Lissie. But in the mean time...how about you and Marcus opening the store today?"

"Yes, sir!" Ben exclaimed happily.

"Excellent! Have a bite to eat and be on your way, then." Mr. Merriman grinned brightly.

On his way out, Ben paused in the doorway. He looked over at Felicity, who was still gazing at him as she ate, and he knew he'd remember the way she looked right then and there forever: that pretty red hair falling in gentle waves over her shoulders, her faerie-princess face and those emerald eyes fixed upon him so knowingly. He loved her, oh he did indeed! She eleven, he seventeen about to become eighteen...what did that matter? He _knew _her_. He loved her. _And fie! He'd heard of many a gentleman in their twenties eagerly courting young ladies of thirteen! Why, his own father was ten years older than his mother had been. Nay, age was of no importance.

The fact that he was going to leave this little beauty for a war he might very well not return from _was_.

He gulped. "Eat all that you can, Lissie," he told her kindly. "Get your strength back. Penny's missed you terribly. I-I'm glad you're going to be all right now."

She smiled wide at him, her mouth too full of food for her to speak.

Ben Davidson, too, was smiling as he went downstairs. Did she know the things he'd said to her while she was under the fever? Did she remember? And would anything be different now that the threat to her life was finally over?

CHAPTER 11 FINISHED!  
Remember, it is never too late to give a review of this story. The author would be mighty grateful! Thanks to all who read!


	12. Chapter 12 Happy Hearts

_**Felicity: An American Girl Romance, Part 1, CH. 12: Happy Hearts**_

When Ben was gone and Father had left to tell Dr. Sutton she was awake and alert (somewhat), and when she'd finished her breakfast and it was only Elizabeth and herself alone in her bedchamber, Elizabeth sat down on the bed beside Felicity and took hold of her closest hand.

"I'm ever so glad you've returned to us, Lissie," Elizabeth told her seriously. "For awhile it seemed like...well...you know."

Felicity nodded. She was still sickly-looking and weak, enough that it made her loved ones want to be careful with her and look at her with such deep concern, and indeed she did feel utterly drained and dizzy. But she was _not _going to die. A fatherly, gentle voice had told her so as she slept.

"I'm so sorry, Elizabeth," Felicity mumbled sleepily, resting her head back against her pillows, "for yelling at Annabelle the way I did in the store. 'Twas rude and ugly of me. I felt like the whole situation was a dream. I felt like I was moving _in _a dream!"

Elizabeth smiled understandingly. "I know, Lissie, I know. I am not mad at you. As a matter of fact, I'm beginning to believe a rude awakening is just what Annabelle needed!"

"What happened?"

"Well," Elizabeth began with a grin, "Annabelle ran home to tell Mama that 'that wretched, rude Merriman girl said the most horrible things to me right there in public,' and Mama wanted to know what and why, and when Annabelle blubbered something about 'Ben will never love me now!' Mama rolled her eyes and said 'This is about that Davidson boy? Lord, Annabelle, I do wish you would attatch yourself to someone else'!"

Felicity smiled. "You do a good impression of your Mama."

"Aye," Elizabeth agreed. "And Annabelle went on about Ben being _so handsome_, and from a _rich family _and all that, but you see-" She leaned forward and grinned rather wickedly. "-although Mama and Father agree that Ben is a polite, affiable young man, they believe that he would _not _be a suitable suitor for Annabelle, on account of his being a Patriot and an unreliable runaway!"

"Aha..." said Felicity, her eyelids fluttering shut as she smiled smugly.

"There is more!" Elizabeth giggled mischeviously. Felicity took note of the touch of enthusiasm in her friend's voice. "Mama thinks Ben would be far more suitable for _you _than for Annabelle!"

Felicity's eyes snapped open as her eyebrows shot up.

"That's right!" continued Elizabeth with glee. "Annabelle's jaw nearly hit the floor when Mama said as such! She started to sob, and Mama said, 'Oh do dry up, Annabelle! I do _not _want to hear any more about Mr. Merriman's apprentice! If you cannot acquaint yourself with a more _appropriate _prospect, whatever foolishness you get heaped upon you is well deserved!'"

"That was dear of her. I do like your Mama very much."

Elizabeth smiled sentimentally. "Mama thinks as I do-that even though it was a rude thing to do to yell at Annabelle there in the store, maybe-just maybe-it will have finally made her understand that Ben is not interested in her." She patted Felicity's hand reassuringly. "Mama does _not _want Ben interested in Annabelle. She is thankful that he isn't. So...perhaps Annabelle will leave him alone from now on."

Felicity doubted it. She knew Annabelle Cole too well.

A quiet moment passed, where Elizabeth gazed out the window at the rain, which had started falling steadily several minutes ago. There was a soft flash of lightning, followed a few seconds later by slow thunder. The steady rain was almost hypnotic, almost inviting a body to relax and sleep. Elizabeth turned back to the drowzy red-head blinking drunkenly back at her. "I'm still amazed that Ben carried you all the way back from the field! I'll wager he'd carry you for a thousand miles!"

_How nice that would be! _thought Felicity dreamily. But she smiled again and said, "He's very good to me..."

Elizabeth nodded slowly.

Then Felicity's eyes filled with tears. She emitted a sob that made her whole body jerk. "Elizabeth," she cried helplessly in a soft, sad voice, "I-I love him!"

Elizabeth gripped her hand. "I know."

"You know?"

"Aye. I have for some time. I began to think it when we first met, and I saw how you were with Ben-the way you both carry on around each other, in your smiles, in your eyes. I just _knew_. And I'm glad."

Felicity blinked and sniffed. "He's going to join Washington's army. Nothing can stop him from leaving after he turns eighteen. He'll be killed, Elizabeth..."

"Oh Lissie, you mustn't think that!" There was a fierce determination in her voice as she leaned toward Felicity. "You must have hope and pray. You must!"

Felicity shook her head unconsolably. "So many soldiers are dying already. The pox kills them even if the British do not." With a pang of instant regret, she remembered that Elizabeth's family were British. "Blast!" she cursed self-loathingly. "I'm sorry, Elizabeth! Seems I'm doomed to offend everyone whether I'm aware of it or not."

"Do not appologize, Felicity Merriman," Elizabeth reprimanded with a smile. "I overheard Mrs. Mitchum at the social tell one of her woman-friends that it doesn't really matter who wins this war, patriots or Loyalists, because for us women nothing will change: we will still lose sons, brothers, fiances, and husbands, and women will still have no say in their country's future or have rights like men do." She saw Felicity nod agreeingly and went on. "But there is something grave here at stake-your heart! If you convince yourself Ben will not return to you, then you will most likely die of a broken heart before anything terrible _can _happen to him!"

Felicity sighed heavily. "Return to _me_? Oh, Elizabeth, I do not believe Ben sees me as more than a little sister. A friend at best!"

Elizabeth snorted. "Well who _would _you fall in love with, an enemy?"

"But-"

"Shush you, Felicity Merriman! I believe Ben loves you as you love him. 'Tis obvious to _me_. Ben is a proud, hot-headed boy who has a shy streak a mile long...I think he feels so much for you that he doesn't know how to express it or where to even begin!" Elizabeth grinned brightly. "Mama says men are like that."

But Felicity was still depressed. "Even if he loved me, and knew I loved him, he would yet be determined to go be a soldier." She bit her lip. "It hurts, Elizabeth!"

"Oh Lissie!" She bent over and hugged Felicity's thin, fragile frame. "I know. 'Tis a man-thing, soldiering and all-but you must have faith." She straightened, gave her dear friend an encouraging smile. "After all, a lot of fellows _do _return. I believe Ben is just too stubborn to let himself be killed!"

Felicity smiled thinly.

The two girls watched the rain fall awhile before Felicity commented slyly, "You've become quite wise, Elizabeth Cole."

Elizabeth sighed with pretend drama. "Ah yes, I know. 'Tis the result of having such friends as you and Arthur."

"You're lucky Arthur has no interest in joining the war."

"Aye," Elizabeth agreed seriously. "War scares him. And so do large dogs, hot potatoes, bees, screaming babies and bears, but..." (She hesitated, grinning, as Felicity struggled to turn a convulsing giggle into a cough) "He and his family do not believe in killing to solve a matter. He says when men have brains they should not need weapons. I agree."

"Me too!" declared Felicity as firmly as her weakened state would allow. "It does sound like something Father would say. He remains a firm Patriot, but he hates killing. I hate it too."

Elizabeth nodded in complete understanding. "I wish Arthur was here to make us laugh! Mama needs me home for supper, but I can come back later this evening and keep you company."

"Elizabeth, you are the best." Felicity's eyes were full of affection for her friend. "You have done so much for me, even when I was unaware. I am grateful, and I would do the same for you as well. But you should see Arthur this evening if you can. That way, if he says something funny you can tell me about it later."

"You know he will," Elizabeth giggled.

"Afraid of hot potatoes, huh?"

"Aye," confirmed Elizabeth. "Ever since one fell out of a plate and into his lap as a child."

The girls grinned. A moment passed. Felicity nudged her friend. "Bees, too?"

"Aye. Bee stings make him swell up like a melon he says."

"And the bears?"

"Do not get me started."

They laughed, although Felicity was too weak to put herself into it wholeheartedly. Elizabeth left an hour later and Nan reappeared to keep her company, sitting on the bed beside her sister with the Bible. Nan read to her some of her favorite passages from _Psalms _before little Nan herself became sleepy.

"I'm so happy you're going to be okay, Lissie," Nan told her drowzy older sister as she laid back against their pillows. "You must never be ill again! 'Tis too hard on our hearts!"

"I'll try, Nan," Felicity smiled sleepily. "But do tell me, is it just me, or does everything smell like chicken soup?"

Nan grinned.

During the course of the fever, Felicity Merriman had few dreams she could remember. Two of the ones she could recall she would never forget: one was where she seemed to be in a dark tunnel with a light before her at its end, a brilliant white light that didn't hurt to look at and filled her with a joy and excitement that she'd never felt before. But a gentle, fatherly voice told her it was not her time yet and she had to go back. She was disappointed, but she did as the kind voice told her.

The second dream was about Ben. He'd come to her bedside, held her hand in his and told her that he loved her. She'd called out to him, but she was so delirious even in her dream she didn't think anyone could hear her. But as she closed her eyes and allowed peaceful, healing sleep to come over her, she wished with all of her heart that her dream about Ben had been real.

Doctor Sutton, after conferring with Dr. Galt, prescribed at least a week's worth of bedrest and plenty of meat, as it strengthened the body, combined with a tisane of ginseng. Indeed Felicity slept, making up for all she had lost having the nightmares, which seemed to have come to a halt. She feared it was only a temporary halt, however. Ben's birthday, and therefore his time to leave for the war, was just a little over a month away. Her nerves were still very unsettled.

During the evenings, someone usually came up to her bedchamber to keep her company. There was Mother or Nan, Rose or Elizabeth, and sometimes Elizabeth _with _Arthur Pratt, who always had something riotously funny to say. Upon his arrivals he would clasp Felicity's hands and call her 'Dear Felicity' and exclaim to Elizabeth that being here with the two of them made him almost feel like "one of the girls!" at which Elizabeth and Felicity would giggle quite wickedly, but for Felicity it was still a struggle to give a real laugh, for she was still terribly weak from the fever.

"Laughter is the best medicine!" Arthur told them with a hearty smile. "And though I have yet to obtain my degree from William and _Merry _for legal practice in medicinal comedy, I can assure you, dear friend Felicity, my experiences in such matters allow me to render the opinion that you be prescribed _illuminous jokes_, _fabulous gags_, and _ridiculousness _of an _outrageous nature_!"

"If you insist," said Felicity.

He and Elizabeth would play chess or checkers at Felicity's bedside as she dozed off and on, and Elizabeth usually won. Felicity absolutely hated falling asleep while her friends were there or when anyone else was in the room with her, and though everyone completely understood how she needed much rest, she still felt like an ungrateful slab of bacon lying there, nodding off with her mouth open.  
One evening, as the Merrimans were learning how to relax again, and Ben was with them in the parlor, sans Felicity, they all looked up from their reading, sewing, and watching William playing with his toy soldiers on the floor, as Nan ambled in, yawning. "I'm bored," she announced to them all as she dropped down on the sofa beside her mother. "Lissie can't stay awake to talk to me."

Mrs. Merriman smiled down at her. "'Tis _you _who was supposed to keep _Felicity _company, not the other way around! Ah well, I know you're tired now. I will go and sit with her awhile-"

"Mrs. Merriman?" Ben interrupted eagerly, rising from the card table. "If you don't mind, _I _would like to go up and sit with Felicity awhile." When mildly surprised expressions flourished all around him, he blushed a bit and said quickly, "She's been very kind to let me read her copy of _Gulliver's Travels_, and I know it's her favorite story, so...I could read to her some, if that's okay..."

Mr. Merriman pulled his pipe from his lips and grinned. "That would be most kind of you, Ben. Go right ahead."

Ben felt affectionate eyes upon him as he left the room, and Edward and Martha _did _exchange a knowing look, and he wondered if they suspected he had feelings for their daughter. Love was, indeed, a difficult thing to hide, after all. But would they object...if they knew? Would it be so bad if they discovered the apprentice had feeling for his master's daughter?

He had heard about situations like that all the time: an apprentice courting the master's daughter. Sometimes the apprentice would even _marry _his master's daughter to inherit the master's business. And sometimes the marriage just happened out of love. Ben didn't want to think about marriage-there was still the matter of surviving the war before he considered such things as marriage, settling down, running his own business...becoming a husband...becoming a father...

Wow.

He was perfectly aware he was at the age to be considering these things. Walter Wheaton already was. But Ben Davidson would put his obligations first, because Edward Merriman trusted him. They'd made a deal...Mr. Merriman would allow him to go be a soldier provided he would return to finish out his apprenticeship agreement.

If he lived to do so.

When he stepped into Felicity's bedchamber, he grinned when he saw her lying there, mouth open as she dozed. Soft candlelight on the bedside table illuminated her sweet young face, still pale from fever but not deathly like before. He sat down in the chair beside her, holding in one hand the book Felicity loved, _Gulliver's Travels_. She'd read it at least a dozen times since recieving it for her eleventh birthday in April, to herself and then to Nan and William, who had hung on to her every word with wide eyes and eager faces as she held them captivated with her excellent narration.

Just another one of the many things he loved about Felicity Merriman. When she'd seen that he had taken interest in the book, she happily allowed him to read it for himself. He'd shared every bit of patriotic literature with her that he could get his hands on, and she shared with him in kind. That was his Lissie!

She must have sensed a presence in the room with her, for she flinched, snorted as she drew in her breath and struggled to keep her eyes open. Ben stifled a chuckle as he smiled at her. "Hello, there!"  
Felicity blinked uncertainly at him as her eyes fixed.

"Thought I might come read to you for a bit, if you don't mind," he said cheerfully, flipping through pages carefully as he looked for a part he knew she especially liked. Ah, here was one!

So he began reading. As he did so, he could feel her sleepy eyes on him. Indeed, she was studying him as he read. His voice was soft and gentle, his eyes kind and caring. This was the boy she loved, sitting here at her bedside, reading to her. His very presence was a comfort unlike any other. Better than sunshine on a winter day. Better than a mug of hot chocolate. Better than being wrapped up in a warm quilt...well, almost: being wrapped up in his long, strong arms would be the best!

She felt all goofy and squishy inside, and before she realized it, Ben's soothing voice had lulled her back to sleep. He knew she'd dozed off again, but he continued reading anyway, determined to prove his reliability any time she woke.

"...And when I had gone about four leagues to the northward, the wind being at southeast, at six in the evening, I descried a small island about half a league to the northwest. I advanced forward, and cast anchor on the lee side of the island, which seemed to be uninhabited. I then took some refreshment, and went to my rest. I slept well..."

Off and on, Felicity started and woke, not knowing how long she'd dozed or how long Ben had been reading. A couple of times he yawned, having read himself into such a relaxed state that he felt like nodding off himself. Felicity could tell. Her heart aching for him, she raised her hand with effort and laid it upon his closest arm.

"...It is not easy to express the joy I was in upon the unexpected hope of once more seeing my beloved country-"

"Ben, " she interjected softly, and he stopped. Her eyelids were heavy but she was focused intently on him. "Ben, you needn't go on. I cannnot stay awake long enough to appreciate your reading."

"But I want to," he told her simply. "And this is your favorite story, right?"

"You don't have to do this, though." Her face turned sad. "They shouldn't have made you come up here just to sit with a sleepy flop-doll."

He grinned at that. "No one made me, Lissie. 'Twas my own idea!"

Though she lay perfectly still, her heart leapt for joy. "But wouldn't you rather be doing something better?"

"No. I like this just fine." He settled back in his seat and smiled at her. "You rest, I'll read. Now...where was I?"

Felicity decided that sometimes Ben's stubborness wasn't so bad after all.

The last thing Felicity remembered before she lapsed into deep, undisturbed sleep was Ben reading to her about Gulliver setting sail on the _Adventure _on June 20, 1702. With thoughts of sea voyages and how brave and daring Ben was, she dreamed he was a pirate, with his long brown hair flowing, white ruffled shirt wide open, sword in hand, ready to do battle. They were on a three-masted vessel upon the ocean, and fierce men who looked more or less like British soldiers were trying to snatch her away from him and take her to _their _ship. But Ben faught them all and won, and put his arms around her and...  
In her sleep, Felicity sighed happily.

Mrs. Merriman had to rouse Ben and tell him to go to bed, as he had read himself to sleep and his head had rolled to the side and down, and thus he now had a crick in his neck. Mrs. Merriman had come into Felicity's bedchamber and found them both asleep, Felicity with her mouth open again and her hand on Ben's closest arm, Ben asleep with the book open in his lap and his other hand resting upon Felicity's. The scene was all too dear that Martha hated to wake either one of them, but if Ben didn't get up and move his neck, he would hurt very much later on.

"Goodnight, Lissie," Ben mumbled sleepily, yawning as he ambled out, with Mrs. Merriman smiling happily at him.

Felicity snorted and twitched.

Martha Merriman just smiled.

Ben was glad to be busy at the store again, running errands and delivering parcels, but it still wasn't the same without Felicity dropping by. She continued to recover, but it had been a week and a half since she'd been out of doors. She was very antsy. One evening she sat at her windows, looking down at William and Nan as they ran around the yard after fireflies. She watched with great amusement as they had apparently espied the same firefly with a gasp. They both barrelled towards it, smacked into each other, and fell back on their rumps, whining. Ben, who had been out in the yard with them, threw his head back and haw-hawed loudly. Felicity laughed, too, and hated that she could not be out there with them. She couldn't stop squirming!

Neither could Ben-inside, that is. He was absolutely nervous to know if Felicity had heard him tell her he loved her, and he wanted so much to hear her say she loved him. It would mean so much! He was mulling that over in his head as he jotted down entries in Mr. Merriman's ledger behind the counter when the door bell sounded, and he looked up...and sighed wearily.

"Well, hello there, Ben!" Annabelle Cole chirped pleasantly as she flounced over to the counter. Behind her, Elizabeth shook her head tiredly. "Ready to assist me?"

Ben exchanged a look with Elizabeth and replied, "Depends, Miss Cole...are you actually going to purchase something?"

"_Oh Ben_!" Annabelle twittered ridiculously. "You are indeed the wit!" She leaned toward him, cocked her head and fluttered her eyelashes rapidly. "A spool of red thread, please."

"That's a nice color, Annabelle," Elizabeth said cheerfully. "I saw Ben stock a very big spool of thread that was a brilliant color of red just like Felicity's hair!"

Ben grinned.

Annabelle whipped around, pointed a finger at Elizabeth and hissed, "Do _not _mention that girl's name in my presence-"

"But Annabelle!" Elizabeth protested sweetly, "This _is _the Merrimans' store, and Lissie _is _Mr. Merriman's daughter!"

_How clever, that Elizabeth! _thought Ben, who hated to have to come out from behind the safety of the counter to fetch the rack of spools, which he himself had accidentally left on the table of fabric bolts. Damn predictably, Annabelle Cole came trotting over, like an eager puppy all but drooling, and grabbed his arm with much gusto.

For a snooty, upper-class young _'lady'_, her grip was nearly vise-like.

"Oh Ben, you simply _must _come to dinner at our house tonight!" she gushed with fluttering eyelashes. "We will be having a roast, with potatoes and vegetables and chicken and-"

The door bell rang out again, and slowly but carefully, in walked none other than Felicity Merriman.

CHAPTER 12 DONE!


	13. Chapter 13 The First Kiss

_**Felicity: An American Girl Romance Part 1, CH. 13: The First Kiss**_  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This chapter is dedicated to dearteacup

Dressed in her brown day dress with a white buffon around her beck and across her chest, she had her hair pulled back in its usual ponytail, which curled and laid at the side of her neck. She wore a mobcap, too, without her straw hat because it was a cloudy day and a hat would've been too warm for the head. Her face was tired and still an unhealthy pale, but she did indeed look much improved. Elizabeth saw her and grinned, clasped her hands together in joyous surprise.

"Felicity!" Ben blurted out happily. He immediately stepped past the gaping Annabelle Cole, out of her grip, and in two strides of his long legs was standing before Felicity, beaming and taking hold of her arms.

Annabelle's fists went to her hips. The look upon her face made Elizabeth imagine that someone had pulled an invisible drawstring, making her sister's face scrunch up in the middle!

Ben's brown eyes were simply swimming. "Lissie, it's so wonderful to have you back in the store! How do you feel? Should you be out walking yet? Do you want to sit down on the stool?"

Felicity smiled, touched by Ben's enthusiasm and wonderful smile. "I'm okay, Ben. Dr. Sutton came by this morning and said it would be good for me to get some exercise now, as long as I didn't overdo. And I've missed being in the store."

"This place isn't the same without you," Ben told her with much relief. "Having you back is the best thing that's happened to me all day!" Behind him, Annabelle was fuming. "Say!" he exclaimed, idea-stricken, "I've got to make a delivery to Mr. Haverty's farm today-will you walk with me?"

"Yes, Ben, I'd like that." They smiled bashfully at each other.

Elizabeth had never seen a volcano in person, but she had heard one described by an elderly gent her family knew back in London who had. Looking at Annabelle now, Elizabeth decided that her sister closely fit the description of one about to erupt.

"I've just got to go get his sack of oats and tell your father that I'm-that we-are leaving, and I'll be right back, all right?" He grinned brilliantly.

"All right," agreed Felicity pleasantly.

As soon as Ben turned around, he nearly ran into the red-faced, hotly annoyed Annabelle Cole, who sputtered, "But Ben, you were assisting _me_! And you're going to have dinner with us this evening, remember?" She was nearly grimacing.

"No, Miss Cole, I'm afraid I have to decline your offer. And Marcus or Mr. Merriman can assist you better than I." He nodded curtly, stepped around her, and quickly headed for the back room.

"But Ben, Felicity has been quite ill!" Annabelle called after him desperately. "Wouldn't you rather _I _walk with you instead?" But he had already disappeared into the back room and hadn't payed her any heed.

She clenched her fists in frustration, made an almost whimper-like sound of agitation, then whirled on Felicity. "Oh, you horrible girl! You have poisoned his mind against me!"

Elizabeth gasped. "Annabelle, don't!"

But Annabelle was, indeed, erupting. "The moment you knew I had my eye on him you have done your best to thwart my every move!""You didn't need me for that," Felicity commented with a tired smile. "Ben has a mind of his own."

"Oh! You-you-you!" Annabelle's face was quite livid. "You think you will win him away from me with your rude, uncivil, brat behavior? You're jelous! You're jelous that I am older, prettier, smarter, and you _know _Ben's family and mine are perfectly matched!"

Elizabeth started to protest, but Felicity asked mildly, "What do you know of Ben's family other than the fact that they have money?"

This insenced Annabelle even more. "You are _much _too young to understand adult matters! Familys like Ben's and mine expect their children to marry well, and to marry those of their own equivalent! What would Ben want with an improper, sickly, gangly girl who can't even sew a decent sampler? Who-who _rides horses _and _fishes in the creek _rather than working to become a suitable gentlewoman for marriage! You are _jealous_, Felicity Merriman, because I am everything you are not and cannot be!"

"The word isn't 'jealous', Annabelle," Felicity said softly. "It is _honest_. I will not pretend to be someone I'm not."

Annabelle was about to react loudly to that, when Elizabeth stepped up to her sisiter and said in a low voice that was both firm and serious, "_No_, Annabelle. No more. You are finished here."

Ben emerged from the back room with a sack of oats on his right shoulder. He looked at Felicity with happy eyes and a beautiful smile and said, Are you ready? Still feeling better?"

"Aye," Felicity replied gladly.

"I'd offer you an arm if I didn't have to hold on to this thing," he told her as they started out of the store.

"That's okay, Ben. I need to get used to being _not _dizzy by myself," she assured him. "Good day, Elizabeth!"

Elizabeth could see that Annabelle wanted to protest their leaving together, to grab Ben to keep him from leaving with Felicity, to grab Felicity to keep her from leaving with Ben, but Elizabeth had a good grip on her arms above the elbows, refusing to let her move.

"Good day, Lissie!" Elizabeth called over her shoulder. She glared hard at Annabelle. "Let them _go_, Annabelle. You're wasting your time here-you always _have _been! Ben doesn't fancy you, you must accept it! He loves Felicity! And Felicity loves him. I hate for you to have to hear it like this, but you're only making it harder on yourself!"

Annabelle's eyes teared up and her arms went limp at her sides. "Wh-why are you being so cruel to me, Elizabeth?"

"I'm _not_!" Elizabeth told her forcibly. "I am your sister and I love you too much to let you go on being a twit!" Annabelle started to cry, and Elizabeth took hold of her shoulders and gave her a kind smile. "Listen to me, Annabelle. You are pretty and proper and soon you will find a lad who will return your affections the way you wish! It's just not Ben."

Annabelle sniffed miserably.

"If you put _half _as much effort into finding another fellow as you do _all of it _into trying to get Ben to notice you, why you would be _engaged _by now!"

"R-Really?" Annabelle stuttered, her nose having gone beet-red and stuffy.

"Really. Mama knows that as well!"

Annabelle's chin quivered. "B-But Ben is s-so handsome."

Elizabeth looked her in the eye. "There are _other _handsome boys." Then she added slyly, "_Loyalists_, too, Annabelle. Is that not important to you?"

"'Tis!"

Young Elizabeth nodded knowingly. Annabelle was as strong a Loyalist as Ben Davidson was a patriot. Elizabeth counted on that. "Do you not desire a young man who will love and adore you as though you were his very own _Queen Charlotte_?"

"Oh, I do!" Annabelle sighed dreamily (and nasally).

"Then find _that _lad!" Elizabeth encouraged urgently. "He just isn't _Ben_. Do you understand now?"

Annabelle sighed. Her gaze fell, and after a moment's silence she said numbly, "How did it come to be that the _younger _sister wisely consoles the _older _sister?"

Elizabeth clasped her sister's hands. "I'm growing up, Annabelle. Something else you must accept. But...I am hoping-I have always hoped-that we could be closer friends as I did get older."

Annabelle nodded. "That would be nice, Bit-sorry. _Elizabeth_."

"I suppose you could still call me _Bitsy_...but only during Yuletide!" Both girls grinned. "Now can we _please _go home? We need to see if Mama has recieved a letter from Father."

Annabelle was giddy again. "Oh that would be splendid if she did!"

As they left, chatting avidly about thier father and how much they missed him, Elizabeth _was _harboring a concern. Though her sister seemed to resign her hold on Ben Davidson, Annabelle had _not _answered her question about understanding that he was not the right boy for her. Somehow, Elizabeth just didn't trust that Annabelle would drop her infatuation with Ben so easily. It was probably too good to be true...

Time would tell.

As they walked along the road to Mr. Haverty's farm, Ben noticed right away how quiet Felicity was. She stared at the road, instead of the trees and birds and people they passed like she usually did. It _was _a decent day, for early August. All the recent rain had lessened the humidity to a tolerable level, but even when the humidity was high that had never dampened the spirits of Felicity Merriman. Ben was itching to know what was going on in that pretty red head of hers.

"Okay, Lissie?" he asked pleasantly as they strolled along the tree shade-mottled lane.

"Yes," came the tired reply.

"You're awfully quiet, and that's not like you." When there was no response forthcoming, he asked, "Are you sure you're feeling up to this?"

A moment passed. "Yes," she finally said.

There was silence again. Ben couldn't stand it, it was too strange. He let out an exasperated sigh and said, "Felicity Merriman, if you don't tell me what is wrong I'm gonna take you right home!"

_What's wrong_? Felicity thought incredulously. _Oh_, _nothing! Simply the war, you going TO the war, you being KILLED in the war...Bananabelle's big mouth...that's all! _"Nothing's wrong," she stated flatly.

"Oh yes there is," Ben retorted. "I know you, Lissie. Now if you don't tell me what's wrong, I _will _take you home!"

This time Felicity's sigh was aggravated. "'Tis silly, Ben. 'Tis nothing you would care to hear."

Which Ben then automatically knew it _would _be something he would care to hear. Especially if it concerned any declarations of love she might have overheard whilst she was feverish! "Come on, Lissie, we tell each other _everything_. Tell me now."

"Annabelle Cole," she finally said after a moment's pause.

"What did she say or do this time?" He grinned, remembering all of Felicity's angry entries about the elder Cole sister in her diary. "Did she start going on about us lowly Patriots again?"

"No. She just...makes me angry sometimes."

_Sometimes? _When Felicity went quiet again, Ben had to nudge her arm to egg her on. "So tell me about it."

The knot of anger in Felicity's stomach was hard to ignore now. "While you were gone to get Mr. Haverty's oat sack, Annabelle said that I was jelous of her because she is smarter, older, and prettier than me. She said she is more proper, and that I'm too _im_proper, sickly and gangly. I don't know which makes me madder: the things she said or the fact that she's right."

"_What_?" Ben came to a halt. "Annabelle Cole said those things to _you_-and you think she's _right_?"

"Yes." Felicity stopped and turned back to him. She looked rather submissive. "I might as well accept it, Ben. I _am _improper and sickly and plain-looking. I'm a mess. Annabelle may be a snobby Loyalist, but she is pretty and proper and well on her way to becoming a gentlewoman suitable for marriage. I've seen her samplers-she sews really well. Her family _is _well off." She shook her head sadly. "And _I _am a mess." She turned around and slowly began walking again.

A hot flame of indignation sprang to life in Ben's chest, but it wasn't because of Felicity. It was because of that damned Bananabelle! Ben knew all of the reasons why Felicity disliked her-he'd read so in her diary. He knew why she and Annabelle argued. He knew why Felicity would not give the true reasons behind her and Annabelle's animosity.

He _knew_.

"Lissie," he began firmly as he hurried to catch up. The oat sack on his shoulder bounced annoyingly. "You've never let Annabelle get you down before, so don't you start letting her now, hear? _I _think Annabelle's jelous of _you_! You're different than other girls, Lissie. You're brave and smart, you know your mind, and you're the best patriot girl in Williamsburg!"

"Aye," Felicity sighed bitterly, letting her arms flop. "That's me, all right. 'Good ol' Lissie'."

"Hey now! You're just recovering from nearly _dying_! And no one can be proper _all _the time-you've said so yourself! I agree! 'Tis boring to be proper, and you are the _least _boring person I know!" He grinned at her, but she didn't look at him as they walked. She was glaring at the ground again.

"Lissie, you're an independent spirit, and I've always admired that about you. Annabelle had no right to say those mean things to you." He inhaled sharply. "And I'll have you know right now that _Bananabelle Cole _is no where near to being _half _as pretty as _you _are, Felicity Merriman!"

He held his breath. He expected her to say something, to stop or gasp or even giggle. The reaction he got was not what he expexcted: she continued walking, merely glanced at him, and said in a soft, sad voice, "Thank you, Ben. 'Twas nice of you to say that."

Surprisingly, her despondency gave him the courage to continue. "Well it's true! You're the prettiest girl in Williamsburg!" Against his better judgement, he added hesitantly, "All the guys know it."

Felicity just kicked a pebble in the dirt and sent it skipping. "I don't care what 'all the guys' think. Do stop trying to make me feel better, will you?"

Good Lord, she didn't believe him? She thought he was just rying to cheer her up? Oh, this wouldn't do at all! He was glad that she didn't care what 'the guys' thought (or even better, who 'the guys' were!), but for her to dismiss his declarations? He couldn't take that, his heart would break and render him useless! With his free hand, he took hold of her closest wrist.

"I'm not, Lissie. I mean it. Mark me, I do!" He sounded firm.

She looked at him as though trying to figure him out, like he was a puzzle. "What about Annabelle?"

"What about her?"

"Do you not fancy her?"

Ben nearly dropped the bag of oats, nearly stumbled over his own feet. "Wh-What? Me, fancy _Annabelle Cole_? Are you still feverish, Felicity Merriman? Of _course _I don't fancy Annabelle! I never have! Why would you think such a thing?"

Felicity quickly looked away. "Because she fancies you." There, she'd said it. He couldn't be oblivious to it now. She'd said it with disgust, as if she'd had a bite of something foul, like castor oil. The silence that followed wasn't very reassuring to her, either.

And then Ben said at length, "I know."

_Then _Felicity stopped, gaping, her green eyes wide with absolute shock. Ben stopped again, too, and looked at her gravely, with vexation in his beautiful brown eyes as well.

"You _know_?" Felicity swallowed hard, worked to keep control of her voice. 'How long have you known?"

Ben shrugged. He switched the oat sack to his other shoulder, for his right one was aching now. When he spoke, his voice was flat. _Not _happy. "Oh, for some time now. True, at first I didn't catch on-with all of that goofy grinning and eyelash flapping I actually thought she had a mental problem, and I know you're not supposed to be rude to people like that. But then it occured to me that she was actually _flirting _with me, and I tried really hard not to encourage her, but..." He sighed. "Apparently, that doesn't work."

Felicity just stared at him, speechless.

"I didn't _want _to be mean to her-after all, she _is _Elizabeth's sister, and she just _might _be a paying coustomer one day..."

Incredibly, Felicity spluttered out a hysterical laugh that didn't quite match her shocked expression.

Ben shrugged again. "And apparently, hiding from her doesn't work, either." As he gazed at Felicity he shook his head. "How could you think I would be smitten with someone like that? You know me too well, Lissie. She's not to my liking. I prefer girls who are brave, independent...girls who like to ride horses and whistle...fishing, even. Stuff like that, you know?"

Felicity's eyes welled up with tears as she stared at him, mouth still agog.

"Oh, I could never fancy a typical girl." he continued, beaming on the inside over how he had stunned her so. "Too stiff, too boring." He tried to sound nonchalant even though his heart was racing. "The world is changing. The colonies are going to be independent, Lissie. I want a girl who's heart is as free as Virginia is going to be when this war is over, see?"

With trembling lips, Felicity nodded, She looked thoroughly dazed.

Now that Mr. Haverty's oat sack was on his other shoulder, he went around to Felicity's other side, as she watched, fascinated, and took her small hand in his larger one. "Come on, pretty Lissie," he told her cheerfully, feeling much braver now. "I'm sure Big Brutus has missed you something awful."

She was studying him curiously. "Ben...is it possible," she ventured to ask, "that you have taken some kind of herb that makes you say all perfect things?"

"Nay, I have taken no herb," he replied with a grin, still amused by her shock. He couldn't look directly at her, lest he want to squeeze her to death in his arms."I know my mind just as surely as you do yours." _And I know YOUR mind, too, Miss Lissie-I read your private diary!_

Eventually, he felt her hand grow stronger and grip his in return. Fireworks were going off in his brain. His heart was happy. _He _was happy. Felicity, the girl who loved him, the girl he loved, was alive and recovering, and walking by his side hand-in-hand. 'Twas more than special, more than nice. It was _right_. He glanced at her and smiled. She glanced at him and smiled back.

-In the days that followed, Felicity continued to impove to the point where she could resume spending time with Big Brutus and her lessons with Ms. Manderly. Much to Felicity's surprise, Ben escorted her pretty much everywhere she wanted to go and was there whenever she was ready to leave. He even stayed a few afternoons to help her and Mr. Haverty hitch Brutus to the plow. The big black horse was nervous and twitchy, but Felicity stood by his big head, stroking his thick neck and speaking softly to him. By now, he was so used to Felicity and her kind, affectionate ways that he trusted her completely.

After some practicing turns in one of Mr. Haverty's fields, the three of them, Felicity, Ben and Mr. Haverty himself declared Brutus 'cured' of his plow-fear. Brutus tossed his magnificent head proudly, as if he was agreeing with them, as Felicity and Mr. Haverty did an impromptu jig, arm-in-arm while Ben watched and laughed. Mrs. Haverty bade them stay for supper, so they did, and Mr. Haverty insisted that Felicity come by as often as she could to keep Brutus happy and managable. Felicity certainly didn't object to that!

But Felicity Merriman was far from whole in spirit. Though her nightmares had abated, her fears for Ben's life had not. She found herself cringing at every mention of the war, the face of evey soldier or militiaman she passed on the streets or saw in the store became Ben's face, and every time she went with Ben to watch a muster on the Palace Green she couldn't help but be frightened by Ben's enthusiasm. It confirmed to her, without a doubt, that no one or no thing was going to keep him from joining the army when he turned eighteen.

Late one particular afternoon, when Ben and Felicity had closed the store for Mr. Merriman, who had to leave an hour early to attend a meeting with the Committee of Safety, Felicity had to try to ignore the sense of dread that had gripped her all of a sudden. She hadn't been too talkative since her recovery, for her dampened spirits just couldn't deal with Ben's approaching birthday, but this particular afternoon's bout of nerves had been the worst yet.

The two of them had just come down the steps of the store and were waiting for a wagon to pass before they started home. The wagon just happened to be carrying two long, dark wooden caskets on its bed. Felicity gulped when she saw them, felt cold chlls run down her spine. On their way to the undertaker's, probably, she had thought morbidly.

But no sooner did the wagon pass them, when Ben, Felicity, and everyone close at hand heard a loud, splintering _snap_! from the wagon's rear. The wagon's horse, startled by the sound, whinnied and reared as the driver tried to get the poor animal under control. The left rear wheel had broke suddenly, and the frightened horse had tried to bolt, and in so doing, the wagon shifted violently. The casket on the left slid dangerously down the length of the wagon-bed and tumbled into the street. As it hit, there was a sharp pop and it's lid flew open, much to the horrified onlookers, revealing the bluish-white face of a young militiaman still clad in his dark fringed hunting shirt and leggings. A black-red hole nearly the size of a man's fist in the middle of his chest stood out shockingly.

Without thinking, Felicity shrieked.

"That's young Michael Moffitt!" a man close to Ben hollored out, pointing. There were gasps and shouts aplenty. The driver of the wagon managed to get the horse still, jump down, and dash to the rear of the wagon. With the help of an onlooker, he was able to get the coffin's lid secured back on. The driver, a thin, aging man, stared at the broken wheel and lamented wearily, "I'd been meanin' t'get that fixed for some time now. Thought it might hold out a little longer. I gave my best wagon to the Patriot army..."

Ben looked at Felicity. Her green eyes were full of tears. "Michael Moffitt," she murmered on the verge of crying. "He and Miss Deborah Langford had only been married for six months..." She shook her head. "It's not fair." She raised her sorrowed eyes to Ben. "She loved him so much! It's not fair!" Bursting into woeful tears, she ran, bolted like a frightened rabbit.

"Lissie, wait!" Ben called after her, but she was gone, having quickly disappeared beyond the crowd that had gathered around the wagon. At least he knew where she was going-in the direction of home. Ben hesitated a moment longer, looking back at the plain dark wooden box that contained what was left of Michael Moffitt, and gulped. He, too, had been familiar with the twenty-two year old fellow. One of the bravest patriot militiamen to ever come out of Williamsburg. Now young Michael had come home in a box, leaving behind a young widow whom most everyone knew was expecting the couple's first and now only child.

No, it wasn't fair.

Someone had gone to fetch another wagon, so that the two caskets could be taken away. Ben sighed and turned away, not wanting to see anymore. With a heavy heart he headed for the Merriman house. His thoughts were a swirl. What would _his _fate be in the army? Would he, too, return to Williamsburg in a wooden box? And Felicity! Ben felt his heart drop into his guts. Lord, she would be devestated! She loved him, she truly did! The thought of that sweet, wonderful, beautiful girl, broken-hearted and mourning because of him was like a knife-slice into his soul. He hadn't planned on having such conflicting emotions! When he had come to live with the Merrimans he knew he wanted to become a soldier and there was no need to take anything or anyone else into consideration. But now there was Felicity Merriman, the pixie-princess daughter of his master, emerging into a sought-after young beauty of tremendous heart and affection, that had fiercely captured his love and admiration, and _now _there was a problem. He loved the girl! He wanted to explore every aspect of what that meant and where it would lead. He didn't want to lose her to another boy's affections and attentions, and by leaving Williamsburg, he was doing just that.  
_Now _he was torn. _Now _he was at a loss as to what to do. His eighteenth birthday loomed large on the horizon, and his heart was full of Felicity Merriman.

It wasn't fair!

Felicity was quiet and sullen throughout dinner, but only Ben knew why. She ate without any problem now, but she didn't participate in any of the discussions. Mr. Merriman arrived home just in time for supper with news of having had a pleasant conversation with immensely likeable Mr. Thomas Jefferson, but Felicity was too wrapped up in her sadness-shock of that afternoon. Ben glanced at her off and on, knowing very well what she was thinking about, but witheld letting on to anyone when Mrs. Merriman inquired about her strange silence.

After dinner, they all retired to the parlor, Mr. Merriman with his _Virginia Gazette _and pipe, Mrs. Merriman with a shirt to mend, Nan and William on the floor with their toys, Polly sleeping soundly in her cradle at Mother's feet, Ben with one of his patriotic pamphlets at the card table, and Felicity with her chapbook for drawing.

"Felicity, dearest," Mrs. Merriman began with concern, for Felicity was gazing into her chapbook quite intensely, "are you feeling well yet?"

"Aye, Mother," Felicity replied automatically, as if reciting well-worn verses.

Nan looked up at her older sister, surprised at Felicity's tone. "But you do not act like it!"

Felicity sighed irritably.

Mr. Merriman lowered his paper and removed his pipe from his mouth. "Lissie, if you are feeling ill again you should tell us right away."

"No, Father, I am not," Felicity told him mindfully. She sounded almost like her teeth were clenching.

Ben looked up at her.

"Lissie sick again?" William looked around at all the older folks, worry spreading across his sweet little face. He looked at his mother.

Felicity snapped. She stood quickly, slapped her quill and chapbook down, and said loudly, "Stop! Everyone, just stop! I am fine! Is nobody here worried about _Ben_? He will be leaving us soon for the war and may never come back, and we will never see him again!" And she flew from the room intears, sobbing quietly as she exited the front door.

Mr. and Mrs. Merriamn looked at each other, a look that was a mix of sadness and knowing. Aye, their Felicity loved Ben, and the way Ben rose swiftly after Felicity left and stared in her direction with such deep and passionate concern told them he loved their Felicity, too. They _knew_.

"Sir?" Ben asked hastilly, looking at Mr. Merriman with anxious eyes. "may I? I mean, I know why Felicity is upset."

"You do?" Mr. Merriman glanced at his wife. He sat erect in his chair as if contemplating going after Felicity himself. "Then please Ben, tell us."

Nan's little head had been going from speaker to speaker as she was fascinated by this turn of events. "Yes, tell us!"

"Shush, Nan," Mrs. Merriman whispered.

Ben cleared his throat. "You see, as we were leaving the store this afternoon, the rear wheel of a wagon broke, and one of the two caskets on it fell off and came open. Everyone could see that it was young Michael Moffitt, including me and Felicity."

Mrs. Merriman gasped softly. "Michael Moffitt? _Young _Michael Moffitt, who recently married Miss Deborah Langford?"

"Aye, ma'am."

"Oh no!" exclaimed Nan. "How horrible!" She leaned toward her mother, tugged on her skirts, and whispered, "Who's Michael Moffitt?"

"Nan, _please_!"

"And Lissie saw him too?" Mr. Merriman shook his head sorrowfully. "Must have shocked her something terrible. I probably don't need to ask, but I'm going to anyway- how did he die, Ben?"

"Musket shot, sir. At close range, too, I believe."

Mr. Merriman nodded sympathetically.

"So..may I go out to Felicity, sir?" Ben was impatient, it was plain to see. Mrs. Merriman gave her husband a curt nod, which went unnoticed by Ben.

"Aye, lad, go ahead." Mr. Merriman smiled gently as Ben quickly left the room and out the front door. Mr. Merriman rose and went to the windows to watch his eager young apprentice rush out to the barn. Martha Merriman joined him at the windows and affectionately slipped her arm through his. After a moment or two, Edward spoke in a low voice so that only his wife could hear. "He loves her."

"Aye. As she loves him." Her voice was full of tenderness."What are you thinking, dearest?"

"I am thinking that I am no longer the one she turns to for comfort anymore. I knew there would come a time, but I didn't think it would be _this _soon." He sounded neither angry nor worried, but sentimental and submissive.

"She's growing up." Martha said. "'Twas only a matter of time, actually." She smiled slyly. "As I recall, I was but a year older than she when I met my first love. Two years later I married him."

Mr. Merriman grinned. "Ah, youth..." They were quiet a few moments then he said, "If something happens to that boy she'll be devestated beyond reckoning, Martha."

"I know. But until that time comes, if there will be such a time..." She, too, did not want to imagine their Ben dead. "Let her have this time, Edward. 'Tis precious."

"Aye, love, that it is."

He closed the barn door quietly. Felicity was standing at Penny's stall door, her back to him, with her head laying upon folded arms. The chestnut mare's affectionate nose was against her young mistress' lowered red head, to Ben being a gesture akin to a human putting their arm around her, and it touched him. Not knowing where or how to begin, he cleared his throat.

"So they made you come out to fetch me?" Her voice sounded muffled, as she did not raise her head.

"No, Lissie, I came on my own." He cocked his head curiously. "Must you always assume I've been sent?"

"Must I? You have to do whatever Father tells you to do." She raised her head but did not turn around. She sounded weary from sadness, drained from depression. "Well you needn't have bothered...I already know what you're going to say."

"Oh, you do?" Ben asked, with a slight smile in a feeble attempt at humor.

She heaved a great sigh. "You've come to tell me that you appreciate my concern, but nothing and no one will keep you from joining the army, and that you'll be fine, you'll be back, and so on..." Finally, she turned to him, dropped her arms at her sides. Her green eyes were a mix of melancholy and bitterness. "I know all that, see? Ben...you have to know that I'm _proud _of you for going to fight for our independence. I'm proud _and _excited for you. But did it ever occur to you that there are people who will be _devestated_, people who will mourn for you and-and-" She couldn't continue, for tears welled up anew, and the lump of emotion clogging her throat made further speaking very difficult. She turned away.

Ben himself had to swallow with difficulty. Softly, he said, "Aye, Lissie, I know. It means everything to me to know you care for me so much."

She folded her arms and mumbled, "More than you know, Benjamin Davidson."

_This was it, _Ben thought_. This would be the time. I cannot lose courage now. _He stepped forward. "That's why I came out here to you, Lissie. I _do _know. I know everything."

Confused, she turned her head to look at him, though her body stayed still. She frowned. "What do you mean?"

He drew a deep breath, the inhaling of one about to step off of a cliff and into a sea of fog, unknowing of what the landing would be-hard or soft, or nothing at all. "I came out here," he began, with his heart at risk, "to make a confession to you. To tell you something that I did, that you need to know."

She stared at him.

"When I went looking for you-the day I found you in the field-I could only carry _you _home. I had to leave Penny and your basket of things there. When I went back to fetch Penny, I picked up your basket and the things that had spilled out of it. As I went to pick up your journal, though, the breeze moved the pages...and I saw my name." He shifted nervously. "I saw my name and I-I read your diary, Lissie."

She was turning away, back to Penny. He couldn't see fer face, but her breathing had quickened. She had put a hand on the top edge of Penny's stall door for support. Her other hand went to her heart. Ben wished to High Heaven she'd say something! Holler, cry, scream, curse him, anything. Her silence was terrifying. Of all the things he'd learned about Felicity Merriman, her silence was _not _a good thing.

He inhaled again (how fast tension could take away one's breath!), and repeated, "I read your diary, Felicity, and I know everything."

When she spoke, her voice was small and shock-strcken. "Oh Ben, what you must think of me..."

Felicity's mind was rapidly spinning into panic. He'd read her diary. He knew she loved him. He knew her thoughts and dreams of him. Everything! Frightened first and foremost, she couldn't face him. Dear Lord, he knew!

"I read everything...and I'm _glad _I did!" This burst of brave confession made Felicity jump, but Ben Davidson was on a roll now and couldn't stop. He strode over to her and stood only inches from her person. "I did not mean to invade your privacy, Lissie, but I do not regret it!"

She held herself, shaking her head. "You must think me the most foolish..."

"Foolish? For loving me?" He put a hand on her closest shoulder and she jumped (but she still couldn't look him in the face). "For caring so much about me that it drove you to nightmares? Foolish for fearing for my life? Absolutely _not_! You don't know how much it means to me, to have your heart! You don't know how happy I am to have the love of the most wonderful, patriotic, pretty-girl in Williamsburg!"

Slowly, Felicity turned and raised her head to meet his intense eyes. She looked as though she knew not what to make of his words. Like all that he had said was too good to be true. "So then...you do not mind that I- I love you so much?"

He took another step closer, feeling ever the more bolder. "Mind? Lissie, 'tis what I want, what I _crave_! No patriot could be happier than I to have you as my girl!"

She gulped, her emerald eyes wide. "I'm your girl?"

"Aye," he breathed in joyous response. Then he blushed a little, his shyness returning. "You always have been, Lissie. Even before I was even aware of it!"

"Oh Ben, I'm-I'm proud to be your girl!" she exclaimed, and Ben felt as if his heart was soaring. Felicity sniffed, wiped a tear that threatened to run down her cheek, and shook her head. Her smile faded much like the sun does when a dark cloud slides over it. "But don't you see? If you join the army and get killed-" oh what a horrible word, killed! "-I would never again know a moment's peace! I could never be happy again!"

He rested both hands upon her shoulders. "Lissie, I know-"

"No!" she shouted hurtfully, setting her fists against his chest. "No, you don't know! If you're going to die, I want to die too!"

His heart, which only a moment before was elated, suddenly turned fearful. "Oh no, Lissie, you must'nt say that! I need you to live, to be strong for me!" He clutched her arms desperately. "I cannot bear living if something happened to you!"

"Well how do you think _I _would feel if something happened to _you_?"

They stared at each other.

A small whimper of a helpless nature escaped her throat as her tear-filled eyes dropped to his chest. She thought quickly. "Listen, Ben," she began, in an effort to sound eager, "I could go with you! I could be a camp follower, and I could cook and learn to make musket balls-" As she spoke rapidly, Ben was sadly shaking his head _no_. "-and I could mend clothing and uniforms, even if my sewing isn't the best-"

"No Lissie. No, no, no," Ben told her firmly and sorrowlfully, gripping her arms at the elbows. "No, you-"

"Or I could disguise myself as a boy!" she exclaimed, nearly hysterically, her face pleading. "I could make myself look ragged and weather-beaten like a farmer-boy and-"

"Lissie, _no_." Ben gripped her hard. "Whether you were a camp follower or a boy in disguise I would always be worried about you. I wouldn't be able to do my job for always fearing for your safety. No, Felicity, it wouldn't work. And besides," he added with a sad, shy smile, "you're a growing girl. There's no way you could hide how pretty you are. 'Twould be impossible."

She began to sob quietly, and Ben gave in to the overwhelming urge to gather her to him. He pulled her to his chest and put his long arms around her thin, unresisting frame as she hugged his skinny torso with all the strength she had under the circumstances. She was tall enough so that he could press his cheek upon the top of her head, upon the soft white mobcap. Felicity wished instantly that she could pass into oblivion, here in the muffling warmth of this Ben-quilt that was wrapped around her so snuggly. Her tears were stilled by his quiet comfort. His teenage body was skinny and sinewy, but warm and solid, his heartbeat steady and hypnotizing against her ear. Lord yes, she could stay like this forever! There could never, ever be a better comfort than this.

He heard her contented sigh against him and smiled irresistably. They squeezed each other. Then Felicity slowly lifted her head to gaze at him with comforted, sleepy green eyes and Ben Davidson felt like his excited emotions had reached a bursting point. He was spell-bound, intoxicated by some faerie magic that was called Felicity. His mind gone blank, he lowered his face to hers.

CHAPTER13 FINISHED!


	14. Chapter 14 Annabelle's Vow

_**Felicity: An American Girl ROMANCE Part 1, CH14: Annabelle's Vow**_

Instinctively, Felicity Merriman lifted her own face, and her sweet lips met his. He gripped her, held her intensely as his puckered lips pressed good and hard upon hers, and thus was the first kiss of Felicity Merriman and Benjamin Davidson. 'Twas awkward, immature, innocent and unexpected, but ever so meaningful.

_Whoosh_! After several seconds, they parted and panted, breathless and stunned silent. They were both blushing red as beets, smiling like goofballs. In their stall, Penny and Patriot were watching with wide eyes and twitchy ears.

'Twas Ben who spoke first. "Um...you didn't mind that...did you?"

"No!" Felicity said in a shy whisper. She was gloriously stunned. A deep flush had come to her pixie-face, and she touched her lips lightly with trembling fingertips. "Oh, my...My first kiss...And from a Patriot soldier!"

Ben was red in the cheeks. "Well...I'm not a soldier yet." But he grinned shyly.

"'Twas nice, wasn't it?"

"Aye," he breathed, relieved that she wasn't mad at him for initiating such a bold act. "Very!" He'd never kissed a girl before. Oh, he'd imagined about what it would be like, of course, but he hadn't ever had a clear picture of what the girl would look like. Now he would always envision emerald-green eyes, autumn-red hair and a faerie-girl face.

Felicity was happier than she'd been in a long time. She put her hands upon his chest and asked eagerly, "Will you do it again?"

"You would like me to kiss you again?" Ben was happily surprised, likening himself to a starving lad who was unexpectedly being offered a second helping of desert!

"Only if you want to," Felicity replied, a little down-fallen. She'd been told by older women and her own mother how frowned upon it was for a young lady to appear eager for a boy's attentions. A true 'lady' was supposed to show restraint and hesitation. But that irritated Felicity Merriman, who believed in hiding none of her beliefs and desires. Why should she? A person could be dead by the very next morning! And when there was joy to be had, why push it away? That did not make sense to her eleven-year-old mind.

She looked at Ben uncertainly. "I mean, if you don't want to, I under-"

"Oh, I do!" Ben blurted more hopefully than he realized. "I'd like to very much, Lissie."

Her shy, enthusiastic smile reappeared as Ben took her arms and pulled her forward to him again. His tender, brown eyes had a joyful shine to them that made her knees want to knock together and buckle. He smiled that sly, playful smile of his that made her feel squirmy and squealish inside.

She closed her eyes aa his warm lips pushed firmly against hers. A tiny "Mmm!" issued from her throat that delighted Ben immensely. This time, as thier faces parted, Ben felt a rush of confidence, and kissed her cheek as well. Felicity giggled uncontrollably.

"How did you like _that_?" he wanted to know.

Felicity damn near swooned. "'Twas ever so wonderful, Ben!"

Ben was feeling _most _manly! "I'd catch fiery hell from your father if he knew I was out here, kissing you."

"But Father _doesn't _know!" Felicity protested. "And 'tis not as if you acted alone. I _wanted _you to kiss me! I liked it very much, Ben."

"Me, too," he sighed contentedly, smiling shyly.

Feeling blissfully bold herself, she flung her arms around his skinny self and hugged him fiercely. He'd barely had time to inhale! And though he was surprised at how strong she was (for his ribs were being squished), he was overjoyed to hold her so close. Strong as he knew she was now, he was still afraid he'd suffocate her to death or crush her dear slender bones if he hugged her any harder.

"I don't want to die, Lissie," he told her, as if it was some secret only the two of them should know. "Just because I'm _willing _to die for our freedom doesn't mean I want to. I _want _to come back to you, Lissie, and live in this country when it's finally free. Don't you see?"

Against his chest, her red head nodded _yes_.

Ben grinned widely and gave her ponytail a playful tug. "I guess your father is wondering why we're taking so long. I wouldn't want him to think I'm up to something...even if I was."

Felicity looked up at him and returned his grin. "I do not care!"

"Ah, Lissie..." With great reluctance, he released her but took hold of her hand. "Let me walk you back to the house before I turn in, okay?"

"Okay." She sniffed away the last of her tears for now, and gripped his hand as he began leading her out of the barn. They walked slowly.

Ben smiled at her nervously. "Are you mad...about the journal?"

She smiled back. "If you're not mad about all the things I wrote about you _in _the journal!"

"Lord, no."

Her smile became a shy grin. "No, Ben, I don't mind that you read my diary. We always tell each other everything...and you _do _know me better than anyone. I can't hide anything from you, not that I would want to." A heartbeat passed. "And not for long, either!"

Ben nodded in happy agreement. Between them, joined at the hands, their arms swung casually. Then Felicity said, "I like how we talk about things. You know, not just topics of general interest, but _important _things, like the war. And horses!"

"Aye!" agreed Ben wholeheartedly.

She sighed. "I'll have no one to talk to about important things while you're gone. I'll miss our talks terribly!"

"I'll write to you when I can," he told her encouragingly. "If your father will allow me."

"Oh, he will!" Felicity said assuringly. "I believe my whole family will be expecting you to write!" They laughed easily. There was a pause of thoughtful silence as they came to the front door and faced each other. "Ben," she began softly, curiously, "will we always be able to tell each other things? Everything? No matter what?"

Ben's handsome face was serious. "Always, Lissie. No matter what. No matter how old we get, no matter what the future holds."

Overjoyed to hear it, Felicity immediately leaned up and kissed his cheek good and hard. Even in the near-darkness she could see he reddened sentimentally. In a sly voice he added (while he still had the courage), "No matter how many kisses we manage to steal before I leave!"

"As many as you like, Ben Davidson!" she chirped. "Goodnight!" Happily she turned for the door.

"Goodnight...pretty Lissie." He grinned uncontrollably when he heard her giggle delightfully as she slipped inside. No bad dreams for either one of them tonight!

Going back to the barn, Ben was smiling without knowing it. His heart had never felt so light! He was feeling so many new and fantastic things he'd never felt before, among them a certain kind of smugness in knowing that Felicity Merriman was _his _girl and no one else's. Walter Wheaton would just have to be disappointed and look for 'potential marriage-mates' elsewhere! Tonight, soldier-to-be-Ben Davidson was going to dream about red hair, green eyes, and stealing kisses and all of the many ways to do so.

As Felicity settled in beside her sleepy younger sister, she was smiling without realizing it. Fortunately, Nan was too tuckered out from playing with William to notice, so Felicity didn't have to explain her sudden goofiness after being solemn for so long. She could still fell Ben's comforting arms around her, the solid assurance of his skinny but reliable warm frame. He'd held her with care and affection, with protectiveness as if he could sheild her from all of her fears and sorrows.

_And the kiss!_

_Kiss-es, _she reminded herself gleefully. How wonderful! She couldn't wait to tell Elizabeth! And now Ben knew she loved him! He knew she loved him and he was happy about it, _and he called her his girl_! His GIRL! Felicity Merriman slapped a hand over her mouth to keep her giggle from escaping. Tonight she would dream about soft brown eyes, strong arms, and all of the many ways kisses could be stolen. With herself taking equal part in the stealing, of course!

Was it all too good to be true?

The scene in the barn last night seemed to have changed Ben Davidson. When Felicity went out to the barn to take Penny for a ride the next morning, Ben all but leaped down the ladder in a burst of happiness and excitement, grinning with eyes fully awake and bright.

"Good morning!" he said as he came right up to her. "Taking Penny for a ride?"

"Of course!" Felicity replied cheerfully as she put Penny's reins on. Out of the corner of her eye she saw him shift about, hands in his pockets, looking like he wanted to say or ask something. So Felicity turned to him, put her hands on her hips and asked with pretend impatience, "Well, are you just going to stand there, or are you going to kiss me Good Morning?"

He blushed, grinned, stepped forward and took her shoulders, and kissed her right on the mouth. Then he said shyly, "I didn't want to seem pushy."

"You needn't be formal with _me_, Ben Davidson." She was tingling all over with delight. "A gentlewoman is not supposed to let a boy kiss her until they've courted awhile, but I am no gentlewoman. I'm beginning to think I never will be! I like being brave and outspoken too much. I know you, Ben, and you know me. If you want to kiss me, I will let you. I will let you because I want you to and I'm not afraid to admit it! How's _that _for being a gentlewoman?"

Ben simply grinned. "I want you to be yourself, Felicity Merriman! Free to speak your mind and be true to yourself and your beliefs. You know your mind better than any girl I've ever known. I've always thought gentlewomen were not allowed to know their own minds or have opinions! I'm so glad you do!"

They were both smiling at each other like sentimental goofballs again. But it felt right. Felicity felt Penny nudge her with a shoulder. "Oh! Penny! Sorry to keep you waiting." Ben held the reins while Felicity climbed up on the mare's back, adjusting herself to sit astride the horse. Though she'd finally becomed accustomed to sitting sidesaddle, she still preferred to ride as though she wore breeches.

"Shall I get Old Bess and join you?" Ben asked eagerly.

"Nay, you shall _not _get Old Bess!" Felicity answered him mischieviously. "But you _shall _join me!" With that, she scooted forward.

With absolute glee, Ben got the hint. And with absolute joy he clambered up on Penny's back behind Felicity, who giggled when he snaked his arms around her all nice and snuggly, giving her a squeeze. "Ready!"

"Oh honestly, Ben," Felicity scolded him playfully. "if you don't hold on tighter than that you'll bounce right off!"

He squeezed a little more.

Felicity rolled her eyes sarcastically. "Truly, Ben, you know how fast Penny can go. You must do better than that!"

He squeezed her so hard that this time she blurted out a startled "Ack!"

"That better?" Ben asked with pretend innocence.

She elbowed him playfully. "Much."

Both of them grinning, they took a most enjoyable ride that morning. Penny raced them around her favorite fields, along the dirt roads outside of Williamsburg on their end of the town. It was a wonderful, beautiful memory to take with him when he left to become a soldier, Ben affirmed to himself. The morning sun in their faces, Felicity's fly-away hair tickling his nose, his own arms squeezing her small ribs, the ground flying by beneath them. This was happiness he couldn't imagine ever sharing with anyone else.

"We should take more rides together," Felicity told him, saying aloud what Ben had just thought. As if the idea had jumped from his brain to her mouth.

"I completely agree, Fphlimph-"

"What's that?" Felicity slowed Penny to a brisk walk and leaned back against Ben, who was pushing her long ponytail aside. "What did you just say?"

"Your hair's in my mouth." He removed an arm just long enough to scratch his nose. "I said i completely agree, Felicity. We _should _take more rides together like this. Everyday until I..." _Blast! I'm about to depress her again!_

"Until you leave," Felicity finished for him, casually. "Aye, that would be nice!" After a moment she said, "I've accepted it, Ben. Your leaving, that is. Nothing can stop you from going, I know. You don't have to be careful around me, either. I understand it, as a Patriot, and I'm proud of you. But as your girl, I _don't _have to like it."

"I understand," Ben replied, and nothing more was said about him leaving for the rest of the ride.

In the days that followed, the energy coming from the new turn in the friendship of Felicity and Ben was difficult to contain. Ben did indeed take every opportunity to steal a kiss from his girl! Just after supper, as everyone was going into the parlor to relax for the evening, Ben and Felicity were the last to leave the mini kitchen, and Ben grabbed her wrist, pulled her back, and kissed her quickly. She could not hide her blushes, though, so she kept her head down in her chapbook as she drew and grinned to herself.

When the family decided to retire for the night, Mrs. Merriman took Polly and Nan upstairs, and William followed Mr. Merriman into his father's study (because Father's study was full of interesting things to grab!), which left Ben and Lissie momentarily alone. Seizing the moment, Ben stood, clasped his hands behind his back, and moved swiftly from the card table, over to the expecting, grinning Felicity, where he kissed her-smack!-on the mouth. She could not contain her sweet giggles as he quickly sat back down, his face red and happy.

And _then _there was a time when they were returning from a delivery, with Felicity having accompanied Ben with her father's permission (hmm...Father _did _have a spirited sparkle in his eye!). They were walking along a dry road, under the shades of over-hanging trees, when Ben took her hand and they walked along for a bit, just like that. Then Ben began to look this way and that, all around them, and Felicity grew quite confused.

"Someone's coming!" Ben declared. "In here, quick!"

"But-!" Felicity began, but couldn't finish, for Ben pulled her into the trees on their right, off the road and into the grown up bushes. At least fifteen feet from the road he found what he was looking for, a nice thick tree trunk and took Felicity behind it. He still seemed to be looking back at the road, through the greenery. Felicity giggled as she backed up to the tree trunk. Ben peered past her , past the tree trunk, his body pressing against her.

"Well, who is it?" she wanted to know.

"Ssshh!" Smiling cryptically, he gazed down at her, his beautiful brown eyes happy. "Give them time to pass." Felicity was about to ask _who? _when Ben said, "But in the mean-time..."  
His lips were on hers, pressing firmly. She closed her eyes and puckered back. Her hands rested on his slender hips as his gripped her shpulders. After a moment of lingering this way, he moved to her cheek and kissed her there, then moved to a temple and kissed her there. She sighed dreamily as he kissed her forehead, the tip of her nose, then her other cheek. he kissed her small mouth again, turned his face another angle, kissed her yet again.

Then his forehead rested against hers and he sighed, "I'm sorry, Lissie, I just couldn't help it..."

She gulped. "Help what?"

"Wanting you all to myself for a little bit," he murmered, eyes closed. "I am going to miss you _soo _much."

It would've been easy for her to tell him he didn't have to leave, to tell him his leaving was his decision and that he could still change his mind anytime, but she didn't. It seemed to her that he was already aware of that. When he lowered his face again, she just sweetly kissed his closed eyelids and whispered, "My brave Ben. You know that I will miss you more than I can say."  
They hugged. To keep the tears at bay, she finally asked, "So did _they _go by?"

Ben looked confused. "_They _who?" Felicity was grinning crookedly, and _then _he remembered his little fib! "Oh! Oh, that..."

"Aye, _that_. Shall we get back to the store before Father starts to think we both fell into a Hole to Nowhere?"

He laughed. "Aye, let's!"

So he took her hand and led her out of the foliage, back onto the road. There still wasn't anyone coming or going either way. He was still holding her hand when they got back to the store. It hadn't ocurred to either one of them that anyone who looked upon them would think they were a youthfully courting couple.

Unofficially, they were.

Also in the following days, Mr. Merriman left with Marcus on one of his commissary trips, leaving Ben and Felicity to mind the store. They had gotten used to Mr. Merriman's trips by now, and in so doing, had become quite a good team.

"I can imagine myself, you know," Ben told her one late afternoon as they were closing up the store, "with a store like this of my own...a pretty girl behind the counter to attract customers..."

Felicity grinned at him as they went down the store's steps together. "And who would this 'pretty girl' be, _Mr. _Davidson?"

"Why, my pretty Lissie, of course!" He took her hand (as he so often did these days without thinking) and told her cheerfully, "I couldn't be a very good shopkeeper without my best apprentice!"

Felicity's heart skipped a beat. In a more serious tone, she asked, "Would you really let me help you in your store, Ben?"

"Absolutely! All the time! We work well together, and you know more about what to do than _I _do!" His complements made her go red in the face.

"Will you have your store here in Williamsburg or in Yorktown?" she asked with a bright smile.

Ben smiled shyly in return. "Don't know. I haven't thought that far ahead! I do know that I just want you with me in my store."

"Oh, Ben, that would be fine! I would like that very much!"

Both of them were very pleased. Still, though, neither one of them were thinking about what all their sweet conversation was impling: To finish his apprenticeship and open his own store, he'd first have to survive and return home from the war. Then, for Felicity to be with him in his store, wherever that might be, well, that implied _marriage, _which just didn't occur to them!

When Mr. Merriman was gone on one of his trips, Ben slept in the house, with William. It made Felicity feel safe and excited to know he was just in the next room. During the day, she helped Ben out at the store until she had to go to her lessons with Elizabeth, then she returned to the store later that afternoon to help Ben close, then they'd go home together, hand in hand.

Felicity finally told Elizabeth about Ben reading her journal and now stealing kisses from her every chance he got one afternoon, as the two girls were strolling by to see Big brutus on their way to the store. When Felicity told Elizabeth about Ben's first kiss, Elizabeth squealed with delight and rapidly stomped her dainty feet on the dry dirt road.

"...and he's kissed me as often as he can ever since!"

Elizabeth squealed a second time. "Oooo, Lissie, how fantastic! How utterly wonderful! You simply _must _tell me what it's like! Do tell me _now_!"

Felicity giggled happily. "Elizabeth, it is simply _divine_! His lips are soft and warm and he smells so manly and musky-I just wanted to melt!"

"Did you swoon?"

"Nay, but almost!"

Elizabeth grabbed her friend's nearest arm. "Did he kiss you with his mouth closed, or with his mouth open, like adults do?"

"He kissed me like this." Felicity demonstrated with puckered lips. "He is sweet and strong, and he's gentle with me, even if he does seem to be a bit excited. Nay, we have not yet kissed like Mother and Father do." She smiled wickedly. "Yet."

"Oh, Lissie, would you?" Elizabeth's eyes were wide with thrill. "Would you let Ben kiss you with his mouth open?"

"Hmm, I don't know!" Truthfully, Felicity hadn't thought about it. She was so caught up in the whirlwind of newfound love that it had not yet occured to her until now. She had witnessed passionate kissing before, having come upon courting couples down by the pond when she'd been out exploring the woods. She'd seen how their open mouths were sealed over their partner's as if they were attempting to suck the other's breath out of their lungs. At the time, she'd just snickered and thought it was gross and bizarre-looking. Now, however, it didn't seem so gross. Quite contrary, it was rather...amorous.

"Felicity?" Elizabeth asked.

"Hmm?" Felicity had been tapping her lips with a finger, wondering what it would feel like for Ben to kiss her that way, when Elizabeth had interrupted her thoughts. "Oh. It seems so awkward, to have someone else's tongue in your mouth, doesn't it? But when I've seen girls kiss their fellows that way, they seem to like it."

"Truly," agreed Elizabeth, with a dreamy smile. "So, would you let Ben kiss you that way?"

"Goodness, Elizabeth! I just don't know! I-I don't think I'm ready for _that _manner of kissing yet. Maybe Ben knows that and that's why his kisses are so..tame." She smiled, feeling warm all over at the thought of Ben's mouth.

Elizabeth nodded understandingly. "He's very attentive to you, isn't he?"

"Aye. I'm going to miss that so very much!"

Felicity sighed. _The sigh of a heavy heart, _Elizabeth thought, as she studied her friend's pained expression. _If Arthur decides to fight in the war I will pummel him black and blue! But if he were to go, at least Lissie will not be so alone in her misery! _Elizabeth slipped her arm around Felicity's and offered her a sympathetic smile. "Do cheer up, Lissie," she said encouragingly. "We will keep busy so you won't have time to worry!"

"Thank you, Elizabeth," Felicity said gratefully. "Mayhaps a great quantity of sewing is just what I need!"

"I'll help you with your sewing, and you can help me with my drawing!"

"Agreed." Felicity was immensely grateful and relieved for Elizabeth's support. She would need all the preoccupying she could get, and indeed there was no greater way of passing lots of time than-_ye gods_-sewing. Soldiers needed clothing, uniforms and stockings. Women all over the colonies were making their own clothing and dresses since they were now refusing material and dresses made in England. As much as Felicity Merriman loathed sewing, she had to admit to herself that it wouldn't be so bad if it helped soldiers in need. Aye, she was willing.

If her Ben could go be a soldier, then by crackety, she could become a patriot seamstress!

Annabelle Cole was fuming. She'd been doing her best to try and forget about ben Davidson the past couple of weeks, but she just couldn't stop. In her life, she'd always gotten what she wanted, She _still _wanted Ben. Why couldn't she just let go of him? After all the effort she'd been putting into trying to get his attention since the day the Coles had arrived in this lack-luster little town, she had nothing to show for it. the handsome, swoon-worthy shopkeeper's apprentice showed no more interest in her than he did a gram of tea!

She walked alone along Duke of Gloucester Street, toward Merriman's Store. She couldn't think of anything to pretend to be looking at-she'd simply exhausted her antsy brain of items to pretend to be interested in! So she'd left Elizabeth at Pratt's jewelry Shop to have tea with that little Arthur and his giggly Mama, and now she was going to go into Merriman's Store and ask Ben Davidson flat out why he couldn't be interested in her. An angry, fuming notion in her head told her to abandon this crusade once and for all, as Elizabeth had so urgently begged her to, but her heart wasn't ready to let it go! How could she just give up the fight when her heart wasn't willing!

Ben was handsome, strong, wealthy. He radiated intensity and youthful manliness. All he needed was the right gentlewoman to help him organize his life! How could _anyone _believe Felicity Merriman was the right girl for him? She was rude, wild-no! Annabelle lifted her chin. No, she was not go ing to allow the Merriman brat to anger her today! She had serious business with Ben. She was going to settle the matter once and for all, and she had to apply her positive energy to _being _positive!

She was nervous, walking by herself, unescorted. She was used to having Elizabeth walking begrudgingly behind her just a step. It didn't occur to her that the way she flounced along with her pointy nose in the air and an "approach me and die, knave!" expression on her face made any would-be suitor want to give her a wide berth, as ships sailing the upper North atlantic would when trying to avoid an ice berg!

Before she knew it, she was up the steps of Merriman's Store and inside. Not very many customers today, much to her relief, unless he was out on a delivery, Ben shouldn't be busy. Pursing her lips, she looked about and saw Mr. Merriman chatting cordially with a gentleman at the collection of pipes. Mr. Merriman's black man-what was his name? Lucas? Marcus?-was bringing in sacks of rice from the back of the store. So where was Ben?

"Miss Cole? May I help you?" Mr. Merriman, having finished with his customer, strolled up to her, hands clasped behind his back.

She swallowed, brought her chin up, and asked with a cock of her eyebrow, "Is Ben here?"

Amused at once, Mr. Merriman smiled. "Why, yes he is, Miss Cole. I believe he's unloading a cart out back. He should be done soon." Knowing the answer already and finding humor in it, he added, "Is there something _I _can help you with?"

"No, sir. But thank you." She attempted the slightest of polite smiles. "I shall wait."

"Very well, Miss Cole." He smiled again, looked over at a woman who was at the counter and waving for assistaence. "Excuse me!"

Annabelle watched him pass and frowned. Her foot tapped on the wooden floorboards impatiently. If she had known she would have to wait so long she wouldv'e waited another day. Gentlewomen were _not _supposed to pursue men! Flirting was one thing, asking a boy right out why couldn't he be interested in her was quite another! Sometimes she wished there were not so many rules in being a gentlewoman!

Annabelle rolled her dark brown eyes. This waiting would not do. She whirled and flounced out, unable to stand it any longer. Ben was supposedly around back of the store, unloading a cart. She would therefore go around to the back of the store and speak with him there.

The little alley between Merriman's Store and the building beside of it was empty. However, as she neared the rear of the store, she heard Ben's voice and...and giggling. She stopped, having recognized that pixie-giggle.

Felicity Merriman.

Frowning heavily, Annabelle crept slowly toward the two barrels and stack of empty wooden crates at the corner of the store. The closer she came, the more clearly she could hear Felicity's and Ben's voices. Irritated but determined, she bent down (not even caring if her petticoats brushed the dirt) and waddled up to the crates and barrels. Ever so slowly, she raised her mobcapped head until she could see over the top of one of the barrles and see what was going on...then when she did, it was an actual surprise neither Felicity or Ben heard her gasp.

They were standing on the steps of the back porch. Ben had a firm hold on Felicity's shoulders as he lowered his head to hers. His full puckered lips pressed firmly to Felicity's, and he held her that way for _quite _a few seconds. Annabelle had gasped, but so into each other were Ben and Felicity that they did not hear. They were only five feet away. Annabelle's mouth remained open as she stared at them, outraged and _en_raged. She wanted to scream at them! She wanted to grab that Felicity brat and tear her red hair out by the roots. She wanted to grab Ben by the collar and plant her own mouth on his! _No, no you should be kissing ME, Ben Davidson! Oh, damn that Felicity Merriman! Damn her straight to hell! Why couldn't you die of your blasted illness, you little whore!_

Oblivious to the insanely angry Annabelle watching them from behind one of the barrels, Ben and Felicity parted lips and grinned at each other, breathing deeply. Ben's hands came up to either side of her neck, and he bent down and nipped her soft little earlobe brazenly.

"Be-en!" Felicity protested ticklishly, delighting in Ben's audacious playfulness.

"What?" he asked with mock innocence. "Did you not bring me a basket of goodies to sample?"

Her face felt wildly hot! "I brought that basket of cookies for Father, Marcus _and _you! The 'goodies', as you say, are for all three men working in the store. I didn't think you would mistake _me _for a goodie!"

Ben grinned impishly. "But you have the cutest little ears-like a pixie! Yummy, too." He made to nip at her other ear lobe, but she squealed shrilly and drew back, giggling wickedly.

"Ben, I've got to get home and help Mother with-"

"Oh, no you don't, pretty Lissie!" He caught her arm and pulled her back up on the step she'd been standing on. "Not yet, anyway." His mischevious expression turned gentle and more serious. "I want one more..."

"Well..."

Again their lips met in the most fearsome pucker that Annabelle Cole had ever seen. She watched Felicity Merriman's eyes flutter and shut uncontrollably, and despite her jelousy, rage and hatred, briefly imagined herself in Felicity's place, recieving that kiss that looked so immature but was so obviously meaningful. Sincere and emotion-charged that its appearance didn't matter. The two of them gazed at each other with such understanding and feeling that it made Annabelle's knees tremble. Why oh why couldn't Ben love _her_? What was it about that horrible Felicity that made Ben prefer her to someone refined, proper, prettier..._like me! _Annabelle thought wretchedly. _Oh Ben, why not ME? Why can't you want ME?_

As Felicity bid her Patriot Ben a 'see you at home', Annabelle Cole's eyes filled with spiteful, anguished tears, blurring her vision. She slipped from her hiding spot, strode back out to Duke of Gloucester Street and stopped to compose herself. She would sob out her rancor and malice into a pillow later tonight. Right now, though, she had to do _something_. Felicity Merriman could not go unpunished.  
For that matter, neither could Ben Davidson.

If looks could set fire, Merriman's Store would've been in ashes. Annabelle gritted her teeth, set her hands into fists, and marched toward the store steps. An idea had just popped into her head. It wasn't the best one, but it would do at the moment. It would suffice until she could think of something better, and she eventually would, for she was Annabelle Cole, and she was NOT going to be dismissed by Ben Davidson as if she were a nobody!

The little Merriman bitch was going to pay no matter how long it took!

Later that evening at the Merriman house, after everyone sans William and Nan retired to the parlor for a while, Mr. Merriman sat with little Polly on his lap, watching Ben and Felicity play checkers at the card table. Often they'd share a grin or a look, like they were sharing a secret that only the two of them knew about. Edward Merriman had no doubt that they did. But he contemplated the recent information that had been brought to light that afternoon by an unexpected source. That, and something else he had learned about upon his recent return from his latest trip. Both concerned his apprentice, and Felicity for that matter. He contemplated bringing up one of those items of interesting information now.

Polly had drifted off to sleep in the cozy comfort of her father's arms, so Mr. Merriman gently rose and stepped over to the cradle, knelt down, and placed his precious youngest in its cushioned bed. After exchanging a warm smile with his wife, who had stopped in mid-stitch to watch her handsome husband with their baby, he straightened and put his hands into his waistcoat pockets.  
Felicity and Ben, having sensed him about to speak, looked up from their game.

"Ben, I have some rather interesting news that you might find to your liking," he told the curious apprentice at the card table. "Maybe even useful in your path to becoming a soldier."

Ben gulped, Felicity's smile faded, and Mrs. Merriman lowered her sewing.

"What is it, sir?" Ben asked, with anxious eyes. Felicity noted nervously that there was far too much excitement in his voice.

"On my way back into town yesterday, I met a most fascinating young fellow-perhaps you've heard of him, by the name of Captain Henry Lee?"

Much to Felicity's dismay, Ben's handsome face was bright with eager enthusiasm. "Aye, sir! He's training men in the fields outside of Williamsburg! Mostly cavalry."

Mr. Merriman nodded pleasantly. "That's right. During his break we struck up a conversation, about horses, wouldn't you know it? And the next thing I knew, I was telling him all about my apprentice-who-turns-eighteen next Thursday, and how my young lad is energetic, determined, and has the best horse-sense of any young man I've ever known, having come from a fine Yorktown family that deals in horses."

Felicity swore to God she saw tears in the corners of Ben's eyes. Anyone with half a wit could see where Father was going with this, and Lissie didn't like it.

CHAPTER FINISHED!


	15. Chapter 15 Light Horse Harry

**Felicity: An American Girl Romance Part1, **CH15: Light Horse Harry

Felicity could see where her father was going with this Captain Lee business, and the dread that had been haunting her for months began to increase by the second.

"Putting it bluntly, Ben," Mr. Merriman continued, "Captain Lee would like to meet you. That is, if you would care to meet him...talk horses...maybe, talk about joining his troop. That is, if you're interested-"

"Sir!" Ben blurted wildly, "oh yes! I'd like that very much! Sir, you have no idea-I-I-I'm honored, I'm grateful! I-you just have no idea!"

Edward Merriman grinned. "I think maybe I do, Ben!" Ben was seemingly close to hysterics. He gestured, his mouth open, eyes bugged wide, so absolutely astonished that he could no longer speak the King's English. Felicity frowned and folded her arms. So, Ben's dream was going to come true after all. Her's wasn't. Her's was to have Ben safe here in Williamsburg with her. Ben was going to join a cavalry and get shot off a horse.

_Well that's one_ _I haven't had a nightmare about YET_, she thought bitterly.

Mrs. Merriman smiled at Ben warmly. "I take it, Ben, the cavalry would be acceptable to you?"

"Oh yes, ma'am!" exclaimed he, having found his voice again. "'Tis more than I could've ever hoped for! All the fellows have seen Captain Lee and his men practicing. They're a fine bunch! They say he's bold and daring and clever-wow! Oh wow!"

Mr. Merriman noticed Felicity's scowl. "Lissie, dearest, are you not excited for our Ben?" All eyes were on her then. She rose, let out a sigh, and replied coolly, "No, I'm not."

"Lissie!" Ben nearly squeaked, stepping over to her. "Surely you are! I'm going to join up with Captain Henry Lee, if he'll have me! You more than anyone knows how much I'd love it. You have to be happy for me!"

"Oh no I don't," she retorted, stepping back away from him, hurt to the core.

Ben swallowed with difficulty. "Lissie, why-?"

She shook her head angrilly and sorrowfully. "Because you don't know what this means, Ben Davidson! This means you'll be up on a horse, where you'll be an easy target for the British! They'll spot you easily and shoot you right off! You're just asking to get killed! " Tears stung her eyes and she turned her back on him.

"Lissie, please," Ben appealed, coming close to her. His voice had softened, for he remembered her ever-taunting fear for his life. "Just becaise I'll be in the cavalry doesn't mean I'll be on a horse. Cavalries also have foot soldiers. They're just mostly known for their mounted soldiers."

She rolled her eyes. "You don't say."

His heart ached for her. "Don't be cross, Lissie, please? I need you to be happy for me-I need your support." He put a gentle, warm hand on her shoulder.

Mr. and Mrs. Merriman exhanged an emotional look.

Under his touch, her anger instantly melted. Sadness took its place. She sighed miserably. "I told you, Ben, I'm proud of you. I really am. And of course you have my support. But-" She turned around slowly. "-Everyday that comes closer to your leaving, the possibility of you getting killed becomes more real. I think of my nightmares and how real they could become. Can you blame me for not wanting you to come home to us in a wooden box like Michael Moffitt?"

Ben Davidson grew serious. He inhaled, looked her in her emerald eyes, and spoke suddenly as the mature young man he'd steadily been becoming. "I have been doing alot of thinking lately, Felicity. About being a soldier, fighting, you, your family...mostly you. The past couple of weeks have been terrific, Lissie. I've cherished every moment we've spent together. And in that time I've thought a lot about you, about us, the future..."

Edward Merriman opened his mouth to speak, but Martha was so quick to clamp her hand over it as she sprang from her seat that he nearly jumped out of his skin!

Felicity's beautiful green eyes filled with tears that threatened to spill. "I thought that after all the time we've spent together you wouldn't want to leave. Some small part of me still wanted to believe you would change your mind."

"No, Lissie," he told her sadly, but he smiled, for his heart held so much love for her it was near to breaking. "In fact, 'twas the time we've spent together that's made me add more to the reasons I want to go!"

"What do you mean? I don't understand." Felicity did indeed look confused, even though Edward and Martha Merriman looked at each other with the comprehension of what was coming.

Ben moved closer still, his brown eyes unblinking. "I'm going to fight for our freedom, aye, but I'm going-" he breathed deep "-to make myself worthy of you, Lissie."

"Wh-What?"

"That's right. I'm going to make a man out of myself so I can return to you and be worthy of your father's permission to court you properly. I'm going to do right by you and your family so you can be proud of me."

The tears she'd been holding back spilled now, as she faught to control the urge to sob aloud. "B-But Ben, I am proud of you! I've told you that many times already! You don't have to go get yourself killed for that!"

There were tears in his eyes, too. "I need to do it for me, too, Lissie, so I can feel worthy of you! Because...because I love you! I love you, Felicity Merriman!" "Oh Ben!" Sobbing, she stepped into his arms and he squeezed her to himself with all the love in his being.

At the entryway, Nan and William, who had just come from their upstairs bath and were now clad in fresh nightwear, appeared as two little heads peering around the wall, Nan's above William's. They shrank back around the wall in amazement.

"Lissie loves Ben!" declared one.

"Ben loves Lissie!" proclaimed the other.

Staying close to the wall, they poked their heads back around to continue watching the drama unfold.

Felicity lifted her head and Ben wiped away the streams of tears upon her cheeks with much tenderness. "I love you, too, Ben Davidson! You know that."

"Aye, I know." He sniffed and smiled. "Now you have to know that I love you, too. You have to know. I told you once before, but it was while you were ill and I guess you didn't hear me."

Felicity thought quickly, remembering. "Ben...I did! I did hear you! I thought I was just dreaming. Actually, I think I was dreaming while I heard you!"

"You did?" Ben grinned happily.

She nodded vigorously.

So joyful was Ben that he crushed her to him again. This time, Mr. Merriman couldn't keep quiet. After all, he was the father! Beside him, his wife sniffed away her own happy tears. Mr. Merriman put on his best calm-face and quite loudly cleared his already cleared throat. Both Ben and Felicity jumped, suddenly remembering that the parents Merriman were still present in the room and had therefore seen and heard everything, and they each took a step back, blushing intensely. Mr. Merriman couldn't help but feel humored by their guilty, nervous expressions as the two of them fidgeted. In a fleeting moment, he was reminded of a time when he and Martha were cought in a similar situation as this by Martha's father, and he couldn't help but chuckle.

"Ben, Felicity," he began, sounding more authorative than his amused expression could match, "is there something you would like to explain to us?"

"Now, Edward," Mrs. Merriman whispered out the side of her mouth, "go easy."

Ben and Felicity exchanged a nervous look, then Ben stepped forward. "Sir," he began in the most bravest tone he could summon, "I'm sorry if I seemed to you to overstep my boundaries." He gulped. "I'm sorry if I seem rude or it looks like I'm taking liberties with Felicity. I don't mean it to seem that way, because I'm not! I love Felicity, sir, ma'am-I'm declaring it here and now. And Felicity loves me."

He was scared as hell as to what response this was going to bring, but he sensed Felicity standing close beside him, and he took her hand in his. She gave it a firm squeeze, which in turn gave him the sudden burst of courage he needed to finish his oration. "We love each other. And I meant every word I said, sir. I'm nothing right now. Just an apprentice with a head full of dreams and ideas, but I'm going to return and finish my obligation to you. I'm going to return worthy of your permission to court Felicity in the manner that's appropriate. If you'll allow me to, s-sir."

Edward Merriman folded his arms across his chest and favored his nervous apprentice with such a stern, inspectful gaze that Martha Merriman was doing her best not to burst out laughing. "'Twas the same expression her own father used on Edward when they were younger! Although her husband's was more exaggerated, bordering on comical, Martha had no doubt that Ben was taking it seriously and probably as close to soiling his breeches as he'd ever been in his young life!

The tense moment lingered a few more seconds...then Mr. Merriman dropped his arms to his sides and laughed heartily, unable to keep a straight face any longer. Ben and Felicity exchanged statled looks as Mrs. Merriman beamed and squeezed her husbans's arm.

"Good Lord, Ben, you remind me of me!" Mr. Merriman grinned and shook his head. He strolled over, put a hand on one of Ben's shoulders and the other upon one of Felicity's. "Both of you relax, won't you? Ben, I know how you and Felicity feel about each other-I have for some time now. Martha and I were once your ages, you know!"

Ben blinked in awe, found his voice again. "S-So, then, you don't mind that I-that we-I mean, that Felicity and I-?"

Mr. Merriman sighed pleasantly. "Young Ben, I've known for quite awhile about the special bond you and Lissie share. Its no surprise to us at all. Mind you, I had always thought Lissie would be older than eleven when she took interest in boys, but I know you, Ben. You're a part of this family. You've shared many joys and hardships with us. Were you any other boy, I would not be about to say what I'm about to say now.  
"Lissie's right: you don't need to go get yourself killed in a war just to prove any kind of worthiness. To me, to Martha, and to Felicity, you are a fine young man with plenty of worth. But as a man, I can understand your need to prove yourself, having once upon a time, myself, felt the importance in striving to gain my lady's favor."

"Which you already had," Mrs. Merriman pointed out, smiling knowingly. "I didn't need you to go to war for me. Neither did my father."

Mr. Merriman nodded patiently, smiling back at her. "Sometimes, though, dearest wife, a man feels like he needs to prove something to himself. He himself wants to fell worthy of his lady's love."

"Exactly, sir!" Ben said quickly, much to Felicity's chagrin.

"And you, Miss Felicity," Mr. Merriman said to his eldest daughter, who'd been looking like she'd been stewing, "are still only eleven. A very intelligent eleven, too, I might add. You love Ben, I understand, and it makes my heart glad. I approve."

Both Ben and Felicity let out long sighs of relief.

Mr. Merriman wasn't finished, though. "I can give Ben my permission to court you, Lissie-" Felicity was about to squeal with jubilation, Edward could see, but he held up a hand quickly "-but when he returns. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Father," Felicity beamed.

"You are still so very young," Mr. Merriman continued. "You are both to understand that neither one of you is obligated to the other. I hold fast to Felicity being sixteen before any courtship begins officially. However, Ben...you're the most reliable, forthright lad I know, and if, well...you and Lissie wish to spend time together before you leave, I will not object. You both have minded the store together plenty, and have done well, I must add. Ben, you escort Lissie about town, you both share this home together, so it would seem you spend much time together already!"

Everyone chuckled.

Mr. Merriman smiled warmly at them all. "So now, before we all turn in, I would like to speak with you, Ben, for a moment, and-" his voice rose callingly "-Nan and William, you may come in to say goodnight, if you will!" Mischevious giggles were heard before the two little ones came scampering around the wall, William holding to the back of Nan's nightgown as she towed him along. They went straight to Mrs. Merriman and stood shyly at her skirts on either side.

Nan looked up at her mother and stated, "Lissie loves Ben!"

Felicity turned red. Sure, the whole family knew about it now, and that in itself was a relief, but she wasn't used to hearing it yelled!

"Ssshh, dear, it is time for bed," Mrs. Merriman soothed happily.

"Ben and Lissie, Lissie and Ben," sang William, who's head was buried shyly in his momma's skirt, "love, love, love!"

"Goodnight, my silly ones," Mr. Merriman said to the giggling duo, then he looked to his blushing apprentice, gestured toward the door. "Shall we?"

"Yessir. Sleep well, Lissie."

"Goodnight, Ben." They smiled at each other. Felicity figured her father wanted to talk some more about Captain Henry Lee. It made her nervous, aye, Ben's upcoming departure, yet she was mighty proud. Indeed, the young men in town often spoke of the dashing young Captain Lee as though they admired him greatly. Felicity had never seen the captain herself, but now she was determined to.  
She would pass her own judgement on this young officer, determine for herself if he seemed the type of daring sort that might get her Ben killed or, or the type of daring that would keep her Ben safe.

_Oh Lissie! _she scolded herself incredulously as she clomped upstairs, _'tis a war! _No _one is safe! But mayhaps Captain Lee is sensible_. _Mayhaps he will not stick Ben up on a horse to be shot off_.  
_Nay! Ben is excellent with a horse! Mr_. _Lee will see that and put him on the biggest horse he can find_. _Oh blast! Ben_, _what are you getting into?_

Ben was assuming Mr. Merriman wanted to talk to him some more about Captain Lee when they stepped outside upon the porch, but he was taken by surprise when his master came out with, "Ben, you were caught unawares in your actions earlier today. Do you know what I mean?"

"SIr?" Nay, he did not! His befuddlement was plain on his face.

Mr. Merriman did not sound nor look angry or irritated, but merely speculative and studious, as he always did when he was trying to get to the heart of a matter. He cocked his head and gave Ben the questioning eye, and Ben felt at an absolute loss as to what his master was implying. He shook his head in confusion and shifted his weight from one leg to the other.

Mr. Merriman lifted his chin a bit. "I recieved an interesting bit of information this afternoon concerning your behavior behind the store just after Felicity left her basket with us..." He saw Ben's brown eyes go wide. "Before I say from whom I got this information from, young Ben, is there anything you would like to confess to me?"

Ben looked scared again. But he swallowed, looked at the ground, and inhaled deeply. Surely Felicity herself hadn't told her father about them kissing! No, she wouldn't have-she knew her father would most likely disapprove and scold the both of them. But yet-but yet-it seemed that Mr. Merriman did know. Someone must have seen them and told him. But who? Ben didn't remember seeing anyone out behind the store but himself and Felicity. And Felicity simply wouldn't just run and tell her father about...about their playful kissing, she just wouldn't. Someone had seen them.

"Sir," he began slowly, anxiously, "I was out behind the store with Felicity as she was leaving. I was done unloading the cart, and...well...we were happy, sir, with the way things are between us now, and we-we-we, um, I was kissing Felicity!"

A corner of Edward Merriman's mouth turned up. 'Twas not the reaction Ben Davidson had expected. Then it occurred to him that if Mr. Merriman was truly upset with them, he would have said or done something about it before now, before he'd brought up Captain Lee or his approval of their new-found feelings! Mr. Merriman knew about their stolen kisses even as he was telling Felicity that he approved, and that he would allow Ben to court her oficially when Ben returned! He knew, and he did not let on!

Until now, that is.

Ben felt a spark of hope and spoke fast. "Felicity kissed me back, too, sir, and we were happy. 'Twas harmless! She was happy, sir! We were both happy. I would never, ever force affections on Felicity, sir, not ever! You know me better than that!"

"Calm down, Ben-"

"I would never hurt Felicity, or take liberties with her! I love her very much, sir, and she loves me back! I swear I-"

"Ben!" Mr. Merriman blurted, amusedly but firmly, "do calm down now, there's no need to get upset! I know, all right? I know you love her. i said as such inside, did I not?"

"Aye, sir," Ben gulped.

"Ben, Annabelle Cole came into the store today, asking to see you," Mr. Merriman told him matter-of-factly. "I told her you were out back, unloading a cart and that you would be done soon. But, knowing Miss Cole as we do, 'twas no surprise that she quickly became impatient, and apparently went out to find you, saw you and Lissie, and flew into a jelous rage."

"Oh." Ben sighed and shook his head. That figured.

Mr. Merriman looked tolerant, however. A moment of silence followed, then he said, "Like I told you inside, Ben, I trust you. I know you'd never take advantage of her in any way. Obviously she trusts you completely. I was young once, too, Ben. I know how happy and romantic it feels to be smitten with a beautiful young girl." He grinned then. "But Martha's father wasn't as lenient with me as I am with you. He wanted to put me through my paces, figure out whether I was worthy enough for his daughter. True, he didn't feel I needed to go west and fight Indians to prove myself, but I did." Ben nodded, listening intently. When his master did not speak again right away, he added, "But..."

"But what?" Mr. Merriman inquired softly. "Just be a gentleman with her, Ben. Be good to her. She's only eleven and she loves you. That's all."

Ben released such a sigh of relief 'twas a wonder he did not need to sit down for a spell. Edward Merriman clapped a hand on the boy's back and chuckled. "Go turn in, lad. Get some sleep. Captain Lee will be by the store tomorrow."

"Yessir!"

As Ben started toward the barn and Mr. Merriman started inside, a red-headed figure that had been looking down upon them from her open window stepped back from it and closed it as quietly as possible. Felicity Merriman was smiling sentimentally, as she had heard every word that had passed between her father and Ben. Aye, she was sore irritated that Annabelle had spied on them, but she was even more elated to know that Father was not mad at them for stealing a few kisses in playful innocence. Of course Ben was good to her! He was considerate and flat-out wonderful! He could never be anything but! She slipped into bed beside Nan, pulled their sheet up to just her waist, for the September night was still too warm to cover up completely, and thoughts of Ben's brown eyes were making her warm enough already!

"Felicity," Nan began eagerly, turning on her side to face her sleepy sister, "do you truly love Ben?"

"Yes, Nan, I truly do." Felicity smiled patiently. "He is a very special boy."

But Nan Merriman wasn't too certain of that. "But he's just Father's apprentice, and he's going to war."

_Thank you_, _Nan_, _for your expert observations! _"Yes, he is both. But I love him dearly, and that is what matters most."

Nan squirmed impatiently. "Has he kissed you?"

"Yes."

"Oooo, Lissie!" She slapped a hand over her mouth and gave a little squeal. "You've been kissed by a boy! On the mouth did he?"

Felicity grinned helplessly. "Yes."

Nan gasped. "Ewww! Lissie, how could you let him! 'Tis very improper! 'Tis _most _improper! Did you like it?"

"Yes." When Nan made a face, Felicity just chuckled lightly and said, "When you're older you will understand better. And I don't care if I'm being improper. A person can't be proper all the time! 'Tis much too boring."

"Does Ben love _you_?" Nan wanted to know.

Again, "Yes. He told me so. Now you and William can tease me all you want, but 'tis no laughing matter. Love is a very serious thing. 'Tis more than a fancy."

Nan suddenly turned somber-an eerie quality of hers, that she could go from playful youngster to serious adult-like in a flash. "Ben is the reason you have the nightmares, isn't he?"

Felicity didn't know how to respond to that, for Nan was nerve-wracking when she was trying to get to the point. She rested her hands upon her tummy and replied, "Well, Nan, I suppose you could say so...I'm so afraid he'll be killed that I have the most horrible dreams, and-"

"So he is, then," Nan interrupted solemnly, turning onto her back like Felicity. "How can you love someone who gives you bad dreams and makes you sick over them? I dislike him very much for that."

"Oh, Nan!" Felicity raised her head quickly. "Nan, Ben is not to blame, really! I am, because I love him so much! Worrying is just something you do naturally when you love someone and you don't want to lose them, because if anything happened to them, you'd just..."

Die? Felicity couldn't finish. Nan realized that, sighed, and shut her eyes. Felicity looked down at her a moment before slowly putting her own head back down. "I don't want Ben to be killed, Nan. Don't you understand?"

"Yes, I understand." But she sounded tense, unwilling to accept Felicity's reasoning. In her mind, Nan disliked Ben more and more for making her dearest sister worry so. She was well aware, this young girl of seven, that love was serious business, but Ben Davidson seemed to be quite a bit of trouble, always talking about war and fighting, having run away from Father, teaching Lissie unladylike things such as whistling, fishing and-and kissing! He made her uneasy, that Ben.

But Felicity loved him.

Maybe after he left and some time had passed Felicity wouldn't love him so much and worry so. No, Nan didn't want Ben to get killed, either, for that would make the whole family very sad, and there had been more than enough sadness when Grandfather had died. But maybe, just maybe, Felicity's burden wouldn't be so heavy after Ben had been gone for a while.

Nan did indeed hope so!

Felicity knew she'd be late for her lessons with Ms. Manderly today, but she felt she truly did have an excellent reason. She was going to see this Captain Lee for herself. She minded the counter at the store while Ben did this and that, trying to keep busy and not be so nervous about the Captain's arrival. Father was in the back with his log books, and Marcus was out on a delivery.

When the store was empty of customers for the moment, Felicity slapped her hand down on the counter top, which made Ben jump where he stood, restacking fabric bolts for the fifth time. He looked at her with raised eyebrows. "Ben, do relax, won't you? The fabric table was already exceptionally tidy before you assailed it!"

He heaved a nervous sigh and grinned. "Sorry. I'm just a bit anxious." Eyeing her slyly, he patted the fabric stack nearest to him, then strolled over to the counter in fromt of her, leaned forward on his arms. "I do wish Annabelle would come by-she always has a way of soothing my nerves."

"Ha!" said Felicity, leaning forward on her arms, too. "Maybe you should kiss me and that way she will!" Her smart smirk was irresistable.

First Ben looked left, then he looked right, then he leaned further in, cocked his head and pressed his puckered lips to hers and lingered that way as long as he dared. One thing among many he'd learned since this new evolution in their friendship was that his pretty Lissie had remarkably soft, sweet lips. Getting fuller as she aged, pinker, more alluring. Harder to resist, eager for what his own could teach her.

But he would not push. Oh no, he dare not. She was eleven, and he loved her. One day, though, he kept telling himself, he would kiss her the way grown ups do, with all that that implied. As well, one day he would also-

The clearing of a throat interrupted their sweet mouths, making them both jump back instinctively and look toward the source of the sound. The front doors had been left open to let in what breeze there was, so there had been no sounding of the door's bell to warn them. But standing there, just inside the doors, was a young man of about twenty, maybe older, not especially tall but tall enough, with neatly groomed and powdered blond hair, rounded chin, and playful blue eyes. He was fit but skinny, clad in black boots, breeches, and waistcoat under a billowy white cotton shirt that had the sleeves rolled up, for it was a horribly hot day.

Felicity gulped. He was a handsome young lad, all energy and enthusiasm, grinning at them widely as she and Ben stood there with faces nearly as red as Felicity's hair.

"Far be it for me to interrupt a fellow when he's with his pretty lass," he began cheerfully in a clear, admiring tone, "but is there an Edward Merriman about?"

"Ye-yessir," Ben stammered, having straightened up immediately. "He's in the back room. I shall fetch him for you!"

"Thank you, lad." As Ben whirled and strode to the back of the store, the young man cast his pleasant gaze to the suddenly shy Felicity standing behind the counter. She shifted about nervously and smiled, as kindly as she could for someone who had just been caught kissing.

"Might I help you, sir?" she asked brightly, her face feeling hot.

"Mayhaps," replied the man with a smile. "You could tell me your name, pretty miss."

"Felicity, sir." She curtsied briefly. "Felicity Merriman. This is my father's store."

"Ah, I see! I've been in here plenty of times, but this is the first I've sen of you. And I had begun to think you were just a lovely apprentice!"

Felicity beamed. "Oh, no, sir, I am no apprentice! I help my father whenever I can, but his apprentice is the boy you just saw."

The young man grinned. "So that was Ben Davidson?"

"Yessir..." She gasped suddenly, her green eyes staring wide. "Are you-are you-Captain Henry Lee?"

The young man just grinned.

CHAPTER 15 FINISHED!  
AUTHOR'S BABBLE: I have always had a thing for Harry Lee. There's a painting of him done by someone-can't think of his name right now-but it has Harry in a green dragoon jacket and helmet, from the waist up on a horse, obviously, and he looks-well, HOT. I like me some historical hotties! Any of you seen that pic of Banastre Tarleton in his painted-on white breeches? WHEW! But I want Ben to have his time in the army, but instead of making him a regular soldier, I thought it would be interesting to have him in the cavalry! He loves horses, and according to my research, Harry Lee was in Williamsburg, or just outside if it, at this time, summer into fall of 1776.

I am currently having alot of trouble getting more chapters posted. Those of you who have been reading this story on my livejournal page know that there are more chapters to part one than this. And if those of you who have posted lengthy stories on know of how one can post more chapters on a story than a mere 15, give me a holler. I mean it. Yell at me. Author has no shame. At least not at this point.


	16. Chapter 16 Ben Is In!

_**Felicity: An American Girl Romance, Part 1, Ch. 16: Ben Is In!**_

The handsome young man leaned toward her with a light-hearted sparkle in his blue eyes. "I prefer _Harry _to Henry. Sounds much more sporting, doesn't it?"

Felicity giggled delightfully. Although she liked _Henry_, too, _Harry _was just fine with her! Harry Lee favored her with a genuine, friendly smile and asked, "So what can you tell me about Mr. Davidson, Miss Merriman?"

It occured to Felicity that she could make an impression here-she could help Ben look deserving or _un_qualifyable, if the captain was truly going to take her words into his consideration. And she knew what she wanted to say, regardless of Ben's future, regardless of her own feelings. The truth.

"Ben is a brave lad!" she told him determinedly. "And a firm Patriot! He has a good heart and he's always willing to help wherever he thinks he can. He helped me sound the alarm the night that Governor Dunmore's men stole the gunpowder from the Magazine!"

The captain's eyebrows shot up. "You don't say! That's what your father told me the other day, as we were talking! I must say, I am very much impressed!"

Felicity beamed proudly. "He's been so eager to go fight for our freedom that he can barely contain his enthusiasm-Father is going to allow him to join the army when he turns eighteen, even before he finishes his apprenticeship! But he has promised my father that he will come back and finish out his contract when he's done being a soldier."

"And Ben has found this agreeable?"

"Aye, sir!" she piped.

"And you, too, believe he is good with horses?"

"Oh yes, sir!" she told him gleefully. "He knows all about thoroughbreds, their eyes and teeth, he can ride bareback very well, and harness a horse faster than you can say 'Let's have another round of that honey-mead,' and when we go riding together on my horse, Penny, he-"

"You ride a horse together?" Lee interrupted unintentionally, grinning even wider at the girl's enthusiasm.

Felicity reddened immediately. She had forgotten her manners, carrying on like that. The captain must be thinking that she was a bubble-brain! But the more she spoke with Ben on her mind and in her heart, the more excited she was getting. She wanted to make the best impression of Ben as possible. She fidgeted absently.

"Well, yes, we do," she told him much more gently.

Lee rubbed the back of his neck. "That makes sense. I'd love to go riding with _my own _girl someday!"

"And I can tell you, sir, there's no dedicated a patriot than our Ben! He wants to fight and prove himself, and you would be lucky to have him!"

Lee grinned again. "Would I?" There was a playful look in his eyes again. "Well, Miss Merriman, we shall see..."

They exchanged smiles. Mr. Merriman and Ben emerged from the back room, with Ben looking eager and Felicity's father extending his hand immediately to shake the captain's. Ben looked at Felicity and she nodded encouragingly, which in turn gave him a more relaxed, positive feeling. When Mr. Merriman introduced him, he was able to shake the captain's hand with confidence and a firm grip.

"It's an honor to meet you, sir," Ben said avidly.

"Thank you, Mr. Davidson." Lee straightened sharply and gave Ben the inspectful eye. "I hear you're quite the horse enthusiast, as am I. _And _quite eager for action, as am I."

"Yes sir!"

"Well, then! With your master's approval, I'd like for you to accompany me out to the fields...tell me about yourself, talk horses...What say you, Davidson?"

"I'd like that very much, sir!" Ben's heart was up in his throat in excitement. He looked at Mr. Merriman, who pleasantly nodded his approval.

"Excellent." To Mr. Merriman he said, "Good to see you again, Edward-I appreciate everything you're doing for the commissary. We do need all the supplies we can get." Then he turned, at last, to Felicity, who'd been watching and listening with great fascination. "And it was a real pleasure meeting _you_, Miss Merriman." He took her hand and kissed the back of it in such a gentlemanly manner that Felicity's heart skipped a beat. "Do save a smile for me, won't you?"

"Oh, yes, Captain!" she squeaked despite herself.

Lee turned toward the door. "I'll have him back to you by this evening, Edward."

"Thank you, Harry." Mr. Merriman smiled. He and Felicity watched Ben follow the captain out of the store, then he turned to his eldest daughter and asked mildly, "Well, now, Lissie, what have you to say about our friend Captain Harry Lee?"

"Oh, I like him, I do!" She came out from behind the counter to stand beside her father. "He truly likes horses, doesn't he?"

"Aye, that he does, Lissie. Did you know that the Captain's family was good friends with George Washington and his wife?"

Felicity was dazzled and sounded so. "How _interesting_, Father! He and Ben will have so much to talk about! They will get on well, won't they?"

"Aye," Mr. Merriman agreed, draping an arm about her small shoulders.

Felicity was quiet a moment, absorbed in thought, and then she asked slowly, "Father...will Captain Lee keep Ben?"

"Whatever do you mean, dear?" Mr. Merriman cocked his head curiously.

"Um, well, I know he said he'd return Ben to us this evening, but..." How could she put her concern into words? "If he decides he can use Ben, will he take him _before _Ben turns eighteen?"

Edward Merriman understood right away. "No, Lissie. I specifically told Ben and Captain Lee that I would allow him to go _when he turned eighteen_. Not before. They are both well aware of that."

Felicity sighed in relief. "Then I still have time to make Ben a big fat chocolate cake for his birthday?"

"Yes, honey, you do." Mr. Merriman chuckled and gave her small shoulders a squeeze. "He would like that very, _very _much!"

"Father?"

"Yes, Lissie?"

"Why wasn't Captain Lee wearing a uniform?"

Mr. Merriman smiled at his daughter's simple curiosity. "Because he and his men have not been supplied with any as yet. He says he hopes that will change soon, for he has indeed requested them. He will keep asking until he and his men are properly outfitted and can look like the real troop they are becoming."

"Oh."

At that moment, a customer entered, looked around for help, and Mr. Merriman patted Felicity on the back before he left her side to assist the elderly gent. Left standing there thinking, Felicity wondered what Ben would look like in a uniform. Handsome, certainly! But would it be the fringed hunting attire she was accustomed to seeing most of the local militiamen wearing? Or would it be something sharp and colorful, like the British-only _not _red? Would he be given a weapon-and a horse, for that matter?

She would definately have a lot of questions to ask when Ben came home this evening!

The sun was going down when the Merrimans, sans Ben, gathered in the parlor to relax for the evening. Only Felicity refused to sit, being much too tense with anticipation to sit still and occupy her hands with anything. She kept a slow pace, from the front door to one of the parlor windows and back. Martha Merriman smiled at her daughter's impatience-ordinarily, Felicity would've been made to sit down and do something, for gentlewomen did _not _pace and mumble "what if's", but under the circumstances, they were _all _anxious for Ben's return.

But only Felicity was unable to hide it.

Finally exasperated, Felicity dropped her arms to her sides and groaned in aggravation. "Where _is _he?"

"He will be home any time now, Lissie," Mr. Merriman said from behind his _Virginia Gazette_. "Do not despair."

Nan, who had been trying to get her little rag doll to sit side saddle upon William's wooden elephant, looked up and crinkled her nose. "'Tis improper to fret over a boy. Do sit down."

Felicity rolled her eyes. "But I _can't_! 'Tis evening now, and that's when Captain Lee said Ben would return. I want to know what they've done to him!"

A corner of Mr. Merriman's paper folded down to reveal his amused expression. "They've done _nothing _to him, dearest. 'Tis not like Ben was hauled off to a dungeon in a castle. I thought you liked our Captain Lee."

"Yes," she replied tiredly, softly thumping the toe of a shoe on the wooden floor. "Truly, I do! I'm just..." Just _what_? There was probably a lot for Ben to see and ask questions about. Part of her envied him. She would most certainly make him tell her everything he saw and learned, even if she had to twist his arm up between his shoulder blades and-

"Lissie, why don't you take an apple out to Patriot," Mrs. Merriman suggested kindly, lowering her stitching. "Nervous energy is not good for the body, so mayhaps you could let your favorite foal tickle you into laughing some of it out!"

"I guess." Felicity sighed with submission. There was nothing else to do!

But no sooner did she get the barn door closed behind her when Ben Davidson came striding into the yard...and straight into the Merriman house. _He _was not inside even five minutes before he came sprinting out, straight for the barn, with a chuckling Edward Merriman standing at the windows.

Felicity gasped when he burst into the barn, all afire in his excitement, breathless and flushed. She gaped at him, heedless of Patriot taking her long ponytail into his mouth (a game the young colt liked to play with his beloved mistress, where he'd yank on her hair with his teeth and she would make a funny noise that sounded very much like "OW!"

"Ben?" she asked curiously, stunned by his intensity.

He gulped. "I'm in, Lissie," he told her, chest heaving. "Captain Lee wants me."

A startled cry issued from her mouth. Whether it came from joy or fear, neither one of them could tell, but suddenly Ben was coming at her, arms opening wide, and she found herself with a faceful of his shirt as he crushed her to his chest so hard she could not draw breath. He removed a hand only long enough to pull her ponytail out of Patriot's mouth.

"Thank you, Lissie, thank you," he was murmering as he squeezed her.

"Whumphor?"

Grinning goonishly, he moved her back from his chest so she could get a breath and so he could reply, "For all of the nice things you said about me to the Captain! He told me about all the things you said. He wanted to know about you, and I told him about all the things we've done together, our love for horses, about Penny, and how you rescued me in the woods when I ran away!"

"He was impressed by that?" Felicity rubbed her nose absently (for it's cartillage had been rather smooshed by Ben's embrace!)

"Aye! He was impressed by my being so eager to join the army that I ran away, and then by you convincing me to return and wait. Thank you, Lissie. I love you, thank you." He hugged her hard again.

When it was possible, she said, "Oh Ben, I love you, too! Now do tell me everything."

They sat down on a wooden bench together. "Captain Lee is hand-picking all his men. He wants young, reliable men, eager to fight and fully dedicated..."

"Well!" exclaimed Felicity, slapping her knees. "That's you up one side and down the other!"

Ben _hee_-_heed _capriciously. "Aye! He asked about my history with horses, then when we got to the camp he introduced me to some officers-some who were actually wearing uniforms, Lissie! Then he had me inspect his own horse, and he watched me look at its eyes, teeth and pasterns, all that, and then I had to mount up on another horse and show what I could do riding across the field at a full gallop using one hand to hold the reins and the other to wield a sabre, which one of the lieutenants let me use!"

"Wow," Felicity marvelled breathlessly.

"But the thing is, Felicity, I was so good that I could use both hands to to use weapons while my horse was galloping! The horse was obviously used to action, which was good, and it didn't jump while other men were practice-shooting, which was even better! Oh, there were men practicing manuevers all over the place! Not all of them were from Williamsburg, but most were." Ultimately, he inhaled. "And I am to be one of them!"

Felicity beamed at him. He was absolutely handsome in his reverie.

"They have all been practicing manuevers since June, so I have a great deal to catch up on, but I told the Captain I was confident that I could do it. And I am!" He took her hand in both of his. "It's happening, Lissie. I'm going to be a soldier."

"I'm so very proud of you, Ben. Really I am." _But this is happening all so fast! Too fast! I'm not ready to let you go! _She offered him her best, happiest smile, but deep inside a piece of her was crumbling. The first piece of what by this time next week would be a completely broken heart.

Her Ben would leave to serve under the man whom history would come to call 'Light Horse Harry' Lee.

Mrs. Merriman said she would help Felicity make Ben a chocolate cake for his birthday, which was now only three days away. Felicity stated firmly that she wanted it to be the biggest, tastiest, _chocolate_-_iest _cake that God ever beheld on mortal earth, for Ben loved chocolate. Both Rose and Martha Merriman chuckled in secret, for although they knew Felicity wanted to make something exceptional for Ben and considered that a very dear thing, they also knew that Felicity's cake-baking skills were very underdeveloped.

The day before Ben's birthday, Felicity trudged along beside Elizabeth to their lessons with Ms. Manderly looking quite depressed, and Elizabeth knew why. But Elizabeth _hadn't _said anything to Annabelle about Ben leaving tommorrow. So when Ms. Manderly asked Felicity why she was so glum and Felicity replied, "Because Ben is joining Captain Lee's cavalry tomorrow," Annabelle Cole's jaw nearly hit the floor, much to Elizabeth's amusement.

Ms. Manderly was gravely understanding. "Do tell him, Felicity, that I wish him well."

"Thank you, Ms. Manderly," was Felicity's woeful reply.

Annabelle was bug-eyed. "He's going to do it! He's _really _going to do it!" She reached across the round table they were sitting at with their stitching and grabbed Elizabeth's thin wrist. "What am I going to do?"

Elizabeth gave her gawking older sister a direct, intolerant look, and pulled her wrist away. "_Nothing_, Annabelle. Nothing but mind your own business and work on your stitching like the rest of us. Do shut up."

Felicity smiled.

Annabelle would glare at Felicity as if Ben's leaving was Felicity's fault, but Felicity just ignored her. As the girls prepared to leave, Felicity kindly invited Elizabeth to come enjoy Ben's pre-birthday dinner with the family, and to bring Arthur Pratt with her. Annabelle most certainly did overhear this oral invite, and strode out of Ms. Manderly's house with her pointed nose in the air...and knowing damn well that she too _could've _been invited if she had been a different sort of person. Annabelle Cole had _not _forgotten her personal oath to make Felicity sorry for kissing Ben. Ben Davidson would pay by most likely meeting a gruesome, unfortunate end at the hands of British soldiers-he was, after all, defying their king.

He would be such a sad loss.

But as for Felicity, Annabelle had not decided on her punishment as yet. But there would be plenty of time for that.

That evening, seated at the Merriman table was Mr. and Mrs. Merriman, Nan, William, Elizabeth and Arthur, and Felicity, who sat across from the Man of the Hour himself. Rose and Marcus had also been invited to sit at the Merriman table, which was an abnormality for black house servants, but Ben insisted-he wanted everyone who was important in his life in Williamsburg there at the table with him. Not knowing his own future, he might not even see them again. He was trying not to think about that possibility, but it was always there, hanging around in the back of his mind.

The blonde, joyful Arthur Pratt had quickly become a good friend. He had a natural way of cheering people up, an eagerness to help everyone and be accepted wherever he found himself. Before they had all sat down to dinner, Arthur approached Ben with a small brown paper package and said, "I know we have yet to become better acquainted, but Elizabeth and Felicity tell me that you are among the best of lads, and, well, seeing how you are going to be a soldier...and soldiers are in short supply of, well, soldier-stuff-" ( He had no better term for it!) "-Mama and I wanted you to have these..."

Curiously, Ben had pulled apart the string and paper and grinned when he saw at least five pairs of grey woolen stockings folded nicely inside the paper.

Unsure of how his gift would be recieved by a soldier-to-be, Arthur Pratt added quickly, "'Twill be cold weather soon, and it might perhaps be a harsh winter..."

Arthur's knees nearly buckled when Ben clapped him on the back heartily and said with a broad grin, "Thank you, Arthur! And thank your mother for me, too! These will most _definately _be put to good use this winter!" The two young men shook hands as Elizabeth and Felicity looked on with beaming faces.

The dinner itself consisted of baked potatoes with melted yellow cheese, sliced ham, green beans, fried fish, and rice pudding. Ben enjoyed everything immensely, but was forewarned by Mrs. Merriman to save room for dessert-_lots _of room. Ben looked happily confused, but upon seeing Felicity's mysterious smile, he decided to keep from asking questions. No doubt, she had something special planned, for he knew that sweet sparkle in those green eyes of hers. Whatever she had planned, he would love her for it.

She quietly slipped from the table and followed Rose into the mini-kitchen while Elizabeth preasented Ben with a gift...of five pairs of black woollen stockings! Ben laughed happily as Elizabeth shyly blushed and said, "I didn't know Arthur was going to be giving you stockings, too..."

"That's okay," Ben grinned, his voice assuring. "I will be well insulated!"

"Maybe..." Elizabeth began thoughtfully, "if some of your soldier-friends are in need of warm stockings this winter, you could share with them."

Sentimental emotion lumped in Ben's throat. He nodded agreeingly, giving her a warm smile. "That's kind of you, Elizabeth Cole. Thank you."

Beside her, Arthur's hand slipped under the table cloth and took hold of her's affectionately. "Excellent notion!" he said happily.

Mr. and Mrs. Merriman exchanged an uneasy look, however. Heads turned toward them questioningly. Edward Merriman's mouth twitched as if he didn't quite know whether to smile or frown, and his cheeks were red. Martha sighed submissively...and pulled a small paper package from her lap that had been concealed by the tablecloth.

"Stockings!" William exclaimed gleefully, pointing at his mother with jubilant revelation. "Surprise!"

Ben's eyebrows shot up as he errupted in laughter.

"Perhaps you could do as Elizabeth suggested," Mr. Merriman told Ben as he passed down the package, "and share them with whoever's in need." Mr. Merriman smiled sheepishly. "There are ten pairs."

"Thank you, sir, ma'am!" ben's spirit was soaring. "It means a lot to me-that you all care so much! Of _course _there will be soldiers who will need warm things this winter. I will share these, and tell the men where they came from."

"Ben," Arthur ventured to ask timidly, "if your fellow soldiers find out mine came from England, will they thrash you?"

Ben laughed gently. "No, Arthur. They needn't know. All that matters is that they came from a friend."

Arthur beamed with satisfaction.

"Hey!" Ben looked around the table suddenly. "Where did Felicity get to?"

William was about to call out "cake!" when Nan clamped a hasty hand over his little mouth. As if on cue, both Felicity and Rose appeared from the mini-kitchen carrying together a platter on which sat a magnificent, five-layer chocolate cake.

Ben's eyes grew wide. "Lord God!" he breathed, as the chocolate monstrosity was carefully sat before him in place of his dinner plate.

Felicity sweetly tucked a cloth napkin into his shirt collar as he continued to gawk at the massive cake. "Enjoy!" she said humorously. When he blinked (as he was too stunned for words), Felicity giggled a bit. "Oh, Mother and Rose _did _help some..."

"But it was _your _idea," Ben finished, gazing steadily up at her then. "You know how much I love chocolate." He reached for her hand and she gave it, her heart fluttering madly.

"And you must know how much we love _you_," she told him with equal emotion.

"And how much _we _love chocolate, too!" William near-whined, squirming about in his seat, for he could not see Ben's head for the cake, which he was desperately tempted to plant his face into. "Let's have some!" he wailed.

"Yes, let's do!" agreed Nan, who was eyeing the cake with _un_gentlewomanly ardor.

"Gads!" gulped Arthur. "That _is _quite a specimen! Its-its-"

"Almost frightening!" suggested Elizabeth in gaping shock.

"Its-its-"

"A blessed behemouth!" said Mr. Merriman, wide-eyed as well.

Mrs. Merriman slapped his arm. As the others marvelled on, she told him in a low tone, "Lissie cried that Ben might never have cake again! How could I refuse her? 'Twas _Ben _she was wanting it for!"

"Aye! That girl of ours!" Mr. Merriman grinned and shook his head, no doubt impressed. "She never ceases to amaze me. I guess we should start slicing up that-that-_tree stump _before it takes root!"

Laughs came from all around the table. Felicity handed Ben the large slicing knife and he rose with all eyes upon him. He himself wondered how he was going to go about cutting into it. It smelled so good that, like William, he was tempted to just plunge his face into it and start grazing like a mad cow. But there were ladies present, and therefore he cut quite slowly and carefully, as he had seen it done before (but never on such a grand stacking!). Claps surrounded him as he produced a thick wedged slab that landed in his dessert plate with a solid _thunk_.

Felicity herself cut slabs for everyone else, and Mrs. Merriman didn't even object when William planted his little face into the creamy frosting and then showed everyone his happy, fudgy face. 'Twas Ben's birthday dinner, and formality was suspended. There was to be only joy and laughter in a room full of people who, just for this evening, did not care for the world outside that room.

A person couldn't be proper all the time.

When half the cake was eaten, and stomachs were near to bursting (and Marcus was nodding off, being heavy with cake), Felicity disappeared and returned with _her _small paper-wrapped package, and presented it to Ben as she stood by his chair.

"What's this?" He grinned, his voice full of amusement. "More stockings?"

"Nay, Ben Davidson!" Felicity clasped her hands behind her back. "Open it and see for yourself!"

He did just that. The little package was hard, so it couldn't be stockings after all. When he saw the gift inside, his face grew serious with emotion. Gingerly, he picked up the beautiful new ivory-handled folding knife and black leather case, and stared at them in astonishment.

"Pull the blade out," Felicity instructed pleasantly. "It has engraving on it."

Too stunned and emotional for words, Ben pulled the eight-inch blade from its ivory encasing and turned it toward the candlelights in the center of the table. He gulped, trying to keep the emotion in his voice under control as he read the words engraved into it aloud, "To the wielder goes the victory." And he saw upon the handle the engraving 'To B.D. from F.M.' All he could do was stare in awe.

Felicity cocked her head uncertainly. "Do you like it, Ben?" She smiled a little. "I _did _consider stockings..."

Ben laughed softly along with the others. "It's beautiful, Lissie. It's wonderful."

"It's small enough to hide in your boot, or inside your jacket-there are leather straps on the case, see?" she told him with satisfaction. "You can put it just about anywhere on your person where it will be handy in case-in case-"

Ben understood. He turned his affection filled brown eyes to Felicity, who was biting her lower lip in an effort to remain encouraging. 'Twas not the gift that impressed him most, but its giver. Both the boy and the girl were aware of the meaning behind this gift: she had accepted his leaving. She didn't like it, nay, she didn't want him to go, but in giving this... this weapon, she was giving of herself. A piece of herself to take with him, that would, to some extent, represent her protection of him. Give him a reserve means of survival. He knew all of this and understood.

And _no one _understood Felicity like Ben Davidson.

Without a word, he rose and took her into his firm embrace. He both heard and felt her release a contented sigh. "Thank you, my Lissie," he whispered just above her soft little ear, so only she could hear. "I shall always keep it handy."

She nodded against him in agreement.

When they stepped apart he asked, "How did you get such a magnificent knife?"

Felicity smiled proudly. "Mr. Haverty paid me for the help I gave Brutus, even though Father and I insisted that he must'nt. You know how he is! Then Father asked me what I wanted to do with the money, and, well...I wanted to get you something that might help-you know-bring you home to us." She inhaled quickly.

"Aye, Lissie, I know." Ben's heart swelled.

"And Father helped pay for it, too, so 'tis really from the both of us-"

"But 'twas Felicity's idea," Mr. Merriman interrupted proudly, as he smiled with great affection for his daughter and his apprentice. "I just made a small contribution."

Felicity grinned. "And I have a friend who's father is a jeweler skilled in the art of engravings!"

"_And _etchings!" Arthur reminded merrrily.

Said Elizabeth light heartedly, "And when Felicity told Mr. Pratt it was a gift for a friend going to the war, Mr. Pratt insisted on engraving it for _free_! But Felicity insisted on paying him-you know how _she _is!-so Mr. Pratt accepted _half _price!"

Ben looked at each of them in turn. How could he possibly express the feelings he had for them? What words were there he could say to match how much they all meant to him? "Thank you, all of you," he said softly. "I can't tell you how much I value everyone in this room." His eyes went to Felicity "I have been so lucky to find myself a part of this fine family, with such true friends. A fellow couldn't ask for better. When I first came here I didn't know what to expect or what my future held for me. But now...I know what I want for my life, my future: I want this land we live in to be free for _all _of our futures and I want _all _of you in it!" His eyes held Felicity's in a way that sent her heart knocking around her chest like a blind rabbit in a small cage.

"Hear, hear!" Mr. Merriman called out, rising from his seat. He held up his glass of apple punch and the others followed suit, Felicity and Ben returning to their places so pick up their glasses. "To Benjamin Davidson," Mr. Merriman said, "who, in these past few years has become more than just an apprentice to be proud of, but a lad I consider to be a son in this family."

Ben's eyes filled with tears.

"May God keep you safe, Ben, on your journey as a soldier. May He return you to us alive and successful, so that you may live out your future in a free, independant land as you will fight for. You're a part of us, one of us, and you will forever be. To our Ben!"

"Amen"s echoed around the table, none more loudly than Felicity's, as glasses touched glasses and drinks were swallowed in the toast to so dear a boy, who would take his leave of them tomorrow.

His soulful brown eyes locked with Felicity's loving green ones, and for a young girl of eleven, Ben saw such understanding, such hope. Such lovliness. In all the time he had been with the Merrimans he'd never felt such a belonging. He had never until now felt so appreciated and loved.

The rest of the evening was spent in laughter and the enjoyment of family and friends, with Arthur Pratt providing the bulk of the entertainment with tales of his life back in Surrey, of having been "reared by women."

"Papa worked very hard with silver and metals, and was gone a great deal of time," he told them all. "So I was therefore subjected to the whims and fancy of my Mama and sisters, who were forever commanding _' Arthur, fetch our tea,' 'Arthur, put on this apron so that we may hem it correctly,' 'Arthur put on this wig so that we may see how it fits,' 'Arthur, make us laugh,' _and so on. I learned great respect for women, having been an assistant in the lacings of my sisters' corsets. Oh, they were always whining, _'Arthur, pull harder! Get some strength about you, lad, and pull!'_"

Ben haw-hawed mightily.

Having nearly choked on her bite of cake whilst laughing, Mrs. Merriman cleared her throat and asked, "What of your sisters, Arthur? Will they not be coming to live in Williamsburg, too?"

"Oh nay, Mrs. Merriman," Arthur replied cheerfully, "as they have finally found husbands, and Mama says 'twas a miracle they did, for she was beginning to lose patience with them! We do believe they shall all come a-visiting when this fighting is over. Hillie has married a barrister, Millie a woodworker, and Lillie a ships' captain, and they are very fine fellows. Lillie accompanies her Captain Godfrey on his voyages from time to time."

Mrs. Merriman looked impressed. "Does Lillie not mind a life at sea?"

Arthur's eyes twinkled. "Nay! She claims she loves it very much indeed, especially when she is not vomiting!"

Laughter echoed around the room.

When at last the "good evenings" were exchanged and Arthur and Elizabeth took their leave, when the cake-filled Merrimans decided to turn in, Ben retired to his room in the loft feeling happy and alive. Too excited to sleep. His birthday dinner had been the best ever. He had more woollen stockings than any young man his age had a right to have, and the very special gift from Felicity that couldn't compare to any other gift he'd ever recieved in his life. He laid upon his cot and studied his new knife in the lamplight, turned it over and over, silently marvelled at how fitting the ivory handle was in his grip, and how with a quick, sharp flick of his wrist the shiny new blade snapped out, ready for use.

"To the weilder goes the victory," he mumured aloud. This was a good knife. Good grip. Lightweight and slim, easy to hide in a boot, allrightie.

Felicity Merriman was the best girl a patriot lad could have.

He blew out his lantern's candle, laid the knife and its case on his nightstand, and settled back on his pillow. But he wasn't drowzy. He was excited about reporting to Captain Lee's camp tomorrow. In the darkness, he grinned. _Reporting_. He, Benjamin Robert Davidson, was going to be _reporting _to a _superior officer_. As in _army _officer. And not just army, but _cavalry_. He was going to be a soldier, and therefore _reporting _for duty.

He laid on his left side. He laid on his right. He flopped onto his back and stared at the wooden ceiling, which he really couldn't see because it was so dark. Something was gnawing at him, and he couldn't figure it out. It _wasn't _just his excitement. There was something more behind his restlessness.

Before he knew it he was up on his feet, opening the door to his room. Maybe he'd go down and look at the horses. Aye, he'd do that. Moonlight provided a little more illumination in the lower half of the barn, not that he needed light to find his way down the ladder. Were he blind he could still shimmy up and down it he was so familiar with these surroundings.

He could sense the horses were alert. As soon as he was down the ladder, he turned around...and drew in his breath in surprise. There on the little wooden bench opposite him, beside the saddle racks, sat a teary-eyed Felicity Meriman in her night cap, slippers, and blue robe over her nightdress. It was a very warm night, but she had her arms about herself tightly, as she was quietly crying. She looked up at him expectantly, for she had heard him coming down, and the sight of a single tear, glistening in the pale moonlight, gripped his heart intensely.

"Lissie?" he gulped carefully. "What are you doing out here? It must be around midnight. Are you all right?"

Sniffing miserably, she nodded yes.

But clearly she wasn't-he could tell that. She wiped at her eyes with the back of a hand and sighed, lowered her watery gaze to the floor. Ben stepped forward, and with curious concern, knelt in front of her so that he could be eye-level with her. His hands took hold of hers. "Lissie, what's the matter?"

"I'm sorry, Ben," she said in a near-whisper. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"You didn't. I just had a feeling that I should come down here."

He was still waiting to hear why she was out here, she knew. So she straightened and said with utmost sorrow, "I couldn't sleep. I just...couldn't. Your'e leaving us tomorrow, Ben, and I dread it. I'm sorry. I'll miss you so much. It's your last night out here in your loft and I...just..wanted to be wh-where you were...for awhile. you know."

Aye, he knew. _That _was the something that was making him restless. Felicity's sadness. The most regretable thing about his leaving. And for her his heart was so full of love, adoration..._longing_. A longing that grew and grew so suddenly that it sent forth an idea so sweet and so wonderful that he couldn't help but grin as he rose. Felicity watched quietly as he snatched up a horse-blanket from a shelf, then came back to her and took her hand. She blinked at him wonderingly.

"Come on," he said comfortingly, pulling her up and along. "I have an idea. I hope you'll like it."

She followed him quietly as he led her through the shadows of the barn to where the hay bales were kept. He flicked out the big grey horse blanket upon the loose straw, sat himself down upon it with his back to the hay bales, and beckoned for her to come over. Smiling with the awareness of what he wanted, Felicity did so.

She sat beside him on the blanket, moved close to him as he put his long arms around her and settled back. "There now," he whispered happily. "We can help each other get to sleep."

"Like this?" Felicity looked up at him curiously. Even in the near-darkness she could see the charming twinkle in his dark eyes. "Won't you be uncomfortable?"

"Nay," he replied easily. "'Tis warm tonight, so we won't be cold, and the hay is soft..." He shrugged. "And I have my girl right against me..."

Felicity giggled. "Oh, Ben!"

"Just put your head on my shoulder and go to sleep."

She snuggled against him, laid her head as he instructed, and was quiet a moment. This _was _nice! Exciting, too. Would he really hold her in his arms all night long, just as he was now? How sweet it would be, to wake in the morning with her Ben beside her, to see his brown eyes first thing. She didn't feel shy or awkward, or like they were doing anything wrong. This was _Ben_, the very same Ben who shared her secrets and taught her how to whistle and fish and fly kites, who hugged her and gave her sweet kisses and called her his girl.

Ben, who would leave tomorrow.

She felt a sharp pang of sorrow, and tried to dismiss it by saying, "Isn't this called _bundling_?"

"Mayhaps, for some," Ben said thoughtfully, smiling shyly. "But since we're not officially courting...hmm...I believe I'd call it 'two friends who love each other very much helping one another go to sleep because one of them will be leaving for the war tomorrow.' "

Felicity grinned. "That is a rather lengthy title!"

"Aye," Ben laughed gently. "But it's true."

"I agree." She sighed contentedly, much to Ben's delight, for he was quite content himself sitting there with his girl in his arms. There was such trust in her voice, such peace in her little body as she rested against his own skinny frame. Oh, he would never _dream _of violating that trust for anything in the world! He did often wonder about the intimate goings on between man and woman, as was the norm for someone his age, but he was aware of Felicity's innocent age of eleven, and he could fully confess to being a most naive eighteen, and therefore his curiosities would never get the better of him.

He had no idea how long he'd be gone. Hell, he had no idea if he would even return _alive_. This moment, this closeness with his Felicity was so precious. He was aware that they would both be different people after the war, which he prayed would not continue for long, but there would indeed be change. His future was a blank. He knew what he wanted but feared it would never happen. He stood a good chance of loosing Felicity to a faceless suitor, for she would definately have many a young man calling on her, like Walter Wheaton. And then there was the idiot Forsythe! Mr. Merriman would have his hands absolutely full!

It didn't take long for Felicity to go to sleep; he could feel her slackened, gentle weight upon his chest, hear her slowed breathing, and it made him smile. How could he risk loosing this wondeful girl to another fellow? He would be gone for who knew how long, with the possibility of getting killed or getting a pox, and Felicity would grow into the Ravishing Rose of Williamsburg, fall in love with a lad who'd been too smart to run of to war and get the bunk shot out of him, and be a young married woman _if _he returned! Damn and blast!

_Please, Lissie, do not love another! Don't let Walter steal your heart away from me! I WILL come back to you, so help me God I will. I will return to you, and then we will..._

What? They would what?

He pressed his cheek against her forehead. His arms held her tightly. Eventually, Ben Davidson did slip into sleep, as he thought about his life here with Felicity and her family. The time he offered to pull her loose tooth as he was escorting her to Ms. Manderly's house for lessons. Catching her with his best Sunday breeches (she did look _so _cute in them!), watching her wrestle with weeds in her little flower garden with a furrowed brow and a crinkled mouth. Seeing her after having been gone awhile when he'd run away. She'd made his heart race each and every time, and he knew it was love. What started out as a strong friendship had quickly turned into young love.

Could their young love survive a separation?

Mr. Merriman had said that they were not obligated to one another. He'd said that because Felicity was just eleven, and it implied that Ben might feel differently-that they _both _might feel differently-when he returned. But Ben Davidson _wanted _to be obligated!

Did Felicity?

_She's like the wind through my tree  
She rides the night next to me  
She leads me through moonlight, only to burn me with the sun  
She's taken my heart, but she doesn't know what she's done_

Feel her breath in my face, her body close to me  
Can't look in her eyes, she's out of my league  
Just a fool to believe I have anything she needs  
She's like the wind

I look in the mirror, and all I see  
Is a young old man, with only a dream  
Am I just fooling myself, that she''ll stop the pain  
Living without her, I'd go insane

She's like the wind

-excerpts from 'She's Like The Wind' by Patrick Swayze__

CHAPTER 16 FINISHED!_  
_Author's note: I do not own any song lyrics, nor any American Girl characters. Lyrics are used only for melodramatic purposes, for the author is very melodramatic.


	17. Chapter 17 Ben turns 18

_**Felicity: An American Girl Romance, Part 1, CH. 17:Ben Turns 18**_

Ben Davidson woke to the sound of the birds, wrens and robbins, as the sun was just coming up in a cloudless sky. He heard the muffled sound of hooves on straw as the horses shifted slowly in their stalls. Overhead he heard the soft rustling of the barn owl he himself had named Feathers, settling into her nest in the rafters. With his eyes still closed, he breathed deep, noting the smells of fresh hay and wood, and the lavender scent of Felicity's hair.

Felicity!

They weren't sitting up anymore. He blinked rapidly, forcing his eyes to open and focus. He saw they were both laying down on their right sides. Felicity's back was against him, all nice and cozy, and his arms were about her quite snugly. She was sleeping ever so peacefully, with one arm extended out on the blanket, and the other resting upon one of his own.

He grinned uncontrollably. Now _this _was the way to start a day!

And today he was eighteen! Today he would report to Captain Harry Lee at noon and begin training with the other men. A thrill of excitement coursed through him. Looking down at Felicity's angellic pixie-face, serene in her sleep, Ben hoped she could be excited for him, too. He hated to wake her. This was so nice, so special, he hated for it to have to end, but the day was dawning, and it was perhaps best that they rise before someone came out here and found them like this.

He slowly pulled his arm out from under hers and affectionately brushed stray strands of hair back from her face. His movements, though tender, must have woke her, or she had just sensed he was awake and alert, for her nose twitched (much to Ben's adoring amusement) and she yawned.

"Ben?" she asked sleepily, even before her eyes opened.

"Hello there, pretty Lissie."

She blinked, squinted...then raised up in a sitting position so fast it made Ben chuckle. She had stayed out here all night long! With Ben. On a blanket, all night long! She looked at Ben, who sat up slowly, brushing his loose hair back as he yawned. They were both still in their nightclothes. The only article of clothing that had come off of either one of them was Felicity's nightcap.

She grinned suddenly. Of _course _nothing naughty had happened! They had indeed only helped each other go to sleep. As if possible, she loved Ben even more.

"Happy birthday," she told him with a smile.

"Thank you!" He got to his feet and offered her his hand.

Once on her feet, she smoothed out her shift and robe. Ben handed her the nightcap then began folding up the blanket. Felicity watched him for a moment then said, "I shall fix you breakfast, if you like."

He grinned at her shyly. "You don't have to do that, Lissie. I was considering trying to down some more of that chocolate cake!"

"For breakfast?"

"Aye!" He put the blanket up and came back to her, started picking out the few bits of straw in her hair absently. "Don't know when I'll have cake again. And it is a _very _good cake..."

She studied him thoughtfully. "Do you think you will be leaving Williamsburg today?"

"No." Ben, too, looked thoughtful. "Captain Lee is waiting for orders, but even he doesn't think they will come through anytime soon."

Felicity was immediately relieved, and it showed all over her pixie-face. "Then, maybe...I could...you know, come by and watch you train with the other men?"

"Sure!" Ben replied, feeling immensely flattered and proud. "But I won't be able to come over and talk to you, though. I'll be very busy."

"I know."

He put a hand on her shoulder. "However, it'll make me feel good to look over and see you from time to time. And who knows, maybe I _will _get to come over to you!"

She nodded, moved into his arms as they hugged. Ben did indeed enjoy having her willowy form squeezed close to him like that. It was SO addictive, this physical closeness! No tension in either of their bodies, no sense of impropriety, no hesitation. 'Twas awfully hard to release her, but he had to. _She _needed to get inside and get dressed!

"See you at breakfast, pretty Lissie," he told her happily, feeling his spirits soar as she flashed him her rambunctious grin and took off. Aye, he was a lucky lad to have so devoted a girl, so uniquely pretty...so special.

_Lord_, he thought deliriously, _I can't lose her to another! She's _My _girl! My Lissie. Please God, let it always be so!_

Close to noon, Felicity and her father accompanied Ben to the training fields outside of Williamsburg to report to Captain Lee. Felicity had been by these fields before, riding Penny, Old Bess or Big Brutus, but she'd always been preoccupied with her dreams of riding winged Pegasus rather than stopping to observe the soldiers. Now she intended to observe everything and find out what it all meant for Ben!

There were men everywhere, perhaps even hundreds! The place seemed incredibly organized for there to be so many men. Every man had something to do, whether it was fetching pails of water from the nearby creek, cleaning camp cooking utensils, grooming horses, melting down metal for making musket balls, or mending tent canvases, cleaning rifles or telling other men what to do. Many men wore the fringed hunting shirts and leggings that Felicity was used to seeing, and many more wore simple, everyday clothes from home, as there were yet no official uniforms for them. Everywhere, men were yelling, talking, calling to one another, and every now and then there was the loud POP of a musket going off as someone practiced their targeting.

No one seemed to notice the three of them at first, as they walked into the camp. Why should they? wondered Felicity. There's so much to do! Eventually, however, there were a few nods and smiles cast in her direction, one or two "Good day, Miss!" from some young men they passed around camp fires. Felicity blushed shyly and smiled cordially at each one.

The smells of horses, dust, leather, and hot biscuits filled her nostrils, and they closer they got to a large white tent, the stronger the smell of coffee got. _This must be Captain Lee's tent! _she assumed. She was still looking all around, trying to take in as much as she could. Men pretend-fighting with their sabers, men on horseback firing flintlock pistols. Loading. Reloading. Felicity was quite dazzled.  
A now familiar figure suddenly emerged from the large white tent whilst drinking coffee from a silver cup. Captain Lee! He wore that billowy white shirt under a dark brown waistcoat with handsome gold buttons and gold embroidery on the pocket flaps, dark brown breeches, and tall polished black boots. His blond hair was neat and powdered, tied back with a brown ribbon. He was an attractive young man, all right. He grinned widely when he saw the three of them approaching.

"Good day, Harry!" Mr. Merriman said pleasantly.

"Good day yourself, Edward!" He and Mr. Merriman shook hands. Then he looked at Felicity. "Miss Merriman, 'tis a tremendous pleasure to see you again." He bowed slightly.

"Thank you, sir!" She curtsied quickly.

"And Ben," Lee said, shaking hands with the nervous apprentice. "Right on schedule. I do find promptness an important quality when selecting my men. Are you ready?"

"Yessir!" Ben straightened, all business.

"Harry," Mr. Merriman said, glancing at Ben, "might I speak with you a moment?"

"Sure. What's on your mind, Merriman?"

As her father and Captain Lee stepped to the side, Felicity pulled Ben closer to her. "Am I supposed to tell you goodbye now?" Her voice was full of worry. "Will I see you again? Will I even get to _speak _to you again?" Her green eyes were intense, boring into Ben's soft brown ones, demanding answers before she lapsed into complete fear.

"Of course you will, Lissie." He put comforting hands on her small shoulders and tried to look confident. "The men don't practice _constantly_-I mean, sure there is a lot of things to do here, but they do get to come into town off and on..."

Felicity frowned. "So you will be more like a _visitor _than a resident." _Phooey! _He was giving her that 'you knew this time was coming' look as kindly as he could, so she _had _to soften up. "Oh, I know, I know. I understand. I've accepted it. But I don't like it, that's all."

"I know, Lissie." He smiled a little, knowing that she loved him. Then he stepped close and quickly, gently, kissed her frowning mouth. "We will not be saying goodbye for a while yet."

"Good." She hugged him as hard as she could. He was still so skinny! How was he going to gain weight on soldier-food when he hardly ever gained weight with what he ate at their supper-table? His arms were long and strong, but how would he fare with fighting? She sighed helplessly against his chest. He was such a comforting presence, such a reliable source of reassurance now that it would be _agony _not to have this skinny frame to hold to anymore.

She would miss his hugs terribly.

"I'll see you again soon, I promise," he told her softly. "And you can come and watch me train anytime, if you like."

"I like!" She turned her sweet, pixie-face up to gaze at him. "I shall be nearby whenever I can." And she leaned up to kiss his bottom lip. He reddened, feeling intensely manly and strutting, for what Patriot soldier wouldn't when he had such a girl as this?

"Felicity, we must be going, dear." Mr. Merriman came over to them with a smiling Harry Lee beside him. "The Captain has lots to do, and Ben here needs to get situated."

"Yes, Father." With great reluctance, she stepped away from Ben and to her father's side. She and Ben exchanged hopeful smiles.

"Ben, make the Captain proud, as you have done me." They shook hands, he and Ben, which to Felicity just didn't seem quite satisfying for the kind of father-son relationship they had-but they _were _men, she chided herself. And this _was _a military camp! 'Twould have been embarrassing for Ben, perhaps, if anyone but his girl had been hugging upon him!

Ben grinned enthusiastically. "Yes sir. I will."

"Always a pleasure, Harry. Let me know if there's anything I can help with."

Captain Harry Lee nodded amiably, his blue eyes grateful. "Thank you, Edward. Good to see you again, Miss Felicity."

Mr. Merriman gestured openly. "Shall we, my dear?"

Felicity nodded. "See you, Ben."

"See you soon, Lissie." Ben reached down and picked up his napsack.

As she started away with her father, she met Ben's soft brown eyes and looked at him as much as she could before her neck would snap, it seemed, then turned away, feeling oh so uncertain and awkward. As her father's gentle arm rested upon her shoulders, she looked back as much as she could, and saw Captain Lee leading Ben away in the opposite direction as he pointed to a cluster of men with muskets.

She gulped. It _was _really happening. Ben really _was _becoming a soldier. She stared at the ground as she and her father exited the camp. She couldn't even bring herself to look around at the camp activity as they left. It had all suddenly become so strange, so...real.

"Felicity," Mr. Merriman began, looking at her considerately, "you're rather quiet all of a sudden. I would hear your thoughts if you would share them with me..."

"Well," she began hesitantly, "you might think me silly, Father."

Mr. Merriman smiled supportively. "Nay, daughter. The look upon your face suggests whatever you are thinking is anything but silly. We both of us love Ben very much. Your thoughts would not be silly to me."

In that case, she began slowly, "I was thinking that Ben will not be at our table this evening. Nor will he be sleeping in his loft tonight. And he will not be at the store anymore, either. How can I get used to that?"

"I know how you feel, Lissie, for I have thought of these things myself." He sounded quite pensive. "This change in our lives is new, and any change we experience in life always takes some time to accept and adapt to. We will take this cahnge one day at a time, one hour at a time. Ben has adjustments to make as well. He too, will have to accept no longer working at the store, sleeping in a cozy loft, or eating at a table. But this is what he wanted."

Felicity sighed submissively. "I know, Father." She hesitated, suddenly extremely tensed. "Does this mean you will be getting a new apprentice?"

He'd been expecting that question for some time now. He had wondered about it himself as well. "To tell you the truth, Lissie, I don't know. With Ben gone I must either find a new apprentice or discontinue my commissary trips." He paused, watching her expression turn into contemplative, complete with a serious frown. "What do you think?"

"Well...if you weren't going on commissary trips any more, you'd be safe and home here with us, and you'd be able to give a lot of attention to the store. But if you are not going on trips, soldiers will have even less supplies than ever, and there is so much they need!"

Mr. Merriman smiled meagerly. "So you can see my delemma."

"Aye, Father. 'Twould be strange to have an apprentice who wasn't Ben, though! I would feel like we were betraying him, even though we really wouldn't be. Yet if you continue your trips, Marcus and I would really need the help, and..." Here her voice fell into melancholia. "...it would be unacceptable for a young lady my age to be minding a store alone, or with just a black servant who would more than likely be gone on deliveries."

"Quite correct, my wise girl." Mr. Merriman sighed stressfully. "Though we all trust Marcus unquestionably, Lissie, society deems such an arrangement improper, unfortunately. And even if it were acceptable, Marcus would have to make deliveries, and _you'd _be there alone. As much as I trust you to do what's right, honey, 'twould not be safe for you-or if _you _were the one out making deliveries with things you could carry...do you see what I mean?"

"Yes, Father. An apprentice _would _be very helpful." The weight of the matter rested heavily upon her heart. A new apprentice would be so peculiar! So...not right! When Father was gone on a trip, Ben would be with her as Marcus made the deliveries. To manage the store with someone new? How queer that would be! How out-of-place!

"What are you thinking, daughter?"

Felicity tapped her lips with a finger. "This has all happened so fast! I know we've had time to prepare for this day, but the actual _happening _of it! Its making my head spin! Oh, Father, whatever shall you do?"

He took Felicity's hand in his. "I don't know, dear one. But at least you understand my predicament. As does your mother. I do belive I shall talk to her some more about it tonight, seeing how she possesses the same gentle wisdom your grandfather did."

The mention of her grandfather had a sudden soothing effect on her, as if she'd just lapsed into quiet meditation with the knowledge that the matter would solve itself out. Mother did indeed have Grandfather's uncanny insight. Surprisingly, she grinned. "Oh, indeed, Father, she certainly does!"

Mr. Merriman couldn't help but grin, too. "You know something, Miss Lissie? I do believe the world would be a better place if women were allowed a say in how things were done! I cannot recall the many, many times your mother's counsel has saved me from grave mistakes. Too bad not all of the men of the world cannot be, as our friend Arthur puts it, 'reared by women'!"

They laughed, their burdens feeling a little less weighty.

A new thought came to Felicity's mind. "Father, if you don't mind my asking, what were you talking with Captain Lee about?"

"Ahhh, that..." Mr. Merriman had temporarily forgotten. Seeing how uneasy Felicity was (and so quick to point out her observations!), he did believe it would be, perhaps, an uplifting thing for her to know now. "Well, I was telling him that my wife, your mother, was becoming very involved in Williamsburg's circle of patriot women, sewing shirts, stockings, breeches, making supplies by hand, and I asked him if he would allow you to bring supplies to camp, as they were needed. You know, small things."

Felicity gasped with unbound joy.

"And he said yes. You see, Captain Harry is frm and determined in that his men have everything they will need. Weapons, as well. But things like clothing, soap, food...All of that might be harder to come by soon, and Harry wants to make sure his men are not without. Now, what think you?"

"Oh, Father, I would _love _to bring things to camp! Then I could see Ben very often!" Her heart was banging wildly in her ribs. This would be perfect!

"But!" And Mr. Merriman held up a hand most cautious like. "Men in training cannot be disturbed, so if you see that Ben is very busy, you must'nt be trying to get his attention. Does that agree with you, little patriot?"

"It does, it does!" she cried delightedly, skipping a step.

"It would perhaps be wise of me to find someone to escort you here to camp and back..." Mr. Merriman was again thoughtful, but this time Felicity didn't hear. She was too busy being thrilled at the moment, imagining all the nice things she could bring to the soldiers and Ben.

She began thinking of how she could come by and see Ben when she wasn't bringing things to the camp. She thought and thought all through dinner, which kept her from missing Ben eating with them, and she was still thinking as she lay next to the sleeping Nan, who, like her older sister, had a tendency to sleep with her mouth open. Felicity decided she would have to consult with her two co-adventurers, Elizabeth and Arthur.

She turned upon her right side, so that Nan's warm breath wouldn't be pushing into her face. With her eyes squeezed shut she commanded herself determinedly to go to sleep and _not _think about Ben not being out in the barn. _I will NOT be upset. I will NOT cry. I do dislike crying, 'tis messy and aggravating! Ben is not far away. Mayhaps he is sleeping in a small white tent like the other soldiers. But he is NOT far away. He will not be leaving for awhile. He is NOT far away..._And thus she fell fast asleep, having repeated the latter phrase over and over so that she dreamed of her handsome Ben smiling at her warmly and telling her that he was, indeed, not far away.

In the morning, she hauled on her light yellow dress with the pretty pink laces criss-crossing down the stomacher, and bounced downstairs to greet her father with a hug before she joined everyone for breakfast. She scooted her chair up to the table in her ususal place, put her cloth napkin into her lap, as a proper gentlewoman was supposed to do, and looked to her parents and blurted, "So will you be getting a new apprentice?"

No one had even picked up an eating utensil yet. Mr. Merriman's amusement was plain on his face as he looked at his wife (who sighed, for she had suspected her daughter's anticipation) and he commented, "She will not have a moment's peace until we dissolve this matter, my dear. Shall I tell her?"

"Yes, do," Mrs. Merriman said, with a touch of disgruntledness, for 'twas improper to ask questions at the breakfast table first thing in the morning, but she had to smile. Felicity was in love, and therefore _extra _antsy as to the future of Ben and his being gone.

"Another apprentice?" asked Nan, confused. She imagined another Ben Davidson and looked uncertain about whether that would be a fetching idea.

"Well, I should tell everyone, then," Mr. Merriman said, figuring it for the best, "After discussing the matter in depth with your mother last night, I have come to the conclusion that I will _not _be taking in another apprentice."

"Yay!" cried Nan.

"No new 'prentiss!" called out William, waving his biscuit around.

"William, do put your biscuit down," said Mrs. Merriman.

"Whoosh!" said Felicity, greatly relieved.

"_However_," Mr. Merriman continued, "I _will _be hiring someone to assist me at the store. Someone who, surprisingly, has had experience working in a store." He smiled pleasantly.

"Why, who is it, Father?" demanded Felicity.

"None other than our favorite grump, Mr. Haverty!"

Both Felicity and Nan gasped, but 'twas Felicity who said, "Mr. Haverty? He has worked in a store before?"

"Aye," replied Mr. Merriman matter-of-factly. "His father was a shopkeeper in Jamestown. His older brother inherited the business, and Caleb-our Mr. Haverty- married his sweetheart and took over her family's farm. He's got a good head on his shoulders. When he was younger, he ran his father's store with his brother and learned the way of it."

Felicity's immediate thought was Brutus. "But what about Big Brutus and his farm?"

"Well, his wife's brother, Norman, has recently become a widower, and he has come to live with them. Norman will take charge of the farming, for Mr. Haverty and his wife believe the best thing to help Norman deal with his grief is to put it into good, hard labor."

Felicity smiled.

"And Mr. Haverty's back has been giving him grief as well. As for Brutus, as long as you continue to come by to lavish affection upon him, he will not be grieving anyone."

Her smile became a grin. Then she thought about this new arrangement (which took all of ten seconds) and spoke of the next pressing concern that came to mind. "What about your commissary trips, Father?"

"They will be reduced to one or two a month, Lissie. I fear hard times are ahead, and I want to see to the store...and several other things I've a mind to work on. But there are still those who will be making the trips, and I shall donate supplies for them to take."

Felicity breathed a sigh of relief. hard times may be coming, but at least her father would be here in Williamsburg for the most. But then there was Ben. How long would it be before Captain Lee recieved orders to leave? Which brought her back to her _other _fixation: how to see Ben as much as possible, as soon as possible. It hadn't _really _sunk in that he wasn't living with them anymore-as long as he was still in Williamsburg, that kept the reality of his joining the cavalry somewhat subdued.

Captain Lee wouldn't be in need of anything today, probably. And as much as Felicity wanted to go stand close to the camp fields she felt it would be too awkward. She was willing to put up with awkwardness, however, after giving it some thought, so after her lessons with Ms. Manderly she and Elizabeth walked out to the fields and stood by a clump of bushes nearly as big as they were, and looked for Ben.

"There are so many men!" remarked Elizabeth, her blue eyes wide with fascination as she beheld the marching, riding, and constant yelling. "There must be hundreds! How shall we ever find Ben?"

"I don't know," Felicity murmured dismally, her own eyes flicking about, searching for a tall, skinny lad with a brown ponytail. Unfortunately, they were not close enough to distinguish faces, barely close enough to tell young lad from older man. Perhaps if Ben was looking around for her he would see her yellow dress and Elizabeth's lavender one, and wave at them. Then she would keep her eyes on him! But she scolded herself-he was very likely too busy learning soldier-stuff to look around for her. And it _was _just the day after Ben had arrived!

She couldn't even tell which man was Captain Lee! Her heart sank. "I suppose we should get back," she told Elizabeth disappointedly. "There's just no way we can tell who's who from this distance."  
"I'm sorry, Lissie. Perhaps if we were closer..."

Felicity sighed. "There are some trees over there, but we might distract the officers so much they tell us to leave. I was looking for Captain Harry's white tent, but there are at least _five _white tents, and I can't tell which one is his!"

Elizabeth put a consoling hand on Lissie's arm. "We'll come back another time and try again, okay? Let us not despair!"

"Truly," agreed Felicity. So they left, and Felicity firmly resolved to see Ben the next time.

A few days later, sitting in the parlor of the Pratt house and store, Felicity, Elizabeth, and Arthur drank homemade dandelion tea and discussed everything from England to France. Elizabeth heaved a great sigh at the topic of France and said, "Ms. Manderly will soon begin our lessons in French. I'd rather she wouldn't! I have no plans to go to France."

Felicity grinned at her friend's dismay.

Arthur looked curious. "Do you dislike France, Miss Elizabeth?" They sat upon a two-cushioned sofa in front of a dainty table, on the other side of which sat Felicity, upon a nice red-cushioned chair and faced her two friends and fancied them to be an old married couple. She could hardly keep from giggling.

"I cannot say that I like _or _dislike France," replied Elizabeth with a small shrug. "I've never been there. But the French tongue sounds so-so-"

"Difficult?" asked Felicity.

"Hoity-toity?" asked Arthur.

"Well, both, I suppose," she told them. "But 'tis strange, don't you think, that although England and France do not get on well, we learn to speak French, demand French food, and wear French fashions!"

Felicity nodded. "Just because French and English governments do not get along doesn't mean regular people cannot."

Arthur beamed. "I'm quite proud to be the most irregular-regular person I know! But strange things happen to me all the time, though. Did you know the other day Papa's goat Fernando butted me in the rear whilst I was bent over removing a rock from my shoe? I fell headlong into the prickly bushes out back! Oh, law, it hurt something awful!"

Elizabeth was laughing uncontrollably (much to Arthur's delight), and Felicity managed to retain enough control to ask, "Which hurt-being butted by Fernando or falling into the prickly bushes?"

Arthur turned red. "Both!" said he, with a shy smile. "But I am quite used to Fernando hating me-I am the one who has to chase him down every time he gets loose. The prickly bushes, however, are the devil's own creation! Why, there cannot be a more fiendish growth of nature as devised by man than Satan's own representative in the earth-bound form as the prickly bush!"

Elizabeth and Felicity hee-heed and haw-hawed so hard their faces were crimson. Arthur pointed to his own face and said, "As you can see, my otherwise sensitive but manly Christian cheek is scratched quite pink!" and indeed it was. "If ever a man wanted to keep his home safe from intruders, unsightlys, and various incarnations of evil, all he need do is put the devil's own device about his house-lot, and lo! All shall fall prey to the prickly bush!"

Felicity wiped the laughter-tears from her lashes with her fingers. "My grandfather kept prickly bushes around the entrance to his plantation. They are still there. I once watched one of his hounds chase a little rabbit into them, and the poor dog had to run away with his nose full of prickles."

"Ah," marvelled Arthur. "So the rabbit remained unharmed?"

"Aye! The little fellow stayed there for quite some time!"

Arthur nodded with botanical understanding. "Laughing his whiskers off at the hound, no doubt!"

Elizabeth thought a moment, then said "If only the shores of the American colonies were lined with prickly bushes, then maybe soldiers from England would be less inclined to come fight. They would have to return to King George and say, 'Alas, sire! We cannot do battle with the colonists, for their shores are lined with prickly bushes, and all who try to pass through them are horribly gashed and have prickles filling their bums!"

Tickled senseless, the trio cackled wickedly, but mostly because Elizabeth said the word 'bum'. Not exactly gentlewomanly vocabulary, but among the three of them nothing was off limits. And Felicity delighted in her friend's lively English accent that seemed to make ordinary words sound much more fun. And 'bum' _was _a funny word, as Felicity had always thought.

As she ruminated over soldiers and prickly bushes (and bums), her green eyes suddenly went wide and she gasped so sharply that both Elizabeth and Arthur jumped where they sat. "Elizabeth!" Felicity cried excitedly. "You have just given me the most _scathingly _brilliant idea!"

"I-I have?" inquired Elizabeth in alarm, with a hand having flown to her heart in fright.

"Yes!" And Felicity jumped from her chair, came trotting over to the sofa, plopped down on the other side of Arthur and beckoned for the two of them to lean in close. "I believe I know of a way to get close enough to see Ben!"

"Pray tell!" urged Elizabeth.

"Yes, do!" pressed Arthur.

Felicity grinned impishly, and began to spill her idea. Elizabeth looked wowed and impressed while Arthur looked amazed and intrigued. Both he and Elizabeth begged to be a part of it, this plan so bizarre that the three of them concluded that not even the best of spies, British or Patriot, could've concieved such an idea of daring and geniousness.

So it was agreed they would meet at the back of Arthur's father's workhouse, which was behind the main house, tomorrow afternoon to carrry out this plan so fabulous. What none of them realized was that it was also so outrageously ridiculous that no spy, British or Patriot, would be silly enough to dare attempt it!

CHAPTER 17 FINISHED!


	18. Chapter 18 The Three Bushes

_**Felicity: An American Girl Romance, Part 1, CH 18: The Three Bushes**_

"That area over there is where Father, Ben and I entered the camp the other day," whispered Felicity to Elizabeth and Arthur from where she was concealed within a fluffy green bush just outside the fields where Captain Lee had his men. "Therefore, the first white tent we came upon was the Captain's!"

"Sound reasoning," commented Arthur, also concealed from view within a bush.

Asked Elizabeth, concealed within a bush as well, "Are we to make for the first white tent we see?"

"Nay!" replied Felicity to her cohorts. "We shall stay alongside camp, very near these woods here, but we can get close to those piney trees over there, where that cluster of men is marching. See them? They are marching not far from what I believe is Captain Lee's tent. My instincts tell me that Ben is in that area."

"You mean your _Ben_-stincts!" Arthur said jovially, and Elizabeth cackled from within her bush.

Felicity giggled, then cleared her throat, for it was time to get down to business. Or _Bens_-ness, she joked to herself. "Okay, company! Ready?"

"Ready, Madame Sergeant-Leader!" whispered Arthur Pratt.

"Ready, Commander Felicity!" whispered Elizabeth Cole.

"Champion! Then let's move out! I mean, follow me."

As it was, Felicity was spot-on about guessing which tent belonged to Captain Lee, for the man himself was standing hands clasped behind his back, as he observed two young men practice-boxing. An older man with a flintlock pistol strapped to one of his upper thighs circled the two sparring duo, demonstrating how best they should be aiming their fists, with Lee's approval.

With the captain was another young man, standing on the side of Lee that was closest ot the woods. The humidity of the afternoon was weighing heavily on the young man's shoulders, and he didn't seem to be able to concentrate on the fighting very well. He removed his tricorn, wiped his forehead with a dingy handkerchief, and plopped his hat back on. But as he did so, something moving caught the corner of his tired eye, and he looked. Slowly, his mouth came open. Hastily, he withdrew his hankie from his vest pocket again, wiped over his eyes, and stared again to make sure he had indeed seen correctly.

What he saw was a roundish, fluffy green leafy bush with two brown shoes at its bottom go trotting away from the woods a few feet then stop.

"Sir," he began hesitantly, keeping his eyes on the bush for fear he might be hallucinating from the heat, "Sir, I believe you should see this..." And he spoke low, so that he would not call attention to himself in case he _was _having a hallucination.

As it was, only his Captain heard him. Lee turned to the young man, who was but a year younger than he, and said, "What's the matter, Lieutenant?"

"Thre is a _bush _over there, sir..." He spoke out of the corner of his mouth, lest he be overheard by those who would laugh their arses off to hear what he was saying.

Lee cocked an eyebrow. "A bush? Why yes, Lieutenant, they are dotted about all over the place. What of them?"

"It moved. That one over there, sir." The young man jerked his head to his right. "It has feet, sir."

"It has _what_?" Lee looked around in confusion, his blue eyes uncertain.

"_Feet_, sir. The bush moved. Over there. Just over my shoulder."

The captain was about to question his lieutenant as to whether he'd been in the sun too long, when movement over the young man's shoulder made Harry Lee's blue eyes fix and stare, for he saw the bush in question rise up off the ground, revealing two brown-shoed feet, and go trotting about ten feet, stop, and lower to the ground again. A moment later, an arm shot out, its hand beckoning frantically. Lee then watched, dumbfounded, as two other bushes emerged from the trees and made towards Bush Number One, both of them also showing rapidly scampering feet. Bush Number One's arm waved quickly in a downward motion and Bushes Two and Three immediately halted and sat. A mobcapped red head poked itself out of the top of Bush One, looked around, then dropped back down into the foliage.

Lee grinned.

Relieved that he had not gone out of his head from heat and humidity, the bufuddled lieutenant whispered, "Do you believe them to be spies for the British, sir?"

"Nay, Lieutenant!" Lee had begun to laugh quite good-naturedly. "If those 'bushes' are spies, they are the absolute worst there ever was! Oh, no, spies they're not. We all know that spies prefer to disguise as trees, anyway! Excuse me for a bit, Lieutenant." He clapped his confused lieutenant on the shoulder as he passed, laughing merrily on his way over to Bush Number One.

The Felicity-bush rose up, and its feet tippie-toed forward a bit, stopped, then started back, but froze when it heard approaching laughter. It gasped when a familiar voice inquired "Miss Felicity, is that you?"

_Blast_! She was caught! After an awkward moment's silence she sputtered, "Uh, um...aye, sir."

"_Yazoo_!" sneezed the Elizabeth-bush suddenly.

"God above bless you," said the Arthur-bush.

Lee spared Bushes Two and Three a mirthful grin. "And could you give me the identities of your, er, fellow shrubs?"

"They are Elizabeth Cole and Arthur Pratt, sir. They came along to keep me company, sir."

"Ah, I see." He then put on an obviously pretend authorative tone. "I was under the impression that the camp was being spied upon!"

"Oh, no, sir!" Felicity was quick to say. "Spies we're not!"

"I know that _now_." Another comical, awkward moment passed, and Captain Harry rose on his toes, leaned over the top of the bush and tried to see in. "Miss Felicity, will you not come out?"

"Nay, sir, I cannot."

He pretended to be very sad. "Why, Miss Felicity, you wound me! Whyever not?"

"I am embarrassed, sir."

Captain Harry Lee threw his back and laughed from the depths of his guts. After weeks of having nothing to do but train, this was a most welcome, much-needed break in the monotony! The human heads of Bushes Two and Three remained in their concealment as well, more likely out of fear then embarrassment, for they had not yet met him.

"You have," he said at length, breathing deep from his laughter, "I assume, come here in hopes of seeing your Ben?"

"Aye, sir. We-_I_, that is, wanted to know how he fared."

He grinned yet again. "And so you devised a plan to get into camp as far as you could, disguised as greenery, to see for yourself?"

"Aye, sir," Felicity replied glumly. "We didn't want to disturb anything important or make anyone angry-'Twas _my _idea, sir-"

"Which _I _inspired her to think of," interrupted the Elizabeth-bush right quickly.

"And _I _recruited my papa's saw for the removal of the bushes," further added the Arthur-bush. "Please do not thrash us, sir!"

Shaking his head in amused fascination, the Captain put his hands on his hips. "Rest easy, lad-er, Arthur, I take it. No thrashings shall be administered today. 'Tis too hot!" And he laughed again as the three bushes together at once emitted relieved sighs. "I must commend you lot on your bravery and cleverness! Those are two _very _important qualities I value in my men. 'Tis most unfortunate they cannot all have the depths of your courage! Having risked the heat and dampness, the possibility of being discovered and thrashed-" He chuckled as Bush Number Three trembled a bit. "You are all very lucky not to have chosen prickly bushes as your covers!"

Without thinking, Felicity popped her mussed, shrub-tangled red head out and exclaimed, "Indeed! Why, just yesterday we had a most thorough discussion about prickly bushes!"

"Ah-ha! There you are, elf-maiden!" the Captain laughed.

"You are not mad at us-er, me?"

"Nay, Miss Felicity, I cannot be when you have given me a much-needed comic distraction. But I do insist that next time you come in your regular attire, so that you may stand over there by those trees and not be mistaken for a bewitched bush!"

"Aye, sir, I will." She smiled shyly.

"And now I will report to you that your Ben is doing very well. He is, as you had told me, most excellent with a horse, so I shall have him for my horse troop indeed. He is over there." And Captain Lee pointed to where several men were upon horses awaiting their turn to take their mounts through their instructor's paces. Felicity spotted Ben easily: he was wearing his grey work clothes and was not wearing his tricorn, so she saw his brown hair and could see his face, although not in close detail, but he seemed very attentive and serious sitting upon a fine-looking chestnut horse that had a white blaze down its nose.

Felicity's heart lept. Ben looked as handsome as ever, so impressive was he upon the tall chestnut, as if he was born to be a horse-soldier. He sat erect, proud-looking without knowing it. She was most grateful that he was so focused on his instructor that he did not see her in this predicament!

"Shall I call him over for you, Miss Felicity?"

"Oh no, no! Pray, Captain, do not!" And she shrank back down within the leaves of her bush. "I do not want Ben to see me in a bush!"

The Captain smiled sympathetically. "Very well, little elf. Shall I tell him you came by to ask about him?"

"Nay!" Felicity replied with determination. "You are a Captain, not a messenger! You are kind, but very busy!"

"Oh, indeed," Captain Lee said with sarcasm. "Busy doing the same thing I was doing yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that! I tell you, Miss Elf, when an officer who is eager for action is forced to do nothing but exercise and train day after day, awaiting orders that still do not come, life becomes most tedious and dull."

"I'm sorry, sir. Mayhaps your luck will change soon."

"Aye, let us hope. The British will not leave voluntarily, I'm afraid, so eventually, they are going to need us sooner or later." He smiled again. "Are you well in there?"

Felicity's answer was muffled. "As well as can be expected, sir, for one concealed in a bush. We shall take our leave of you now. Good day, sir!"

"Good day, Miss Felicity!" He looked at the other two bushes bearing human feet and said, "Good day, er, Elizabeth Cole and Arthur Pratt. Perhaps we shall meet again when conditions are less..._leafy_."

"Yes, sir!" replied Bushes Two and Three.

Captain Harry watched the Felicity-bush trot over to her fellow bushes and urge them away, back towards the woods. He couldn't help but laugh quite vigorously as the shrubs-with-feet beat a hasty retreat into the cover of thicker trees with much gusto. He had to admire the young girl's tenacity and devotion. 'Twould be nice to have a girl like that of his own someday.

"Sir?" inquired the lieutenant, coming over to stand with him. "Have you resolved the matter?" He was again wiping about his damp forehead with the already damp hankie.

Lee grinned, began strolling back toward camp with the young man. "As a matter of fact I have. Oh, look, there to the west, Lieutenant. It appears we will have rain before the day is out."

"'Twould be a sweet relief, Captain!"

"Aye, that it would, lad."

September was rainy time in Williamsburg, for sure. As Felicity, Elizabeth and Arthur sat in the Merriman parlor watching the downpour that very afternoon, sitting side-by-side-by-side, their cheeks in their hands, elbows upon knee-tops, Felicity mumbled something about her father saying a rainy September will make for a beautiful October.

"Aye," Elizabeth and Arthur mumbled as one.

After a moment Elizabeth said, "We _will _go back, Lissie. Next time we will stand there until Ben sees us!"

"Aye," Felicity mumbled.

Arthur smiled a bit. "But the bush-disguise was a smashing-good idea, ladies. Mayhaps it will come in handy some other time."

"Aye," she and Elizabeth said together.

The trio did indeed return the first day there was no rain, which was three days later. Felicity wore her yellow dress again, Elizabeth her lavender, and Arthur was just Arhur in his brown breeches. They stood at the trees where Captain Lee said they could stand and looked for Ben, who must've sensed that he was being watched, for he did look away from the chestnut horse which he was grooming, and ultimately spotted them. He laid down his brush and started toward them, grinning.

"Oh, look, Lissie, here he comes!" Elizabeth cried happily.

But Felicity could only smile widely and feel her heart flutter.

"Felicity!" he called as he came closer, starting into a fast stride. He removed his tricorn, arms going wide open, and upon reaching his girl, took her into them for a good, hard hug.

She sighed happily as she squeezed him back. It felt _so _good to hug his skinny body once again, inhale his musky, horsey scent and feel his breath on her hair. When she moved back to look at him, she felt like it had been _years _since she'd seen him, though it had only been six days.

How would she ever manage months, possibly a year or two, without seeing him?

"Ben!" she squeaked without meaning to sound that way, but she couldn't contain her joy. "However have you been?"

"I'm well," he breathed with a grin. "It's really good to see you, Lissie." As he rested his hands upon her shoulders he looked at his other friends. "Hello, Elizabeth. Hello, Arthur. I trust you've been keeping Felicity occupied?"

Elizabeth grinned pleasantly. "Actually, 'tis been the other way around!"

"Are you busy?" Felicity asked uncertainly.

"Oh, no, not at the moment." Ben looked back over his shoulder. "I was just brushing Grover, the horse I was assigned to. He's a great animal. Not as fast as Penny or as strong as Brutus, but he doesn't care about muskets going off and men running around. He's used to everything." Breathless, his lively brown eyes flicked over Felicity. "Missed me?"

"You have no idea!"

He grinned joyfully. "How's the store?"

"Lonely without you." Felicity clasped his hands in hers. "Mr. Haverty helps Father now, since he's had store experience, and he's a good organizer, but there is no replacing you. Father has reduced his commissary trips, and he will not be taking on another apprentice...both of which I am very thankful for!"

"Aye," he agreed. "And how is your family?"

"Very well. _No one _misses you as much as _I _do!"

"That's my girl." He pulled her to him again as Arthur and Elizabeth exchanged sentimental smiles.

Felicity gazed up at him. "What all do they make you do?"

"Practice march, practice shoot, practice ride, practice using sabers, practice emergency musters, practice having to pack up, practice fighting while riding..." He shrugged with a grin. "Practice practicing."

"Mercy!" exclaimed Arthur. "All within six days?"

"Aye." The fingers of one of Ben's hands twined absently within Felicity's ponytail (and she smiled sleepily as she hugged him). "I have had to catch up on a lot, and even during the past few days' rain I had to keep going."

Felicity looked up at him in shock. "What? In the rain? Ben, you'll catch the most horrible cold!"

Her concern touched him blissfully. "I'm fine, Lissie. Tired already, but just fine. A soldier has to know how to handle heat and rain, to keep going no matter what the conditions are. No matter how tired he is, day or night."

"You practice at night?" Her mouth came open.

"Aye! If the British can do it, so can we." He looked back over his shoulder again. "Well, I'd better be getting back before someone has to yell at me for being idle. Good to see you, Arthur, Elizabeth." His gaze came back to Felicity's worried eyes. "I'm fine, Lissie, really. Tell everyone hello for me, okay?"

She nodded, and he lowered his face to kiss her pretty pink mouth. Her lavender scent almost made him delirious. Into her little ear he whispered, "See you again, soon...my pretty Lissie."

Against her better judgement she released him, and he began maving away slowly. She inhaled deeply, feeeling at once forlorn and reluctant to leave. 'Twas not fair her Ben to train all day and all night, and even in the rain! This couldn't possibly be good for his health. She bit her bottom lip as she watched him return to the chestnut horse named Grover and pick up brushing where he'd left off. He looked over at them and smiled.

She smiled back, though she felt lonely now.

Elizabeth gently took her arm. "Come with us, Lissie. 'Tis almost time for dinner. You can always come back again."

"Aye." She allowed Elizabeth to pull her away. Arthur offered Elizabeth his arm, and after thinking a moment, offered Felicity his other arm, which she kindly accepted with Elizabeth's urgent nodding.

"There now," Arthur said cheerfully, looking at his left then his right. "I am well-balanced!"

"Thank you both," Felicity said gratefully, "for coming out here with me. I know it means a lot to Ben to have his friends care about him."

"Of course we care," soothed Elizabeth, smiling. "You are our best friend! What concern you concerns us...and that includes your _future husband_!" She and Arthur cackled mischeviously.

"Elizabeth Cole!" Felicity turned as red as her hair. But she _did _grin. "I do not know that I shall marry Ben! None of us know what lies in store for our futures! I shant even think of it until its necessary!"

"Do you not want to think about the future, Lissie?" Elizabeth asked, a little more seriously.

"Nay! It never turns out the way I'd like it to, so I'd rather not think about the future until it gets here."

Arthur looked thoughtful. "How would one know when the future has arrived? Do they sound the bell at Bruton Parish?"

Elizabeth laughed. "No, Arthur, they do not. I think it arrives whenever there's a change of some sort."

"I dislike change," commented Felicity quietly.

"Not all change is bad, Miss Lissie," Arthur said, trying to lift her spirits. "There are all manners of good change, like winter becoming spring, seeds becoming flowers, silver becoming a piece of fine jewelry...a fresh pair of breeches when a lad has a dreadful fright and soils himself..."

"_Arthur_!" Elizabeth snickered.

Felicity smiled as she jabbed Arthur with her elbow. "Oh, I know," she sighed. "I just can't shake the feeling that big changes are coming, and I'm not going to like it one bit... Not just for me, or all of us, but for Williamsburg as well. And Ben _will _be leaving-Captain Lee _will _recieve his orders and he and Ben and _all _the men will go north where the fighting is. 'Tis inevitable. I can feel it!"

"Well, then!" said Arthur, being brave. "'Tis a good thing you have Elizabeth and me to weather these changes with!"

"Aye!" agreed Elizabeth supportively.

"Aye!" agreed Felicity, giving in to her friends' optimism. What she held back from revealing to them was that there had already been a change with Arthur and Elizabeth. They were an 'us'. A 'we'. It was sweet and endearing, certainly, but neither girl or boy were even fourteen yet, and they carried on like they'd been courting forever! She considered bringing up marriage, thought better of it.  
Felicity Merriman's feelings about the approaching future would reveal themselves to be true or false where everyone was concerned soon enough.

Within two days, Arthur and Elizabeth were accompanying Felicity back to the fields, for Captain Lee had wanted a sack of coffee, and Arthur consented to carry it. Having seen the fine physiques of the men-in-training in the camp, Arthur Pratt was determined to 'become strapping' himself, to impress pretty Miss Elizabeth. So he wanted to carry the heavy coffee sack and show her he was as able-bodied and capable of physical labor as any soldier.

As Captain Lee gave the trio payment for the coffee, Felicity looked about for Ben and caught sight of him, holding a pistol as he stood with a group of other young soldiers awaiting their turn at target practice. As her very pretty pink dress was hard to miss amid all the brown colored things in camp, Ben caught sight of her easily and waved slightly. She grinned back.

Despite her growing fear that Captain Lee would recieve the orders to move north he'd been awaiting for so long, the orders had yet to come. The men did not leave during September, nor did they leave in October or November. Felicity did get to see a lot of Ben, for she made small deliveries to the camp, and even stayed an entire day to help the wives in the camp do laundry. There were times when Ben even came into the store and Felicity, no matter what she was doing at the moment, would come flying into his eager arms to hug him and kiss his cheeks. He could never stay long, but she was exuberantly grateful to see him for any amount of time. Sometimes a couple of other young men would accompany him into the store, and Felicity once heard one of them remark to the other, "Just like a little wife, isn't she?"

"Aye," replied the other, grinning at the red-faced Felicity, "a right pretty one at that!"

Ben would grin and say, "Don't pay attention to them, Lissie. They're just jelous that I have the best girl in Williamsburg and they do not." And they would smile at each other, the kind of smile that spoke silently of special feelings between just the two of them. He still called her his pretty Lissie. She called him her soldier-Ben and his ego went through the roof.

Change itself was happening to Felicity Merriman, though she wasn't aware of it. In her mind she called it _determination_, for she was determined that she would have Ben a new shirt sewn for winter...and new warm breeches and God willing, a new winter cloak. When Mrs. Merriman heard Felicity speak of her plans one evening in September, her mother's jaw nearly hit the parlor floor.

"That's right, Mother!" said she, with such determination that even Mr. Merriman lowered his _Virginia Gazette_. "I want to join the Patriot Ladies and sew warm clothes for Ben to have for winter! He must not be without! We _cannot _let him freeze, Mother. Please, I must do this!"

"But Lissie," Nan reminded almost warningly, "you hate sewing."

"Well...I hate that Ben is going to war, but he's still going to go anyway. For Ben I will sew."

"Hmph!" Nan crinkled her mouth. "For a _boy_!"

Mrs. Merriman, having recovered from shock, quickly came to her eldest daughter's defence. "Now, Nan, do not judge Felicity so harshly. 'Tis a meaningful, heartfelt thing she wants to do." to Felicity she said, "Lissie, you do realize Captain Lee may recieve his orders to go north anytime now, and you will not be able to give Ben what you started sewing for him."

"I know, Mother." She sat down on the sofa beside her mother and wore the most adamant look. "What I cannot give him I will send to him."

Mrs. Merriman considered this, then placed a hand upon her daughter's cheek. "Very well, Lissie. Tomorrow morning, bring your sewing basket down with you. I will take you to meet Mrs. Trent, and she can give you cloth she and the ladies made themselves to begin a shirt."

"Oh, thank you, Mother! Thank you so very much!" And she gave her mother the hardest hug that she could. Mrs. Merriman glanced at her husband, who was nodding with happy satisfaction and a smile. Both parents were very well aware of all the unexpected decisions that love could bring a person to.

So it was that Felicity 'I hate sewing Merriman' took to the needle and thread for the sake of someone she loved dearly, and though she cursed mentally each time she pricked herself with the needle, she carried on. Mrs. Trent was a nice, grandmotherly sort who had not just one but two sons gone to Washington's army. The young wives of the sons were skilled with the loom, with weaving and the art of turning cotton into cloth. It absolutely delighted Mrs. Trent to have such a young Patriot girl in their midst. In all, there were ten ladies ranging in age from sixteen to fifty-five, the latter being Mrs. Trent.

When they all sat for sewing, there was a small table in the center of their circle of chairs that a plate of tarts and 'patriot-made tea', which was Mrs. Trent's homemade apple-cinnamon tea sat upon. There was chatter and light-hearted conversations, and all the older ladies took to Felicity right away.

"Now tell us, young Felicity," Mrs. Trent asked her when she sat in the sewing circle for the first time, "is there a certain young lad you've come to sew for?"

Felicity had felt her cheeks grow hot as all eyes were upon her then. She didn't know how to reply to that, for she was not of courting age and she didn't want to hear how cute she was for 'fancying a solider'. She didn't _fancy _Ben. _Fancies _did not make a person ill with worry. She loved him, loved him so much it hurt. Just because she was eleven didn't mean she didn't know boo about love.

But her mother, in her infinately wise ways, handled the situation graciously. "Felicity is very close with my husband's apprentice, Ben," Mrs. Merriman had told them all with a gentle smile and agreeable tone. "He has joined Captain Lee's horse troop, and will perhaps be leaving us at any time now." And with that, the topic of conversation had turned to someone else's husband who had joined the local militia.

But Mrs. Merriman didn't come with Felicity all the time, for there were still many things to do at home. In time, Felicity began to feel more at ease with the ladies, however, and didn't feel so nervous about being asked about Ben. She threw herself into her sewing. Ben had nice long arms, so she concentrated on trying not to get the sleeves of his shirt-to-be too short. A wife of one of Mrs. Trent's sons was very kind in helping her fashion the collar.

September became October, and Novenber blew in with snow flurries. Felicity saw Ben as much as possible, and by November, most of the young men who knew Ben also knew that _Private _Davidson had a very pretty red headed girl that came to watch him and help the camp wives now and then, and that this lovely little ray of sunshine was named Felicity. So there were calls of "Felicity, marry me!" "Come away with me, Felicity!" and "Oh, Felicity, you have broken my heart!" as if she were nearer to their ages. She would turn as red as her own hair and plant her fists upon her hips and give the lads her _most _intolerant glare, much to the further delight of Ben's cohorts.

'Twould be later, though, that Ben would tell her they _did _indeed envy him, that they were _not _just hollering at her to make him mad.

And they _did _make him mad.

"You're _my _girl," he growled, as he gave his chuckling pals the evil eye over his shoulder. "And they damn well better remember that."

And Felicity (making a mental note that Ben had also been practicing his swearing!) emphasized his words by leaning up and kissing him smack on the lips. Several off-duty boys had been watching and pretended to faint from despair.

Also during the first days of November, the plump, pink-cheeked Lady Lucinda Templeton came into the store with her list of monthly requirements, and was engaged in a conversation with Felicity about gowns, balls, and delectable deserts, when Ben came in, and Felicity stopped mid-sentence, gasped, and flew to his arms for a tight hug. 'Twas improper and brazen, but Felicity Merriman and Ben Davidson were extrememly grateful for any opportunity to see each other.

Lady Templeton inhaled when the Merriman girl left her so suddenly, watched with wide, mesmerized eyes as her young friend ran joyfully to the young man who came into the store and hugged her smotheringly. The gushing bright smiles upon their beautiful young faces, the clasping of their eager hands, the unbreakable gazes so fixed upon one another that for a few fleeting seconds the rest of the world ceased to exist, all told Lucinda Templeton that what she was bearing witness to was love in bloom. And nay, she was not offended-surprised, aye, but not offended, for what was the Lady if not a young girl in a body that unfortunately must age.

_Ah, young love! _thought she, with a hand to her heart. _How old was I when my lord-husband Alexander pulled me behind the roses for a kiss? Twelve?_

After a few minutes, Felicity returned, blushing profusely and looking shy. She knew her behavior had not been gentlewomanly, and an appology was therefore in order-but how could she feel sorry when any moment spent with the boy she loved was precious to her? She stood before Lady Templeton, curtsied quickly, and opened her mouth to speak, but the Lady held up a hand.

"No need for explanations, my dear," she protested. "I need them not! That boy, if I am not mistaken, and I seldom ever am, is your beau. Indeed, dearest?"

Felicity smiled helplessly, exhaled with immense relief. "Yes, ma'am."

"And if I am correct, which I most often am, that was your father's dashing apprentice-the Davidson boy, was it not?"

"Yes, ma'am," replied Felicity, feeling goofy with delight. "But he is not an apprentice any more, ma'am. He has joined the horse troop of Captain Harry Lee. That's why he was only able to stay but a moment, just to see me and say hello. And he has yet to get a uniform."

"Captain Harry Lee did you say?"

"Yes, ma'am." And Felicity looked depressed all of a sudden, for she knew in her heart that the Captain and Ben would be called away any day now.

"Why, his men are camped in the fields not far from my estate!" Lady Templeton exclaimed. "They are most certainly a handsome lot, to be sure, Miss Felicity!"

"Yes, ma'am."

The Lady peered at her curiously. "Oh, dear, why so glum?"

"The men will be leaving soon, I am sure of it, ma'am," said Felicity downheartedly. "And with Christmastime coming I will miss Ben terribly. 'Twill not be the same without him."

"My! You truly adore the lad, it would seem!"

"Yes, ma'am." _Adore? _Felicity considered that to be too light of a description, but she felt it not her place to correct her elder, who was studying her closely with a considerable amount of fascination.

The gossipy Mrs. Fitchett, who had been pondering the lace trimmings at the far end of the table of fabric bolts and trying strainingly to overhear the conversation of girl and woman, could no longer remain still and unincluded. She scurried over to Lady Templeton, with whom she got on well in their circle of upper-class ladies, put a lacy gloved hand on the older woman's arm and said, "I heard you speak of Captain Lee, and I just _had _to state that more and more young men are joining with him or the local militia every day! Why, Williamsburg will be absolutely _empty _of eligible young men by the end of the year! And I've been _so _desperately trying to get my neice Beulah married and settled!"

Lady Templeton looked aghast. "You don't say! This will not do, oh no, this will not do by _no _means!"

"There is nothing to be done," Felicity told them with resignation. "Especially when they are awaiting orders to leave at any moment."

Mrs. Fitchett looked at Felicity in alarm. "Then who shall marry my Beulah?"

Felicity's mouth came open, but she knew not what to say to that, for it was well known that Miss Beulah, with her dark eyes, black hair and curved nose tended to remind one of a crow. Felicity had no clue as to who would marry the otherwise likeable Beulah. Mrs. Fitchett was just being desperate.

But before Felicity could say anything at all, Lady Templeton gasped, her eyes going wide, her face brilliant with the dawning of an idea so wonderful and so unexpected that it presented itself in a rapid flurry of words: "The both of you, listen-oh, for corn's sake, Imogene Fitchett, do not look so distraught! I have a _brilliant _plan! Instead of having my Christmas Eve Ball on Christmas Eve, I shall have it _this very month_!"

Mouths open, eyes staring, Felicity and Mrs. Fitchett went blank.

"Oh, do not stare so! Pray, what think you?"

Felicity and Mrs. Fitchett exchanged a startled look, for neither knew what to say or who should speak first. Felicity took the initiative and asked uncertainly, "A Christmas Eve Ball...in _November_?"

"Why, yes!" beamed the Lady. "That way, I can amass all of Williamsburg's finest young gentlemen at my home before they are snatched away by this confounded war, and the sooner the better! Oooo, I _do _love an event!"

"B-But," stammered Mrs. Fitchett, "A Christmas Eve Ball, in November?"

"Oh, bosh, you two! It won't be _called _the Christmas Eve Ball. It will be called something else!"

"What would you propose to call a Christmas Eve Ball in November?" Mrs. Fitchett wanted to know.

"Goodness, Imogene, did you leave your wits home in your root cellar? I shall call it my-my-my-" She drew in her breath. There was a pause as the Lady hunted for something, anything..."Autumn Harvest Ball!"

"Oh, splendid!" cried Mrs. Fitchett.

"That sounds nice," commented Felicity.

Lady Templeton patted Felicity's closest arm so fast it shook from wrist to shoulder."Worry not, my dear, I shall put the Captain and your young Mr. Davidson on my invitation list first and foremost."

Felicity gulped in awe. "Lady Templeton, you would invite patriot soldiers to your ball?" Mrs. Fitchett looked at the Lady with an expression that asked the same question.

"Well of course I would! The patriots are at war with King George, not the Templetons! Honestly, there is no cause for disputes when there is good food to eat, fine music and dancing-"

"And lads," added Mrs. Fitchett.

"And rum," further added Felicity (grinning).

Lady Templeton was in a fine twitter. "Oh yes indeedy, Miss Felicity! We shall have rum and syllabubs and cakes and fruit pies, and fine young lads a-plenty!" Her hands fluttered excitedly. "Oh, the very _notion _of a ball makes me faint with ebullience! I do must get home and start the preparations!"

"Yes, do!" encouraged Mrs. Fitchett.

"And to think I would've become oblivious to the fact that Williamsburg was about to become ladless if not for my little friend here!" the Lady went on, gushing at Felicity. "By the heavens, we shall have the grand ballroom _full _of the young men! Young men in their finest coats and ruffles!"

"Eligible, strapping young men!" agreed Mrs. Fitchett hyperactively.

"Fellows in their silk stockings and tails!" further agreed the Lady.

"Handsome, tall and muscled!"

"Oh my goodness yes, with heads full of lush, thick hair and the tightness of their bree-" Lady Templeton stopped, reddening (as Felicity had errupted in uncontrollable giggles and slapped a hand to her mouth) and cleared her throat. "We shall have much food."

"Capital!" said Mrs. Fitchett, with much glee.

Lady Templeton eyed Felicity with amused suspicion. "And as for _you_, Miss Giggles, consider yourself already invited, but I shall send a fornal invite to your household nontheless. Same for you, Mrs. Fitchett, and for your Miss Beulah."

Mrs. Fitchett made a happy, twittering sound.

"Now I _must _take my leave of you, I have much to do!" She started off, stopped, leaned back with a twisted smile and said, "Do hush that giggling, Miss Merriman! A girl never stops being a girl, you know."

"Yes, ma'am," Felicity grinned, as she watched the Lady bustle out of the store. She couldn't help but wonder what those upper-class ladies _really _talked about when they got together over their tea and scones. _Young fellows, it would seem, _she mused with a smile. _So mayhaps 'tis NOT tea they are drinking!_

That evening at supper, Felicity chattered avidly in her repeating of Lady Templeton's plans, and that they, the Merrimans, were to expect an invitation, along with Captain Harry and Ben. "Oh! And Mrs. Fitchett and her Beulah!"

Mr. Merriman grinned at his pleasantly surprised wife. "How about that, dear? An Autumn Harvest ball in lieu of the Christmas Eve Ball!" He looked at Felicity. "That was very nice of Lady Templeton to invite Captain Lee and Ben. Hopefully Harry can attend, as well as Ben."

Despite an excellent supper of hot ham and beans, Felicity was too excited to eat. There were too many butterflies in her stomach! "Oh, Father, wouldn't it be glorious!"

"Aye, Lissie, it would." He winked happily.

Mrs. Merriman eyed her eldest closely. "Now, Felicity, are you going to be wanting a new gown again?"

"Actually, Mother, as splendid as that would be, I am too excited about seeing Ben to think about a new gown. I have gowns already. I shall add a new stomacher to either my blue one or the brown one. Oh, I don't know! All I really care about is seeing Ben!"

The parents Merriman looked at each other with emotional, knowing looks.

Felicity shrugged. "There will not be time to make a new gown even if I did fancy one. I wonder what Ben will wear?"

Nan turned to her mother. "Will I get to go to the ball, or am I still too young?"

Mrs. Merriman gave Nan a gentle, sympathetic smile. "Aye, sweet one, you are still too young." When Nan looked sour, she added, "But do remember, Nanette Merriman, you shall have your time for parties and balls very soon enough, for you are growing like a weed in a garden, as your grandfather used to say." And then Nan softened, for a mention of Grandfather always melted a stubborn heart.

As Father talked about how gracious Lady Templeton was for inviting Patriot soldiers, it occured to Felicity that she had not seen hide nor hair of the Lady's odd young nephew, Reginald Forsythe, in quite some time. In all the sudden excitement she had forgotten to inquire about him-it would've been the polite thing to do! Even though the boy-lord was very strange and pushy and high-strung, it would've been gentlewomanly of her to ask about the Lady's family. _But! _Felicity reminded herself forgivingly, _I shall probably see the Templetons and the Forsythes at the ball, so I will be polite and ask about everyone's health then and there. I do hope that Reggie doesn't insist that I dance with him again! Ben would not like it, and neither would Father! But will Ben even be able to attend? I don not care if he doesn't want to dance-we will stand together and talk about everyone else, hee hee! And Elizabeth will be there with Arthur...All will be well!_

She convinced herself that it would.

Within two days, Felicity and her parents recieved their invitation card, complete with the sealed wax symbol of the Templeton family crest. Most of the Williamsburg residents who recieved their invitations fussed about such a short notice, for indeed a week wasn't much time to make new gowns and wigs, but fuss as they might, _all _were excited about the prospect of dancing, rum, and, on top of the rest, free grub.

When the Lady's footman delivered Captain Lee's invitation to his camp, the Captain was rather surprised and actually pleased at this, for he knew the Templetons and their kin were Loyalists. But indeed, he had no argument with them, and as he was _still _awaiting orders to move north, what would it hurt? It would probably be a long while before he got to dance with pretty ladies and enjoy fine food again. He was amused to find the name of Benjamin Davidson, as well as those of fifty of his other recently recruited men, on an acompanying card.

_Well! _thought he, with a sloppy grin, _this ought to be rather interesting!_

He stepped outside his captain's tent and cast his gaze about the field stretched out before him in the day's afternoon sun. There was a nip in the air; Captain Lee pulled his coat together and began to button it. Among all of the faces he saw buzzing about in their daily routines, he glimpsed a more familiar one and called out, "Reubens! Come over here!"

The young private jogged over, his cheeks red. He held a musket close to his person, as he had been on his way to target practice. "Sir! Yes sir!"

"Tell me, lad, where is Private Davidson?"

The youngster thought a moment. "Horesback drills, sir."

"Fetch him for me, Reubens."

"Yessir!" The private took off as fast as his lanky kegs would carry him, leaving Captain Lee to ponder how the apprearances of his invited men and his own self would be recieved in the Templeton grand ballroom.

And Captain Harry Lee grinned.

CHAPTER18 FINISHED!  
Author's Note: Okay, all of you Felicity fans probably know that as of this writing, the book 'Lady margaret's Ghost' is out and that it takes place in October of 1776. Obviously Ben still has not turned eighteen in that book, and therefore not gone to the army. It is November 1776 in my fanfic here, and I had made Ben's b-day in September. Makes me wonder when the American Girl-gals are gonna decide what to do with our Ben! 1776 is almost over! The boy has, therfore, got to have a birthday sometime between October and December 31st so's he can turn eighteen!

Also, again, I must state that in my research about Light Horse Harry Lee, I read that he was in Williamsburg until December of 1776. I've _also _read he left with his men earlier than that. Not knowing now which to believe, as there _reeeally _aren't too many details about our dashing Captain (at least, not in _my _findings, anyway!) I'm going to continue with Lee's leaving in December.

Kinda too late to change it now, anyways, huh? Unless anyone reading this is a history buff or an expert on Light Horse Harry, that is, and if you are, kindly contact me and tell me off, set me straight, give me what for and what all!

MORE Author Babble: I have written to Felicity book author Valerie Tripp twice now, and the second time she had answered my question about when Ben's birthday is, and Valerie says that she imagines it would be December the 19th. Valerie ALSO says that she likes to think that the readers have some say so in the characters, and that is nice of her to say, but I like it better when it comes from a ligitimate author's lips! Contrary to popular belief, American Girl/ Pleasant Company DOES give it's authors some control over the characters and situations, but common sense tells you that they have to approve of these situations and all. But it seems like authors are given alot of rein. I will scan and post Valerie's letters sometime on my livejournal page, as wellas some of my Felicity/Ben romantic art Anyway, since I am beyond knee-deep in this lil' epic here, I will not be changing Ben's b-day date to Dec 19th like I wanted to.

BTW: I also asked what she thought Ben's middle name is, and she said 'Isaac'. As for our Felicity, she likes to think it is 'Carter' , because that would be Martha Merriman's maiden name, and by giving it to Felicity it is a way of keeping it in the family! Thanks, Valerie!:D


	19. Chapter 19 The Harvest Ball

_**Felicity: An American Girl Romance, Part 1 CH19: The Harvest Ball**_

It had been days since Felicity had seen Ben again. In fact, she had not seen him since before she and her parents had recieved their invitation to the Templeton Autumn Harvest Ball, though she had strolled out to the fields with Elizabeth and Arthur. He had been nowhere in sight! And then there had been the rain again. Alot of it. And wind. And mud. Good Lord, the mud!

Felicity had no inclination as to whether or not Ben would be attending. She'd never been so nervous as she was now, sitting across from her mother and father in the family carriage, which Father had asked its driver, David, to bring from King's Creek, so that they would arrive in style. Father was in his finiest navy blue coat, vest, and breeches, with a crisp frilled shirt and smart cravat. He wore a long black velvet winter cape that Mother herself had made for him a few years ago for their wedding anniversary, and he looked quite handsome in it.

Mother wore an icy-blue gown with white lace trimmings, her beautiful pearl-drop earrings and pearl necklace that Father had given to her years ago before Felicity was born. She wore a black cloak of velvet as well, and looked ever so lovely with her dark auburn hair done up, with a pinner atop her head. A neck length ringlet of hair hung stylishly down the left side of her neck. In Felicity's mind, there was no lovlier woman in the world.

As for Felicity herself, she had chosen her brown dress, but Mrs. Merriman had gone to the miliner's and picked out a new stomacher with beautiful gold-colored lace and gold embroidered leaves. Gold-colored lace had been added to the sleeves and her petticoats' tiered layers. The gold colors made the silky brown color of her gown look a shiny bronze, and very autumn-appropriate. She wore her coral necklace. Mrs. Merriman had done her hair, and placed a pinner on the top of _her _head as well. Felicity, too, had a long silky ringlet of hair laying against her neck. She felt older and more confident, but all she could think of was seeing Ben, and her nerves were rattling harder than the wheels of their carriage!

She pulled her red winter cloak close around her and thought. _'Tis only BEN! Ben, that knows you better than anyone in the world! You slept the night away with him on a blanket in the barn. He has kissed you and you have kissed him. Why, now, should you be so nervous?_

_Because it IS Ben! _she answered herself, with a thrill. _Things are changing. Ben is changing because he is a soldier now. I am changing because I am getting older. The things Ben and I will experience in the times coming will change us even more._

She didn't know whether to be happy or afraid of that fact.

"Ah, here we are!" said Mr. Merriman, feeling quite festive. He gave his wife's hand a squeeze.

Felicity looked out of the carriage windows at the familiar wrought-iron gates, open and inviting. Torches and lanterns cast bustling shadows of couples and groups emerging from carriages and being assisted from chairs, chariots and chaises. The crisp night air was full of sounds: laughter, constant chatter, the clip-clop of horses hooves on the cobble-stone driveway leading up to the manor's entrance doors. Music could be distinctly heard coming from the three-story grey stone manor. Felicity drew in her breath sharply.

"You look beautiful, Lissie," Mrs. Merriman told her daughter proudly. "But do remember not to fidget."

"Thank you, Mother," Felicity said, just above a whisper. Her nervousness was mounting, her stomach was knotting and she was quite convinced that the butterflies that had been living in her guts had now become full-on _bats_! As their carriage came closer to the entrance, as they were waiting their turn to pull up, Felicity's eyes tried to pick out every male being's face and identify her Ben.

Mr. Merriman noticed her slight squirm, the way she stretched her neck this way and that, and couldn't help but smile as he watched her eyes flick around in the glow of the nearby torches. "_Lissie_," he said with a chuckle, "if he can, he will be here."

And Mrs. Merriman added mindfully. "A lady does not appear over-eager...even if she really is."

She flashed her mother a quick grin.

When their carriage pulled up to the white wigged, sharply dressed footmen, Father went out first, then turned to assist Felicity, and at last her mother. He gave them both an arm, and between them, escorted them up the many steps of Templeton Manor. Felicity was hardly aware breathing in the chilly air and exhaling, seeing her breath as she did so. She did not feel the slightest bit cold.

They stopped at the very entrance, where Mr. Merriman produced from within his inner coat pocket their invitation, and handed it to the white-wigged butler, who smiled and nodded them in. Another butler took his coat and a maid servant took the ladies' cloaks. Yet another elaborately dressed butler announced their arrival in a loud, clear voice. As the warmth of the grand entryway washed over them, some heads turned to watch the new arrivals and those who came in after them. It seemed like everyone was looking for someone! And indeed there were many people; young, old, in-between. Some of the women wore high, white-powdered wigs, some did not. There were gorgeous gowns in pastel colors, muted reds, and seasonal ambers.

It was apparent that every room on the bottom floor of Templeton Manor was full of people. Every sconce lining the elaborately white-paneled walls was lit, every candle in the glass and brass chandeliers, the fireplaces radiating heat and light. Felicity was anxious to go exploring every room and look for Ben. Would he be looking for _her_?

"Felicity!" chirped a happy, familiar voice.

Felicity turned right around and saw Elizabeth on the arm of Arthur Pratt, coming towards her with a bright face and energetic smile. Elizabeth wore a gown of satiny dark green with white lace trimmings, a pinner with a tiny dark green bow on it, and a green satin choker. Arthur, too, wore dark green. They looked a most handsome couple, and Felicity told them so.

"Elizabeth! Arthur! You both look ever so fine!"

"Why, thank you, dear Felicity!" said Arthur, bowing graciously. "I did insist upon Elizabeth notifying me as to the scheme of her colors, so that I may dress to match!'

Beaming happily, Felicity clasped a hand of the both of her friends. "In my opinion, you two already _are _a perfect match!"

"Oh Lissie!" gushed Elizabeth shyly, grinning loonishly with joy. "And you yourself look absolutely beautiful!" She turned to Mr. and Mrs. Merriman, who were watching proudly. "Good evening, Mr. Merriman, Mrs. Merriman."

"Good evening, dear Elizabeth," smiled Mrs. Merrriman. Arthur shook hands with Mr. Merriman, and delighted his wife by taking her hand and giving it a gentlemanly kiss on the back of it. "Why Mr. Pratt," said she, "you could charm the icing right off the cake!"

"Speaking of cake," Arthur told them all, with a twinkle in his eyes, "Have you seen the tables yet? I have never _beheld _such a magnificent gathering of cakes in one establishment all at once!"

And as Arthur lapsed into an enthusiastic revelrie of the layout of the Templeton buffet tables, Felicity edged Elizabeth aside and asked "Have you seen Ben anywhere yet?"

"Nay!" replied Elizabeth, with a touch of concern. "I was about to ask you the same!"

"Oh, Elizabeth, what if the Captain will not let Ben come tonight?"

Elizabeth took her friend's hand in hers. "You must not fret, Lissie. 'Tis still early! People are still arriving." She chuckled lightly. "The camp is just down the road-if Ben doesn't come, you, me and Arthur shall go and fetch him!"

They laughed, and Felicity felt a little more at ease. "Did your parents come?" she asked.

"Aye...And you might as well know that _Annabelle _is here, too." Elizabeth sighed, smiling. "Our invitation did say 'Cole _family'_..."

Felicity sighed, too. "Aye, I figured she would. But I'm not going to even dwell on it! I'm going to eat, drink, and be merry!"

"Excellent notion!" agreed jovial Arthur, stepping over to them. "Eat, drink, and be Merriman! Felicity, since you are still lacking an escortive armpiece, might I offer you my spare, and escort you lovely ladies to the buffets?"

With Elizabeth nodding encouragingly, Felicity looked to her parents. "May I?"

"Of course, my lovely daughter," Mr. Merriman said cheerfully. "See your friends and have a wonderful time. Don't forget to greet the Templetons. I believe we will go and do that ourselves! Dear?" And he gave his arm to his wife. Felicity smiled warmly at them, for she believed her mother and father to be the most handsome couple in attendence.

_Oh Ben, where ARE you?_

With Felicity on his left arm and Elizabeth on his right, Arthur Pratt happily escorted the three of them to greet the Templetons, thinking it perhaps the proper thing to do before assailing their food.

Lady Templeton was clad in dark red, looking very much like a jubilant plum, complete with pink-tinted wig. The equally plump and ochre-clad, bewigged Lord Templeton bowed time and time again at his chattering wife's side.

"Miss Felicity!" exclaimed the Lady merrily when she saw them approach. "And Miss Elizabeth Cole! What is this here, a threesome?"

"Nay, good Lady," replied Arthur, making a gracious bow with a sweep of his hat. Felicity and Elizabeth curtsied most properly on either side of him. "We are a foursome, who is, at the moment, awaiting our fourth accompanyment in the personage of one Benjamin Davidson!"

"Indeed! And may I ask the name of such a well-mannered, well-spoken young man?"

Arthur beamed proudly from ear to ear. "I am Arthur Pratt, at your service, my Lady. I am the son of Mr. Augie Pratt of Surrey, who is the most talented jeweler and silversmith of This Fine Town." And he took her lace-gloved hand and kissed the back of it.

Lady Templeton blushed most girlishly from her high forehead to her plump little feet. A hand flew to her jewel-clad collarbone. "My! Such elegant manners! I must indeed make an appointment to view your father's work this week, my boy!"

Remembeing _her _manners, Felicity spoke with pleasant politeness. "Lady Templeton, may I ask about your family?"

"Why, thank you, Miss Felicity! My sister Prudence is _still _in a state of melancholia, the poor dear! She sits in the main parlor adjoining the grand ball room if you wish to greet her."

"A-And your nephew, Reginald?" Felicity sounded rather hesitant. "I have not seen him around town lately."

Lady Templeton sighed and shook her head as if the mere mention of her odd nephew was a subject in which she knew not what to make of. "My dear, he is as melancholy as a rainy day in May. He keeps confined to his chambers upstairs, for the most." She looked about the long, wide entry hall around them. "I did see him brooding about awhile ago, but it would seem that he has once again vanished!" She waved her hand dismissively. "Ah, well! His late father's solicitor is due to arrive from Bristol any day now with the terms of transfer of estate when he turns eighteen soon-I do believe the boy thinks the solicitor's ship has been pirated or sunk!" She twittered in amusement. "But perhaps the sight of you will cheer him."

Felicity forced a thin smile.

The approach of another couple behind Felicity and her friends caught the Lady's attention. "Ah, the Wythes are here! Do excuse us, young ladies, Mr. Pratt. Do enjoy yourselves and we shall speak again later!"

"Thank you, Madam!" Arthur again bowed, gave his arms to Elizabeth and Felicity, who murmured their good evenings, and the three turned twoard the main parlor.

Felicity was antsy. "Where _is _Ben?"

"He'll be here, Lissie, I'm sure of it," Elizabeth stated with optimism.

Arthur brought them to the main parlor, which was, like the rest of the manor's interior, elaborately furnished in mostly mahogany, rich woods, and oriental rugs and mirrored walls. It was a large room, for a parlor, and by no means the only room on the bottom floor where gala food could be found, but the one where the most cakes and tarts were sitting, as Arthur felt it necessary to point out.  
Felicity couldn't help but grin. "Arthur Pratt, for a skinny fellow you sure do enjoy the cake!"

"Yes, Arthur," agreed Elizabeth, giving him a curiously amused smile. "How _does _a cake-loving lad such as yourself stay so slim?"

"Chasing after Fernando, for one thing," the happy young man told them merrily. "Falling into prickly bushes for another. Running errands for Mama, keeping up with Papa-the poor man never stays still but to sleep-and having adventures!"

The girls giggled. As Felicity was too anxious to eat anything, she didn't mind Elizabeth and Arthur going ahead and selecting some dainty cakes for themselves. She was continually watching the entryways, her wide green eyes going from face to face to face, hoping, expectant, searching...

A hand came down upon her shoulder and she jumped, startled. The person to which the hand belonged to came around into her vision, and it belonged to none other than Lord Reginald Forsythe, who turned up a corner of his thin mouth, cocked an eyebrow above a hazel eye, and drawled, "Enjoying yourself, my dear Felicity?"

"Ye-Yes!" she blurted, even _more _nervous than before now that the quirky boy-lord was right up close in front of her. He had deftly slid himself into the space between her and Elizabeth and Arthur, who were distracted by the dazzling array of goodies on the long buffet before them.

Forsythe was wearing a tightly curled, long white powdered wig. His face, much to Felicity's shock, was even pwdered white, and with some kind of pigment he had fashioned himself a mole above the left side of his mouth. He was dressed in light purple silk from head to foot, with silvery silk stockings and silver buckles on his purple shoes, which had heels higher than the average men's shoes did. His shirt was flowing with ruffles from its high collar and from the wrists from under the coat sleeves.

_Fop, _Felicity thought, knowing what Ben would think...if he were here, that is. _Fopfopfopfopfop..._

"Excellent," Forsythe murmured. "Might I inquire as to your health?"

"Um," she began uncertainly, glancing left and right. No one seemed to think the boy-lord was so absurdly dressed he demanded a good staring at! She recalled Elizabeth telling her about the outrageous fashions men wore in London, but Felicity had never seen anything like that in Williamsburg before! Yet no one was gawking at him. "I've been doing well, Mr. Forsythe."

He took her hand and kissed it, but with Reginald Forsythe, it was very different from the gentlemanly, honorable way that Arthur Pratt did it. Forsythe's lips lingered upon the back of her small hand. He stared at her steadily, as if he knew quite a bit that she did not, and Felicity Merriman had no doubt that he did.

It was shudderingly unnerving, even if he was dressed like a fop-dandy.

"I've missed seeing you," he said casually, releasing her hand at last. "I just haven't felt myself lately, and Mama's depression has taken a further spiral downward.

"I'm very sorry to hear that."

"Thank you, Miss Felicity." His small hazel eyes flicked over her (again). "You look angellically beautiful, as always."

"Thank _you_, Mr. Forsythe," said Felicity, going blank as to what to talk about next. But she needn't have worried, for Elizabeth and Arthur came from around Forsythe's back to stand next to their friend, much to her relief, and having seen the boy-lord's lavish attire, Elizabeth had to work hard to stifle a chuckle.

Arthur beamed widely. "Hullo, there! You are the young Lord Forsythe we've heard so little about!"

Feeling a tad bit insulted, Forsythe wore an expression that was half snarl and half smile. "I am. 'Tis true, when one has not been about town very much, one cannot expect recognition."

"Then one should not stay shut in," Arthur volleyed back, in good humor of course. "'Tis better to be out, where one can spread one's self about!"

Elizabeth and Felicity giggled. Forsythe looked greatly annoyed.

"Felicity!" called another familiar voice, and Walter Wheaton joined them, moving around Reginald Forsythe, who looked Walter up and down with uppity disapproval. "I saw your parents and I knew you just _had _to be here! Hello, Arthur, Elizabeth. Hello, um..."

"Lord Reginald Forsythe," said Forsythe, with the curtest of nods.

"_Lord_?" said Walter, who then realized that this _must _be the fop-turtle Ben had told him about some time ago. No one else here seemed to fit the description better! "Oh, yes, I remember hearing about you weeks ago from my friend Ben Davidson, being Lady Templeton's nephew and all. I'm Walter Wheaton."

Neither fellow offered a hand shake.

Ignoring Forsythe's annoyed glare, he turned back to Felicity. "I hope I am the first to ask you to dance!"

"Why yes!" Felicity exclaimed, before Forsythe had a chance to get a word out of his quickly opening mouth. "Please do excuse us, Mr. Forsythe. Elizabeth, Arthur, will you not accompany us to the grand ballroom?"

"Of course!" said Elizabeth, setting down her plate of dainty cakes at once. She had no wish to be in Lord Forsythe's line of vision, either. "Good evening, m'Lord. Lovely party!" She slipped her arm through Arthur's.

Forsythe watched the four of them take their leave of him, deciding then and there that he did not care much for Felicity's companions at all. Too rude, too...common. Oh, that Elizabeth girl was all right, easy on the eyes, but that Arthur and that Walter fellow were too lax in their manners. Too immature. At least the blasted Davidson boy was not here to stir up trouble. _That _would be unacceptable. Although it was his Auntie Lucinda's right to invite whomever she pleased, for Lord-Uncle Alexander gave her free run to do whatever she pleased, Reginald did not wish to have that _apprentice _under the same roof as himself.

His eyes were riveted on Felicity. He held back, kept to himself, followed the friendly foursome as they headed towards the ballroom and the music. He still wanted to get close to her, craved her attention and companionship, her angellic face, those emerald eyes. His heart still felt the longing to have her by his side. She was still the most beautiful young girl he'd ever seen. Her lively spirit stirred him. He was drawn to her like moth to flame.

He _still _considered her his earth-angel. _Ah, Lucille, _thought he, envisioning the beautiful young governess who once loved him, _is this you, come back to me in the form of Felicity Merriman? How else can this presence be explained? The painting...your eyes, your hair...are you indeed my Felicity?_

_Miss Lucille, is that you?_

"Felicity," Elizabeth began tensely behind her friend as they entered the grand ballroom, "Aside from the way Lord Forsythe is dressed, the way he stares at you is just _bizzare_! I do wish Ben would hurry! That young man did not like us interrupting his moment with you."

"I can handle Reginald Forsythe," Felicity told her (also trying to convince herself). "I'm not afraid of him. I've thought about it, and I've decided I am not going to let a fop-dandy frighten me!" (Walter grinned at this.) "Aye, he makes me nervous with his staring and his strange behavior, but I do _not _fear him!"

"Good for you, Felicity," Walter said with a grin. "Because he sure does scare _me_!"

"Why so?" Felicity gave him a curious smile. The four of them had entered the magnificent grand ball room and were moving among people standing away from the dancers, watching others, as they looked for a place they could all stand without the crowding of so many bodies and they heat they emitted.

"A fellow who dresses like that and expects not to get laughed right out of town is _quite _frightening!" Walter told them, and they all four laughed.

They stood off within a corner near one of the high, glaze-barred windows and watched the minuets for a moment, before Arthur said, in one word, "Bears."

"Beg pardon?" asked Walter, his voice raising so he could be heard over the violins, spinet, guitars and fifes and loud buzz of close-by conversations. He leaned toward Arthur with a grin.

"Bears!" Arthur hollored, making Elizabeth jump. "Oh, sorry, sweet Elizabeth, I was just thinking aloud! _Bears _are something to really be afraid of!"

Elizabeth giggled uncontrollably. "Not again! Arthur Pratt, have you ever even _seen _a real bear?"

"Aye!" exclaimed he, his blond eyebrows shooting up. "'Twas as we were leaving Yorktown for Williamsburg, and we were in an open-air carriage. There were woods on either side of the road, as you know, and Mama was going on endlessly about the pain in her bum from the holes and bumps in the road, when she shrieked and pointed, and Papa and I turned about in our seats, and beheld a big black bear standing in the middle of our path not too far ahead of the carriage!"

Felicity grinned. "What did the bear do, Arthur?"

"Do? Why, it stood up on its thick back legs and lifted its big black paw at us!"

Walter snorted a laugh into his shoulder. Felicity bit her bottom lip, thinking, and Elizabeth said, "Mayhaps the bear was just, you know, waving _hullo_. Welcoming you and your family to Virginia!"

"Oh nay, Elizabeth! After it dropped back down on its all-fours, two little bears came out of the trees and joined it!"

_"Awwww!" _adored Elizabeth and Felicity as one.

Walter was very much amused. "Did the, um, _mother _bear and her, um, _cub babies _set upon your carriage like the foul demons of hell as you describe?"

Arthur cocked a thoughtful brow. "Well...no...Mama swooned...Papa was yanking on our driver's arm to _'Shoot it, shoot it, shoot it!' _but the driver just laughed and said, 'Hit's jes' a mammy-bear an' 'er young 'uns...'"

Felicity, Elizabeth, and Walter looked at each other and errupted in laughter of the convulsing kind.

"Good people," Arthur pleaded with them, confused, "you should have seen the size of this bear! 'Tis no laughing matter, bears! They have small black eyes and big sharp teeth, and pig fat paws with _looong _sharp claws that can shred a man's flesh like parchment, I tell you!"

Walter shook his head, grinning. "Bears won't bother you if you don't bother them. Like bees."

"We had no intention of bothering this she-bear and her spawn!" cried Arthur. "She stopped our transport!"

"Arthur," Felicity began kindly, "Did the bears hurt anyone?"

"Nay, but-"

"Did anyone hurt the bears?" asked Elizabeth.

"Nay, but-"

"Did the bears hurt the horses?" asked Walter.

"Nay, nay, nay!" Didn't anyone understand the seriousness of the presence of bears? "It was a REALLY BIG BEAR!" At the second coming of gut-wrenching laughter from his three companions, Arthur Pratt turned red and protested, "It could've slain us all!"

Through her laughter Elizabeth asked "Well, what _did _happen?"

"The big bear and her spawn went on across the road and disappeared into yonder woods!"

Walter scratched the back of his head. "So...no one was attacked, no blood was shed, and the horses didn't even spook?" When Arthur blinked rapidly, reddening in embarrassment, Walter stepped over to him, grinning, and clapped him on the shoulder. "Sorry, old man, but _seeing _a bear is not the same as being _savaged _by one!"

Arthur sighed and looked dramatically forlorn. "I suppose you lot percieve me as dumb as the day is long!"

"Oh, no, Arthur!" Elizabeth said, clutching his arm gently and giving her beau an encouraging smile. "You were startled and amazed to see a bear for the first time, that's all! We don't have bears in England-not that _I _know of, anyway. All we've heard about them is just hearsay. That they are big and black, with teeth and claws, and that they eat babies."

"Their own babies?" cried Arthur, horror-struck.

"Nay! People-babies," said Felicity easily.

"I've heard that, too," put in Walter, thoughtfull, as Arthur stared at them agape, "but its never happened to anyone here in Williamsburg-as long as I can remember. In fact, I doubt there's any truth to that at all! Maybe out west, however..." Walter gave the befuddled young Brit a playful thump on the back. "No, Arthur, you're not as dumb as the day is long-'tis late autumn now, the days are short!"

They laughed, with Arthur finally giving in to humor and joining in their mirth. The minuets were done, and the violins struck up a gentle waltz. Walter immediately turned to Felicity. "May I have the pleasure?"

"Certainly, Walter," grinned Felicity, but in her heart she wished it was Ben taking her out on the floor. She looked around for him again, growing quite impatient and worried. Her nervousness had ceased, and she did believe she would become mad if he didn't arrive soon! _'Tis rude to refuse an invitation! _thought she. _Surely Captain Lee knows that-he comes from one of the most popular families in Virginia!_

Behind her Arthur was leading Elizabeth out to the floor. Felicity decided to allow charming, good-natured Walter to distract her, if possible. He knew how to waltz, all right! His eyes had a merry twinkle in them, his smile a dimple at the right of his mouth. Felicity felt a little twinge of self-consciousness and asked, for the sake of conversation, "How was it you were able to come to the ball?"

"Quite by accident!" he told her mischeiviously. "Mr. Ramsey recieved it and intended to come with his wife, but then he got a cold _and _an ague. So he gave me his invitation and told me to go as his representative, so long as I give his regards to Lady Templeton and have a mug of syllabub for him." He shrugged lightly. "So here I am!"

"And there is no young lady to accompany you?"

He grinned again, blushed intensely from his neck up, and said softly, "Naw. I, um, kinda figured you'd be coming, anyway..."

Felicity looked suddenly mildly surprised.

"I wanted to ask you formerly, you know, but..."

"But what?" she pressed gently, with a cock of her head.

"I was afraid it might be true." He looked rather shy then, his eyes looking aside.

"Walter Wheaton, do explain, will you?" She smiled, trying to keep their good humor going, but it was obvious the young man had something on his mind-or _heart_, it would seem- and Felicity had an uneasy feeling it was _her_. She prepared herself for what she guessed she was going to have to say.

He sighed reluctantly. "You know, that you're Ben's girl." His face was anticipating...hoping...preparing.

Felicity Merriman gave him the gentlest, most sympathetic smile she could, as she felt only dear friendship for the older boy. "I am," she told him considerately. "I always have been."

"You love him, don't you." It wasn't a question, but a conformation, which he had long been suspicious of but didn't want to accept. Since he had been interested in her, which had been since early summer, he'd had a nagging feeling about it. No wonder Ben had acted jelous-Ben _had _been jelous, 'twas no act! As Felicity slowly nodded this conformation, Walter nodded slowly as well, his mouth a thin, humble line as he had to accept it at last.

"But Walter, you are still my friend!" she told him imploringly. "You are a kind, brave-hearted person whose friendship I value very much. Do not be upset with me, please?"

"Upset? With _you_?" He smiled widely, a little like his regular self. "Of course not, Lissie! I'm upset with Ben, because he got to your heart before _I _could. I envy him. And he's gonna go to war! He'll be taking your love with him, too, won't he?"

Felicity's smile, too, was thin and humble. "Aye. Walter, please...say you'll still be my friend. That you always will be."

He sighed helplessly. "I will. Always. And if that Ben Davidson doesn't realize how lucky he is to have such a great girl, I'll floor that dumb poop-"

"Ladies and gentlemen!" a butler's loud, clear voice called, and all dancing ceased, along with the bewigged musicians. Everyone turned toward his voice, toward the ballroom's main arched entrance where he stood, hands clasped behind his back. Having gained the attention of the attendees, he raised his chin and called "The Lord Alexander Templeton and the Lady Lucinda Templeton are honored to announce the arrival of Captain Harry Lee and men from the Fifith Virginia Regiment of Dragoons!"

Gasps were emitted among the party-goers, none so loud as Felicity's. Elizabeth and Arthur were fast by her side, their eyes wide and staring, but no eyes were as wide or more full of star-struck wonder than Felicity's. Her heart, it seemed, was up and lodged in her throat, and she could not account for her butterflies, for she felt that they had all fainted dead away from shock!

The bewigged butler, having done the duty for which he had been paid, stepped aside and bowed as none other than Captain Harry Lee himself, smiling smartly, ambled in. _And _he was handsomely clad in a blue leather coat with red trimmings, gold buttons on the collar, down the facing, and on the cuffs. His leather breeches were white and his tall boots black. A single silver epaulette graced his right shoulder, identifying his rank as Captain. A white strap crossing his chest held at his left side the scabbard in which a short sword was sheathed; it's spiral hilt gleamed gold in the warm glow of the surrounding candlelight and nearby fireplace. He was a handsome sight to behold, as one dreamily sighing young lady a few feet away from him could've sworn testament to had she been consulted!

Other men of his regiment followed him in, each nodding to ladies and men alike. Captain Harry proudly made his way to Lord and Lady Templeton standing on the other side of the room, watching him and his men with impressed expressions. Lady Templeton's lacy fan began to waft faster. The young men had arrived!

And then Felicity Merriman saw him.

They saw each other at the same time, actually. Soft brown eyes met sparkiling emerald ones. Felicity actually forgot to breathe as he came towards her, smiling knowlingly. He, too, was clad in a blue coat with red facings and gold buttons, white breeches that looked like they had been painted on, tall black boots, and a white band across his chest that held a sheathed short-sword like his captain's. Although he wore no epaulettes, he was still strikingly handsome! His brown hair was pulled back neatly in a black ribbon and he was wearing black leather gloves. He came straight to Felicity.

CHAPTER 19 FINISHED!


	20. Chapter 20 Private Benjamin Davidson

_**Felicity: An American Girl Romance, Part 1, CH.20: Private Benjamin Davidson**_

Aye, Ben Davidson, clad in his new uniform, was coming right for his Felicity!

Elizabeth's first cry was, "They have uniforms!" Arthur was thinking _What a smart shade of blue! _Walter, with a grin, uttered, "Well I'll be damned! It's Private Davidson!" And Felicity, as close to voluntarily swooning as she'd ever been in her entire eleven years of life, stepped forward with her hands clasped to her collarbone.

"Ben?"

He was beaming wide, with shyness and merriment (it was fun, indeed, to see his friends and his beloved getting a load of him!), as he bowed before her, then took her hand and kissed the back of it. "Good evening, Miss Felicity."

"Oh Ben, you came!"

"Only for you, my girl." He tucked her hand under his arm, his eyes never leaving hers as she now stood by his side, smiling proudly. He shook hands with Arthur. "Good to see you, Arthur."

"Likewise, young Benjamin!" returned the gleeful lad.

He took Elizabeth's hand and gave it a squeeze. "And you, too, Elizabeth. You look very fine tonight."

"Thank you, Ben." To repay his kind complement she curtsied most properly. "'Tis good to see you, as always."

At last Private Benjamin Davidson turned to the staring Walter Wheaton. The two eighteen year olds regarded each other quietly, as Felicity's, Elizabeth's and Arthur's eyes went from one boy to the other and back. There was a tense moment , then...both boys broke out in grins, much to their friends' relief, and they shook hands firmly.

"Good to see you, Ben."

"That's _Private _Ben to you, _civilian_!" Ben told him wryly and they laughed.

The music had started again, another waltz, and most of Lee's men had found dancing partners. Lee himself was dancing with the girlishly blushing Lady Templeton, much to the amusement of the surrounding party-goers.

"Lissie?" Ben gazed at her warmly. "Shall we?" When her mouth came open in astonishment, he said smoothly, "I'll take that as a _yes_!" He nodded to their awe-struck friends. "Please excuse us."

"Of course!" chirped Elizabeth, and Arthur beamed.

He led her to the dance floor, as he'd been most anxious to get her alone this night. Without a word he clasped her right hand in one of his and rested his other on her back as they fell in with the other couples. For a few minutes they just looked at each other, wearing expressions of wonder and questioning.

Finally Felicity gulped and aked, "Are you _really _my Ben?"

"Aye," replied he, amused at her question. "Why do you ask?"

"Because _my _Ben doesn't care much for dancing."

"Well, I didn't used to! When I asked the Captain what I was supposed to do, he said to me, 'Private, when you're dancing with the girl who owns your heart, you'll be too busy filling your eyes full of her to worry about what your feet are doing. They'll know what to do. You just enjoy the girl!'" And he looked down at his boots, shrugged, and said, "It seems he was right!"

Felicity giggled nervously. "You _are _my Ben!"

"Always," he murmured, gazing steadily at her. "You look absolutely beautiful, Lissie. The prettiest by far."

"Thank you, Ben. And you are the most handsome soldier that ever lived."

"So, you like the new uniforms?" His heart skipped and his ego inflated to ballroom size proportions.

Felicity sighed happily. "Oh indeed! It makes you seem..._older_. More..._worldly_." She inhaled fully. "You really _are _a soldier now. _Now _it seems real. It _is _real. Good Lord, Ben, you're a soldier!" There was fear in her voice as much as there was excitement. She fought the rise of saddened emotion and said, "But you have been for months now. I've-we've been spoiled by having you so close by still, but..." Her voice had a quiver in it. "You-You seem so _different _now..." And into her eleven year old mind there suddenly popped something he had told her once, when he had been escorting her to her lessons at Ms. Manderly's house...

_The world is changing, Felicity, you must pay attention._

Bitterly she thought in retaliation, _Well curse me if I HAVEN'T been paying attention! YOU are changing! Everything is changing! Its too soon, too fast!_

"Come with me," was all he said in response to her words. Willingly and wordlessly, she let him lead her away from the floor and out of the grand ballroom, into one of the less occupied parlors, which had very liitle food left on its buffet and sideboard, and he drew her to a corner near a window overlooking the Templeton gardens, which were dimly lit by a November moon that was not quite full.  
He held her hands in his. His youthfully handsome face was eager and hopeful, his brown eyes almost pleading. He swallowed hard and asked, "Did Walter escort you here this evening?"

"Of course not." She frowned, confused. "I came with Mother and Father-didn't you see them? Ben, what's wrong?"

"I just...wanted to know." He exhaled long and slowly. "Because he fancies you, you know."

"I know," she replied, as if it were no big deal. Ben was looking nervous, so she added, "He asked me tonight if I was your girl and if I loved you. If I would continue loving you while you were gone." She smiled shyly. "I told him _yes_-to all accounts!"

Ben grinned and hugged her good and hard. Then he moved her back and asked worriedly "Has Forsythe bothered you this evening?"

"Sort of. I was more bothered by the way he is dressed! Have you seen _him_? But Elizabeth and Arthur have been with me all the time, and then Walter arrived...not that I need to be watched like a baby, mind you. Now I know that look of yours, Ben Davidson. What have you got boiling in your brain?"

"Felicity," he began softly, seriously, "there's something I must ask you-even if I really have no right to...and you don't have to say what you think I _want _to hear-but I _have _to ask it, Lissie, I _have _to."

She gestured with wide open arms. "Well _do_, already!"

He licked his lips, hesitating, wondering if he was doing the right thing for the both of them. She looked sooo enchanting in her brown and gold gown, like a forest-faerie princess, so full of blooming beauty and radiant girlishness...How could he put such a demand on her as he was about to do? He couldn't help it-he loved her. "I know your father said we were not obliged to each other, that we're not supposed to put expectations on each other, but...I love you, Lissie, I-will you-?" His breath caught.

Her eyes were swimming as she, too, held her breath. "Will I..?"

He gripped her shoulders. Hard. "Will you _wait for me_, Felicity Merriman?"

"Wait for you?" She did not understand.

"Aye," he breathed. "You know-_wait _for me. I mean...please, Lissie, don't give your heart away while I'm gone!" He watched as realization dawned across her young pixie-face, and she gripped his arms in a sudden rush of emotion.

"Oh Ben, I could never!" cried she. "My heart belongs to you! I could never give away what is no longer mine! Aye, I will wait for you!" She leaned up in her exuberant joy, and kissed his cheek, sending tingles of excitement throughout the both of them.

"But Lissie," he said, almost sadly and remindingly, "your father said we were not obliged to each other. If you should want to change your mind, I-I will understand. You're just eleven, and I have no right to ask this of you."

"Ben," she began as gently, sympathetically, and as convincing as she could, "I'm no child. I am at that age where I need to start thinking about my future, whether I really want to or not, and I really don't want to because anything I hope for I'm afraid will not happen. But I love you, Ben Davidson. That is for certain! I will wait for you to return to me, and see what regard we will have for each other!"

He gulped desperately. "I won't stop loving you, Lissie. _That _is for certain!"

"But you have to come home to me, Ben. You _have _to." Her eyes filled with tears, but they did not spill yet. "Any promise you make is useless unless you are alive to keep it."  
Once again, the grim reality of war hung over them.

At length, he said, "As long as there is life in me, Felicity Merriman, Iwill return to you. That I can promise you." And suddenly he was crabbing at the inside of his cravat, working up and out the cord that his familiar signal whistle hung from. Felicity watched with throat clenching emotion as he lifted it over his head and then over hers, laying it with great affection upon her collarbone with trembling fingers. "Wear this," he told her determinedly, watching the whistle come to rest against her gold lace stomacher. "Wear it as a reminder of what we mean to each other and my intention to come back to you...and so that any fellow who approaches you will know that you're _my _girl!" And he felt a mad rush of intense possession of her that made him temble from his queue to his high boots.

Felicity pressed his whistle to her person and stared at him, astonished, speechless, wide-eyed and open-mouthed. It took a moment to find her voice, but when she did, she whispered, "I will not take it off!"

Ben took her into his arms, kissed her little pink mouth firmly but gently. Their noses bumped, their foreheads touched. "Ben, can't you...can't you kiss me like an adult?" Felicity asked breathlessly.

His eighteen year old hormones were rampaging; her very presence set his longings to demand more than innocent kisses. It took a soldier's strength to slam those urges back down. _Heaven help _me_! She's just such _a _little beauty, so amazing, so special...HOW can I expect her to wait on someone like me? _"Lissie," he said huskilly, "it would be heaven to kiss you like that. I want to, believe me! And I will, someday, I swear it. I just need you to grow up a little more first. In the mean time, i will go fight for our freedom so I won't have to make myself mad dreaming about it all the time!'

"Blast!" Felicity muttered, downhearted and not caring if anyone overheard her curse. Ben didn't care, for 'twas he who had taught her! "I'm not a child, and I'm not an adult! I _do _so hate this in-between business! Boys wanting to court me and I'm not even old enough, not that I care about other boys." Her pixie-chin was stubborn.

"Now don't get all grumbly, pretty Lissie." He took her chin between thumb and curled finger, and lifted her gaze to his. "even though you're _adorable _when you're grumbly." His voice softened wistfully. "I shall miss you being grumbly." He thought a moment. "I shall miss your independent spirit..." _Your eyes, your soft lips, the way you hug me close and tight... _"If all of our soldiers had your spirit this war would already be over! Please, Lissie, don't change...too much!"

"But _you _have already changed, Ben Davidson!" Again the tears threatened to spill. "You're a soldier now! You've learned how to shoot and fight, to salute and address your superiors. You want me to be older so you can kiss me properly, yet you don't want me to change? 'Tis not fair! What do you expect?"

"I expect you to still defy the limitations and rules society burdens you with!" His hands rested upon her shoulders once more. "Those expectations that come from _England_, no doubt! I expect you to keep that fire in your soul that I love in you so much, to be _my _patriot girl. We're both fighting for independence, Lissie."

She nodded. "When you say it like that...aye, I guess we are. I _will _change, Ben. I will get taller and look older. But we can both agree I'll never be a true gentlewoman." She sighed submissively.  
"Listen to me, Felicity Merriman! If being a gentlewoman means your voice must be silenced and your spirit crushed, your very thoughts controlled and your life forever bound up in a whale-boned corset, then to hell with that!"

Felicity shook with fear and intensity and emotion so fierce her knees began to shake. Her eyes were locked so deeply with Ben's it seemed as though they were of one mind, one person. They were very well aware that they now stood upon a threshold, that, once having been crossed, could never be reversed. So they had come to it, then. "If I am not a gentlewoman, Ben," she said in a near-whisper, "what does that make me?"

The term came to him as easily as his own name. "A _free_-_spirit_. Aye, that's what you are, a free-spirit. England will not have rule over the colonies, and society will not have rule over _you_!" He crushed her to him in a mad embrace, and she felt his heart, from beneath coat, vest and shirt, pounding passionately against his ribs.

After several long minutes Felicity looked up into his soft brown eyes. To him she said in a voice so wise, "You will go to war and return. I will be a patriot woman and give myself to the cause. I will continue to love you and wear your whistle as a symbol of what beliefs I hold to and to _whom _I hold to."

Ben was nearly overcome with emotions; love, pride, happiness, the sorrow of leaving, longing, anxiety, excitement, worry...the whole gamut, all of which rested upon a healthy surge of teenage hormones, the latter of which the young soldier knew nothing about. His Felicity would grow and become the very essence of earthly beauty. It just didn't seem fair to expect someone so beautiful and independent to wait for him when there were fellows he felt more deserving of her than himself.

But he was human. He wanted young Felicity for his own. He wanted her to wait. He felt the greed, the self-centeredness, the desperation. He swallowed with some difficulty, raised her hands to his lips, then said, "And I will hold to you, my pretty Lissie...my pretty patriot girl. I will think of all that we have been through together, the love and kindness of your family, your friendship, your love...I will think of sitting up on the roof on a warm summer night with you and staring at the stars. Chocolate cakes the size of flower sacks..."

They chuckled nervously.

"Dance with me?" he asked in a hopeful tone, and Felicity nodded vigorously. She took his arm and they left the small parlor to return to the grand ballroom. And when they entered it, they were smiling proudly, a young soldier with his little lady-who-wouldn't-be-little-much-longer. Near the arched entrance they came through stood Annabelle Cole, who gasped and went motionless, letting her fan fall to the floor in shock. Reginald Forsythe, who stood near his Auntie and Uncle, who were obliviously chatting away with guests, stared angrily but was unable to do anything about it. Walter Wheaton, who'd been carrying on a conversation with some of Lee's young men, saw them and raised his glass of cider to them with a smile. Elizabeth and Arthur were still dancing (having been lost in the blooming of their own young love) and, upon seeing Ben and Felicity return looking closer than ever, beamed at them happily.

And so they danced.

As the late evening progressed, the _only _fellow Ben Davidson would yield his Felicity to for dancing was his captain. Harry Lee was as smooth and charming on the dance floor as he was off of it. "My mischievious Miss Elf, 'tis a joy to be your dancing partner for a bit," said he, with a twinkle in his eye. "I promise not to keep you from your Ben _too _long."

Felicity giggled happily. "'Tis an honor to dance with you, Captain!"

As they waltzed, Ben watched them from the punch table with a smile. Arthur and Elizabeth stood with him. Arthur had insisted on getting a good look at Ben's new short-sword, and whistled sharply when he beheld the sharp, steel blade gleaming in the candleabras beside them.

"Zounds!" exclaimed the giddy blond lad. "That is one bloody impressive bread-slicer!"

Ben laughed heartily. "That's all it will be good for if we don't get orders soon!" He slid the sword home in its sheath with already skillful, quick precision. His time with the Captain since September had not been at all wasted. He glanced at Elizabeth and asked uncertainly, "Um, Elizabeth, do you mind if I steal Arthur away from you for a few minutes? I need to talk to him about something, um, well...something about..."

"Manly matters?" inquired Elizabeth with a grin. "I see. Certainly, Ben. I need to go see about Annabelle, anyway. She did look a rather odd shade of green when you came in with Lissie." She patted Arthur's arm. "I'll return in a bit."

"Thank you, Elizabeth," Ben told her with a grateful smile.

"Fine girl, my Elizabeth," Arthur commented happily, and Ben nodded in agreement. "What is on your mind, young Benjamin?"

"Felicity," replied Ben promptly.

"Well that is not news."

Ben smiled lightly. "Listen to me Arthur. There is something important I need to ask of you. I need a favor, and you are just the right person for it."

"Name it!" Arthur stated right quick, feeling eager and most glad to be considered where important matters were concerned. He looked gravely urging.

"Arthur, I know how close you and Elizabeth and Feliclty are-you've become a very loyal friend to Lissie, and I appreciate that. What I'm wanting to ask you is, will you please keep an eye on her for me? You know, um, not let Forsythe get close to her, or...or..."

"Make sure no foul fellow or any lad _not _named Ben Davidson tries to steal your Felicity from you!" the keen lad interjected, the gist having been gotten!

"Aye," breathed Ben in relief. He hadn't wanted to seem possessive or insensitively scheming, but his anxieties were gnawing ruthlessly at him. He felt he _had _to do something!

Arthur raised his chin, puffed out his chest and said, "Consider it done, young Benjamin! Arthur Pratt, romantic spy for-the-sake-of-love, at your service!"

Ben grinned widely. "Arthur, you're quite a character!"

"Thankee."

"But it means a lot to me that you will do this. I don't know if Lissie would approve-probably not, but I can't lose her, Arthur, I just can't. If it is God's will that I meet my fate in battle, well..." He inhaled deeply. "...it cannot be helped. But God willing, i will come back and-and-_make that girl a Davidson_!"

"Wowwee!"

"Aye!" Ben exhaled, as if his last revelation had taken the very breath right out of his lungs. _Whoosh! 'Make her a Davidson!' That means ma- ma- marri- _He swallowed hard. "We shall see."

Elizabeth had returned, smiling curiously. "I hope I'm not interrupting any important man-talk!"

"Oh no," Ben replied quickly, trying to sound casual, even though both he and Arthur were shifting feet. "We have our, er, manly-matter settled." He cleared his already cleared throat nervously. "Oh, look, the music stopped. I'm going to get Felicity now. Yes. I'll go do that." And off he strode, pretending to be scratching his left ear lobe.

Elizabeth giggled. "Now what was _that _about?"

Arthur took one of her hands in both of his own. "A young soldier in love, my Beth! It would seem our Ben simply cannot do without my romantic intuitions."

The amused skepticism in her voice matched her lopsided grin. "Ben came to _you _for romantic advice?"

Arthur raised his chin in his own defence. "I did not imply that I administered advice unto him! I merely applied friendship and manly understanding!"

"Ahhh, I see...!" Elizabeth giggled again, feeling investigative. "Arthur Pratt, you know something that I do not?"

Gulp! "What makes you say that?"

"Because you have that look on your face that says 'I know something that you do not.' "

Arthur reddened quickly. He felt for certain that what Ben wanted him to do should be kept between Ben and him only. At least for now. "Oh." He pulled at his cravat at the side of his neck with a finger, for he had suddenly become rather warm. He cleared his already cleared throat as well. "Well! So! How is your Annabelle? Heh-heh."

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow, amused.

Captain Lee gave Ben leave to ride home with the Merrimans as long as he was back at camp by morning. He and Felicity sat across from Mrs. Merriman, and ben kept Felicity's small hand tucked warmly under his closest arm. Oh, it had been a fine evening! It had been around midnight when they bid their hosts goodnight, and even then the party was still going strong, but the two Merriman ladies were growing tired. So despite their protests, they relented to their men's insistence that they retire for the night. Ben had murmured into Felicity's little ear that he would carry her home in his arms if he had to, and Felicity whispered right back that she would enjoy that very much.

But they came home by carriage, which was most enjoyable, and having Ben see her to the door gave Felicity her much needed opportunity to give Ben the things she had made for him...and a couple of other things as well. After having some hot chocolate with Mr. and Mrs. Merriman out in the big kitchen, Felicity and Ben were given some time alone so that she could give him his gifts in private.

"Here," she told him, dropping a brown sack into his lap where he sat at the table's bench. "This is for you."

"Sure is heavy-what have you got for me now, a small sack of sugar?" He grinned, already feeling enthralled with whatever she had for him. His beautiful brown eyes were full of warmth and affection in the light of the fireplace.

Felicity stood before him patiently, hands clasped behind her back. "Find out for yourself, soldier."

So he did. He reached in and withdrew the first thing his hand touched. Something soft...clothing? He pulled out a white, newly sewn shirt, held it up with both hands. "You made this, didn't you, Lissie..."

She beamed proudly, which was all the answer he needed.

"I'ts...it's perfect. _You _did this. _You _made this...for _me_." His awe-misted eyes met hers. "Lissie, I don't know what to say."

"Say 'hmm, what else has the lovely, magnificent, amazing Felicity have in store for me?'"

Laughing, he reached in and pulled out a red woollen scarf, which he immediately wrapped around his neck, grinning as Felicity watched him pleasantly. The next thing he pulled out was a black woollen cape, which had him gaping in astonishment. This was followed by a pair of black cotton breeches-simple, plain, but obviously well-made. He stared at Felicity in wide wonder.

"Mother and the ladies helped me with everything, especially the breeches. I know they're not uniform breeches, but it will be cold this winter...I hope they fit." Emotion welled up in her throat, threatening to clog both her voice and her air, and she couldn't speak again without her tone going strained. "Maybe-maybe you could wear them under your uniform and be a little warmer."

"Aye," Ben whispered in agreement. He too, had to struggle to suppress the raw emotion rearing up inside him. To keep it at bay he reached back into the bag and found a small ink pot, sanding pot, and, of all things, Felicity's own diary. Unable to speak a word at first, he looked up at her, his eyes so full of love...and questioning.

"I know you won't be able to write all the time, but if you're able..._when _you're able," she told him with grim acceptance, "use the blank pages in my diary-there are plenty of them left to tear out. The rest you can read...if you haven't read them all already." She smiled a little.

He held the diary in his hands and stared at it. _Felicity's heart, in my hands... _"I've got your knife with me, you know," he said softly, returning her smile. "Inside my coat here. I keep it handy." He carefully laid her diary aside, rose and reached for her. Hugged tightly to him, she was once more invaded by the scents of leather and musk. He was still so skinny, even if he was looking older and more..._soldierly_. Change was upon them both, and nothing would be the same after tonight.

Ben hugged her and held her as long as he dared, then kissed her lips gently and firmly. David, the carriage driver, was waiting for him out front to take him back to the camp, and the longer Ben waited the harder it was going to be to leave. Felicity walked with him, holding his hand, as they came at last to the front gate where the carriage, and David, were waiting.

"Thank you, Lissie, for all of this," Ben said affectionately. "For your friendship, ypur love, everything." He laid his sack of precious gifts inside the carriage and turned to her. In the dim lights of the candle lanterns on the outside of the carriage he could see her eyes glistening full of tears that needed to fall.

"You don't need or have to thank me, Ben Davidson," she told him evenly. "Just come home to me alive."

David was up on the bench, holding the reins, being silent and patient. Ben touched Felicity's face, whispered "I love you, my Lissie." Then he kissed her mouth quick and hard.

"I love you too...very much." They exchanged a serious, soul-clenching look of understanding and acceptance, then Ben stepped inside the carriage and closed the daoor softly, looking out of it all the while. David quietly signaled th e horses, and the carriage started off, slowly, into the night and out of the comforting light that came from within the Merriman house.

Felicity stood there at the front gate until she could no longer see or hear the family carriage any more. Without even realizing it she was clutching Ben's signal whistle in both of her hands. She did not cry. She stared at the road, deep in thought, thinking, believing, that her future and that of her beloved Ben was as dark and unrevealing as the road itself.

Change was happening.

She turned, went inside and up to bed. Her sisters and William were asleep, and her parents had just retired as well. Mr. and Mrs. Merriman did trust their daughter and Ben alone together, especially when it came to sad partings, anyway. Her mother and father sounded as if they, too, had just begun to retire. Maybe they had waited to see if she needed them? Aye, once upon a time (and recently) she would have, but not now. She needed peace and quiet just now, to review and digest all that had been seen and said this night.

She needed sleep, and to think.

The Merriman parents had, indeed, waited to hear Felicity come upstairs before blowing out their candlelights. "Well," Mr. Merriman commented, as he slid under the covers beside his wife, "she has come in. I heard no tears in the process of being shed, did you?"

"No," agreed Mrs. Merriman in a hushed tone. "Nor did I hear sighing or sniffing."

"Should one of us go to her?"

Mrs. Merriman considered this a moment, then replied, "Truth be told, dear, I think not. She's growing up remarkably fast-almost _too _fast, and she's been showing remarkable strength these past few months, wouldn't you agree?"

Mr. Merriman chuckled lightly. "Aye, wife."

"You came back to me," she went on to say. "We both know there's a very good chance that Ben will not, though I pray for his safety each and every day, and for Lissie's strength. I know just how she feels, having to say goodbye to her first real love. I got to marry my first and only love. I pray..."

"So do I, love, so do I. If he returns...who knows?" Mr. Merriman thought for a moment as well. "I don't think that tonight was their last goodbye, though."

"My goodness, Edward, how much longer can Captain Lee be kept waiting? I have no desire to see our young men go, but God bless them, they're being left to dangle like laundry on the line!"

"'Tis frustrationg for all of us, wife," Mr. Merriman said worriedly. "One way or the other. I've a feeling the Captain and his men are here on borrowed time. Luck, I'm sorry to say, eventually runs out."

Together they sighed.

Felicity was having a very nice dream about riding Penny with Ben sitting behind her, his long arms wrapped around her good and tight, and he was whispereing into her ear, "Lissie, my love...wake up now."

"Wake up, Lissie!" Nan urged, rocking her sisiter's shoulder persistently. "Mother says you've slept long enough now. You have to get up and tell me all about the ball last night!"

Grumbling incoherently the absurdities of dream-speak, mussy-headed Felicity slapped at Nan's poking and jabbing hands, then forced herself to sit up without opening her eyes. Nan giggled at her.

Felicity could sense it was well into the morning, and her body's groggy, heavy feeling told her she had indeed slept past her usual wake-up time. Her mother must have allowed her to sleep in late because it was well after midnight before they had gone to sleep. _Dear, sweet Mother..._

Nan, who was already dressed, tugged at Felicity's sleeve. "Now tell me all about the ball, and dancing with the dashing Captain Lee."

"Nan," Felicity croaked drowzily, "I just woke up. I can't even recall my full name."

"Felicity Naomi Merriman," prompted Nan, who twirled about beside the bed, holding the sides of her dress out as she fancied herself in a dance. "Now tell!"

Suddenly their bedchamber door came wide open and Elizabeth burst in, all sunshine and grins. "Good morning!" she sang as she bounced merrily over to the bed, turned around, and flung herself blissfully backward onto it, letting her arms flail carelessly. "'Tis a _wonderful _day!" she exclaimed dreamily. "And was it not a _wondeful _ball, Lissie?"

"_I _wouldn't know," Nan told her, smiling down at Elizabeth's beaming, upside down face. "Lissie hasn't told me _anything _yet!"

Felicity rubbed her eyes, clearing them of gunky stuff, and grinned sleepily down at her happy friend. "I have just become conscious, you see."

"Ah, but Lissie!" swooned Elizabeth, "how can you stay abed when there is such a day as this?"

There was a pause of silence, then Felicity's eyes went wide open. "Arthur KISSED you!"

Elizabeth cackled wickedly and wildly, rapidly beating the mattress with her small fists. Nan gasped, hands quickly popping up to cover her mouth as she hopped up and down. Felicity giggled savagely and squirmed where she sat. The three girls snickered and blushed and looked at each other like they were in on the world's biggest secret. Indeed, they were feeling deliciously naughty!

Elizabeth rolled over onto her stomach and propped up on her elbows. Her big blue eyes were full of romantic stars. "Aye, my bear-fearing, cake-consuming dapper Mr. Arthur Pratt has, most definately, _kissed _me! He _kissed _me, Lissie! He kissed me, and therefore _I_, Elizabeth Cole, have been _kissed_!"

Again there was a mad round of fitful, girly squealing.

"Did he kiss you with his mouth open?" Felicity eagertly demanded to know.

'Oh, no," Elizabeth giggled, as Nan stared on in wild wonder. "He puckered up, like you showed me the way Ben did. Oh, it was so sweet!"

Nan sighed with romantic despair. "_I've _never been kissed! When will _I _get kissed?"

Smiling comfortingly, Felicity reached for her younger sister and pulled her onto the bed beside her. "Sweet Nan, it will not be long before all the young fellows in Williamsburg will be pounding at our door to see you! Father says you and I have Mother's beauty, and that means _lots _of fellows will come to call!" This seemed to comfort Nan a great deal, but Felicity continued to think aloud. "But _I _do not want any other boy but Ben. I'm wearing his signal whistle now." She pulled on the cord around her neck and up came the whistle from under her shift.

Elizabeth sat up and stared.

Nan peered at it curiously and asked, "Don't you want to be courted by other boys, Lissie? I mean, wouldn't you like to have a choice?"

"I chose Ben," Felicity told her kindly. "He has my heart. I have no need to see other boys."

Elizabeth nodded slowly. "Aye, Lissie, I agree. I feel like I lost my heart to Arthur Pratt the moment I ran into him. I suppose some girls like to have a choice of beaus all around them. But for other girls, they don't need to have but one. I feel very lucky to have found Arthur."

Felicity grinned and touched Elizabeth's arm. "Arthur is lucky to have found _you_!"

"I want _lots _of beaus!" Nan said determinedly. "I want them to be fine, handsome lads with good manners and good sense!" She folded her arms, having set her mind to it. "And I want them to bring me lots of gifts and tokens of affection!"

Felicity and Elizabeth laughed merrily, but they exchanged a look that said, _'Well how about THAT!' _But Nan merely smiled. In _her _mind she decided that she would only prefer boys who were _not _like that Ben Davidson. She affirmed to herself that the boy she chose (and she decided to have a gracious plenty to pick from!) would be a boy who was not going to break her heart, like she was quite certain Ben Davidson was going to do to her sister!

It was a few weeks later that Felicity woke up one morning, early, while the sky was still dark, with a sense of urgency so strong that she could've sworn she'd been slapped awake. Beside of her, Nan slept on, with one arm thrown across her face.

_Ben_, the urgent voice in her head said. _Get to Ben._

She scrambled out of bed as hastilly as she could without waking her sister and grabbed in the dark where she knew her grey and white every day dress was draped over the trunk at the foot of their bed. It had 'built-in' stays that laced up the front, which made getting dressed (especially in the dark) much easier. Within minutes she was in her shoes and red wollen winter cloak, tip-toeing down the stairs and out the front door.

Penny. She would need Penny. If she ran to the fields, she'd be sore and ready to drop by the time she got there. Aye, Penny would get her there very quickly. But as she swung open the barn door and rushed in, she stopped short and gasped, for lantern light illuminated a figure standing beside Old Bess's stall.

Father!

"Felicity?" Mr. Merriman looked surprised. "What are you doing out here this early?"

No excuses. She had to hurry. She spoke fast. "I have to get out to the camp, Father! I just _have _to! It's Ben! I woke up with the feeling that I just had to get out there to him one last time! Father, _please_!"

Mr. Merriman's worried gaze fell to the signal whistle swaying side to side from it's cord around Felicity's neck. The urgent, desperate look in his eldest daughter's eyes was almost too much to bear. "Well, go on, then," he said finally. "Are you going to take Penny?"

"Yes, Father." She hurried to the already alert mare's stall as she spoke. "I shall only need her rope-rein."

"Lissie," Mr. Merriman said carefully, "We both knew he'd be leaving any time. If they are indeed leaving, you mustn't get in their way."

"I won't, Father." As she hurried on Penny's rope-rein, little Patriot stood back, his eyes wide and his ears twitchy, as if he could sense the need for urgency, that this was not the time for play.

"I was just about to ride out there on Old Bess myself," her father said, with his eyes meeting Felicity's. "I've been going out there every other morning to see if Captain Lee needed anything for that day, or even if I could help."

"Oh, father!" She ran to him and hugged him as hard as she could. "That is so wonderful of you! But I'm so thankful that you cannot go with them!"

He smiled, in that wise fatherly fashion that suggested he already knew how dear he was to his family as they were to him. "You best hurry, dear-one. I won't be far behind you."

Felicity nodded. With fast, familiar movements, she was up on Penny's back, guiding the mare out of her stall. Her father had opened the barn doors wide, for the convenience of a horse and rider having to get started in haste. Penny was at a fast trot going out. The crisp, late autumn air stung Felicity's cheeks, but she wasn't cold. She wore wollen fingerless gloves, thick woollen stockings, and her cloak was close about her, hood on. Penny was feeding off of her mistress's energy, so _she _was not cold either.

The sky in the east was becoming grey as Penny cantered along the road, which was mercifully dry as of now. _Go, go, go, _the voice in her head persisted. _Go to Ben. _"Please, Ben, still be there! Don't leave just yet!" she begged aloud. She pressed Penny into a gallop, seeing that they were not far from Lee's fields now.

Felicity Merriman's heart jumped into her throat when she came upon the scene: men were quickly assembling on their horses, orders were being shouted loud and firmly, the foot soldiers were shouldering their gear as they stood waiting around the camp fires. It was all too clear they were preparing to leave. Their orders had come. Men who had a long journey ahead of them often readied for departure at the crack of dawn (or in this case, before) so they could make the most of what daylight there was during short days.

Winter days _were _awfully short.

Her throat was suddenly dry. The grey in the east was beginning to spread, and in the silvery light she could not yet discern faces. Men's wives and women-folk were standing and watching, for they could not go with them. Not with _this _regiment. Upon Penny, Felicity surveyed the rushing, the rolling up of tents, the dousing of fires-and Captain Lee's own tent was no longer assembled, but by now she had become accustomed to it's geographical location near the pine trees, so that's where she aimed for. The trees. She stayed outside the gathering soldiers, outside the camp fires that were still going. Dare she even call for Ben?

_No, I mustn't! _she scolded herself harshly. _I must not get in their way! Lord, Ben, where are you? I just want to see you one more time! _She was dimly aware of Ben's signal whistle bouncing against her chest as she urged Penny into a trot. They went a few yards, then turned and went back.

"Felicity!" a voice called out. Ben!

A startled sound came from her parted lips involuntarily, and she whirled Penny around. Frantically her eyes searched among the organized chaos for where his voice came from, and she saw him, in the dim twilight, standing with his assigned horse, Grover, near one of the remaining lit campfires. He was beckoning rapidly as he looked around.

Felicity slid off Penny's back and hurried over, leading Penny by her rope. Horses were neighing to one another, and the copper-colored mare's head was high, catching all the excited sounds. Her ears twitched, for she understood them. She didn't care much for large crowds, especially when the tastes of anxiety and urgency were thick in the air. Rattling muskets, firm shouting voices, and running humans were making her rather antsy!

"Felicity, what are you doing here?" As if he had to ask. He was breathing fast as he grasped her arms. "How did you know?" He was wearing a black, bear-skin helmet, with a horse-hair plume, that was very handsome indeed, even if it was just a plain dragoon's helmet. He wore his black gloves and Felicity's red scarf around his neck.

"I just _knew_!" she panted, gripping him by the lapels. "I woke up knowing! I had to get to you-I had to..." Good Lord, the time had finally come! "...say _goodbye_!"

"Lissie..." His gloved hand caressed her small, pale cheek. In the grey light of early morning he could see her emerald eys gazing back at him with more love and longing than he'd ever seen. He'd half-hoped that she would not be back, so that this final parting would not be so rushed and difficult, and then he'd half-hoped that she _would _come back, for his eyes were always greedy for the sight of her. A kiss, a caress, a crushing embrace. He saw she was wearing his whistle and it touched him so that his eyes filled.

_You're off to war, now, _his own mind reminded him tauntingly. _This is your doing. This is what YOU wanted, remember?_

She held his hand to her face and smiled encouragingly.

He did his best to keep his voice steady. "The Fifith Troop of Light Horse has joined in with the First Contental Light Dragoons...under Major Theodoric Bland. I know you've heard of him."

Felicity nodded.

"Well...we're going north. To Philadelphia. That's all I know right now."

_Philadelphia! _Her lower lip quivered in an effort not to cry. _No, I WON'T cry! I WILL be strong! I am a PATRIOT, for God's sake. I can show Ben I will not crumble like a cookie so easily! Even if I want to. _"Be careful, Ben. Please."

"I'll try." He offered what he hoped was his best faithful smile.

"Kiss the girl, Davidson," A man said as he rode by slowly on a horse, pausing only briefly to look at them. "Kiss her and mount up." It was Captain Lee! "May we meet again, Miss Elf." He urged his horse on. He had sounded so serious, so...authorative.

_Well of course, you dolt! _Felicity thought desperately. _He is the Captain, and it is time to go to war. Oh, Ben is going to war! _And as if Ben could read her thoughts, he clutched her to him and kissed her good and hard upon her mouth with that sweet pucker that she had become so familiar with. Would they ever kiss again? Would they ever again hold each other tight, like they were doing now, with their hearts racing against their ribs, and with the comfort that their young frames gave to the other?

They looked at each other. "Goodbye...my pretty Lissie."

"Goodbye," she whispered back, "my handsome soldier."

Lord, she sure knew how to break his heart. He gulped, swung up on Grover's back, reached for her hand and gave it a firm squeeze. "_Davidson_!" someone called sharply. "Fall in!" He started Grover forward, but Ben looked back as far as his head could turn, his brown eyes somber and serious. She had backed out of the way of the assembled horse soldiers with Penny, who nudged her shoulder as if to ask, "Hey! Can we go now?"

Felicity was numb, but not with the cold. She jumped up on Penny and stared after Ben. He watched her as long as he could, and then turned away, for he had to mind his officers. Felicity guided Penny away from the amassed soldiers, off to the side, and watched them pass. Other people, mostly women and children, also moved aside and away to watch in weighty silence.

It was really happening. Ben was leaving.

_Gone. He's gone. I can't see him anymore! _The first few rays of daylight were illuminating the east, casting enough light for her to see the faces and details of the uniforms and weapons and horses, but Ben was gone, having blended in with the other mounted soldiers. Maybe he could still see her, but she could no longer see him. He was going, he was gone. Going to Philadelphia...north, where the fighting was.

A small helpless sound escaped her lips again, a sound of anguish. For all she knew, she had just gazed upon him for the last time, spoken the last words she would ever say to him, touched his physical being for the last time. That summer Ben had run away she had helped him, gave him money and a map, and for a brief, brief time she didn't know whether she'd ever see him again. She had felt lonely and sad, and ever so worried for him. And now? Those same feelings were there, and they had multiplied by the _thousands_.She never imagined she'd love a boy at the age of eleven, much less her father's apprentice. But it was what it was and now she sat astride her beloved horse, watching the hoarde of soldiers on foot that followed the mounted ones that included her Ben-her father's apprentice, whom she loved.

"Lisse?" Mr. Merriman had quietly ridden up beside her on Old Bess. "Are you all right?"

She nodded slowly, uncertain. She really didn't know _how _she felt-or how _to _feel. She had gone blank, empty...numb. "They're leaving," she murmured without realizing it, as if it were more of her affirming it than stating the obvious. She didn't even feel her father's gentle hand upon her shoulder.

"I saw him, Lissie," Mr. Merriman told her consolingly. "He looks a fine soldier, and I'm proud of him. I'm proud of you, too, daughter."

"What for, Father?" she mumbled, downheartedly. The last of Col. Bland's men had finally passed, but her gaze had fallen to the frosty ground as her mind and soul attempted to wrangle with this turn of events. She was finding nothing now to compare it to, no previous emotion to relate what she was now feeling to. There was now only _numbness_.

"For being brave enough to let him go, for finding it in your heart what true love is and facing its consequences." He smiled a little, feeling a great swell of affection for his oldest living child. "Its not easy, sweetheart, but it will _get _easier."

Again she nodded.

Of course Mr. Merriman realized that his words were only half-heard. It would take time for her to understand them. He expected no more than that for now. "Let's go home, my sweet girl. There's nothing more to see here." He waited, letting her turn Penny towards home first before he started after her, moving up alongside her smoothly. Old Bess and Penny got on well, so that the older mare was a comfort to the younger one, and Penny was visibly glad to have her barnmate beside her.

Felicity didn't speak during the ride home, and her father knew better than to push for conversation. She needed time to think and come to grips. Her green eyes stared, but she did not cry. She was tight-lipped and deep within herself. As the sun rose over the hills, the naked trees and quiet homes didn't seem so bleak and heartless, not that she would have noticed anyway.  
Her heart had just left with Ben.

Just inside the barn, Mr. Merriman offered to take care of Penny for her, and Felicity didn't argue. He kindly suggested that she go on in and have some hot breakfast, to which she only mumbled half-alertly, "Yes, Father," and left him standing there between the two horses wearing a curious, concerned expression. He had expected her to be upset, even to cry a little, but her silence troubled him. Whenever she was grew quiet that meant the worst.

Tears he could take. Silence he could not.

Just inside the front door she stopped, stood still. left the door open a crack. Mrs. Merriman came out of the parlor on her way to the mini-kitchen and said, "Oh, there you are, Lissie.I figured you went along with your father when Nan said you weren't in bed when she got up." Mrs. Merriman hesitated, for Felicity didn't seem to have heard her, much less seem aware of her own mother's presence. Felicity continued to stare at the floor boards.

"Felicity, are you all right?"

She nodded yes, ever so slowly, but then her green eyes filled with tears. This time she could not hold them back. This time she did not want to. A small, hopeless sound came from her throat, and she covered her mouth with her hands as the sobbing followed, unleashed at last. She flew up the stairs, pounding hard, to her room to fling herself down on her bed and let loose like the rain in September.

"Felicity!" Mrs. Merriman called after her worriedly. At that moment, Mr. Merriman came through the door, bringing a draft of cold air after him. His wife whirled, mouth open and looking frightened and confused as he shut the door completely and began removing his cloak and gloves. "Edward, what-?"

He looked at her, his mouth a thin line of resignation.

"He's gone!" Martha's hand went to her collar. "They left." 'Twas an oral statement of the obvious.

Mr. Merriman nodded somberly as he hung his cloak up on a peg. "We got there just in time to see them leave." Martha came to him and he put an arm around her waist. "She got to speak to him briefly, but I didn't. She went on ahead of me..." He looked thoughtful.

"When she came in she was so quiet! Then she started to cry, and...somehow I knew then."

Edward Merriman nodded again. "So she let it out finally. Good. Its unbearable when that girl is quiet."

"Aye!" Martha galnced at the stairs. "What can we do for her, love?"

"Let her cry her tears out," Edward replied, for there really was nothing that could be done. "Let her have this day to herself. God only knows when she'll find peace again, after today. Or _us _for that matter." He hugged her close.

Martha sighed into his shoulder. "I know how she feels. I thought I'd cry myself to death the day you left to go west. I hated you for leaving me, but I loved you more than ever."

Mr. Merriman smiled.

"Did you know," she said, lifting her head to gaze at him through misty eyes, "that Father prayed for you? He said at the dinner table that very evening, 'Let that boy come back alive, or I'll lose this girl to a nunnery!'"

Edward chuckled ever so lightly. "It took me a while to learn that that Papa Lion of yours had a heart as big as his own pride."

"He loved you like you were his very own, darling."

Mr. Merriman sighed, as memories of the man who's daughter he'd married and claimed for his very own flickered through his mind's eye. And now there was young Ben Davidson, and his heart ached. "And now Ben...He's a son to me...to _us_, Martha. I want him back."

"As do I, Edward." Their foreheads touched. "As does our daughter."

Felicity spent the day in her room. She'd cried herself to sleep and slept heavily for hours. Little Nan had expressed concern for her older sister, but Mrs. Merriman firmly but gently told her that Felicity needed to be left alone. Now that the whole family knew that Ben was gone, a semi-depression settled upon them, but not necessarily upon Nan, who felt a sense of relief, yet irritation towards the departed apprentice. Sure enough, he'd broken her sister's heart.

Nan crept into their bedchamber later that afternoon, over to where her sisiter was sleeping with her red head buried in the pillows. She sat down on the bed's edge and stroked Felicity's soft red ponytail. "It'll be okay," Nan whispered encouragingly. "Don't worry, Lissie. Elizabeth, Arthur and I will keep you company."

And eventually Mrs. Merriman came in, carrying a tray of hot food, which she sat down upon Felicity's dresser while she lit the candle on the nightstand. "Lissie, darling, will you sit up and eat? You've had nothing all day."

"Mmm-phmm," came the forlorn, pillow-muffled reply.

"What was that, honey?"

Slowly, Felicity rose from her nest of sorrow there in the bed, revealing a cherry-red nose and a set of puffy eyes, made complete by dry sinuses. She looked woefully up at her mother, who was at once transported to a time when she looked the exact same way after Felicity's father had gone west to fight Indians. The mournful girl said sadly, "He's gone, Mother."

"I know, dearest."

"He won't be back."

"How do you know?" Martha Merriman asked, sitting down gently beside her. She cocked her head and smiled a bit. "Did Ben tell you that?"

"N-No," Felicity admited, sounding roughly nasal. "But-"

"_But _nothing," her mother interruped kindly. "Where is your faith? He hasn't even been gone a whole day yet. I know how sad you are, Lissie, I was in your very place when your father left for war. I cried until I was thirsty! But I always kept hope, and so must you. Without it, we'd all run mad."

Felicity nodded, leaned against her mother, who draped an arm around her small shoulders. She sighed wearily. "How did you ever endure Father being gone?"

"Prayer," began Mrs. Merriman thoughtfully. "Hope, faith...lots of baking and cooking...and I must've made at least a hundred dresses for my friends and cousins!"

Felicity smiled thinly.

Her mother gave her a little squeeze. "Keep busy, Felicity. It does help. And 'tis not as if there were not anything to do!" They both smiled this time. "Elizabeth came with Arthur this morning to escort you to Ms. Manderly's house. I told them what had happened and they wished for me to tell you that they would be back tomorrow. Elizabeth was going to tell Ms. Manderly about Ben. You have good friends who care and love you as well. It _will _get easier, Lissie."

But Felicity was frowning heavily. "I _hate _change! Oh, I just _hate _it!"

"Not all cahnge is bad, my girl." Mrs. Merriman lifted her daughter's chin with a finger. "You must remember that."

_Seems like the only change WE ever get is Bad, _Felicity thought in bitter retaliation. But as soon as she thought it, she felt guilty for being so spoiled. She only wanted Ben back. She stared sadly at the candle flame and felt gripped by her own misery.

Mrs. Merriman hugged her tightly and lovingly and said, "Now you must eat, dear. You haven't had a bite all day. I wish you would come down and eat with the rest of us, but I understand very well if you're not in the mood for company-it would appear that William has discovered that if you put your finger up your nose-hole, you will inevitably pull something out of it! *sigh!*"

Felicity smiled a wee bit more.

"But I'm going to tell you something that nobody bothered to tell me when I was going through what you are now-do not let fear and worry get you down. Do not dwell on what _might _happen, Lissie. Pray for Ben and live your life."

Felicity hugged her mother fiercely. After a minute of thought, she lifted her head. "Thank you, Mother."

"What for, duaghter?"

"For understanding. For knowing how I feel. For not telling me that I am a silly child or a weepy little girl."

Mrs. Merriman rose, smiling warmly, and gave Felicity her supper tray. "Well, you are neither of those, my daughter. You are a young lady in love. And you're _welcome_."

CHAPTER FINISHED!


	21. Chapter 21 And So Ben Goes To War

Felicity: An American Girl Romance, Part 1, CH 21: And So Ben Goes To War

Later that night, after the rest of the Merrimans had gone to bed, Felicity rose in the dark and reached for her robe and cloak, stepped into her shoes and quietly slipped ot of the house to the barn. It was indeed a cold December night, and the sky was clear and the stars shine brilliantly, giving off their own light in a sky that had only a thin crescent moon. She went up the ladder to Ben's loft and stepped inside the little room. It was nearly pitch dark in there, but Felicity didn't need a light to see her way around. Ben's cot was directly across from the door, and that's where she went. God bless him, he'd made his bed before he'd gone to Lee's camp. No one, with perhaps the exception of Mr. Merriman, had been up here since September. This was the first time she'd felt compelled to come up here since. Ben had been close by, albeit in a little white soldier's tent. Now he wasn't anywhere close by at all.

She pulled down his quilt and sheet and silently slipped in under them. Ben's musky, boyish scent was all over, and she quietly revelled in it. 'Twas nowhere near as perfect as being hugged up against him, of course, but it helped, being wrapped up in the same bedding he had used. And in one hand she gripped the signal whistle that still hung around her neck.

_Where are you_, _Ben_? she wondered woefully. _Are you warm_? _Are you safe_? _Can you see the Northern star from wherever you are_? That agonizing combination of sadness, fear and hurt welled up again, filling her chest so that she wanted to cry it out again, but Felicity was tired of crying. All day she wallowed in her misery and now her eyes were raw and puffy. Oh, she could very easily lapse into tears if she would just let them fall, fall but instead she swallowed her raging emotions back down.

_I have come to a decision_, thought she, with that willful determination that she was best known for. _'Tis apparent that change is all around me and IN me_.._but I do_ not _have to let it rule me_. _I have therefore decided that_.

Seventeen miles north of Williamsburg, the soldiers of Captain Harry Lee and Major Theodorick Bland were camping in the last available field they could find just before the night had closed in around them, after crossing the York River. Young Private Benjamin Davdson, still in his handsome new dragoon's uniform sans helmet, sat just outside his small tent before a nice-sized fire that some of his fellow privates had clustered theirs around as well, and conversations were beginning to die down for the night. He was absorbed in his own thoughts as he chewed on a piece of beef jerky.

He was thinking about a pretty little girl with blazing red hair and emerald green eyes so clear and full of spirit that you couldn't help but be taken with them. He never imagined that he'd fall in love with the young daughter of the man his own father had sent him to be apprenticed to. But it was what it was. He loved Felicity Merriman and she wasn't even twelve years old yet.

Absently, Ben Davidson smiled.

Men preferred to take young wives. _Whoosh_! he thought deliriously. _Wife_! _Too soon now to think about that_! But his soul nagged at him; _All she needs to do is get a little bit older and men will want her for a wife_. And then he felt a surge of jelousy. _But no man would ever allow Felicity to be herself but_ ME! _Any other man would expect her to be their perfect little gentlewoman_, _and her spirit would be crushed_. _I'd_ never _do that_! _I'd never try to change you_, _Lissie_. _Wait for me_!

_But then I might not come back_. _Alive_. _Mayhaps in a box like poor Michael Moffitt_..._NO_! _I cannot think like that! I am a soldier now!_

He clenched the beef in his teeth and yanked off a bite quite viciously.

_I've made a decision_. _'Tis too unfair to ask her to wait for me_. _She's just eleven_, _I cannot do that to her_. _I love you_, _my pretty patriot girl_, _but I must concentrate on being a soldier now_.  
_And Lord help me_, _I'm scared!_

Williamsburg lay still and quiet under the stars. Frost had already formed on the grass. The friends of Private Ben Davidson thought fondly of him before drifting off to sleep, among them being a young blond British lad who was the son of a jeweler, who wished he could be as brave and determined as Ben was, and thought lovingly of a young blond British girl who had stolen his fun-loving heart. There was a fellow apprentice who admired Ben's patriotic spirit and dedication, but wished a certain pretty red-head favored him instead of Ben. There were those who thought less of Ben Davidson as well, among them being an especially troubled young lord, who had recently learned that there were...conditions to his inheriting his late father's estate and that these conditions were more than he had counted on. There was a troubled young teenage lass with mousy brown hair, who had once fancied Ben Davidson with such gusto that it ruled her every waking thought. Still she fancied him, but her fancy had become tainted with fury, all because she'd caught Ben kissing her rival-someone she'd never considered as being a rival for anything until that very moment. And now she intented payback...whenever she could decide on something good enough.

And at last there was Felicity Merriman, whom Ben Davidson loved, who loved him more than anyone. She lay in the bed he once slept in, making some very grown up decisions. First and foremost, there would be no other boy to occupy her heart-which, in her mind, was no longer with her. It was with Ben, to whom it belonged, so that settled that matter. Secondly, she was giving herself over to the patriot cause one hundred percent. Lastly, but most importantly, young Felicity Merriman vowed to win her own independence.

Gentlewoman or not, her future would be her own.

BATTLE OF THE DRAGON by Stevie Nicks

This was not pre-planned, but after some calls I decided to go to the other side of the world

I see something, I see a handsome soldier

I see myself remainig when all of you are gone

And the reason that I paint you in my paintings, And the reason I record the sound of your voices

No one walks away from this battle

From the power, its so strong

Like a fury, Keep that fury deep inside you

And wish it to end

And when your friends start asking you why You just say nothing

The beautiful and the sensitive and the oh so very young, We are adapting to your silence

I can live here without you, At least I'm learning

But I cannot live without your songs Who have you been with?

Have you been with friends, or is there more? (You're not listening to me)

Have you been writing, well you say its harder now

Well, I got the message, stay among the living

From what I can tell I need to be here

You say someone's looking for you, nothing is wrong

Well, I can and I will go on I feel I will survive In the battle of the dragon No one walks away

Oh, you wish it to the end, wish it to the end

Author's Note: I do not own any lyrics, nor do I claim to. They are merely used for poetic purpose. So, this ends Part 1. If you are still with me, let me know. And if you are still with me, you are either A) nuts (and I mean that in the kindest way!:)) and/or B) some of the best Felicity fans I know. AND AFTER THE FIRST COMMENT I GET ABOUT HOW I DID ON PART ONE I WILL START POSTING PART 2.


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